Are we mad to sell up our lovely home?

[hearthat]

We have a large 4 bed semi, 3 double beds, one single. Huge kitchen, loads of storage, 2 large reception rooms, flat south facing garden etc. We’ve been here 27 years and brought our children up here very happily.

Children have now flown the nest and realistically the house will be a bit big for just me and DH. It’s 50 years old so we are looking at the possibility of a new roof which we have had quotes for around £13k. The gardens could do with new fencing and block boundary walls built etc - all a lot of work for a house that will be a bit big.

House has been valued for £325k. I will not downsize for less than a 3 bed and ideally that would need to be detached.

We would like something newer built, smaller and a bit more cosy / warmer in the winter. Newer Houses near us and nearer to shops etc are around £315k for 3 bed detached. So by the time we sell and pay fees we are no better off financially - effectively swapping to a smaller house for no gain.

I worry about fitting in our furniture- one house we saw that was 14 years old you could barely fit chests of drawers in by the time the beds were in. It was on for £310k and it was a semi. Higher prices as it had a garage (ours doesn’t) and it’s round the corner from shops and a nice pub etc.

So conflicted about whether we are doing the right thing. I’d like to be closer to amenities but it feels like we are making a financially silly decision to have a smaller house for no financial gain.

Has anyone done the same later in life? How did it work out?

so does having a downstairs loo!

This is so true. MIL and her husband moved to a lovely bungalow in their late 50s. Good location for them at the time, beautiful area with lots of nature.

Fast forward a decade and they are unhappy we wont move to be closer (we used to live further away but are moving to where they used to live and where the rest of our family still live).

Their reason is that they are too rural so are struggle accessing services. Step dad has lost confidence driving so they are stuck at home all the time and need more help from us.

I have sympathy, but I don't want to move to the middle of nowhere just to be on call to help my inlaws 24/7.

This OP!!!
My parents still live in the 3 floor, 4 bed house I was brought up in. They are in their 80s now and maintain house and garden just fine and would only move if either suddenly became incapacitated I imagine.

They have family stay as and when including my 3 children, brothers family from abroad and sister on an ad hoc basis.

I've never asked them but just assume they haven't moved because they like the house, the space, neighbours, area etc

I don't understand the MN rush to move to a retirement property in your 50s. Is it some sort of government funded 'prompt' to get older people to move out of their houses?🤔

You would be mad to move at your age on those conditions, crazily stressful and expensive
i am intrigued by all the posters with parents struggling on in too big houses. All the old folk i know bar one couple, are still in their “ original” homes.
My mum for example is 90 and still in her 5 bed house with a 1/2 acre garden. She has been there 65 years, and i think it would kill her to move her. She still sleeps upstairs. She does have a chap to cut the lawns and the hedges but it would be a very brave gardener who interfered with the beds which she still does herself ( 2 new hips and 1 new knee later) .

I wouldn’t bother moving. Trust me, the newer builds can be lower quality, feel smaller with zero storage. I wouldn’t bother.

Its a tricky one for sure. We are in iur late 60's and have thought lots about a bungalow. But they are in great demand and expensive ( our large pre war semi, in good nick and modernised, would be not much more than a bungalow after we'd spent money getting it just right). But i don't think its about the money. A smaller place as we age, keeping it clean, maintained, is what im thinking of. This house is for a family and the street we live on us fast becoming full of elderly widows, who should have moved out years ago but its too late. I fear being left on my own in a big property in later years. People will say, you've got years yet, but as has been said by other posters, you have to do it before you HAVE to do it. Its just making that decision. I'm happy here. But I know the day is coming to make a decision. But its not a financial issue for me.

I sold a big house when kids left and downsized. I still had some of their stuff and all of mine. They came back home for various spells in their life. I never got comfortable in less space. Sold it and bought bigger spread my stuff out and put theirs in spare room for next visit or spell at home. Space makes it easier to keep tidy and friends and family can still stay over. I'd stay put. Shut doors to keep in heat and put a jumper on. And just prioritise what needs doing X

wise advice.

Same position OP. I feel the house is too big for me too. But when looking the gap between a smaller bungalow or new build is not that much for what I have now . Not enough equity in this one to get what I want . And I don't want to compromise which means I guess I am not ready yet . I thought I could sell this house , cash buy the next and have lots of money left over . Not true so I will stay put for awhile .

Don’t forget that you may well want to have space for kids and or grandkids to come and stay in the future.

It costs so much to move, with stamp duty, conveyancing and then finding that you need new furniture. Unless you are unhappy where you are I’d spend the money on your existing house.

You’ve just decribed the house I’m currenly
house hunting for! And more importantly- within my price range! What are of the uk is this and will it be coming to market?

Yeah that's what I think. It's good to have space. You might not need it at this precise moment but it's nice in life if you want to help out, you can. Have slack in the system so theres always a room if a kids needs it. Marriages fail, health can fail, someone might want to stay over.
If you love the house stay. Newer houses.still need maintenance. Moving is expensive in time and money. Fees fees fees. If it ain't broke, don't fix it.

Sold our 4 bed detached to downsize. We rented for a long while to find the right place and try new area and moved into own house again this year - I am now 64. The stress moving out and in new place again should not be dismissed as the older we get - especially post 60, the anxiety increases and it can be quite overwhelming - throwing away lifetimes of memories, parents china, school stuff etc. plus all the finance, tradesmen, packing up, whatever. Took me many months to recover. I would advocate doing a downsize move in your 60s if you can. If you are 50 now, you don’t feel the same at 60 and can only imagine at 70 contemplating a move. I now live in a single storey and am aware of the “dangers” of bungalow legs but do have steps up to the garden and also walk and swim a lot for exercise. I feel there are worse things that will get me. On the plus side - all the stress of “what if…” have faded away. Financially am about even.

If OP has been in her home 27 yrs it will have accrued in value. Stamp duty at £6k is obviously a bit of a chunk to cover but in the round if it can be absorbed in the down size surely, is it really such a barrier?
Change can be positive.

We had solar panels on our previous house. I was shocked to be told by two estate agents that they ignore them when valuing the house! We'd spent a few thousands on them expecting to get the money back from a) saving money on electricity and the feed in tariff and b) if we sold. They just cost us a lot of money over the few years we had them.

I dunno. I bought my house 30 years ago and looked at the value of my house and downloading to somewhere smaller but closer to the local village and a bungalow and by the time I had taken stamp duty, removal and the other costs into account, I wouldn't have made a lot of profit on the deal. It doesn't actually have much to do with how much value has accrued because all the houses that are for sale will either have accrued in value or cost more because they are new builds. The value of my house has gone up a lot since we bought it but so has everywhere else!

Absolutely stay where you are. You would pay massive stamp duty you would never recoup. And you are swapping for the same size property or smaller for the same money.

Moving is very stressful, you could end up with neighbours from hell. You pay tens of thousands in stamp duty you never get back.

you need a property to leave your kids or use as equity for a care home.

Please really think long and hard about every scenario that could happen in the future before you move. We had spent over 20 years literally rebuilding our lovely bungalow and making it “elderly proof” for the future, along with that we were looking after both sets of parents and a step parent as they all got older and went through their elderly health issues, stokes, cancer etc. when they all passed away I had my own health problems and was absolutely exhausted as we’d had other personal problems alongside looking after them all. I decided I wanted to move and get away from all the problems and stress I still had and hopefully have a bit more of a peaceful life after the constant pressure of the previous 10 years. We had had our beautiful bungalow extended twice during the time we’d lived in it, big new kitchen, proper tiled roof put on our conservatory, wet floor shower en suite plus new bathroom etc etc
OMG I could kick my own backside for being so stupid and not only moving but downsizing too! We moved first to Cornwall,,,,huge mistake, lovely property, brand new, but because it was brand new it needed built in wardrobes and cupboards as there wasn’t a cupboard in the place and outside was a building site so consequently we had to have the garden front & back landscaped. After a year my husband started acting strange and to cut a long story short he had brain scans and told he’d got dementia so we then needed to move again to be nearer our son . We couldn’t find a bungalow for the money we had as Covid had hit when we moved to Cornwall and all the properties went up so we have had to settle for a small cottage in a village outside the city we had lived in all our lives and where we had lived in our bungalow. I’ve had 2 knee replacements since we’ve been here and it would have been much easier and practical if we’d still been in our bungalow. Also although this cottage looked ok on the survey it turned out the woman that had this place before us had not done a thing in 10 years at least. The boiler went within weeks of moving in, it needs a complete re wire and is desperate for a new kitchen and new front door plus could do with double glazing! She had covered up so many problems I was (still am) furious, but we haven’t got any money to do all this stuff so am having to save each month a little when I can from our pensions because we’ve recently retired. So NO I personally wouldn’t move at the moment if I were you because you could be jumping from the frying pan into the fire. I bitterly regret moving and wished I’d realised I needed a holiday not a move, hindsight eh!

A relative of mine recently had his house valued with view to sell up and down size. The estate agents (all of them) have said now is not the time to tell.
I would stay put for a few more years then review

Don’t go for a bungalow if you do. Bungalow legs is a real thing. Google it!

I would stay where you are. I like having space and a large garden. We would just adapt the house in the future if necessary and employ a gardener etc. We already have a downstairs shower and a chair lift would definitely a consideration. I don’t like bungalows.

I’m not convinced downsizing is always the golden goose people go on about

it was a godsend my parents didn’t my dad needed care at the end hospital bed and hoist plenty of room for carers to help him

when I went through the figures the cost of moving could run and maintain my mums house and garden for 10 years not to mention if the house she went to needed work
did a lot of work in the garden to make it low maintenance

Stay until you feel you really need to move.

I’d wait to see if stamp duty is removed by next government