Page 4 | Can anyone relate to feeling upset about leaving a much-loved home?

SadHouse · 2026-04-18T16:08:37+00:00

I feel so pathetic. Dh and I have been in this house almost 20 years. We've done a lot to it. The only reason we're moving is the area. It goes through periods of being rough. It's been ok for a good while. But it's getting rough again. We're not getting any younger and can't be done with it. We've found another house and in the process of buying. It isn't dependant on selling ours but ours is on the market. I'm looking at our beautiful home online that other people will live in. It's breaking me. I feel guilty because I have a friend going through an awful time. And I'm crying over bricks and mortar. Luckily I'm not at work for a week so can have my mini breakdown without it affecting work. Can anyone relate? If I could transport our house to the nicer area we're moving to I would. I think losing a lot of close family whilst living here may have added to my upset. Lots of good and bad memories tied here.

BasiliskStare · 24/04/2026 14:22

@SadHouse I think what you are feeling is perfectly normal. I've been there.

What I would say is , you said you and Dh had done a lot to the house , but the area is getting rough. You and Dh can't fix the area on your own but you can make the new house lovely like you did with the last one.

I would just accept this is a normal period of sadness and I think it will go. Look forward to the planning for the new house. I am sure it will be fine.

But I do understand your feelings 💐

harriethoyle · 24/04/2026 15:18

@SadHouse I just wanted to say I can totally relate - I had to manage the sale of my parents home after DM died because DF had dementia. I’d grown up there and it had been their home for almost 50 years. It was dated but structurally sound and we sold on that basis, knowing it would be modernised.

What I didn’t know was that the woman I sold it to has aspirations to be an “influencer” and documented the whole ripping apart of the house online. My aunt found her page and was upset by it and then told me. I couldn’t not look… It was horrific. She was so rude about my parents taste, the carpets, what she thought of how it had been left - all after all sale brought about by a death during Covid and dementia. It was utterly heartbreaking. So , so disrespectful to my parents and our family. So please don’t be tempted to peek if you find your buyer is documenting renovations… it’s not worth it!

Original poster

SadHouse · 24/04/2026 16:01

harriethoyle · 24/04/2026 15:18

@SadHouse I just wanted to say I can totally relate - I had to manage the sale of my parents home after DM died because DF had dementia. I’d grown up there and it had been their home for almost 50 years. It was dated but structurally sound and we sold on that basis, knowing it would be modernised.

What I didn’t know was that the woman I sold it to has aspirations to be an “influencer” and documented the whole ripping apart of the house online. My aunt found her page and was upset by it and then told me. I couldn’t not look… It was horrific. She was so rude about my parents taste, the carpets, what she thought of how it had been left - all after all sale brought about by a death during Covid and dementia. It was utterly heartbreaking. So , so disrespectful to my parents and our family. So please don’t be tempted to peek if you find your buyer is documenting renovations… it’s not worth it!

How rude! Could you comment on her page? I'd have had to.

We have 2 more viewings this week on ours. It is weird having strangers wander around your home. Dh took the last one round.

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harriethoyle · 24/04/2026 16:08

I had to block it in the end @SadHouse for my own sanity - I was very tempted to
email her but I thought it would probably be more upsetting than trying to put it out of my mind.

Could your EA take people round so you can avoid it?

Original poster

SadHouse · 24/04/2026 16:14

harriethoyle · 24/04/2026 16:08

I had to block it in the end @SadHouse for my own sanity - I was very tempted to
email her but I thought it would probably be more upsetting than trying to put it out of my mind.

Could your EA take people round so you can avoid it?

I don't blame you.
The EA can take them round. It isn't a huge house so doesn't take much showing round. We'll probably just let them do it if they come with them?

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LibertyLily · 24/04/2026 17:58

harriethoyle · 24/04/2026 15:18

@SadHouse I just wanted to say I can totally relate - I had to manage the sale of my parents home after DM died because DF had dementia. I’d grown up there and it had been their home for almost 50 years. It was dated but structurally sound and we sold on that basis, knowing it would be modernised.

What I didn’t know was that the woman I sold it to has aspirations to be an “influencer” and documented the whole ripping apart of the house online. My aunt found her page and was upset by it and then told me. I couldn’t not look… It was horrific. She was so rude about my parents taste, the carpets, what she thought of how it had been left - all after all sale brought about by a death during Covid and dementia. It was utterly heartbreaking. So , so disrespectful to my parents and our family. So please don’t be tempted to peek if you find your buyer is documenting renovations… it’s not worth it!

How awful and insensitive @harriethoyle! Like @SadHouse says, I'd have been tempted to add a(n equally rude!) comment to their SM page.....

I do Instagram - or rather I did, documenting the renovations on our last house. I've barely posted since buying this place in 2024. But however much I think the previous owners made some terribly inappropriate - not to mention batshit - decorating decisions (which they did!), I'd never rip them apart on social media where their family members could see.

@SadHouse have your EAs not offered to do the viewings? I know it's different in some areas - eg, our last-but-one house (West Midlands) the EA expected us to do them, whereas most recently in Wales, we were positively discouraged. I think some buyers prefer to not have the vendors present as they feel they can speak more freely, iyswim? Anyway, good luck!

Original poster

SadHouse · 24/04/2026 18:05

@LibertyLily yes EAs will do the viewings.

I just can't wait for it to be over. So stressful.

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harriethoyle · 24/04/2026 18:19

Thanks @LibertyLily - it was pretty brutal at the time. Made worse by the fact that had been my parents forever home and they intended to spend their entire lives there but dad’s dementia meant he couldn’t go back after mum died. I posted on here about it at the time and people were so, so kind. And in fact someone recognised me and pmed me to say how loved and respected my parents were, which was a really lovely silver lining.

Bricks and mortar are never just that though are they? They represent everything we experienced in them and that’s why selling a much loved family home is tougher than it should be rationally!

GoldMoon · 24/04/2026 18:45

My parents ( and childhood ) home . It was sold after their deaths and I had to empty it by myself as an only child .
It had been their house for over 51 years and all my childhood memories of us were there .
I went around the house stroking and laying a cheek against the walls and sitting on the back doorstep one last time .
I miss them and it .

Original poster

SadHouse · 24/04/2026 21:09

So sorry @GoldMoon

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FasterMichelin · 24/04/2026 21:38

Houses aren’t just bricks and mortar though, they’re homes. They’re lived in, loved and cared for. A lot of time and care has gone into making it yours.

Absolutely normal to feel sad to leave it. I still look at our old house on Rightmove when I want to remind myself of it. I love my current home and know I’ll feel just like you when the time comes to downsize or move.