Buying a property that my elderly parent wouldn't be able to access?

[heartheadwhich]

DH and I are downsizing for a better location and quality of life. We have been looking for a few weeks and have now seen a property that fits our requirements for size, price (we could be mortgage free), location and gives us 'the feeling' as well.

However, it's up four flights of stairs (period conversion flat, huge and beautiful), which is fine for us but will make it effectively out of bounds for my father, who would not be able to manage them. At the moment we live in a house and he struggles when he comes round even to get up the three steps to our front door.

When I mentioned the flat to him, he made a crack about 'keeping him out'. He would absolutely say he was joking but it's played on my mind ever since. As the dutiful eldest daughter I'm now worrying about whether or not it would be a terrible decision to buy somewhere that my lovely dad could never visit.

We could of course still visit him! But I can't help thinking we're being a bit selfish to even consider it.

Would this be a deal breaker for you? Btw, not up for a discussion about the pros and cons of buying flats themselves, just interested in thoughts around the access issue.

Removal costs will be 4 times as much as you have all those stairs too!

I can’t see you mentioning your age? We downsized four years ago and are now 70 and 72 respectively to a house. Time passes quickly; I think if you’re downsizing it needs to be as long a term home as you want it to be. What you’re seeing now with your Dad (re mobility) may happen to one or both of you. Also, I like my property to go up in value - four flights of stairs will put lots of people off! Writing this as someone who always uses stairs instead of lifts as exercise!

You need to consider how future-proofed it is for you. Accidents, illness and disability can all strike when you least anticipate it.

I think its a bad idea full stop, unless you only plan to stay a few years.

I think it sends a message given how often he visits. Imagine if he bought a flat you couldn’t access?

I really doubt that. Are you getting it confused with 'if it was 4 times further away?!'

@letshavetea I also noticed the OP hasn't mentioned her age. With downsizing her property and having an infirm (presumably fairly elderly) father, I think she must be middle aged - like 50, possibly 55? Very few people are downsizing at 45 or younger...

How old are you actually @heartheadwhich ?

Gosh, my husband and I lived in a lovely flat on the fourth floor with no lift when we were in our twenties. Loved that place but dear god it was so inconvenient and we were young and fit. We never missed the outside space but getting deliveries of any sort were a problem, people visiting and going up the stairs was a problem. Imagine you forget something…I wouldn’t do it in middle age.

So, you buy this flat outright, mortgage free, and live happily albeit without your DF's frequent visits, which he lives for. Until he died and leaves his inheritance to you so you can buy a bungalow so you wont need to tackle those stair when you're old! The irony.
Sorry OP but have you really thought this through

My cousin lives in a 4th floor flat. It wouldn't be my choice even though the rooms are big. Her mums mobility is reducing and it is difficult for her, so they are looking to buy a house. It is also difficult with children and lugging shopping up and down the stairs. In your case, it is also worth thinking about your own mobility reducing as you get older, too. For me tbh that would be the biggest reason why I wouldn't opt for such a property. If your dad stops driving the onus will be on you to visit him anyway but it's worth considering that you will only get older and is it really a good property for you long term.

Well it won’t be your forever home clearly. Because of the stairs. So it’s an interesting choice.

I don’t think I’d move to that flat even at my age (46) so many things made more difficult. My mum recently fell and broke her hip and was practically housebound for a good while and that was a first floor flat. Really hindered her recovery and ability to gently exercise and that’s without any real mobility issues prior. Also shopping, large purchases, furniture (PIVOT). The fact your dad visits twice a week and it enriches his life (and is also the most convenient option for you) would be the decider but I’d be leaning well towards no anyway due to practicalities for myself. You’d had to move again as you age , which will be a hassle too with all the stairs

It doesn’t have to be a bungalow. Houses have ground floors. The flat in the OP isn’t a 4th floor on stilts. It has a similar spacious building on the ground floor, often with a small, manageable garden.

Doesn’t sound great for you Dad or for your future.

Sorry OP but no I wouldn’t buy a flat that it was literally impossible for an important relative to visit me at, and I wouldn’t move to a flat with no lift option at all beyond the age of about 30. I guess I’m lucky that I’ve never had to consider that, but tbh if you are downsizing you do have options.

I’m also not against being in a flat - I love my garden but can see the appeal of a balcony and going to the park! But with your ages, anything above a 1st floor flat should have a lift if you plan to be in this flat for more than 10 years.

4th floor with no lift in your 50s does run the risk of you becoming a forced seller if one of you find you can’t manage the stairs. How long has this flat been on the market? Is it likely you’d be able to get a quick sale if one of you developed mobility issues?

@heartheadwhich Is this one of those period house conversions with communal gardens?

If so I’ve known a small number of people who have bought into these. They look fabulous and the grounds were lovely but in each case the fabulous-ness comes at quite a price. Service charges for the block/gardens can escalate without warning (especially where heating also comes under the service charge) and you have little control or input. In each case a number of the flats were bought by time share operators so a rolling collection of people appearing - this was at odds with the “small community” feel promised.

Four flights of stairs are presumably communal? So not suitable for stairlifts. This is a big deal not just for your father but for you as you get older and every step outside your door requires four flights of stairs down and up. Even a sprained ankle becomes an issue. You may remain fit but friends less so which makes it hard for them to visit.

Check also for covenants and rules on the property regarding disabilities. You don’t want to find yourself in a situation where a sale is forced due to circumstances or need for access.

I would buy something more practical and visit period houses with access limitations for holidays.

I live in a ground floor one and I’ve been so thankful for that many, many times
I couldn’t have done the stairs after - spinal surgery, a torn calf muscle, endometriosis surgery… so many things. Yes I’ve been a bit unlucky but one broken ankle and you’re pretty much stuck