Buying a property that my elderly parent wouldn't be able to access?

[heartheadwhich]

DH and I are downsizing for a better location and quality of life. We have been looking for a few weeks and have now seen a property that fits our requirements for size, price (we could be mortgage free), location and gives us 'the feeling' as well.

However, it's up four flights of stairs (period conversion flat, huge and beautiful), which is fine for us but will make it effectively out of bounds for my father, who would not be able to manage them. At the moment we live in a house and he struggles when he comes round even to get up the three steps to our front door.

When I mentioned the flat to him, he made a crack about 'keeping him out'. He would absolutely say he was joking but it's played on my mind ever since. As the dutiful eldest daughter I'm now worrying about whether or not it would be a terrible decision to buy somewhere that my lovely dad could never visit.

We could of course still visit him! But I can't help thinking we're being a bit selfish to even consider it.

Would this be a deal breaker for you? Btw, not up for a discussion about the pros and cons of buying flats themselves, just interested in thoughts around the access issue.

Have you thought long term for you? MIL was fit as a flea a few years ago, the last couple of years health issues have started to kick in (she is early 70s)

FIL and his partner lived in a townhouse for awhile, 3 floors. Didn’t take them long to regret that

I wouldn't buy this purely because it sounds like you'd have to share repairs with other people and live in a property that's been subdivided. The period property next to us has been subdivided. The downstairs neighbour wants to put in a ramp so her mum can get up the 4 steps the upstairs neighbour doesn't want to.

It's hard for us to answer, OP, as you are seeing, everyone is bringing their own prejudices about housing to bear. If you love the flat and it would be possible for you to fit a stair lift for your OWN use, should you need to, then it's you that has to live there! Go for it. Because when it comes to your dad, it sounds like unless you buy a bungalow on absolutely flat ground with a one-level entry, he is going to struggle and it may be beyond him in not very long.

I'm sure it's a nice apartment @heartheadwhich but I would never be buying a place that is up FOUR flights of stairs, with no lift. I am a bit claustrophobic and not too keen on using lifts, and when we're in a hotel I usually use the stairs - often no more than about 50 steps though, usually only 25-30, and I am OK with that..... But I could not be doing with this as a permanent arrangement.

Think very seriously about this. I am guessing you are middle aged (40s/early 50s??) and probably feel fit and young-ish still, but when your mid to late 50s kick in, you will start to get ailments and aches and pains that you never got before, and you will start to find 4 flights of stairs very annoying and difficult. What about food shopping, (or anything really) that you need to take up all those stairs?

If you are already past mid 50s, then you will notice the ailments more if you have to walk up all these steps every day!

Add this all in with the fact your father (or anyone with mobility problems could never visit, then no, I wouldn't buy this place.

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Quite mean. How old are you and your husband? Are you looking at this as your last house move?

@Vroomfondleswaistcoat a stair lift up 4 flights of stairs!

We don't know that they are all long flights, we don't know how many steps are involved!

I would be more worried that .

They would need four separate stairlifts, surely?!

I think you will shaft get tired of lugging your shopping up all those stairs as I can’t imagine you are that young

Never mind your dad - if you’re old enough to be downsizing, how long will it be okay for you!

As someone who’s watched how quickly health issues arrive in the over 50s, unless you are still in your 30s, don’t do it. You’ll be moving again soon or you’ll be stubborn and more likely, limit your trips out to once a day maximum (and some days not at all).

4 flights of stairs when you’ve done a big shop in your 20s, annoying but fine. In your 60s, you’ll just have to stop buying anything heavy.

This.

Yeah, true. But hopefully it will be a long time before OP needs anything like this, and there may well be alternative options by then. I just think the 'you might not be able to manage the stairs' isn't a great reason not to buy - if the worst happens then OP could always move again, but going up and down stairs every day is a great way of keeping fitter as you age.

That will be a massive pain in the arse for you. Think groceries, furniture etc, and your own mobility in the future.

I wouldn’t buy a property my parent couldn’t get into, absolutely not. Nor would I buy a property thinking of it as my “forever home” when it probably won’t be - since not many people live through old age in a flat at the top of 4 flights of stairs.

a stair lift up 4 flights of stairs!

If the stairs provide access to all the flats, not just OP's, I doubt she'd be able to do it; the stairs wouldn't belong to her.

I had 97 steps to my uni flat in my 20's and the big shop always killed me!! I don't think people realise how hard it is to be on top/nearly top floor flats.

I used to live in a flat 3 flights up with no lift. It was annoying running down the stairs to get deliveries, the post and so on. And then carrying all the shopping up. It wasn’t fun at times! I also developed a blood clot in my leg and I couldn’t leave the flat for about 4 weeks as I couldn’t manage the stairs.

My parents had a first floor flat bought in their 60s. By their early 70s it was very hard for them due to mobility problems and they ended up paying more moving costs and a more money for a ground floor property they’d looked at first time round and dismissed as having not enough character.
Bit of an expensive mistake.

No-one is bringing prejudices! 🙄 The OP asked for opinions and people have been giving them!

And how is a stairlift going to work for FOUR flights of stairs?

Four flights of stairs is going to wear very thin for you. Deliveries, shopping etc will be a real pain.

Yes they are. Someone up thread saying that they could never live in a fourth floor flat because they couldn't live without a garden.

Maybe OP doesn't like gardening. That's what I mean by bringing their own prejudices against living in a flat. THEY couldn't do it, so they don't think OP should. But OP might actually prefer living in a flat.

Personally as he visits regularly then I would not buy somewhere so impossible for him to access. Personally a 4th floor flat would not be something I would consider anyway unless there was a lift.

Well, as a pp said, the stairs won't belong to the OP, so she won't be able to put ANYthing on the stairs to aid people getting up the four flights of stairs.