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Original poster

Having serious doubts about the house I’ve bought

91 replies

Jigsaw72 · 29/01/2026 17:31

Move is imminent. I’ve been through a long divorce (that has dragged on an eternity) and had to put the family home (4 bed detached) on the market. Kids are over 18 and at university so the house just has me in it. Too big and it was pushing my budget a bit and I didn’t want to struggle so I’ve purchased another house (3 bed in a new estate). I’d had an offer accepted on another house but the seller pulled out and I felt under pressure to find another quickly as there were 4 other houses in the chain waiting on me.

I have started to realise I could’ve probably bought out my ex. We were mortgage free but I have had to take a mortgage out for £95k for my new home. I’d have needed probably another £50k to buy out the family home. The family home is a big house and big garden - I work FT and found it all a bit much.

I’ve driven to the other house a few times and I’m now dreading it. I’m starting to pick at the estate and the house. It’s lovely inside but I just feel that the house is on a cramped estate and I like to see a bit of greenery. I’m having serious jitters and wish I’d gone for the family home instead and tried to make it work. The kids are both sad.

I will move in as everyone else is waiting on me and the completion date has been set. Would it be crazy of me to sell up in 6 months if I don’t like it?

OP posts:
Nutmuncher · 30/01/2026 07:51

Widowed MIL moved to a new build estate and 18 months later still hates it. She sees no value in the house compared to the fixtures and fittings of the house she sold. In theory at the time it made sense but I think if she could turn back the clocks she wouldn’t have moved.

Pull out.

WhoInvitedHer · 30/01/2026 07:52

I would let the sale go through, pull out of the purchase, rent and look for something you love

bugalugs45 · 30/01/2026 07:53

I didn’t like my house when I originally bought it ,
but time was ticking and I felt like I just needed to buy something !
A few months on when I’d done some cosmetic work and realised what a lovely area it actually is , I can’t see myself ever moving . Hopefully will be the same for you .

Greenwitchart · 30/01/2026 07:56

Don't buy the house if you don't think you can be happy there. You have not exchanged so nothing is binding for now.

Lifejigsaw · 30/01/2026 08:17

Pull out. Take it from someone who didn’t and now is looking at losing £50k selling again immediately and has a breakdown!

santasbaubles · 30/01/2026 08:28

You must see that it would be nuts to move to a house you don’t like purely to avoid annoying people who you will never see again in your life.

I think it’s important to get this move right, post-divorce. Personally I’d pull out of buying the new place, but still sell your old house, then rent for a bit.

Advocodo · 30/01/2026 08:28

Jigsaw72 · 29/01/2026 17:34

I can’t - I’ll feel terrible. My sellers are
moving to a new build. I’ve paid two lots of solicitors and survey fees already.

Haven’t read all the posts but you need to put yourself 1st. Do what is best for you and your family,

District66 · 30/01/2026 11:08

MiniCoopers · 30/01/2026 07:35

Think of it as a long term rental for a while, allow yourself to miss your old home but also enjoy the extra money you have and the fact this is ‘yours’ without memories of your ex. I think it’s also because it was your children’s home and that’s ok. But try to enjoy the new house

That is actually a brilliant way to look at it

TreadSoftlyOnMyDreams · 30/01/2026 12:12

Is it worth driving over there and having a wander about. Maybe not if it's pouring with rain and dreary as hell though. Ideally, you'd do another walk through the house to remind yourself why you liked it.

I'd second the advice to see it as a long term rental and if the estate is in high demand, potentially you will leave with equity too in a few years before you find your long term retirement home.

From your description of your family home, while there is obviously huge sentimental value it sounds like it will be a millstone around your neck long term.

VillaOfReducedCircumstances · 30/01/2026 13:00

I think the OP is past the having another look stage - she’s actually moving in today according to an earlier post.

Travellingatthespeedoflight · 30/01/2026 13:09

Another one saying pull out. You will feel awful but will forever regret moving to a house you don’t love.

user1471538283 · 30/01/2026 14:23

I'm a big believer in knowing if a house is for you. If you take away all the upheaval, when you first viewed it did it speak to you?

Would this be a "fire break" to give you time to get your thoughts together?

You've been through so much. I think you'll be happier somewhere smaller whether this one or another one.

HouseHouseHouse7 · 30/01/2026 16:35

Did you exchange today OP?

Chewbecca · 30/01/2026 17:06

Your future self will be grateful you don't need to use your tax free lump sum to pay off a loan - it's money you will appreciate in retirement.

Original poster
Jigsaw72 · 30/01/2026 21:04

I’ve moved in. Had a horrendous day, with delays further down the chain. Didn’t get the keys until 16:55 and then had to take the keys from my old house to my buyers (who were waiting to move their stuff in). My buyers were still moving out and I left my removal people to move stuff in while I took the keys to my buyers. When I returned, everything was in the house or in the garage (separate to the house). I’d asked for a lot of the boxes to go in the garage so I didn’t feel overwhelmed and could unpack a few at a time. Went to lock up the garage - no key for the front (garage door) and no key for the door at the other end. I think the owner has forgot he has it. Loads of my stuff is in there and it’s unlocked so I’m not happy. Due to the lateness of getting my keys, it was dark when we got here.

As for the house. I don’t like it. I want to go home. I’m an idiot for selling it. I probably could have bought my ex out. I should’ve made it work. This house is smaller than I thought. There a few repairs required. Reality is hitting. I’m alone here. I’ve managed to make up my bed but I’ve cried since I got here. I wish I’d stayed in my house. I’m an idiot for letting it go.

Not sure if I can screw my life up anymore than I have 😭.

OP posts:
magicstar1 · 30/01/2026 21:08

I think most people feel like that on day 1. I cried on our first night thinking we'd made a mistake. It's all so different, things need fixing, cleaning, and they just don't feel like yours. Give yourself some time x

ChikinLikin · 30/01/2026 21:16

Ah. I sympathise. I've been there. The best plan now is to see the house as a stepping stone, a temporary project. Make it as beautiful as you can and sell it in a year's time once you've worked out where you really do want to live.

PurpleFlower1983 · 30/01/2026 21:18

Pull out. It will cost so much more to move again. My grandmother did this, she moved and regretted it every day since.

ShodAndShadySenators · 30/01/2026 21:51

Ah OP, so many of us have felt that when we've moved to a new house. You've made the old one just as you liked it, all homely and cosy and very "you". Naturally the new one is not at all like that, but it will get there in time.

Remember it's just your five year house, it's not permanent, you can sell it again in future if you want. In the meantime start making it more you, hopefully you'll start feeling better about it soon.

Your old family home, it was too large for just you, you might have struggled on your own to keep up with the maintenance of the house and garden. You would have rattled around in it like a pea in a whistle. It's time to move on in a new chapter, this is your chance to start afresh with a clean slate. If in time you haven't grown to love it, you can move on again.

ByQuaintAzureWasp · 30/01/2026 22:56

Jigsaw72 · 29/01/2026 17:34

I can’t - I’ll feel terrible. My sellers are
moving to a new build. I’ve paid two lots of solicitors and survey fees already.

You can and you should!

HouseHouseHouse7 · 30/01/2026 23:07

You’ve been through divorce. The first night in your new home was always likely to be difficult. Don’t be too hard on yourself. It’s possible that you’ll feel settled in the next week or two.

Littlethatchedcottage · 31/01/2026 00:57

You poor thing, honestly it will get better, houses always look horrendous and unhomley when you first move in, especially in the dark, I hope you feel a bit better in the daylight.

Peridot1 · 31/01/2026 13:40

PurpleFlower1983 · 30/01/2026 21:18

Pull out. It will cost so much more to move again. My grandmother did this, she moved and regretted it every day since.

A bit tricky as she moved in yesterday

Peridot1 · 31/01/2026 13:40

ByQuaintAzureWasp · 30/01/2026 22:56

You can and you should!

Show quote history

But she moved in yesterday

Peridot1 · 31/01/2026 13:46

@Jigsaw72 - your moving days sounds particularly stressful which won’t be helping how you feel. It will get better. You haven’t messed up your life. It’s hard letting go of a home we loved. Especially as it’s tied up with feelings around divorce.

There were reasons you put in an offer on the house. Try to concentrate on them. Spring is coming. The evenings are getting brighter. And you can make this house a home. You can decorate it how YOU want. Make it how YOU want it. You don’t have to spend a fortune especially if you think you might move in a few years but give yourself some time to adjust. I remember my sister sobbing when they moved into their new house. And they were moving to a much bigger and better house.

Hope you are feeling better today.