Regret buying this stupid house

[Cantbelieveididit]

Not sure what I’m even looking for other than to vent.
I have bought a house and it was a terrible mistake.
I have financially pushed myself to the limit so haven’t got extra cash to do all the things I didn’t realise needed doing to improve things.
I bought the house 4months ago- had a survey done and nothing was flagged so can’t even blame that and we viewed it twice.
since moving in I’ve realised the neighbours directly behind are horrible and noisy- music blasting, screaming at their kids and arguing at 2am with a constant smell of weed.
Neighbour next door is a grumpy old man who is constantly looking over the fence and will only acknowledge my husband. School catchment is awful.
Another neighbour seems to have issues with the trees at the bottom of the garden, before we completed the previous owners through the solicitors said they were going to fell them due to a neighbour worrying about them, my husband stupidly said no don’t cut them. Now it looks like she’s investigating for subsidence due to foliage around her property (our trees and another neighbours it seems) .. nothing official yet so again previous owners didn’t have to do anything , they did cut them yearly I think, the other neighbour didn’t.
when we bought the house I couldn’t believe our luck- it was so cheap and thought it was the dream house.. new kitchen, massive driveway and garden, 5 bedrooms… now I realise why.
why was I so stupid to think we were getting a bargain.
how soon can we put it up for sale?

I’m so sorry you’re going through this - hold stead and follow the helpful replies.

I’ve recently started working in health and social care, and drive around for miles in our city. For the first time I’m getting to experience the suburbs on the outskirts of our large city.

What I would say is that I’ve driven into so many ostensibly nice areas, where I think it would be a nice place to live, but have then seen the actual people who live there walking around and have just been massively put off.

We’re going to be moving to the countryside soon, and I’m going to be parking outside every local Tesco in each area to get the lay of the land! Call me snobby but it’s worked. Hassocks in East Sussex was a consideration until we went to their high street…

Well it just seems to get worse- terrible rain and wev got a damp patch along the length of a room.
and the loud neighbours are getting worse, I sound dramatic but I have never heard language like it, the mum is constantly shouting words my children have never heard before at her own children and partner which then results in all night long screaming matches. I don’t understand how this can go on.
i dread coming home. The area isn’t good, I’m not local so didn’t know and I stupidly didn’t research much but just walking around in the day to walk the dog and it’s just not nice- my kids can’t grow up around here

We bought a house I bitterly regret buying 4 years ago and have had nothing but problems with not only the house, but the neighbours and now my husband’s been diagnosed with early onset dementia! I feel trapped and stupid as we moved from a beautiful property we had completely done up and was perfect for us but I was depressed and ‘decided it was my old home was giving me bad luck’, in hindsight I realised I badly needed a holiday not to move! However, like you I can’t go back and undo my mistake unfortunately. What I’ve done is had a 6ft fence put all around my garden for privacy and so I don’t feel I’m being watched by nosy neighbours which we were before. We have a huge tree in the neighbours garden which will probably fall on our house at some point but I’m fed up arguing with the stupidity of a neighbour who won’t listen that it’s dangerous and needs felling. I now haven’t the money to do the property up like I used to have so have cut corners so to speak by having the glass units changed instead of the actual double glazing and the cheapest boiler put in which needed replacing. I’m trying to create my own little peaceful oasis just for the time being until I can move again. I suggest you do similar with your garden, 6ft fencing and plenty of taller plants to give you a peaceful view and keep nosy neighbours out. Tell yourself it will only be for a year or two. Spend wisely on the property just to tart it up for selling but so you don’t spend money and leave to someone else. You’re buying it so you won’t lose and will be amazed how a lick of paint, new fence and some nice hedges or plants will make it eye catching to your next buyer. Remember you have a roof over your head, some do not and it’s not the end of the world, in 5 years hopefully you’ll look back and think ok I made a mistake but that phase is over. Try looking for a couple of positive things about it as that will give good motivation when you eventually put it back up for sale. Good luck.

@NattyLilacLeader

i am so sorry to hear about your DH & your house situation xx but with your positive attitude I'm sure you'll do well I wish you all the best xx

So, having been forced into a shitty living situation previously, I’d focus on what you CAN do.
You know you want to move again already so get your game face on. You were sold a turkey by someone who it sounds knew that was the case but kept their mouth shut and didn’t complain to anyone needing a declaration on selling.
Record every element of ASB from vile neighbour. If you report this to the council etc you will have to declare when selling. If they’re committing drug offences you can report this to the police anonymously. As I understand it, this is not something you have to declare.
Ignore the bloody trees bar usual maintenance - your DH was an idiot to tell the seller not to deal with it but unless that recorded somewhere.
List everything wrong with the house and tackle the small stuff, room by room as you can: even if you list immediately, you won’t sell immediately so do try to make improvements, however small. Focus on things that will improve your day to day life first as unless they’re really spurious, they’ll also improve the value.
When you put the house back on the market be aware that a flip sale is likely to raise questions from buyers - when I bought I was immediately suspicious of any house that had been owned for less than a couple of years. One it turned out was a heating money pit despite what its (later discovered to be fake) EPC said. One had been cut into five bedrooms with a shit loft conversion with no insulation and despite what the agent said, actually had no building regs (second viewing with a builder in tow picked that up), one we happened to view at precisely the time of day the waterworks released sewage into the watercourse 20m from the property boundary (no they’re not supposed to but it happens because the fine is less than their costs). That one was particularly bad. So be ready to field that very uncomfortable question.
I sympathise because house buying/selling is a total shitshow at best, so to move and find yourself in the nightmare example is just bloody awful. Muddle as best you can then look to move.

Felling trees can make subsidence worse! Suddenly having no roots or takeout water where there was before can destabilise the area. Most times reducing the tree is the best option as it won’t then increase in size.

she want more light - if she doesn’t actually know its subsidence and caused by your trees.

reduce the crown if you want - or wait until you are compelled to take action.

And so what if previous owners offered to fell? You don’t want to so what are they gonna do?

peopel seem so obsessed with felling trees. It’s a compulsion.

How does that scheme work?

Well after reading all the comments I tried to look for the positives that was until I had to phone the police as the awful neighbour was screaming at her kids (again) and shouted to one of them that if he didn’t go away she was going to stomp on his head. It’s just unbelievable.
not sure what happens now but she is obviously going to be aware a neighbour called.
its social housing so I doubt she’s going anyway anytime soon. My kids are scared of her and wev never even seen her (she is on an estate that’s garden backs on to our garden)

Don"t get involved with the neighbours anymore, you have to disclose complaints, wait until 12 months then get it on the market, as someone said tell buyers you are moving for work, the details are none of their business but have something ready to say if they ask "Oh, Where?" or similar, you are not going to be happy here, be prepared to take a price hit to get out (it will be worth it) Good Luck!

I think it’s too late now to be advising not to complain because I’m sure contacting the police about the neighbours being anti-social counts as a dispute and therefore you have to disclose this on the property information form. It’s a horrible situation and I agree you’re likely going to be taking a financial hit if you do sell.

I contacted the council and they basically said I can’t make an anonymous complaint so I will have to either put it in writing or give my name and address over the phone.
so if I do then il have to declare it when/ if we move. It just keeps getting worse.
awful neighbour is currently blasting music (ok it is only Friday evening but I know how this goes..)
im in tears whenever I think about it - my husband said we can’t afford to move especially if we don’t make any money from this house

I've been in your shoes and it's soul destroying when you have truly antisocial neighbours.

The house that backed on to me was owned by an out-of-area housing association, but never any issues until the problem woman from hell and feral kids moved in. I eventually had to phone the police after drunken screaming into the early hours turned into the teen daughter screaming she'd been hurt. The police came out but the woman was screaming in the garden for weeks after about "f-ing nosey neighbours". I ended up formally reporting to their HA after the asb escalated, despite me trying to have a conversation with them, and also involved a poor dog being left out barking and upset night and day in all weathers, which then made their behaviour worse because the HA didn't really want to get involved, beyond 'having a word' but then the woman knew it was me who'd complained. As a woman living alone -and not used to slanging matches with neighbours!- I was an easy target for their shitty behaviour. I wasn't really in a position to move as part way through renovations but life became so miserable I started looking into property auctions to see how quickly I could sell.

But then, despite being in a nice house in a decent area on a HA tenancy, which you'd think must be the golden ticket of renting, the hell tenants actually ended up trashing their house and disappeared suddenly. I think drug stuff was involved. So although it might feel like they'll be there forever, it isn't necessarily so.

In your position now I'd not go to the council (unless other neighbours are similarly affected and willing to join a complaint so they're more likely to take seriously) but give yourself a target, say 12 months, to either see how it pans out fully and if still grim then take the hit on a move. Your mental health is worth more than a house price.

I'm sorry you're going through this, it's really unfair that families like this can affect others lives so badly.

I was just thinking of OP potentially going down the auction route as the PP above initially looked into. Also there’s one of the ‘we buy any house’ companies to sell to, which would be drastic but needs may have to must.

Agree with a lot of the comments about finding ways to solve the listed issues.

Regarding schools - our child is starting school this sept & actually schools have been extending their catchment areas out for the last 2-3 years because of the low birth rate. A handful of schools actively spoke about this during our tours with them. Maybe chat to any good schools near you now & check if it is the same in your area?

Those companies could probably sell it but it will be a large loss for the OP probably.

We couldn’t afford to do the sell fast companies- they offer about 70% market price I think.
there is no way I could convince husband to move for a loss, this is already my fault I can’t make it worse. Although I can see this being the thing to break us, I can’t moan to him because I was the one who forced this move, he was happy where we were. Now this house is awful and I can see it. He is so angry with me as he said he only went ahead with it because he thought I loved it regardless of its faults.
The interior can be sorted I know that but we are going to have to look into the cracks and damp, nothing was picked up in the survey but can we somehow claim from the buyers? We just don’t have the funds to sort it.
same problem with the trees, I asked our neighbour who said the previous owners used to pay for a tree surgeon to cut them and it would cost over a grand, what the hell. Can we go back to sellers and see if their offer still stands or have we missed the boat?
im desperate

Op, you can make an anonymous report about the neighbour to NSPCC, which you wouldn't have to declare

OP, your vendors aren’t going to stump up £££ to sort out a tree problem in a property they no longer own.

The survey is not their issue either. Presumably you engaged the surveyors and paid for the survey? In which case their contract is with you. You need to read their T&Cs and check which type of survey you commissioned. A basic homebuyer’s report may not cover hidden damp and cracks, but if these things were obvious, then they may be liable for your losses. Either way you’d need to take legal advice, which I appreciate has other costs attached, and the amount you could ultimately recover may not warrant starting down this path.

I’m so sorry you’re feeling trapped in a horrible situation. It’s worth trying to break all the issues down into different elements - literally list out all the smaller jobs and actions against each one that can help you move forward towards ultimately selling. At the moment it seems like maybe you’re (understandably) mashing all this together in your head so it feels like one huge hopeless problem that’s completely out of your control, so you need to do everything you can to take yourself out of that spiral and regain some sense that you can influence your own outcomes.

Btw, water penetration IME can often look much worse than it actually is. Just a gutter that’s blocked or moved out of alignment, or a slipped roof tile can cause damp that looks catastrophic, but they’re actually relatively cheap and quick things to remedy. Even if it’s an internal plumbing issue, it doesn’t necessarily mean it’ll cost a fortune to put right - it could be a simple as slipped knuckle joint. Do you know any tradespeople who might be able to give you a bit of advice?

Agree completely. We had a blocked gutter [leaves] and ended up with water pouring through a flat roof where it joined the house. Joyous evening in the pouring rain. It's a really common cause of damp and clearing out the gutters is where to start. Then wait for it to dry out inside, bit of stain cover paint and a fresh coat over.

If it's under a bathroom, then get the side off the bath and take a look, the smell of damp will often lead you to the source. We had a loose join under a bath, with one of those pull out shower heads - when it retracted over time it loosened up a connector.

Cracks - is it where new work/plaster was done or something else? It's not uncommon to get settlement cracks with new plaster up to a year after. If they never sorted and repainted that's a quick if tedious job to sort. If it's an old house, the same really but for very wide cracks your survey should have flagged any concerns.

I feel your pain. It is soul destroying and horrible being in a place that should be safe and calm and it's just the opposite.
.. been here 6 years and in a hole we can't get out of with things going wrong and big time wrong as in whole new roof wrong.. right now I have water coming in under the windows... in a timber frame house so wood holds it up and wet wood = rotten house!

My neighbours are not great but I have had worse. Right now, I would take that to get away from this place.

Why don"t you just put it on the market for the price you paid and see what happens, would your husband move if you break even? Put your energies into finding a new place to live, stop focussing on what the neighbours are doing.

We couldn’t afford to do the sell fast companies- they offer about 70% market price I think.
You would be mad to do this.

there is no way I could convince husband to move for a loss, this is already my fault I can’t make it worse. Although I can see this being the thing to break us, I can’t moan to him because I was the one who forced this move, he was happy where we were. Now this house is awful and I can see it. He is so angry with me as he said he only went ahead with it because he thought I loved it regardless of its faults.
All you can do is apologise and say what you've said here. In retrospect you had rose tinted glasses about the huge amount of extra space and should have looked harder. But that together you need to make a plan - either in it for the longish haul, or a tactical retreat with a view to a quick smarten up and an exit. If you can sell for the same, and take the hit on stamp duty you could perhaps add that to your new mortgage.
In the meantime, is there anything you can do like start on the work yourself around work/kids? Get a side hustle so you can fund changes? Get a lodger if you have a suitable room away from the kids? Rent a space on the driveway. Ebay a kidney ? 😄

The interior can be sorted I know that but we are going to have to look into the cracks and damp, nothing was picked up in the survey but can we somehow claim from the buyers? We just don’t have the funds to sort it.
No you can't. Buyer beware. Your surveyor perhaps if there are issues they should have flagged and didn't.

same problem with the trees, I asked our neighbour who said the previous owners used to pay for a tree surgeon to cut them and it would cost over a grand, what the hell. Can we go back to sellers and see if their offer still stands or have we missed the boat?
You've missed the boat, I'm sorry. I suspect that your neighbour is either elderly or irritatingly persistent. You are under no obligation to remove or cut down the trees unless they are dangerous. They can remove overhanging branches and if you also want to do some work you could offer to cover some of the cost. BUT, no is a complete sentence. So is "we don't have the funds to do that right now and it's not a priority for us. Perhaps in a year or two. You are welcome to cut back any overhanging branches if you wish." They'll get the message.

im desperate
In the dark and dreary days of January it's easy to have things get on top of you. I'm really sorry you are regretting this so much but try to focus on what is going to make you feel more in control. If the decision is out asap then you need a plan to get the house on the market by Easter so you are hopefully in a new home by September/Christmas. That's three months to sort out the repair niggles, declutter ruthlessly, freshen up the paint and power wash the drive/create kerb appeal. Then you need to spin a yarn to an EA, ideally get an open day booked with the EA, arrange a surprise day out for the noisy neighbours to coincide, and get it all moving. Plus find a new home and schools.

So how do people think OP and her husband can successfully navigate prospective buyers being put off by the disclosure on the property information form?