Regret buying this stupid house

[Cantbelieveididit]

Not sure what I’m even looking for other than to vent.
I have bought a house and it was a terrible mistake.
I have financially pushed myself to the limit so haven’t got extra cash to do all the things I didn’t realise needed doing to improve things.
I bought the house 4months ago- had a survey done and nothing was flagged so can’t even blame that and we viewed it twice.
since moving in I’ve realised the neighbours directly behind are horrible and noisy- music blasting, screaming at their kids and arguing at 2am with a constant smell of weed.
Neighbour next door is a grumpy old man who is constantly looking over the fence and will only acknowledge my husband. School catchment is awful.
Another neighbour seems to have issues with the trees at the bottom of the garden, before we completed the previous owners through the solicitors said they were going to fell them due to a neighbour worrying about them, my husband stupidly said no don’t cut them. Now it looks like she’s investigating for subsidence due to foliage around her property (our trees and another neighbours it seems) .. nothing official yet so again previous owners didn’t have to do anything , they did cut them yearly I think, the other neighbour didn’t.
when we bought the house I couldn’t believe our luck- it was so cheap and thought it was the dream house.. new kitchen, massive driveway and garden, 5 bedrooms… now I realise why.
why was I so stupid to think we were getting a bargain.
how soon can we put it up for sale?

Don't live next door to old folk?

What happens if they sneakily move in after you? You're stuck then.

If school catchment is important then surely that would have been a key factor in your search and not overlooked before buying?

The other stuff you can take steps to live with….but if schools are important then suck up the cost of this mistake and sell up.

Firstly subsidence issues can be covered by house insurance, yours and theirs. Unless you bought the house knowing there's an issue, it shouldn't have been excluded. Check your policy, what's covered and when it is due for renewal. If they have subsidence and the trees are the cause, you will get some sort of legal letter to sort it. Your insurance should then cover the cost of dealing with it if needed. In the meantime, if they are problematic, now is the perfect time of year to get the tree surgeons in to do a decent hair cut that will last a few years when there is no foliage and you can put the timber somewhere to burn when it's seasoned. Lots of new growth will come in the spring and be less scarecrow like.

Make a plan for the garden and act on it. Trellis and jasmine as someone has said is your friend for grumpy and nosy neighbours. Post on gardening here for the best noise and pollution absorbing planting to deal with the other arseholes. With a bit of planning you could do the work by Easter and it will be leafed up by the mid summer. It's much easier to forego even the smallest of luxuries when you can see the funds in a savings account starting to grow a little.

Catchments - we moved house when our kids were 4 & 7. The catchment was terrible for secondary. The same school is now rated outstanding. Local parents got involved, the MP sorted out some extra funding, a new head and 5 years down the line it's unrecognisable.

You don't say anything about the actual house? Other than funds? Get off social media unless it is to watch people doing it on a shoestring. The last thing you want to be watching is American's decorating their barn of a utility room for Christmas. That's enough to make Princess Catherine feel a bit hard done by. Make a 5 year plan with your other half. What's the priority for quick fix, big investments to be saved for and how can you both do it? Will holidays have to be sacrificed for a few years - or made distinctly more economical. The nice thing is that when your kids are little, holidays at home are far more relaxing. Meals out and a babysitter and you'll feel like a new person.

Sounds like a bit of buyers remorse that will naturally ease. Though school catchment sounds like the biggest issue here and is 100% on you.

remember even if you buy another house there’s no guarantee the new place won’t have problem neighbours and hidden issues with a less nice kitchen. With all the moving fees to ay again too.

if you’re feeling stressed and stretched look to improve your budgeting and make some tough cuts. Don’t look to spend more!

A good house in a poor area ?

'Don't live next to old folk'? Why? What do you do; sell up the day your neighbour turns fifty? Sixty? When do all 'old' people become unbearable neighbours?
Ridiculous.

If it’s not right, put it back on the market. Shortest we stayed anywhere was 198 days! Literally moved in on 14 September and moved out 31 March! We didn’t have any problems selling it as it was a lovely house but it just wasn’t right for us

School catchment is easy - find a school you like outside the catchment area. Even if you don't get offered a place straight away places usually come free before or just into September IMO, I have always managed to wangle places in great schools.

Bear with it OP, do some decorating to make the house feel like your own and try to find humour in grumpy git and warring weed smokers.

We've got a sneaky, nosy old git who peeps around a slightly open door everytime we're in the garden and takes every chance to spy /listen into convos.
Don't fancy OP's weedy neighbours though.

my elderly neighbour uses pot for her chronic pain!

Fwiw, it’s pretty normal to have regret at this stage, because change is hard. When you view a house, you don’t ever know the reality of living there. It takes time to work out what you can get used to, what you can change and what isn’t a problem, just different. Give it 12 months.

My DS had buyers remorse when he moved a cottage in a little village from a large town, the week they moved in there was a flood and they had to put in a claim for a new kitchen and bathroom, they then met the neighbours when their tiler went through to their room next door by being too heavy handed removing tiles etc, so tense relationships. My DS used to drive by his old home and said he thought he had made a massive mistake, but move on 2 years and they love their cottage, they have new neighbours and a lovely new kitchen and bathroom. I hope you can move past this and the house you bought soon feels more like your dream home.

Our first house was like this - lots of work not picked up by survey and then costs of everything else went up making stuff we were expecting to do harder to afford.

Then neigbour one side wanted us to replace what turned out to be their fence - said it wasn't a priority - fence was standing fine - that caused her to take against us and make life as hard as possible. They had council out saying our large fir tree was causing subsidence and our deciduous tress were blocking their guttering. Was in garden with washing when man came and lauged at them - they were end of road and had three other gardens backing on one side and another garden at back all of who had closer trees firs as well- and deciduous trees they could do nothing about.

It was a relief to move eventually and get away from endless pettyness. Though year after our move they moved on as well.

The catchment for primary was fine - secondary went downhill. When we moved looked at secondary catchmennts picked a decent rising one - two years into school for eldest next one about to start it all went to complete pot and pretty much entire time second child was there it was in special measures though wasnlt really better when it left and had youngest still there.

We couldn't move so made the best we could - took 7 years before we could move and hadn't realised the toll on my mental health till we were in new house.

Terrible neighbours make you miserable. You have to decide if the noise they create is too persistent to be tolerable.

visit the school, talk to parents, read the inspection reports and decide if it really is terrible.

The neighbours and the school are the things you have no control over, so they are the deciding factor as to whether you move.

Sorry to hear you're feeling this way OP! I think everyone gets slight buyers remorse at a certain stage with houses, they all have quirks and issues that come out a few months after buying and they never feel quite right for a bit.... I wouldn't panic and take each issue at a time. Sounds like the trees just need cutting, so do that, it'll be cheap and fairly straightforward. Noisy neighbours are annoying but can you soundproof in any way, secondary glazing or planting? A grumpy or nosey old man is standard neighbour fodder and honestly, a lot better than most people have, so I suspect that's just bothering you because you're feeling down about the house.
I wouldn't worry about the catchment until you need to, schools go up and down in desirability, children develop and need different things, circumstances change. We moved here so they could walk to an outstanding high school. Ds is now in year 5 and the school isn't outstanding, we hate the head, he has SEN which the school has a bad reputation for and dh has a totally different job now, so we will likely go private to ensure he gets what he needs. Total waste of house search tick box requirements!
Take a deep breath, do whatever you need to do short term to cope and avoid any official disputes either neighbours. Once you've decorated, feel at home etc you'll like it more. If in 18 months you still hate it and can't live there, then look at selling, but if you go too soon people will want to know why! With 5 bedrooms you can't really say that it's too small/outgrown either.

I made a terrible mistake with a flat once. The day I moved in I knew I didn't want to stay. I sold it a few months later and moved to where I live now. I've been here 20+ years and it was absolutely the right decision.

Yes, it costs money. More legal and estate agent fees. Yes, it's a royal pain in the arse moving again and yes, people thought I was being ridiculous. All of that was forgotten the day I moved in. It was worth the money and the ball ache to find a home, not just a flat.

You have to be happy OP. It's you that has to live this life, not us. You know yourself best and what you can realistically tolerate. Hope you find a solution one way or another ❤

I don't think it would be wise to move before a year is up as people will automatically think there is something wrong. Whatever you do, do not report the noisy neighbours to the council as you will have to declare any neighbour disputes when you sell, and that will immediately put people off. Having experienced nightmare neighbours ourselves, we make a point now of knocking on neighbours' doors before putting on an offer and asking them about the area. That way, you can see what they are like and can directly question them about noise levels from other neighbours. Regarding the school catchment, that really is something you should check out beforehand. You might get used to it all after a year but if not, then put it back on the market and just make something up like you have been offered a job abroad or been made redundant or something.

My current house is my wtf-did-we-buy-it home.

From the moment our offer was accepted I wanted to back out, but we were desperate having sold and living with family and it's actually an amazing house, in a desirable area with absolutely everything we need within easy access.

But l couldn't shake the feeling. And about 6 months after we moved in, our narcissistic neighbour started a 12 month reign of terror that only ended because he was arrested for missing court due to council action.

We will stay a few more years due to dc schooling, but everyday when I step outside my front door I'm reminded that my intuition was right and I should have listened.

Perhaps he's lonely, perhaps he's got MH issues, perhaps he's got a sad history of some sort.
Clearly you aren't every grown up yet and haven't accepted parents/elderly folk who might one day become "difficult" or "different"
You make allowances, you compartmentalise, "water off a ducks back" scenario.

You wouldn't dare say such derogatory comments about neuro diverse people but its ok to say it about the elderly. Shame on you!

Rather than a grumpy young man?

Really? Why?
Older people are 'around' all day and make you paranoid about making any noise. I'd much prefer someone who was out at work all day, certainly felt that way when my children were very small.

We bought a bungalow in an area of bungalows, next door were lovely but nobody else spoke to us for over 6 months: this might be good for some but not for us. We were moving from a long way and had to stay overnight in an hotel. We were talking about the new place saying it wasn't ideal. Also, we decided that the best outcome would be that it would have an electrical fault and would burn down overnight without any of our belongings in it but insured.

That didn't happen but we made it our own and also made it larger. Most of the original neighbours died or moved away, so the whole area changed. We were there about 15 years in the end and it was fine, not really lovely but ok.

Life’s too short, if you feel this way now it will never change. You’ll never love it. Get ready to sell strategically when time is right. You got caught.

Op, as far as neighbours are concerned, you can be lucky or unlucky. We had lovely neighbours who , and were replaced by weed-smokers. I’d second the PP who said out up trellis - then plant a white passion flower and white evergreen clematis- they grow quite quickly and will completely obscure the trellis if you encourage them in that direction. Your other neighbour can investigate for subsidence all she likes - how far from hers are your trees? If they’re at the bottom of the garden, they won’t be encroaching on her house. It’s much more likely she wants you to cut them down for light/because she’s nosy/ because she doesn’t like them. The only thing I’d be worried about is the school catchment area - I’d be researching other schools if you’re not happy about your DC’s current establishment, and getting them onto a waiting list.