Hi all, would love some help from a load of mums please. We are moving house, relocating away from very suburban Surrey. We have a 21 month old and a baby due in March. After a year of thorough research and several Airbnb stays, we have narrowed it down to the village of Sway in the New Forest or Tetbury/Malmesbury/Cirencester area. We don’t have family in either area although my in-laws are in Gloucester (not super helpful in a practical sense but good at entertaining the kids if we need to go out briefly and would also be good at cuddling the baby so that I could have some 1 on 1 time with my toddler). My parents visit the new forest quite often as they have friends there and they have a boat in Southampton that they like to use to visit Lymington.
We’ve found a house that we like in both Sway and Malmesbury. The Sway house has a really wonderful garden, a good size for kids to play even as they get older and it fulfils a dream of mine to teach the kids how to grow fruit and veg and to have a surface pool for all these hot summers we’ve been having. The Malmesbury house itself is better in accommodation and condition however the garden is quite small, about half what we are used to, only 10m x 10m and surrounded by lots of other houses as it’s on a large estate.
The main issue behind not being able to decide is that when we stayed in Sway for a week, other than at the baby group I went to one day, I didn’t see any other young families at all. I spent a day alone with my toddler when my husband tried the commute into work and I felt really quite lonely. It was a slightly drizzly day on and off to be fair, but I didn’t see anyone else at the playground, no one under the age of 70 at the local cafe and not even really anyone on the pavements to say hello to. We did drive to the beach in the afternoon but it took 25 minutes. I enquired about play cafes or soft plays on a local Facebook group but most of the recommendations were 30 mins drive away. We tried a walk into the forest and my toddler screamed when we dragged him out of the car park where there were ponies and then wanted to be carried home, it was not the idyllic walk I’d hoped for! I also worry about how often we’ll actually make it there with the toddler in a buggy and the new baby and I can’t help that feel that a play cafe like the ones we have in Surrey would be a much easier way to solo parent two little kids. I’m sure when the kids are older they’d get more out of it and maybe I’d get used to having to drive further distances for any activities, but I’m quite worried about feeling lonely, trapped and bored over the next few years. In Surrey if my toddler is driving me mad we can jump in the car and be at 3 different play cafes within 10 minutes and whatever time of day you go to the local garden centre you’re guaranteed to see other mummies and kids.
In Tetbury and Malmesbury we saw mummies and kids everywhere, the playground always had people on it and socialising. There seem to be lots of things to do and you can drive to either of those 3 towns in only 10-20 mins so more options in each town. When we stayed there, I just felt more comfortable somehow. But the gardens are so small and I worry I’ll feel trapped there too! Life would be so easy in the Malmesbury house we’ve found as it’s so well laid out for family life and it’s also much cheaper than the New Forest house so would take a lot of pressure off financially.
Staying in Surrey unfortunately isn’t an option because we just can’t afford the mortgage we’d need for the sort of house we want on a single salary. We’ve had to sell our beloved house because our finances were just falling too short of our outgoings and never want to end up at risk ever again.
Would love any advice, especially from parents who have moved to a small village in a rural area with young kids. Thank you so much!