Moved 5 days ago and feel regret

[Nosirrah87]

Sorry in advance for the long post.

My DH and I lived in our last house for 9 years. We had many reasons for wanting to move – busy and congested ‘access only’ street not only used as a rat run but also served a primary school; horrible neighbours at the rear with barking dogs; the extensive development next door which changed our outlook and impacted on our privacy (we objected to the plans, which affected neighbourly relations, but the Council approved them anyway); lack of space as we now both WFH … to name just a few.

We had a terrible time with the house selling/buying process, and it took us a year from first listing to eventually moving. We lost 3 buyers along the way for a range of reasons, but our 4th buyer stuck. It also took us some time to find a new house. The house we chose was the best we had seen, in a familiar area, that ticked a lot of boxes. I was really excited about it. I felt like this was the house we had been waiting for.

We moved last Friday, and it was on Saturday that I started to feel awful. The things that I thought wouldn’t bother me are now bothering me. For example, I was aware that we would be one of the first few houses serving a big cul-de-sac, meaning we would experience some traffic, but it feels as though the volume of traffic is similar to the last place. I can hear the cars in different rooms in the house, and the main part of the garden (it’s a wraparound garden) backs onto the road. I also hadn’t noticed the potential to feel very overlooked if the garden hadn’t of been landscaped in such a way (trees blocking neighbouring windows, etc).

What makes me most depressed is how dark the house is – we moved from a house facing NE-SW with huge windows and lots of light at all times of the day. Our new house is N-S facing with smaller windows. A lot of rooms in the house (even some S facing rooms) are very dark because of the way the house has been constructed. The entrance hallway gets hardly any natural light, so the house isn’t very welcoming when you first step inside. Some rooms need the lights on constantly, and I’m feeling very down about it. We could cut back some of the trees to encourage more light inside in some areas, but we would then be very overlooked. I’m asking myself whether the grey gloomy weather is contributing to a lack of light (but some rooms are still getting a lot of light!).

I’m not sure whether my feelings will improve in time or whether we’ve made a mistake. I’ve cried every day since. My DH gets angry with me every time I start crying and keeps reminding me of why we moved and chose this house. I’m not pining for my old house as such, and I know why we moved/chose this house, but I’m just seeing challenges to overcome and don’t know if I will. I feel so guilty for being the main driver behind this move and now feeling very unhappy.

Has anyone experienced similar feelings with it all working out in the end?

I felt very down the day we got our keys and looked at our house again. It looked like it needed so much more work than initially thought, and definitely more cleaning than I'd anticipated, and then the next door neighbour started to play music very loud and I thought what have we done!? It was a drab, wet Friday afternoon and just felt wrong.
The next day was a bright sunny one and when I took my mum around it felt so much more positive.
Our house too faces north south, well N,NWand S,SE. Our living room faces south and is bright but gets far too hot. The kitchen faces north and is much darker but much cooler which is great for a kitchen. We are near a corner (at the natural acceleration point) and get lots of drivers zooming past.
But having been here 8 years now, it is much better. I wish there were things I could change but we would need to win the lottery to buy somewhere that solves those issues, but for the most part we are happy here.
I hope you remember why you decided on buying your new place @Nosirrah87 and start to get excited about any plans you have for it to make it home.

You’ve had a tough year with the process and moving is very stressful.

We had the same and I felt very low once we were in. Just shattered, especially as we came across unknown issues once in.

We’re 6 months in now and I love my home. I hope you grow to love yours too.

but I’m just seeing challenges to overcome and don’t know if I will.

im sure you will with most of those challenges

and also give yourself a break - change is challenging, even good change. It takes time to adjust and you're feeling emotional

as more and more people swap to electric cars - the noise will reduce.

Darker more north facing rooms can be painted to make feel brighter

Moving house is one of the most stressful things you will ever do. We bought our house after searching for a year. Within two days, we discovered we had rats in our attic. I honestly thought I was going to have a nervous breakdown. I probably sound dramatic but as we just moved in, we didn’t know how big of a problem we had. It really took the shine of the house and I began to regret it. I called Rentokil to my house, sent my dog into every room to ‘investigate’ before I went in. I was afraid to sleep in case I woke up to one looking at me. I hated my house for a few weeks until we resolved the problem. What also helped me to fall in love with my house was to make it my own. Decorating to our tastes. New paint colours. There are ways of brightening up dark rooms.

We moved from a Town House, with 4 bedrooms,3 toilets.Low crime rate.We moved after 14 years.The house was overlooked, in a cul de sac.Fed up of people parking on our driveway.Children running up & down the driveway.Adults next door banging doors or looking over the fences.Screaming kids unsupervised. When I left I felt a sense of relief.We had to as we were due to retire.We now live in a Victorian 2 bedroom terrace.The area is not great.When I first moved in I thought it was a big mistake.The house needed a lot of TLC.We are making a effort to turn the house into a home.I made a list of all the things that I did not like.Little by little the house although still needs attention,I can see that I can live here.With some adjustments.Hopefully you can see the positives of your new home.It's normal after moving to just look at the negatives.It really calls for a big emotional & physical adjustment.Which if you can adapt to your new life,gets easier & you can turn it into a home!

It was simultaneously rougher and easier than I was expecting 😂 I wouldn’t choose to do it again!

I have noticed a lot of new houses have very small windows and I hate them. I’ve said to my husband that you’d have to keep the lights on a lot which would add to the bills. I’d definitely trim the trees a bit.

Take a breath. It sounds like you had some very good reasons to move, and those stressors are now behind you. This is a new start.

The weather has been absolutely terrible the last few days, the lack of light will be hugely impacted by the lack of sun in the sky. The trees will lose their leaves soon and then you can assess if they need cutting.
You could also look into adding light tunnels (I can't link an example, but you can google it).

As for the traffic, I live on a road of 7 houses and still get cars back and forth all day long, I don't know if that's comforting or not, but it seems you have to move to a rural property to avoid car noise.

Give it some time. Be kind to yourself. I think you'll be ok once you're a bit more settled.

Is it possible to build a window in? French windows? Change the porch (if you have one) to pure windows. Build a sun room. Not sure OP, but is there any way of getting more light in.

It's also early days, you house is still probably full of boxes, not sure where anything goes.