Too late for upgraded house move?

[Cortisolina]

I’m 48, DH is mid-50s but in that classic London way, we had DC quite late. We have one early teen DC and a late primary DC.

I realise we are hugely fortunate and privileged to own a house but I’m afraid it doesn’t stop me feeling meh and that we should have taken more risks and traded up when we had the chance.

This isn’t the house I dreamed of when I was growing up and I can’t help kicking myself that we didn’t upsize areas and house when we had the time and possibly finances (and low interest rates!) to do so.

When I read other threads on here, it seems people just a couple of years older than me are downsizing. Meanwhile many friends have just finished wonderful renovations or have moved to lovely homes (thanks sadly to inheritances or rapid promotions).

We are probably now too old to upgrade, DC would be hit with IHT before long and that makes me feel a bit depressed.

There are no real excuses except that we waited too long, were vaguely satisfied and we skipped the small house stage to move straight to a medium sized house. We prioritised paying off a mortgage (STUPID move).

Pros of staying in our house:
We have always liked our area and street - super transport links, beautiful housing stock, nice neighbours, park within easy walking distance.
Prices are high as it’s London but for the size and proximity to Zone 1, they’re cheaper than comparable areas.
Easy commute for one DC school, just about bearable for other.
Commutable to potential workplaces.
Close to good areas.
Nothing bad structurally.
Nice period features.
No extra mortgage

Cons of staying put:
I’m bored of our house. We have lived here for the best part of 20 years! We could redecorate but don’t think this would fix the things that I want to change - more living space, wider footprint, bigger garden. Can’t extend further and not worth it.
No offstreet parking.
Slower capital growth as it is worth less than more ‘known’ areas.
Feels less safe than area I would want to move to.
If we ‘upsize’ value wise now, it might give us more options when we retire in a decade and can sell a more valuable property.
On the other hand, if AI continues to wipe out professional jobs and if governments continue to deter well off foreigners, there won’t be anyone to sell the more expensive house to.
DC will still be at home for 6-8 more years.

I have always eyed a more expensive area that isn’t as conveniently located but is more leafy.

I know we should count our blessings but I hate feeling like is this as good as it gets. It’s definitely a head over heart hormonal rant and I apologise in advance to those who can only dream of being homeowners in this messed up economy.

Crikey OP. You’re late 40s, not late 70s! Move to the area you covet. Enjoy your life.

I'm 70 in 3 weeks and my DH is 78 this year and we're in the process of buying a house with a bigger garden which I've always wanted.

Fuck it all @Cortisolina . Even if I only get 5 years of it I'll garden the heck out of it while I'm still standing. I can't wait!

All depends whether you and hubster want to carry on working until god knows when. Do the calculations of how much it would cost over 10 years to get what you want.

we moved from a house where we had a 40k mortgage to one that has a 275k mortgage when dh and i were 52

dh is really pleased we made the move even though we had to spend a small fortune making it more to our taste and updated!

The IHT point is largely irrelevant...

DC inherits a house worth £1M when you both pass - assuming no other assets and the first person to die passes everything to the surviving spouse. - no IHT , DC gets £1M.

If the house is valued at £1.3M - they get £1M no IHT and pay IHT on the remaining - they still get more...

You hopefully have many many years to enjoy your home.
You seem weirdly defeatist tbh.
Move if you can afford it and enjoy it.

We're 50s/ early 60s and moving to a more expensive house with land which we've always wanted somewhere we've always wanted. Because we're not dead yet.

Everyone will have a different opinion about this. I'm 51. I do fantasy house buying around here cos our mortgage is paid off but there are a couple of niggles with this house but for the next house up it's like a hundred grand more, all the hassle of buying and selling, moving, stamp duty, just way more stress and money than would be worth it.

I'm really glad we decided to stay put. We have 2 away at university and helping them financially through that has proven to be very costly. Plus we like to visit them and make weekends of it and that can add up too, with petrol, hotel costs, meals out etc. But THOSE costs are all worth it to me. If we had moved to a bigger house then all that money we spend on doing things like that would be eaten up on the house and we wouldn't have much money to do the nice family things.

One of my sons especially is unlikely to be moving back to our city when he graduates and he might even leave the country eventually. I want to have plenty of money to travel to visit both of my kids (and maybe to pay towards a deposit for their first property) I also plan to travel generally with DH when we retire. I don't want to sit in a big house and regret not having spare money to do all that stuff. I just want freedom to go where I want and do what I want while I can. There is plenty of time to sit in the house when I'm old.

I just don't want the hassle of maintenance on a bigger house and garden when we're going through our travelling stage as we get older, and then when we are not able to travel as much anymore, well, that's the point where a bigger house and garden might become a millstone round our neck. My parents as they got older had money to pay for gardeners, cleaners etc, in their 4 bed but we probably won't have. I wouldn't want to have to downsize at that point unless I really had to as I'd lose the feeling of "home" (we have been here 22 years) and it's just hassle to move when you're older and more infirm.

So we're staying put and I've completely stopped wondering if we should move house. And we're having a lovely time with money that would otherwise go on a mortgage. The thought that we are mortgage free still thrills me and it means we have more flexibiltiy over when we retire.

Move! You're still young (same ages as me and DH) and you have years ahead of you. We are in the process of moving to get a better garden and location.

The grass isn't always greener. Your house sounds perfect to me if I wanted to be in London.

The one caveat I would have is that if the area where we live started to feel unsafe. I would absolutely consider moving to a safer area for a bit of a mortgage even if it was a similar sized house.

These are all very good points.

OP, your house sounds nice. And in a good location.

what size is it?

It does sound a little bit like you’d be doing it out of boredom.

Do you really need more space?

Ah and that’s the problem @CurlyhairedAssassin . You’re only a smidgen older than me in years but had your DC at a more sensible age so they’ve flown the nest - even if it’s temporarily. I agree about not really wanting the hassle of maintenance on a huge house and garden. Our house is over 160 years old and every year something has to be updated/painted/fixed.

The problem with IHT is the London problem: our current house is probably worth about £1.5/6m as the market has slightly cooled in our area. If I want to upgrade both house AND area, sadly the place I am looking at means a huge jump up to at least £2.3m. I know this sounds crazy but if you’re in London you will know how nuts it is. That also means handing over I presume up to £200k in stamp duty. And then there’s the fact that even for the lower end of that price point, work will be needed as most of the places that come up in my target area are probates or families leaving after 40-50 years.

I wish we had done this ten years ago. By the time we do it and renovate, if we haven’t divorced we may be forced to downsize!

You’re right, I am BORED. That’s not reason enough to move given the huge expense @kitchentablegardentable . It’s in a great location but a little known one. I even found myself trying to convince a TV property star once that they should buy and renovate in our area!
It’s 2,200 square foot but only 50/60 foot garden. No career parking. Three floors and half landing. Tall and narrow ish. Semi and would prefer detached.

Similar situation, late 40's, had paid off mortgage on mediocre not forever home. Have been trying to find the right house since pre covid, couldn't afford what we wanted until now. Finally making the move. Our new mortgage is bigger than the one we had paid off and will take us past retirement age....except it won't as we can afford to overpay on current salaries.

The way I see it is my kids won't be leaving any time soon so I might as well upgrade and enjoy the space for the next 10 years.

“Great location but a little known one”….sounds good. And like property values could potentially rise sharply in the future.

it’s hard because previous posters are right in that you have to do what makes you happy.

But the financial freedom in staying put is a big thing.

Have you actually crunched the numbers as regards moving costs and stamp duty etc?

The numbers are horrendous @kitchentablegardentable . Stamp duty on 2.3m is 187k. And the ones I have really liked were more! I only started looking like the rest of the country during lockdown. And just before, when interest rates were low, we could have serviced a large interest only mortgage for about £1-1.5k a month. The plan was to ride the capital growth. That same mortgage is now £5k or so. While ‘little known but excellent’ area sounds great, everywhere else - has gone up faster. For example, a 10% rise on a £1.5m place is less for us to play with than the commensurate 10%rise on a 2.5m place. The gap has become too big especially with interest rates. There are a few investments we have taken a gamble on and that could potentially bridge that gap but I’m not sure it will work.

We’re in the same boat though the kids are five years older than yours. We decided to stay put a few years ago and those years have gone in a flash.

We’re now almost mortgage free at the point we’re forking out for expensive teenage stuff like driving lessons, and we’ll soon need to pay for universities.

I don’t love my house, it’s not what I dreamed of though it has many positives (mainly location) but we also really don’t need a bigger one and the kids don’t want to move. So… we’ll see out another handful of years here, which will also pass in a flash, then once the kids have flown the nest we will downsize and spend our early retirements doing whatever we damn please without the shackles of a big mortgage.

Well you.bought in London.so are presumably sat on a million opportunities!

You look up the ladders in London and think you are too late. But look at selling (when kids are in jobs) and if price differentials stay as they are the rest of the UK is your oyster!

But don't do it before the kids have jobs. They will have far more opportunities with access to London than many places. We are in Cornwall but there are very few careers here - and my two have had to move away for work.

How long have you lived in your house @strawlight? It will be about 24 years for us by the time the eldest finishes school! And 27 years by the time the youngest gets does. It just feels like a slog.

We don’t need bigger as such but I would like a better entertaining space and everyone I know has either upgraded or renovated more recently so their spaces are lovely and spark house envy!

I’m sure DH’s career has peaked sadly so he won’t be commanding this sort of salary for long. I just think we made a financial mistake by not leveraging more when we could.

I still don't see what the 'IHT problem' is. If you weren't spending more money on a house, would you not be putting the same amount of money into investments? Houses and investments are both liable for IHT.

Or would you just be spending it? Or were you thinking that rather than putting it all into a house, you would give some to your DC in early adulthood for them to buy property, and hope that you live for at least 7 years afterwards so the gifts don't fall within your estate?

I think in your circumstances and at the sort of price point you are talking about, the huge amount of stamp duty and all the other costs involved in a move would be what would make me think twice, unless you really are so bored that you want to take on an expensive renovation project.

@Feelingstrange2 That’s excellent and frank advice, thank you! Such a shame that some of the benefits of remote working have not become more permanent. Cornwall is lovely. I have a soft spot for Norfolk (but only the really expensive Royal Coast!) and Dorset. But not enough to uproot there. Ooh but also Herefordshire and bits of the Cotswolds which are a bit more commutable.

You raise a darn good question: where should we move to? We are not outdoorsy but love a nice view and walk! If visas and pensions were not an issue, I would decamp to Italy.

What do people think will happen to the expensive areas in London (no not Chelsea but the ones one or two tiers down?). Where are the buyers who have £2-£3m? A few years ago people could do it thanks to the asset bubble and low interest rates but now those things seem shaky and there isn’t the lure of London for foreign investors. Also, are the demographics not stacked against ever rising prices? With the more mature generation owning most of the premium properties and being so large in numbers, when they sadly die or go into care homes, who is going to be able to afford those homes? Genuinely want a demographer or economist to explain it to me!

We will.move too. Nowhere is perfect but our (extremely steep) hill and garden will be a challenge when we are elderly and the hospital is well over an hour away and no public transport to it.

One great thing about Cornwall though is we don't generally concern ourselves with what others have - unless it's parking! I live by a set of flats that sell for about £150k. Four houses away sold for 1.5m last year. We are probably about 500k but you never know as everything's unique.

We are about a 15-20 minute walk from a major hospital @Feelingstrange2. Was useful when we had a wheezy baby… Will no doubt be useful when we age. Darn it things like this make it harder to move!