Need inspo for our house.

[InNeedOfInspo]

Have been in our house for nearly 20 years. Me, husband, teen and dog.

We’re struggling to use it for everything we need to, with 2 of us working from home and hobbies etc. DH thinks the answer is a garden room, but I want to explore other options first.

Attached is the floor plan as it is now. In addition we have an extension on the back of a double garage that measures 4.5m x 3.5m and has a multipurpose room downstairs (currently a gym) with a shower room and an office upstairs with a sofa bed and an electric piano.

DH and I both work from home - him more or less 100% of the time and me 60% of the time. The desk in the extension is the only one with additional monitors so we end up fighting over it. I have a tiny standing desk at the back of the living room but can only fit a laptop on it.

We don’t have enough storage in the kitchen, so the dining room has become the overspill area, along with the utility room. We don’t sit to eat in the dining room, partly because it is cramped but mostly because our schedules mean we all end up eating at different times.

Upstairs I have Bed 1 and the en-suite, DD has bed 4 for sleeping, books and clothes and DH has bed 2. Again, this is due to schedules and everyone getting enough sleep. Bed 3 has DD’s toys, the family Lego, a desk and sofa bed. It’s mainly used by DD. DD and DH share the family bathroom.

We have too much stuff, and need to declutter and we need to replace the windows and doors within the next couple of years. This has led to a discussion about potential garden room (garden faces north so would take the only sunny spot) or extensions, and I’m thinking about internal layout as well.

We need a proper working space for me which is separate to the outside office. We need to house the musical
instruments more effectively and ideally together (at the moment there is a drum kit in the living room, piano in the office and smaller instruments in bedroom 3).

I would like a more functional kitchen and utility room with significant storage (the quote I had from a designer for kitchen, utility and dining room had 36 units).

We intend to stay in the house for at least another 10 years, possibly forever. Happy to spend money to make it work better for us but not so much that we never realise it at resale. We’ve biggest house on the street and the existing extension probably took us over the ceiling price.

I can’t help but think that with 3 of us in a relatively large house we shouldn’t need to extend or add a garden room
to achieve these objectives but I’m struggling to see what could be possible.

Any thoughts or ideas welcomed.

my son has adhd

given your dozens of very lengthy responses on this thread. Now well passing 70 (70!) and often very long. Would i be correct in thinking that you’ve become quite obsessed with this planning stage op?

I meant that there was a programme years ago where they put all the stuff from one room into the garden, then worked out what went back in.

The risk with an “out of sight” approach is that it gets forgotten completely. With the garden solution we could see impact in 1 day because the risk of rain would limit any procrastination!

Have I misunderstood how forums work?

no
but i think you’ve been utterly one track minded about this planning phase op.

80 long and detailed and repetitive posts

that will fizzle out if you don’t really try hard for it not to

We put in a garden room in the summer of 2019 and my husband uses it as his office. There’s a tiny room at the back that he uses for garden equipment but it could easily hold music instruments. He loves it especially as it provided additional space during lockdowns.

Sorry to have stayed on topic and clarified points in the hope of getting the help I asked for.

Should we instead debate the economy or the search for life on Mars?

Thank you. This is still a potential option but would need significant space for a drum kit and piano as well as an office.

would also mean giving up the sunniest spot in the (north facing) garden for it, which I’m torn about.

ok op

keep posting about how ideas won’t work and how your home is not actually all that cluttered

and then recall the thread in a years time when you’re looking at all the clutter and thinking about starting a thread about it

all i am saying is that i think you’re just delaying the “doing” part and by the time you get home this weekend and see the extent of what needs to be done… you’ll get bored of this thread and forget the idea.

i speak from experience with my son

and the only way to avoid is to actually think about ONE cupboard you will do this evening. Just ONE.

but you don’t want to think like that

so i think it’s all posters just wasting their time (and indeed you)

ok i really will bow out now!

You could spend tens of thousands of £ on re-configuring the house/garden rooms/storage. But then the stuff you already have will stay and it will continue to be added to until you and your family will be buried under a pile of things. It feels like you and your family need to tackle needing to have things in a very specific way which isn't practical and being unable to get rid of things. In saying you need to sort the house out as de-cluttering simply won't be happening, it feels like the real problems are being ignored.

If such a thing exists (and if it doesn't it should!) a professional de-clutterer who understands about ADHD and Autism would be great.

In saying you need to sort the house out as de-cluttering simply won't be happening, it feels like the real problems are being ignored.

where have I said that?

It feels like you’re just here to kick me, to be honest.

You think meds will help my daughter, contrary to medical opinion, but don’t care to share why you think that.

I can’t declutter a cupboard when I am 200 miles from it. I am home for 1 day this weekend and have appointments with DD from 9am till 4pm on Saturday but will try and find the energy and motivation to do something decluttery before I have to leave again at 7am on Sunday morning. I am going through my work diary today to find opportunities for time off at home for a more focused approach to it.

I am hearing everyone. We are going to need to replace windows and doors within the next 12 months. Aside from the clutter piece, which has been well and truly covered, only a handful of people have suggested practical things to achieve the basic aim of getting another suitable working space into the house, and a better functioning kitchen because I’ve hated this one for the best part of 20 years.

It’s clearly very easy for most people. We have some challenges here and all I wanted was some help to see if there were structural alternatives to building something else and losing the sunny bit of the garden. There’s no need to paint me as some sort of villain.

If such a thing exists (and if it doesn't it should!) a professional de-clutterer who understands about ADHD and Autism would be great.

My OCD and autistic sister is absolutely ruthless. Unfortunately she is awful with people and utterly unsympathetic to anyone else so we generally can’t spend more than about 20 minutes together.

I signed up for a trial of virtual body doubling last night which may be helpful.

You obviously live a nice life ( you work hard by the sounds of it so should enjoy it) but you aren't acknowledging that you have a LOT of luxuries and hobbies, far more than an average person and family.

You keep defending your rationale for why you are special and NEED everything on your list, but the reality is that most people have to choose between a gym OR a home office OR a music room OR a spare bedroom, and accept the resulting discomfort and inconvenience of their decision. You aren't getting much empathy on this thread because you keep pushing back on every suggestion along these lines.

No amount of tweaking the position of a wall is going to give you the space for all the hobbies and requirements you've listed on this thread. You say you have outgrown the space so the only options are:

1. Declutter so that you fit back in your current space
2. Prioritise your needs (e.g. DH needs secure storage for equipment for his business more than you want space to display the family Lego collection which could be dismantled and stored in the loft or sold on). This relies on you accepting that you can't achieve everything on your wish list. And it's ok if you decide you don't want to compromise, it's your life and money to spend how you choose!
3. Increase the space available to you by moving or extending

Only you can decide which of these options is within your means or palatable.

You keep defending your rationale for why you are special and NEED everything on your list, but the reality is that most people have to choose between a gym OR a home office OR a music room OR a spare bedroom, and accept the resulting discomfort and inconvenience of their decision.

I was thinking about this earlier. I grew up in a house with a living room, dining room, kitchen, music room. Dad had a recording studio in the garden and there was a garage you couldn’t get a car to but it housed all the bikes and tools and other stuff. My mum had loads of wardrobes, including one in my room, and we had a play room of sorts in the loft. There was a spare room for guests (no local family). So maybe that’s what I’m trying to create. (That house was 200+ years old and built of stone so no opportunity to move walls there!)

Nothing will change unless you change it. ADHD doesn't prevent people from doing un-fun tasks like tidying and decluttering. A boot sale could be a fun way of getting rid of stuff and it could be a good learning opportunity for your teen.

I’ve read most of the thread, and decluttering is the first step.

It seems a shame to spend a lot of money altering a house because it’s not big enough, when decluttering would possibly not only save you thousands in extension costs and possibly MAKE you thousands in selling the stuff!

Maybe you could present it as a challenge to the family and put it towards a fabulous holiday, or something you’d all appreciate? Maybe a weekly comp, and whoever wins, gets to choose the film to watch, or the takeaway?

If the above doesn’t work, Id be considering a third party decluttering person to do the work… then an architectural consultation with someone who can advise you on the best use of space. You’ve had some good advice from people but you need a professional eye.

(BTW… Has anyone suggested going up into the loft area?)

Brace yourself

pretty much everyone has said that

and we get a long response telling us why decluttering first is out of the question and we just stick to the question!

You seem to work away from home so much that a permanent second office shouldn't be necessary?

I don’t get it really. There’s no time to declutter one cupboard but you all have “hobbies” including drums, piano, bikes, classic cars, cake making, Lego…

DD has two bedrooms to herself but you’re wondering about her needing another space when her mates come round!

I get that you want your family to have what they want (don’t we all) but you’re either going to have to live with chaos and carnage or put a lid on some of it. Which would include getting DD and DH to sort some of their stuff out before adding to it - I hear you that they may have challenges with that, but they’re not literally incapable. And yes I do have experience, with my own DH.

Hi,

we have 3 kids in the size of your house less the outside office/gym.
All of mine are ADHD/ASD, so here is what keeps us sane.
Decluttering ruthlessly.

I would turn bedroom 4 to your office/guest room.
Keep your daughter in room she sleeps in.
Split downstairs lounge into two - one stays as living room, the other houses musical instruments and lego (says a person with 84kg of Lego in our house - the only thing that is not decluttered yet).

have you managed to start on a cupboard OP? a drawer? or have you lost interest?

Where is the plumbing? If you are buying a new kitchen anyway, would it make more sense to use the long living room as kitchen/diner with a sofa in there too?

Old kitchen becomes a snug for sofa and TV.

Dining room becomes your office/ music room.

But I would also point out a desk doesn't need to be huge. I work from a very basic Argos job. It is narrow to fit in a small alcove. My husband fitted one of the pull out key board trays under it (about a tenner on eBay) so that the monitors can go on top. I use laptop as second screen as it has camera for Teams but could have two monitors on there if preferred.

When I'm working, I'm a bit in the way because of the pull out but no one else is in room at the same time so it doesn't matter. Once finished it fits nicely into corner with chair underneath so it doesn't encroach on room.

Are you sure you haven't overlooked more simple solutions?

@quickoffthemark - yes… 🤣