Need inspo for our house.

[InNeedOfInspo]

Have been in our house for nearly 20 years. Me, husband, teen and dog.

We’re struggling to use it for everything we need to, with 2 of us working from home and hobbies etc. DH thinks the answer is a garden room, but I want to explore other options first.

Attached is the floor plan as it is now. In addition we have an extension on the back of a double garage that measures 4.5m x 3.5m and has a multipurpose room downstairs (currently a gym) with a shower room and an office upstairs with a sofa bed and an electric piano.

DH and I both work from home - him more or less 100% of the time and me 60% of the time. The desk in the extension is the only one with additional monitors so we end up fighting over it. I have a tiny standing desk at the back of the living room but can only fit a laptop on it.

We don’t have enough storage in the kitchen, so the dining room has become the overspill area, along with the utility room. We don’t sit to eat in the dining room, partly because it is cramped but mostly because our schedules mean we all end up eating at different times.

Upstairs I have Bed 1 and the en-suite, DD has bed 4 for sleeping, books and clothes and DH has bed 2. Again, this is due to schedules and everyone getting enough sleep. Bed 3 has DD’s toys, the family Lego, a desk and sofa bed. It’s mainly used by DD. DD and DH share the family bathroom.

We have too much stuff, and need to declutter and we need to replace the windows and doors within the next couple of years. This has led to a discussion about potential garden room (garden faces north so would take the only sunny spot) or extensions, and I’m thinking about internal layout as well.

We need a proper working space for me which is separate to the outside office. We need to house the musical
instruments more effectively and ideally together (at the moment there is a drum kit in the living room, piano in the office and smaller instruments in bedroom 3).

I would like a more functional kitchen and utility room with significant storage (the quote I had from a designer for kitchen, utility and dining room had 36 units).

We intend to stay in the house for at least another 10 years, possibly forever. Happy to spend money to make it work better for us but not so much that we never realise it at resale. We’ve biggest house on the street and the existing extension probably took us over the ceiling price.

I can’t help but think that with 3 of us in a relatively large house we shouldn’t need to extend or add a garden room
to achieve these objectives but I’m struggling to see what could be possible.

Any thoughts or ideas welcomed.

We have too much stuff, and need to declutter

bit mainly it’s the fact you point blank say you and your family will not be able to de clutter until you have an exciting plan to motivate you !

which would indicate…. that there is quite a build up of stuff

She’s not taking anything. I said I am.

I have put her on equazen after doing some research which she finds helps her concentration. As her ADHD impacts her more in terms of her emotional development, rejection sensitivity and trouble sleeping he didn’t think meds were going to be all that helpful.

Op I suspect you won't get much useful advice on this thread because you appear to have a very niche lifestyle and requirements:

Hobbies with large equipment to store (drum kit, multiple.otger instruments, scuba diving, photography, cycling, baking, go kart)

Home business requiring storage space, two private WFH spaces including one needing a large desk area for multiple screens, sofabed nearby for anti social hours/all night work

Home gym

Two bedrooms for teen

Separate bedrooms for both adults including one with a superking bed

Spare bed for overseas guests

Inability/unwillingness to declutter

You obviously have the means to support a very comfortable lifestyle and people are finding it difficult to relate as what you deem as essentials are luxuries for most families.

As you are time poor and having difficulty visualising changes it would be far more useful to seek bespoke advice from an architect or interior designer who can help you make the right choices for your family circumstances.

The motivation is more that declutterring isn’t fun and so other opportunities will always win, especially when time is limited.

“It’s Friday night. Shall we declutter the kitchen cupboards or go to the cinema!”

My autistic sister would choose the decluttering every time as she considers owning more than one spoon per person living in the house to be excessive…….

Oh I can definitely see why we all think it's rammed with stuff. You have given the impression that you all start lots of projects/hobbies and buys everything for it it seems and then it just sits there and some of it gets used intermittently but not always consistently and at least two of you have a problem getting rid of things and the third one doesn't have the time or heart to do it. You also say yourself it's too cluttered.

I don't know anyone who has rooms, upon rooms full of hobby equipment. Lots of baking stuff from an old business, a go cart, motorbike, classic car, drum set, piano, other instruments, boxes of lego sets, home gym, camping equiment, toys and so on. I am quite minimalistic and feel stressed just from reading your posts but I kind of love it too because we are so different.

sweet jesus

your daughter is not in medication and is as you describe?

i will bow out

oh and another reason why we think very cluttered

36 kitchen unit
and just one example of that point is tou had dozens upon dozens of pasta packets because you kept buys

I think people are assuming you have too much stuff because of the hobbies/ side hustles you all have. So far you've mentioned
Gym, classic cars, motorbikes, go kart, cooking/ baking equipment, camping, large music equipment, wood music equipment, lego builds such as the death star, cadets and uniform, art area, lots of clothes storage. I think I've missed some. You would like 2 home office spaces (one large), not infringing on the 3 bedrooms, a separate play/living space, room for guests to sleep, and more kitchen storage. I don't think that's physically possible with the space you have, even if you add a garden room.

My personal preference in your situation would be to tell people to pick their favourites in the house, use the space allocated to them and that's it. So if husband needs the gym space, he has to find a way to store his Lego in there and the motorbikes go. If DD chooses musical instruments, then she loses the art desk and the drums go up in her room.

If that's not something that suits you, my next step would be to hire a office space for a day a week or whatever, and take yourself out of the situation.

The very, very last thing I would do (because things will expand and you will never get rid of it) is hire a storage space. You have absolute, physical proof, that your family wants to keep all of the things they own, even if they never get used, and that you all like starting hobbies. You will fill the storage, and replace the space in the house with something else. You will be paying £x amount every month, until one of you dies and the other needs to clear it.

My sister and I are complete opposites.

The car is used nearly daily. It’s just getting older and should really be in the garage rather than on the drive to avoid further corrosion etc.

I stopped selling cake but still make them for friends and family. So haven’t got rid of all the kit because it does get used several times a year.

The motorbikes (plural) are DH’s. He mentions selling them on occasion but then changes his mind.

The go kart was his from 45 years ago. It’s bulky so I’d rather get rid but he has an emotional attachment to it.

I’m from a family of musicians. I play woodwind, which is reasonably easy to store (my flutes and clarinet are in a cupboard, saxophone in the corner). DD has played drums since she was 5 and piano since she was 8. She’s very talented and it’s an outlet for her. Unfortunately, they take up space and the next phase of drumming will need more space.

The Lego has been built. There aren’t boxes of Lego. Some of the pieces are large and can’t just go on shelves. They are sitting on Kallax units in bedroom 3 at the moment. My friend’s husband keeps his sets in their bedroom. 🤷🏻‍♀️

The gym is necessary for wellbeing and mental health. I find physical tiredness helps me sleep. I can’t function without sleep and approaching perimenopause any day my GP and Psychiatrist strongly encourage me to weight train. A rowing machine, a bike trainer and some weights don’t feel that excessive?

DH and DD love camping and he usually takes her camping with some of his family every year. I’m not sure that’s excessive either?

Toys are a work in progress. DD is about 11 in terms of her emotional development so she’s still slightly childlike in terms of playing. I think this will change in the next couple of years and it will be easier for her to let things go. But she needs help with that. As an only child with 2 parents that work long hours she often needs to amuse herself and I’d prefer that wasn’t always on screens.

I know our circumstances aren’t the norm. I hadn’t anticipated the level of judgement my request for practical home ideas has sparked. This situation has evolved over years and years and without clear understanding of why each of us is as we are. And we’re all lovely people, actually, just trying to do our best.

no one is saying you’re wrong to have all the above

but surely you understand that it very much indicates you are living a vast amount of…. stuff

I’ve taken medical advice from a professional. What help would meds be for her? I find mine quiet my mind and make me better able to focus during the day. DD doesn’t have the busy mind and is excelling at school. Apart from melatonin, what exactly might help?

My psych encouraged me to take 6 months to try non-medication approaches before trying meds. I find coaching very helpful, and exercise and diet also improve things. Even on meds I am prone to double booking myself and forgetting things so they aren’t a magic cure for all aspects of ADHD. And DD’s affects her differently. She’s meeting a coach this weekend to see if that helps.

That was because I wanted to be able to put everything away and asked him to make the best use of all available space for storage. It was an extreme ask with an extreme outcome.

The local food bank benefitted from the pasta.

The motorbikes aren’t in the gym? We share the gym space.

DD will study art and music. And need a desk for homework.

Nearest office spaces would be about 15 miles away - a 45-60 min drive. And reduce further the little time I have at home. There are some good suggestions on how I maybe able
to create a second home office here without needing to make DD give up activities which could one day be her career or ways to find calmness.

@InNeedOfInspo oh I have no doubt you are lovely people and probably quite fun to be around. I didn't mean to sound judgey, I am just more surprised I think. I think you also know that you have an inordinate amount of stuff and I know you have a reason as to why it all needs to stay and because we are so different I probably can't quite grasp why you need to keep already built lego sets, a go kart or multiple motorbikes.

You have the bulkiest hobbies known to man I think. I think you should get into aviation and park a plane in your back garden just to outdo the others😂

What if you got rid of the sofa bed in the spare room though and had your desk there? You could also get a small double for your bedroom and get rid of the super king and keep some of the stuff from the spare room in there. Maybe get one of those beds with built in storage.

Weirdly, I did look at a Red Arrow shell that was for sale. 😂

I would like a pilot’s licence (after I finish the masters) but that’s because of the state of the roads more than anything. DD likely to have one before she can legally drive.

The superking bed was custom built (at one point all 3 of us were in it. It’s a storage bed so things like suitcases and sleeping bags/summer duvets/winter coats live under there. Sometimes we all sit in it to watch a movie and DD might sleep in there if she’s poorly. As with the kitchen/living room, changing that means needing to find other storage for those things that currently have a home.

A second desk in bedroom 3 is an idea, but it means DD couldn’t use the room between school
finishing and at least 7pm on days I’m in there.

@InNeedOfInspo haha, that's hilarious. Of course you need to get a plane!

Could she sit in there and do her art if you are working or take her stuff to the diningroom table or something? I get that it would be hard for you to work if she playing the drums or something though but since you are not working from home every day there might be a compromise that can be made there?

I meant so if he chooses his designated space/ top priority to be the gym, then than means that he loses the garage (or wherever it is space) that the motorbikes are in. If you choose that your key hobby is the cake making, the garage is now free, so that can be shelved out for that stuff, and the utility room stuff can now fit in the kitchen. The utility room can be turned into an office. If you all pick your top hobby/ies and downsize the rest of it, there will be more space available for living.

I think you all need to sit down and have a grand old chat about your priorities:
Is it space to work?
Is it hobbies and the necessary equipment?
Is it having a peaceful space to sleep?
Is it being able to use the garden?

As you have already figured out yourself- you can't fit it all in the space you have. Every single suggestion of movement here has been met with a no, except for the back door I think. No judgement on that, they won't work for you. But that means that the answer is probably not in building more rooms in the limited space you have, but by sitting together, the 3 of you, and making a priority list.

Worth considering. Thank you.

Some of us only buy things if there is a home for it. So my classic car lives in the garage. My saddle and horse kit and rugs go in there along with camping equipment. I don't have a motorbike anymore because there's nowhere to keep it. A drum kit won't fit in the house so I don't have one. I don't buy clothes unless I get rid of some as my wardrobe is already reasonably full. If something isn't used regularly it goes out in favour of something that is. That's how most of us live.

We don't keep entire shelves of cake making equipment because you need one bowl, one mixer and two cake tins.
Op no one is judging you, but you asked. Procrastination is easy.

You have a 'too much stuff' problem not a too small house.

This is helpful, thank you.

I think I was hoping someone would say “move that door there, and remove that wall” and it would enable us to use space differently/better. It’s a good size house but having 1 living room can be a challenge, especially when DD will likely want friends around in coming years. The both of us needing to WFH looks to be staying (it only changed for me during Covid) so we need to look at things a bit differently. And I didn’t want to fork out thousands for new windows
and doors if moving things around would make more sense.

I do have some sympathy with why you want to keep all of the different categories or possessions. We have been in a similar situation, having lots of interests, having the money to buy all the gear and the space to make it possible for it to come into the house. When we complained about things my DD would sigh and say ‘first world problems’!
We have had several tidy and reorganise blitzes over the last twenty years, one when I just ran out of patience with all the stuff, one after kids had moved on and a recent one to create a snug.
My husband likes to keep things and not throw out, I find order calming and satisfying. Over a long time we have reached compromises. and bought a lot of Besta units from Ikea!
It sounds as if you have lots of ideals that you wants to satisfy but which are not all achievable in the space available. Could you draw up a list of them and prioritise it? For example is it more important for your DD to have space for art or to have her drums indoors as both take up space. Many people, including us and neighbours had drum kits in the garage and limit the hours they are used to not impact too much on the neighbourhood.
Could you do a sort through of all storage to at least make sure you know what you have and that like is stored with like. Obviously it is also a good chance to get rid of things which are no longer used.
I agree with another poster who suggested making the other members of your family accept that their stuff goes in their space.
Going forward try a one in one out policy.

The mixer is in the kitchen and gets used all the time. (Has a cheese grater attachment which is awesome). The shelves have tubs with eg flours, sugars, food colourings, flavourings, a turn table, tins and cookbooks. Not used daily but used several times a year. Food processor is in there (it’s a stick blender with several different attachments used for usual cooking several times a week. Definitely use more than one bowl for cake, but also used to make other things during the week like coleslaw or pasta salad. Is this really not usual?

It’s maybe 1.5 meters long and waist height.

Upthread I mentioned putting stuff in storage, but you suggested putting stuff out in the garden. I actually meant hire a storage unit. The hire will give you space for alterations and the cost of it will give you the incentive for you to get rid of it as soon as possible.

DD has a “one in, five out” policy at the moment!

She has an electric drum kit at present so can practice with headphones without upsetting the neighbours. Same with the piano. Progressing to acoustic is another issue entirely! As I said, we’re night owls. She’s not home till nearly 10pm 3 nights a week and neighbours won’t appreciate her being creative at that time without some sound deadening.