I’m so worried and stressed out

[Zelly80]

Hi everyone. I am still stuck in this buying/selling nightmare.

Offered on a house we loved accepted and got our mortgage approved etc. Seller had yet to find a purchase. We were originally STC on our property with an EA at this point and waited for over 6 weeks for them to get their mortgage. To this day they are AWOL

In the meantime our contract expired with that EA and we went with a new one, they managed to get block viewings on one day without the house being marketed.

since we have got another buyer who offered, we accepted. Last Friday they put in their mortgage application.

we are now told that our seller has found a property no chain and is waiting for our solicitor to begin work.

however due to past experience we have been apprehensive to formally instruct the solicitor until they provide a mortgage offer so we know its definitely going ahead.

the EA also put our house on the market today. As a back up.

i just feel so unsettled that everything is going topsy turvey. I dont want a new buyer, and dont want to lose the current buyer as they may see the house on the market and think what the hell. I did tell them that this is what we were going to do as a precaution and i am not at all going to accept offers or viewings but its just i feel so anxious. Will it put them off or get them to cancel their mortgage application now? I guess they would have told the EA by now, or messaged me, they have my number as they asked for it on their second viewing.

I dont want to lose my seller because we are holding off our solicitor. Im worried to start paying solicitors fees when the buyer doesnt have an official mortgage. Our buyer has provided solicitors details but what does this really prove without the funds.

i cant sleep i cant eat. This is making me physically ill and its so irrational i know, but its horrible.

i would really just like everything to go through. Thanks if you made it this far 😔😔

Have had the same, someone told me 'what's for you,won't go by you,' which I found mysteriously reassuring. In fairness, there isn't anything else you can do at this stage apart from let the process take its course.

Hey thank you. I certainly hope it is but like you said. If its meant to be. It will, or wont. I wont be doing this ever again if it happens to go through. 😣

Hi OP, I can sense your anxiety but unfortunately you have to play the game properly and so I’d get solicitors instructed asap to do the ID checks, pay for searches etc. and to stop worrying about your buyers mortgage offer. I was in conveyancing for 10 years pre-kids and the mortgage offer was usually one of the last things to come in so you’re holding everything up at the minute for no reason. Tell your EA to take your property off the market for goodness sake if you’ve accepted your buyers offer. Everything will be fine but you have to bite the bullet otherwise you’ll piss off your buyer and seller (and anyone else in the chain)

This. Our last sale and purchase, our mortgage offer came through the day before exchange, it was completely nerve wracking, but we just ploughed on regardless with everything else and trusted it would come right in the end, which it did.

house buying is super stressful. sorry to hear it's been like this. my advice is don't put it back on the market. your buyer will not take it well, I wouldn't (I'm a buyer). Take a day or two "off" from this. No house things for two days (tell EA to tell buyer/seller you're away for an event). Clear your head. The right thing to do will come to you.

Im a bit lost! Do you now have 2 buyers? The 1st from your original estate agents and a 2nd buyer via new estate agents .... and you have given your phone number to the '2nd buyers'?.

Hello, thanks for your kind response. The property was put on the market by my EA and the seller was informed that once survey is booked they will mark it as under offer.

I was reluctant also but due to everything thats gone wrong it seems the only way forward. In an ideal scenario i would have proceeded in this the correct way. Its just been a mess since day one and we are more apprehensive than we have needed to be.

ive not heard back from my EA or the buyer so i am assuming they are still happy to continue whilst they hear back on their mortgage decision.

i want the buyers to come good im honestly not looking to entertain more/higher offers but im so scared of it going wobbly. The EA hasnt helped the situation and its left me in a terrible mess.

i did want to message my buyer today and reassure them of my actions but i dont want to be seen as harassing or pushing them. I would have been happy to hear from them also if they had any questions about them seeing the advert on RM today. Im hoping they understand.

i think my issue is worrying about my sellers and the email from their EA asking about my solicitors instructions, which are on hold till the offer comes through although after some advice on this thread, i may go ahead and instruct formally tomorrow. My forms are complete i just need to take in copies of ID and transfer money to get them to start.

thanks again. 🥹

Hello im sorry for the confusion. The first buyers have never contacted me and the previous EA explained that they likely didnt get their mortgage or just changed their minds. We had to give up on them after 7 weeks of waiting.

2nd buyer new EA. They came for two viewings. Made offer on second. Asked for my phone number and we have exchanged messages a couple of times. They submitted their mortgage application on Friday. Because of what first ‘buyers’ did we are worried it will happen again. So are on the market until they have mortgage valuation done at the very least.

i hope that is a bit clearer now.
honestly my head is shot now and i just cant seem to rest.

If I was your buyer and saw the property back on the market, I’d be concerned you were holding out for a higher offer and going to gazump me.
You can take out homebuyers insurance to recoup costs if sales fall through but holding off on searches etc just risks drawing the whole thing out further.

If I was your buyer I would not accept the property still being on the market as “for sale” after my offer had been accepted.

Why should they start spending money on your property when you haven’t committed to selling it to them?

I think you should withdraw it from the market straight away and it should be listed as SSTC before your buyer gets cold feet by your attitude to them. They haven’t done anything wrong to be treated like this. You shouldn’t punish them for the actions of a previous buyer which your EA allowed to drag on way too long.

I mean this in the nicest possible way as I'm both buying and selling atm and it's gone horribly wrong once already - so I totally get it - but as a buyer it would be your actions that would be making me nervous and more likely to wobble. If the property I was buying hadn't been taken off rightmove I'd be thinking the sellers weren't serious about accepting my offer and it would make me more likely to look elsewhere. As long as the house is priced sensibly and their offer was sensible, it's unlikely they won't get their mortgage offer if they had the amount agreed in principle. Whilst it's obviously worrying, your reluctance to instruct Solicitors etc is likely to make it more likely to fall over!

Sorry but you have to trust your buyers. I understand why you feel anxious but they sound serious and they will not be happy if they see that the house remains on the market. It will all end up as a giant game of chicken and nothing will go anywhere.

These are not the buyers who ghosted you.

Right - you just need to put yourselves in the position of your buyers. How would you react if the house you want to buy is put back on the market by your sellers? Would you still proceed and start spending money on surveys, etc? I'm actually surprised your estate agent agreed to doing this - very unprofessional. Sorry, you're being unreasonable and letting your emotions take over. If I was your buyer I would definitely be looking elsewhere. You should take it off the market immediately, apologise to your purchasers and hope that your actions haven't put them off.

At best you'll end up in a stalemate where the buyers won't book a survey until it's under offer (I certainly wouldn't spend the money on a survey if I thought the vendor was holding out for a better offer, which is what it looks like if you stay open on RM). At worst you'll lose them.

Having reached an age where I've bought numerous houses, I've mellowed over the years.

My buying and selling was so fraught in my 20's and 30's, mostly down to me worrying about every little piece of information given and ruminating on the numerous possibilities.

When we came to purchase number 4, I handed the agent my keys and told him to sell it.

I said I did not want ANY communication with him except an offer for the asking price. I did not want to be contacted with ANY issues at all about purchasers or complications or mortgage offers or surveys. Absolute zero thank you.

Well he did sell it, for the full asking price. Apparently he'd had a difficult time as the buyers wanted to renegotiate after having a survey (old property) and he had to stand his ground and say they either purchased as is or it would be offered to the next interested party.

He was true to his word and I found all of this out later.

Best method I've ever found of selling. If booked a long holiday just before instructing him so the house was immaculate and empty for viewing.

I can recommend family run agencies. The independent ones seem to be the best in my opinion.

My advice is to step away from the 'what if's' . If it's meant be it will happen. If your buyers are keen they will make it happen. If they aren't keen then the next buyers may be.

take your house off the market and let your agent chase up the buyers. They will be focused to get it through for you. Focus on your own purchase now.

Have your buyers got an agreement in principle at least? If so, you really need to take the property off the market, I don't know what your EA was thinking saying it should go back on. I would definitely be suspicious and spooked by this if I were your buyer. And what's the point in it being on the market if you're not taking viewings? It just means that if it does fall through it looks like it's been for sale for ages and there must be a problem with it.
I get that the whole process is horrifically stressful, I hate every second of buying and selling, but this isn't the way to make it go more smoothly!

Take your house back off the market (it can always go straight back on if necessary).

Trust your buyers - they are making all the right noises with repeat visits, mortgage applications, solicitors.....

Get your forms in and start the process with your solicitor.

And take a few deep breaths.....

Kindly, I think you are making this process more stressful for yourself.

As a FTB if I had an offer accepted and then saw the house back on Rightmove I likely pull out immediately. At the very least I wouldn't be commiting to spending any money and booking a survey.

I don't understand why you wouldn't instruct the solicitors and do the ID checks and get the forms all filled in as you still need to do this regardless of who your buyer is.

I am hoping that everyone who has been so kind in responding to me and giving me your advice can see this.

First of all, THANK YOU ALL. I cant say that enough.

I woke up this morning feeling much clearer thanks to everyone here, so armed with the right advice, I asked my agent to mark us as STC, formally instructed my solicitor.

and now within the last 30 mins, a survey has been booked in, they called me to confirm access tomorrow (something else to worry about)

It looks as though its heading in the right direction for now. Thank you all again.

Hope it all goes smoothly for you from here!

Oh lord - it is hell isn't it.

I had to deal with all this just after my OH died - I had to move for financial reasons - I had 3 potential buyers let me down and 3 different purchases fall through - all incurring solicitor expenses. I never want to go through all that again - it was unspeakable.

All I can do is send a handhold - I know how stressful it is - there must be a better system!

Hope everything goes smoothly @Zelly80 please let us know if you would like more advice further down the line 😀

Is you were selling to me, I'd be extremely concerned that you weren't messing me around and I'd be worried more so than normal about timescale - for this reason, I'd half have my eye on other properties coming on the market. Obviously things go wrong and there are delays, but when there are delays for no reasons I'd be really worried. Sadly what you've been through is part of the selling and buying game, but I wouldn't want to risk losing a buyer.

Im sorry to hear about your loss. Its difficult, Mom had to go through similar things when we lost my Dad. My best wishes to you. Thank you.