Floating toilets and weight limit

[ReacherSaidNothing]

We recently moved into a new house which has a floating toilet. Not my first choice but happy to live with it for now. I have a worry which is probably me being silly but my SIL is coming to visit us soon for the first time and she is morbidly obese (unsure of her exact weight and would never dream of asking). Do you think she would be fine to sit on the toilet or would it be at risk of getting damaged in some way? I'm happy to be told I'm being paranoid, stupid or mean but would just be happy to have other people's opinions or insight on this, thanks. SIL will definitely need the toilet when she is here as she has medical issues.

Some NHS trusts refuse all non-lifesaving surgery to anybody over a BMI of 30, so that in itself doesn't mean much.

However, she's got a bad knee, so the easiest way is to be open with 'I got this to help you because of your knee'. It's bad practice to use a sink to help yourself up, as that carries a considerable risk of slipping at speed and subsequent injury/knocking oneself out on it. More accessible toilets are also higher/have raised seats precisely because of risk of slipping from being unsteady/the likelihood of pain when lowering and rising from a toilet at standard height.

You don't have to say anything about her weight or the fixings at all. It's all about her knee and reducing her pain/potential for injury.

Haven't rtft, just all @ReacherSaidNothing posts. Could you get the toilet aid and tell dsil that it came with the house, and you've put it there as you find it quite useful yourselves? If other family members who have already seen the bathroom without the aid are present, and raise their eyebrows at this, you could always say breezily 'Oh yes, it was left by the vendors in the garage/loft/shed/under the stairs/wherever, but it was obvious what it was for, and as we were a bit concerned about how robust the toilet set up is we thought we'd use it.' Obviously you'd need to make sure no delivery note or packaging are left visible!

Hi, I am very large and when we were doing our bathroom I researched and the wall hung toilets could take up to around 24 stone I think. We didn’t get one but I do feel less stressed when I go somewhere that has them albeit I try and hover! . For an occasional visit she’ll be OK I’m sure:

@ReacherSaidNothing At least three people, including the very first comment on this thread from @gamerchick now that tenderstem’s are gone, have told you that floating toilets should be able to handle 30-35 stone. @chromebook234 even did all the research for you, with links. If the floating toilet is properly installed, it should be able to handle up to 226kg/500lbs/30-35 stone. And it says for American brands that they can handle 500-880 lbs, as long as they’re installed correctly. You already have the information your plumber is going to give you. He’s definitely not going to simply admit it might not be installed correctly and it might not carry the weight it should. So the only issue I see you have is now: is your SIL more than 30 stone? Then your toilet MIGHT break. Using MyBodyGallery, you can see what a woman who is 222kg (34.96 stone) and 5’7” looks like so you don’t have to ask SIL. That’s it. That should settle it for you.

https://app.mybodygallery.com/#/?height=170&weight=222

As for the sink, it will not be able to support as much, and you really must know the brand because it varies more widely than the minimum for floating toilets. In general, you might put a very strong tall stool under the sink that could be used without looking medical, if your husband believes a medical device is “insulting.”

Thanks for the link @5YearsLeft , I'd say the lady in the pic is about the same size as SIL. Looks like we're getting a mowbray then

If she is that wide, she's not going to fit between the handles of the mowbray. She'll end up removing it anyway.

@ReacherSaidNothing I’m glad it helps! Because the question really is about your SIL, and the REAL problem is a social one: that you needed to determine if she is anywhere near the weight that it might hurt her or damage the toilet without it insulting her (if your husband is afraid of that) or it causing an issue in the family. At this point though, you can show him there is a very real risk of damage not only to your toilet, but more importantly your SIL could get hurt in the process, and that a Mowbray frame is the best idea to keep everyone safe. Good luck!!! I know family things can be very difficult to navigate sometimes.

@ReacherSaidNothing id go with contacting your plumber & asking him to come & check it's been fitted properly/if there's any way to strengthen it.

TBH as you've just moved in and are still at the 'finding issues with build quality' stage I'd just replace it. A back to wall, floor standing loo will cost a couple of hundred, then half a days work to swap them over, as the existing cistern and waste pipes are already there. You'll be able to find something in a style similar to the existing one (most ranges that do a wall mount also do a floor standing to match the basin etc).

A standard Mowbray frame won't work because they are designed to help people with mobility issues primarily, not obesity. She won't be able to use it because her thighs will be trapped in it/together, preventing her from being able to go to the toilet and clean herself after. You would need to buy one specifically designed for bariatric patients with an extra-wide seat and much more space between the arms.

They do have wider Mowbrays specifically for this reason on Amazon, though they cost a bit more, but I do think @YeahComeOnThen has maybe partially an idea: I would maybe call your plumber and ensure the toilet can only bear 30 stone, as we know for certain from Google that there are floating toilets that can handle more weight. However, anything you do to try to strengthen it is either going to be a major construction project that @ReacherSaidNothing has already mentioned not having money for, or may essentially just change a floating toilet into a regular toilet. And then there is the issue of if SIL uses the floating sink for support as you, OP, mentioned she cannot stand without support. I’m beginning to think that you may not get out of this without saying something to her, as you cannot run the risk that she will remove and not use the Mowbray frame, unless your plumber confirms for certain that the toilet is okay.

In all of this though, I think the most important thing to remember when dealing with your SIL is that it’s not about weight or judgment (perhaps you and your husband have other worries about her health, but just put that aside for now) - it’s about the fact that you want a guest to be safe in your house and it would be terrible if a guest were to get injured in your house, whether that’s by a a slip on the lawn or a problem with the toilet. So do everything you can to solve this, and if you must speak to SIL, just treat her with the politeness you’d treat any guest about such a delicate issue.

A grab rail fitted to the wall might help with the getting up and down issue. If she's going to spend £100 on a Mowbray, she would probably be better off spending a little bit more on replacing the toilet rather than spending that on a frame that is only going to be used for one day and then having to store it somewhere for next time. The OP says her bathroom is narrow so that might limit how wide of a frame she can fit in there anyway. If the toilet is close to the wall, the wide frame won't fit. She needs to do a bit more planning before spending.

I could be wrong but I don’t think there’s any way to change a wall-mounted toilet into one that sits on the floor without paying hundreds of pounds or getting up to £1000. Even replacing it with another floating toilet with a high weight limit could cost into the hundreds since it won’t sit exactly like the current one and might involve breaking through drywall or even cement, and then that’s not including the cost of the toilet itself which is at least £100, but most likely more. Maybe I’m missing something though? I admit I’m definitely not a plumbing expert so maybe you have a better idea - that would be great for OP. Because I totally agree with you the Mowbray isn’t ideal. And I considered the hand rail, especially since it’s cheaper than a Mowbray frame. But the problem is that the Mowbray will support some of the weight, whereas the hand railing will not help with that issue. But maybe none of this is the right solution for OP yet.

How does she use the loo in her own house? Does she have a grab rail?

This is such a delicate situation. I have a friend who must be about 25 stone minimum and hosting him has caused a lot of damage to my house. He seems oblivious to it. He has broken several toilet seats and broken both my newish sofas. They have a max user weight of 20st. They are not expensive sofas but it took me years to save up for them. I offer him a chair when he comes but he insists on sitting on the sofa. I have skirted about the issue but in recent weeks I have been getting quite annoyed, not because he has broken the stuff but because he gas not once acknowledged that he has done this. He goes to the toilet, breaks the seat, and comes back and doesn't say a word. I don't discover it until.I go to the toilet later.

I am actually obese myself with a bmi of 33 so I'm not fat shaming but I am a skint single mum and replacing the things is expensive. We can't replace the sofas so we have to live with them. The frames are broken. He sees no problem with his weight and says he is in perfect health. He doesn't think I need to lose weight, despite the fact that I now have 2 obesity related health conditions, and discourages me from exercising. He is my friend and is a nice person and I don't want to hurt him, but now I think he must know he is damaging all these things. He must know why I am offering him a chair and he still refuses. There is no point to my post. I have never said anything to anyone about it which is why I am posting here. When I got my new sofas my friend wanted to come over and see them but they got broken before she had the chance to come and now I can't have anyone. My previous sofa was 30 years old and I wanted to replace it so I could have people over and the DC could have people over.

Not once has my friend ever said sorry or acknowledged that he has broken anything. As it is due to his weight I can't say anything.

I hope you get your toilet situation sorted out OP.

Seriously dude he doesn't give a toss about breaking your stuff, he'll be hard nosed to take the truth on the chin. Tell him he's broken them and he can't sit on them anymore. Or stop inviting him over and see him at his instead.

@EmmasBudgie that isn’t the behaviour of a good friend. He shouldn’t be discouraging you from losing weight or not apologising when he breaks something. You can repair frames in sofas….a handyman could do it if you don’t fancy it.

then don’t meet him at your house. Meet outside at the park. And invite other people round.

maybe start your own thread for support.

@BarrelOfOtters I'm not sure what the set-up is at her own place, I do know she got the bath removed and installed a shower instead as she had trouble getting over into the bath. We never go there as she moved hundreds of miles away for work and comes back here for family visits.

@EmmasBudgie that's pretty awful about your broken items, it's tricky trying not to cause offence but surely he must be aware of the damage he's caused? Can you maybe say in future that you can't have visitors as your sofa is damaged then meet him elsewhere?

And keep a broken toilet seat to put on for next time he comes.

Get the aid for the bathroom AND get some other items ready- like a chair that’s not too low, or put blocks under the sofa to raise it. That way it will be clear it’s her knee you are worried about.

You can always mention in passing that you are paranoid about the loo and sink holding up, because you can’t inspect the support system!

Haven't had time to read all the replies so sorry if I'm repeating, but maybe you could borrow a toilet frame with hand rails that you can place around it and just pretend you have had something like runners knee or a sprained wrist recently and that is why you have it there for now.

As a 13.5 stone 5ft 5 obese woman, I would say for most women it is.

I'm 12.6 stone which is officially classed as obese for my height of 5ft 4.

We have wall hung toilets, and ours are rated at 250kg. That's way over 30 stone.

As others have said , just cut a block of wood, shape it ,paint it white and fit it under the toilet. If its done neatly then she wont even know its not supposed to be there. Once shes gone remove it and save it for next time she visits.

Just need to cut it the right size or maybe get it snug with a plastic packer or 2