Moving after 30 years in my house

[Mxflamingnoravera]

After 30 years in my lovely Victorian terrace I've decided to downsize to a two bed new build flat.
I've had back surgery which was not entirely successful and other aches and pains which makes my house too much for me.
I'm 15 years divorced and my son left home 10 years ago, it's time for a new family to love this house and garden.
....
But I'm lost, heartbroken, excited, don't know quite how to get the house sale ready. Can't clean because of my back, and can't garden for the same reason.

I've got a blitzer coming for the garden on Wednesday, and a decorator to paint over old water stains on my ceiling.

But how do I go from all this to an apartment? My son's room is pretty much the way it was when he left for university. His childhood books and toys are still here. I'm overwhelmed by the enormity of my decision.

I've seen an agent, I know what the house is worth. That's not the problem, it's the 30 years of STUFF that feels so overwhelming. Where do I start? Help!

Congratulations!!! I am so very, very pleased for you. Well done. You deserve many years of happiness in your lovely new place. I hope your aunt and mum enjoy visiting.

Fantastic news ! Congratulations on your new home !

I am in but not settled yet. I have way too much/many
Books
Cutlery
Sets of drawers
Knickers
Socks
Blue jeans
Bedding
Towels
Kitchenalia
Rugs
TVs
Elephants
Candlesticks
First aid/medical stuff
Clothes
Pictures

I need:
Beautiful chairs that fit under a round table
A lovely bookcase that is not a Billy from IKEA.
The smoke alarm moved/disconnected, it's a nest thing and it goes into warning mode from the slightest thing. I don't think my sellers did any cooking.
An easy step, the kitchen cabinets are so high I can only reach the first shelf.
Somewhere to store tea towels and cloths.
Ditto cast iron ware.
Instructions for the hot water system.
Tv Ariel points that work.
A heated clothes dryer (I'm not allowed to dry on the balcony).

I've ordered a mailing label for British Heart Foundation for the clothing.
I took four binbags of paper used to warp stuff, to the tip today, along with a load of stuff to the reuse shop- came home- there's still at least another car load to go.
I've ordered stacking pans so I can get rid of my old mixed muddle of scratched non stick.

I can't change my bank address details in the banking app- all the branches are closed down- how the heck do I do it?

I need to change the Tv Licence and my driving licence but if I send my driving license I can't enter the tip!

Lots to do! But still happy.

The worst bit was today when I found a box of papers I wrote when my marriage broke down twenty five years ago. I cannot bear to look at them- he was having an affair and I was trying to win him back (I'm glad I didn't, he's not a nice man. I wanted to chuck it away, but I couldn't. I asked myself if I'd ever want my son to read it if/when I die. I couldn't answer the question so I put it back in the box. It's heartbreaking rereading the few sentences I read.

Lots of emotional baggage to offload with the other stuff clearly. Maybe I'll some of the proceeds of the sale to pay for therapy.

Sounds like you’re doing brilliantly - had to smile at having too many elephants though 😀

Re your bank - can you phone them to give them your new address? If not I guess you will have to find the nearest branch to visit even if it’s miles away.

So sorry to hear about the upsetting box of papers you found. I would want to take them to the tip or them put in recycling so the new property is free of them. I’m sure it’s not that easy though.

I've spent so much time at the tip and charity shops since we moved two weeks ago.

I too think you need to let go,of the emotionally triggering paperwork. Does your son have a good relationship with his dad? Does he really need to read all that?

See your new place as a new start and begin afresh!

That's great advice re the papers. I'll get rid of them today. Leaving my old place was about leaving that stuff well and truly in the past.

I have a collection of antique wooden elephants. I have over 200 of them, they lived on a built in alcove shelf at my old place. This one has no alcoves and I've yet to buy shelves so these will have to stay boxed for now. But funny symbolism, the paperwork was the biggest elephant! And it's going, today! That will feel great.

I shall walk into town (because I can- now!) to the only branch left in a city of 300k people.

Re the changes of addresses, have you got access to a printer? If so you could photocopy your driving licence to use at the tip while the DL is being updated.

You might be able to change your address on the bank desktop site rather than the app, but if you have to go into the branch to do it you will need proof of ID, so passport or DL and proof of your old address like council tax or utility bill, plus proof of your new address.

I very much agree with letting go of that paperwork, I used to burn stuff like that, when I had a working fireplace, but that's probably not a good idea in a flat, especially with your ultra sensitive fire alarm. Maybe your local fire station would move or install new fire alarms for you.

Good for you - time to throw out some emotional baggage! Let go of that negative energy.

It's gone! I've thrown away all the papers relating to that awful time. It feels good.

Good for you, I think that is a really important step. You don't want all that old negativity and hurt in your lovely new home, onwards and upwards.

That’s good! No one ever has to feel upset by reading them ever again.

You may not be able to update your address on the banking app but you normally can by logging in on their actual website but this usually requires a laptop or tablet as they don't work well on phones. This probably too late, I expect you've accomplished this in town today!

Also, you can hold on to your current driving licence while you wait for your new own, and then return the old one. They don't wait to get the old one back before issuing your new one. At least that way you can still do all your tip runs while you wait.

True I’ve just remembered that when I got my new driving licence they asked me to send them the old one but I forgot

How liberating.

I'm going to remember you @Mxflamingnoravera as an example.

I didn't make it into town. Instead I had a swim, went to an osteopath for my back, took delivery of a fine set of new stackable saucepans and a heated clothes horse and had fish and chips for supper from one of the many restaurants and take always that are just moments from my door, but no so close that I get bothered by them.

I'm lying on my sofa having spent the evening watching clouds go by and the flags fluttering on the ship nearby, feeling happy and blissfully lighthearted.

So glad for you OP. I’ve been following your story too. Enjoy your new home and all it brings. 💐

I've just read all your posts in one go. So happy for you. Wishing you a lovely fresh season in your new home.

How lovely - you can go to town another day

I’ve not read the whole thread @Mxflamingnoravera but wonder if there are any local uni students (especially 6’ strong ones!) who’d work with you shifting stuff?

Agree a day rate or hourly one. They’re still around and looking to earn back all the money they spent partying in Majorca on holiday! (Well, that’s the story of the lovely chap who I used 🙂)

Ive successfully employed one to shift a whole heap of compost into 2 deep troughs on my terrace.

@BG2015 yes! I had no idea I'd be getting on first name terms with the men at the tip! Although yesterday I went to the car park with a bag for the tip and met the caretaker for my building for the first time. I said I was going to leave it by the door for a moment shirt I got me car, then I'd pick it up and take it to the tip. He took it off me and said he'd sort it in our building's recycling centre and took it! What a service ♻️

Not shirt! whilst I got my car!

That's great service.

I'm glad you're happy in your new home. I've taken to just sitting my living room in quiet and peace and just enjoying the space.

All my boxes are unpacked now. I've got rid of my old white furniture which was too big for the room and have bought smaller pieces that work well. I'm just waiting on a small side table to be delivered and to put up my new door sign.

I now need to stop spending 🙈

@Mxflamingnoravera css as n I ask which stackable is a you bought? I need some new ones 😀

@Mxflamingnoravera obviously that should be can I ask!

Yes. I've been on s bit of a spending spree. But if it's stuff you need, then it's justified.
I need to get rid of three chests of drawers before I can finish unpacking. British Heart Foundation are coming on Friday for two of them and a mate is taking the third on Saturday.
I need some shelving. I'm liking the idea of mid century ladderax stuff. But I need something quickly to get my elephants and books out of bags and boxes.