Windows. UPVC or wood?

[Swedes]

Our windows are all currently UPVC - which I don't really like. Our rear windows need replacing and I want to change to wood. I know UPVC is maintenance free. What would you do?

Thirties. Not dedication - just that the house had had very little done to it for 35 years and since we've been doing building work and decorating (started in 2006) have been doing things in stages.
Also have real dislike of UPVc.

Swedes, it's only a short step from UPVC windows to a caravan and doilies. Save yourself and your children from everlasting shame.

By the way, you have clearly never seen Betty Blue. THere were no slip on shoes involved at all.

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yes easier swedes if you are burgling care home for the deaf.

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I've done caravans on my blog today too. Sort of...

Golly - do you all live in earshot of each others windows? Dount you have graoinds?

I gave in and read Monkey's blog and it was fab.

Swedes, read it on your journey, it might help you to change direction ...

why thank you danae.

Ah, now monkey, I have a soft spot for caravans. I have a hypocritical love for certain types of British crapness, in context. I am very fond of Dungeness and the Isle of Sheppey, for example.

Wahey! Two readers now. I knew the waterboarding technique would work.

Dear Swedes,

This is what I (Mr. Iorek) think:

uPVC is weak, which means fat frames which means less glass and less daylight. Sometimes you see some really bad panes where there are only a few square inches of glass left.

Well sealed windows in old houses lead to condensation. You need leaky windows to allow air to move through, which keeps the moisture in the air off the surfaces and draw damp out of the walls/floors. I realise this is not fuel efficient but it is a fact. Previously, fireplaces helped draw air through the house. Central heating and static air exacerbate condensation and damp.

Moving parts (opening panes, hinges and handles) are subject to stress and their fixings are liable to work loose over time. On uPVC if the screws pull out this cannot be fixed. The frames would probably have to be replaced. They are in effect disposable windows.

They only come in white or dark brown wood effect.

They may make you and your family depressed.

pooka "we've been doing building work and decorating (started in 2006) "

You see? This is what I fear. Incontinent in the nursing home reminiscing about the houses I nursed back to health and beauty. Whilst my children come alternate months and say it's a lovely transom over the entrance door to the Homeforunlovedserialrenovators, isn't it mum, anyway gotta go - see you in 8 weeks.

"Dount you have graoinds?"

This is like when I was asked if I liked a fictional banf that I'd naturally never heard of at school. I have NO IDEA whether it will be worse to answer yes, or no.

That was Mr Iorek. He is even more passionate than Onebat on this subject and consequently was moved to respond to your dilemma.

Swedes

If you are incontinent in a nursing home, with any amount of luck you will be demented and not remember who your children are or whether they have come to visit. You worry too much.

Incidentally my luverly wooden windows are very low maintenance. And so handsome too. I have one of those leetle wrought iron tables in front of one of the french windows. Is fab look that would never work in front of UPVC ...

Now see. I am dedicated. I am. But I really cannot be arsed to read 141 posts about windows unless, I have assurances that this actually descended into a sweary/rude/contenscious/political/cunty/witty thread?

Has it?

Or is it windows?

our house had some windows replaced by glass with bits of wood nailed around, others freezy critall. we are slowly replacing with nice wood and it really isn't that expensive, about £300 per window. (ha we are borrowing it from my mum)

BLOODY HELL! MR IOREK!

I bet HE has graoinds!

He is right in every respect, except that uPVC can now be bought in 'light oak'.

Nothing should ever pretend to look like something else, should it, really?

fuck off slur, you graoind.

Nah it's just windows. Swedes is trying to convince herself that UPVC is not the sine qua non of naffness and that she really enjoys the all day breakfast at Little Chef.

The rest of us are trying to convince her that she's too young for them.

What is a graoind?

Our house had nasty 60s wood frames with transoms (top openers) when we moved in, in 1983; we replaced, at the front, with sash-barred uPVC which honestly look much nicer than the 60s transoms.

I would love to replace with proper sashes, but all the mechanisms have been removed, and our house is so wonky I'm not sure we could even do it in the downstairs bay at the front. JerrybuildersRUs in 1890s Lancashire

I'll be incontinent and lucid, I'm certain of it.

Iorek - Big lol and thanks. I have just read Mr Iorek's message out to DP and DS. We loved it. DS1 loves your name - he loves northern lights

oh. have just realized that graoinds is phonic 'grounds' (swedes you meant grinds) and not euphemism.

Quattro - Your summing up is incorrect. I know uPVC are the epitome of naff. I am just not sure I care. It must be like the first time you buy a pair of Van Dals. A triumph of convenience over style.

OBM, what sort of euphemism were you thinking?