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Original poster

Inheritance Money

87 replies

LincsLady22 · 22/12/2023 11:11

If your spouse received a large chunk of inheritance, would you consider it theirs to spend on themselves as they wish? Or for you to decide how to spend together for the family?

OP posts:

Britpop123 · 22/12/2023 11:12

LincsLady22 · 22/12/2023 11:11

If your spouse received a large chunk of inheritance, would you consider it theirs to spend on themselves as they wish? Or for you to decide how to spend together for the family?

This is mumsnet so it depends

his inheritance should be shared, hers should be her own and protected

Santaiswashinghissleigh · 22/12/2023 11:13

Depends.. We are married but have separate finances so probably would assume same for inheritance..

CalmaLlamaDown · 22/12/2023 11:14

My DH would pay it all into our joint account and it would be ‘family’ money.

Same for me, if I inherited anything.

Skykidsspy · 22/12/2023 11:16

We have joint finances and have received an inheritance - well dh did. It’s his so I feel as though he has final say but we’re still talking through what to do with it. He wouldn’t do anything without discussion and agreement. It is split between accounts in both our names for now for tax efficiency and that seems to be our main goal.

Ilikewinter · 22/12/2023 11:19

Both DH & I had inherited and as we have separate bank accounts the respective money was in our own accounts. DH paid for a holiday and kept the remainder (put towards a new car), mine is going towards a house move (and im keeping a chunk for me). I think it depends on the amount and the family situation.

jadey1991 · 22/12/2023 11:21

I think it will depend on your situation.

If my DH inherited a large amount he would share it with the family. Same as myself. And also put money aside.

However some people don't see it that way unfortunately

Outnumbered99 · 22/12/2023 11:22

Both my husband and I would do the same, it would be family money, but with a treat for the person who inherits, something in memory of the person that died, especially if a close relative.

Anyone with kids/mortgage/spouse that comes into a significant amount of money from whatever source and their initial thought is to spend it all on themselves, well, that says a lot about them that i wouldn't like tbh.

AntiHop · 22/12/2023 11:23

Dh and I share finances completely. So it would be our money and we'd make joint decisions. We've both received inheritance at different times and this is what we've done. In one case I wanted to buy an expensive item that we couldn't afford before that only benefitted me. My dh had no objection to that.

ajandjjmum · 22/12/2023 11:24

Our money is joint - always has been. But when DH received an inheritance from his parents, it did feel like it was his decision. He replaced his car and paid off a chunk of our mortgage - both decisions that I agreed with, but still feel a little put out that he didn't really discuss it with me. He would say he did, but it was more as a fait accompli. Then again, he had shit parents so maybe this was a bit of mental payback?

Seaside3 · 22/12/2023 11:35

I asked similar recently. I'm prettybsure that if you separated it would generally be considered theirs.

But, if joint finances, I would say joint inheritance.

Youcancallmeirrelevant · 22/12/2023 11:35

Its theirs to spend how they wish

TragicMuse · 22/12/2023 11:36

My parents aren't going to live forever so this is at the back of my mind...

My husband has no family to inherit from.

And we have separate finances. It works for us and is just how we've always done it.

I've thought about what I'll do and it's mainly things to do with our house. Things that will benefit both of us. Plus a college fund for our child. I would want something for myself, but it wouldn't all be for me. He's the man I love, why wouldn't I want him to have a share in it?

Chewbecca · 22/12/2023 11:39

We have separate finances so if I received one, it would be mine and vice versa.
BUT we don't really spend any money on ourselves, any spends would be for our home, holidays for us, on our DC etc. all of which are joint decisions. And if one of us has more, the other tops it up, we don't go 50/50 on anything, the bills are paid by whoever has the most cash at that time.

Babyroobs · 22/12/2023 11:48

My dh spent half of his on improving the house/ extension and garage conversion which has improved all our lives, he also paid off the rest of the mortgage which admittedly wasn't a huge amount left anyway. The rest he has kept to himself as he does not have a very good pension so will use the rest to retire a bit earlier than he would otherwise have been able to as his health is not great. I have a better pension so am ok. If I ever receive inheritance ( which I may not as it could all be needed for care) then it will be equally shared as family money or to help our kids.

caringcarer · 22/12/2023 12:29

I'm married for 18 years and we earn a similar salary so separate finances but both pay a set amount into our joint account for all bills including food. I got a smallish inheritance from an Aunt, I discussed with DH and suggested I buy a new door for our holiday home. He shrugged and said it was mine do as I pleased with it. Then I got another small inheritance from another Aunt. I paid for a new double glazing on holiday home and kept what was left. When Mum died I inherited along with my 4 sisters from the sale of the house. Again I asked DH what he thought we should do with it and DH said it's your money, do as you please. I bought a btl property. DH may or may not inherit from his Mum in the future from the sale of her house if she doesn't need a care home.

WhatWouldTheDoctorDo · 22/12/2023 14:29

Joint finances here, it would be family money. DH likely to inherit considerably more than me, but then I earn quite a bit more than him, so swings and roundabouts. I'll ask him what he wants to do with it when the time comes, and make sure he does something for himself, but ultimately I expect we'll decide together and it will most likely go towards mortgage, helping out D.C. with whatever stage they're and and a holiday.

Flubadubba · 22/12/2023 14:31

This is the property board, so most would spend it sensibly on their homes.

On AIBU? Who knows.

festivetinseling · 22/12/2023 14:32

DH inherited a large sum this year. He considered it family money, and we both discussed it and agreed what to do with it.

TodayForTomorrow · 22/12/2023 14:36

It would be considered family money but i would expect the inheriting spouse to have final say.

If they wanted to use it for a big family holiday, or a particular project or save it etc then that should be taken into account, but I wouldn't dream of using it just for myself and neither would my husband.

ChristmasinBurrRidge · 22/12/2023 14:37

I would consider it theirs to enjoy as they please.

Hopealong · 22/12/2023 15:07

Would be completely joint money for us. I find it really strange that people view it as their own money when they are in a long term relationship, with children, owning property together etc. But do see it quite often on Mumsnet

Celebrationsnakes · 22/12/2023 15:10

ChristmasinBurrRidge · 22/12/2023 14:37

I would consider it theirs to enjoy as they please.

Same here.

Whataretheodds · 22/12/2023 15:11

With a spouse I'd expect a sensible conversation. I'd want them to spend a bit on themselves and the majority to go on sensible choices - considering eg are there unsecured debts to pay off, is there a pension shortfall, is there work needed on the house, does one partner need to invest in retraining, medium to long term investment for growth.

If they spend it all on themselves without considering wider family context I'd wonder about their view of the partnership.

70isaLimitNotaTarget · 22/12/2023 15:15

I inherited some last year , my DH said it was 100% mine not joint money.

I spent some on the DC , gave them some for savings and took DH on a mini- break in Europe . So we all had share.

changename01 · 22/12/2023 15:15

All our money is and always has been joint. When DH's parents died his inheritance went into our joint account. When mine died the same happened.

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