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Original poster

Inheritance Money

87 replies

LincsLady22 · 22/12/2023 11:11

If your spouse received a large chunk of inheritance, would you consider it theirs to spend on themselves as they wish? Or for you to decide how to spend together for the family?

OP posts:

Hummusanddipdip · 25/12/2023 06:26

Dh received a not insignificant inheritance earlier this year. I was very adamant it was his money. He put it in the joint savings account and it was spent converting the garage into a study and a utility room.

It took me (and parental input) well over 3 months to convince him to, but he also used a good portion to buy himself a guitar he's wanted for a few years, as I wanted him to have something tangible, not just add value to our home.

We talked about it and he kept coming back to the argument that if it was me receiving the money I'd be doing similar - works on the house/family holiday/new car etc. All true, but equally, I would buy myself a something too.

Scarletttulips · 25/12/2023 08:33

Inheritance is ring fenced in the event of divorce so it’s the individuals to decide

Only if it’s kept separate. Once invested in joint projects or in joint names - like paying a part of the mortgage off - it becomes joint.

You can buy a property separately and it will still be your inheritance.

To some degree it is or should be about the state of your marriage.

Those who are insisting it’s joint aren’t looking into the future.

DH and I and likely to inherit similar amounts. I don’t want his family money - It’s his loss and his parents and he should do what he wants with it.

Mine will go to the children to buy homes with.

MarieG10 · 25/12/2023 09:53

Scarletttulips · 25/12/2023 08:33

Inheritance is ring fenced in the event of divorce so it’s the individuals to decide

Only if it’s kept separate. Once invested in joint projects or in joint names - like paying a part of the mortgage off - it becomes joint.

You can buy a property separately and it will still be your inheritance.

To some degree it is or should be about the state of your marriage.

Those who are insisting it’s joint aren’t looking into the future.

DH and I and likely to inherit similar amounts. I don’t want his family money - It’s his loss and his parents and he should do what he wants with it.

Mine will go to the children to buy homes with.

Even this is not correct. The divorce laws in the country are a disgrace for stripping a wealthier spouse of inheritance etc to feed often the greed and entitlement of the other spouse ...and in today's world, not increasingly women. Easiest frankly is not get married

Rapunzel91 · 25/12/2023 18:53

I’m married so shared money. However, if my husband received an inheritance because someone closed to him passed away I’d 100% not claim it as mine. He’d probably spend it on something that benefitted the family but I would leave it for him to decide.

Krampers · 25/12/2023 19:24

My dh will likely inherit a substantial amount possibly more than once as he is a only child with childless uncle, aunt and very close godparent- I have been the higher earner thus far for several years and supported him during a part time phd so I more than expect it to be shared.

onthefence23 · 25/12/2023 19:50

We pool all money. DH inherited and it went to a house move (still pending lol) I encouraged him to treat himself and he spent £40 on vinted and thought it a splurge lol

TheLurpackYears · 25/12/2023 20:01

I inherited, I considered and used it as family money. Now I'm getting divorced and I wish I hadn't.

WallaceinAnderland · 25/12/2023 20:07

If married, joint.

drad · 25/12/2023 20:08

I received some inheritance when my mum died. Bought a 10K car as ours was not really working and old diesel. Bought new windows for the house and paid to get house re-rendered. I paid for myself and a long term friend (who I've known since I was 8 and who knew my mum really well) to go to a nice restaurant and show to celebrate my mums life and I bought a new phone. The rest is invested and ISAs etc and my husband is clear it's my money but he is likely to inherit BIG when his parents die (prob not for 20 years).

FindingMeno · 25/12/2023 20:19

My view is that inheritance should be solely for the intended recipient.
If I were rich I would want my dc's to benefit without any risk of them being potentially coerced into poor decisions by a partner.

WolfFoxHare · 25/12/2023 20:27

I recently inherited a little less than £100k. I indulged myself with quite a few trinkets I’ve had my eye on for a while, plus my car was on its last legs so we replaced that. The rest will be treated as joint money - although ultimately I’ll get more say in how we spend it, it will be used for the benefit of the whole family. Actually the car was indirectly for the benefit of the family as I mainly use it for shuttling DS around, and if my old car had given up prior to getting the inheritance, we’d have used joint funds to buy a new one - just something less fancy.

buckeejit · 25/12/2023 22:05

Hmm, we'd share but neither of us has big wants or needs. I should get about £80k soon when my parents estate is wrapped up. Dh has about £100k half tied up from sort of early inheritance. I want to buy a buy to let property that may be suitable either for us to downsize to, or for dc to move to, (one has a chronic illness so may need support).

I'm not sure that there's anything else we can invest in & get a small reliable regular income from. I've often wanted to have an air bnb by the sea but it's a lot of work & not reliable income. We're lucky that we've paid off our mortgage but I'll be looking for a job in the new year having had 6 months off. We haven't much spare income but don't need much, though I know we should be working on a buffer!

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