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Original poster

Inheritance Money

87 replies

LincsLady22 · 22/12/2023 11:11

If your spouse received a large chunk of inheritance, would you consider it theirs to spend on themselves as they wish? Or for you to decide how to spend together for the family?

OP posts:
Pickles2023 · 23/12/2023 08:11

Family Money, but he could have final say on how family benefitted.

With any gifts, bonus, we generally list ways it could be used to benefit. Savings, debts, kids, things we need, then pick which one is most needed at time.

We have always pooled money and think of everything equal.

But its probably easy for us as there is a level playing field without one coming in with more than other.

brawnthesheep · 23/12/2023 08:28

I think it depends on the amount tbh. I would expect more shared from 500k vs 50k.

rookiemere · 23/12/2023 08:32

Family money, but the person inheriting would get the casting vote in what the money is spent on.
We both have inherited reasonable lump sums from relatives passing and we each put it into the mortgage.

housethatbuiltme · 23/12/2023 18:47

Theirs, it was left to them not you and if from their great loss not yours.

I invested mine in a home.

I am leaving it to my kids... NOT my kids future spouse (I owe them nothing) but to my kids to secure and improve THEIR future. I hope they invest it in such a way that it grows and they can pass it down in some for to their children (my grandchildren) to give them something to improve their situation and so on.

Couples usually benefit from this anyway (DH benefited by having a secure rent and mortgage free home to live comfortably in, he benefits from free housing now) but its not a 'joint' say. It was my choice to buy a house and final say on which house. He does not get to override me or object to MY inheritance, he will be getting his own some day to do what he wants with.

SusanKennedyshouldLTB · 23/12/2023 18:53

I would consider it his. But I would pay close attention to what he did with it.

TestingOneTwoThree · 23/12/2023 19:03

It's family money but the person inheriting gets to keep a small proportion to buy something personal to remember them by.

When it was my inheritance I bought jewellery with the rest going to pay the mortgage.

Nail123 · 23/12/2023 19:59

I would keep it probably but I earn very little and my husband is a high earner!

SonicAllanKey · 23/12/2023 20:03

We share all income 50/50 and inheritance is the same.

Hairychristmas · 23/12/2023 20:05

I inherited £15k. We revamped our bathroom and used the rest to reduce the mortgage. We have totally shared finances though and are married.

DisforDarkChocolate · 23/12/2023 20:12

I'm really not sure. Anything for me would go into my sole account. If it was for my husband he doesn't have a sole account, only our joint account.

I know what the practical thing to do would be, money off the mortgage etc. However, I know this may happen in the next year and I can't imagine feeling able to spend it.

AllAroundMyCat · 23/12/2023 20:51

It was put into the family pot.

MarieG10 · 23/12/2023 23:31

Disagree about being family money to an extent and the same argument was had about married couples taxation when a wife was effectively a chattel, although current child benefit rules seem to reinstate that.
If my DH inherited then I see it as his money, same as me. My expectation the vast majority would be invested. However, if he was to spend it on something very individual to him, I would expect a discussion and vice versa. I think what makes it different is a married couple living near the line and struggling, for one to then receive an inheritance and blitz it

VeniVidiWeeWee · 25/12/2023 00:03

Dacadactyl · 22/12/2023 19:20

If either of us inherited money it would be family money.

And if my DH thought otherwise he'd have a shock coming cos I wouldn't stand for it.

And precisely what would you do about it?

HeddaGarbled · 25/12/2023 00:09

I sort of feel the inheritor should have final say if they’re going to be reasonable about it, but if they’re intending to keep it in personal savings or spaff it on a sports car or whatever whilst your struggling with day to day living costs, that’s unreasonable.

OutOfOrder67 · 25/12/2023 00:12

It would be family money

SparkyBlue · 25/12/2023 00:21

It would be family money

LaviniasBigBloomers · 25/12/2023 00:30

But what does 'family money' mean, really? Inheritance is primarily a way of passing money down through the generations so what does family money look like in a blended family?

If I had kids from a previous relationship and inherited from my parents, I'd look at ways to preserve that money for MY kids, whether that's though paying off debt, putting in trust, clearing mortgages and changing percentages or whatever.

In a non-blended family, well our money is shared but equally the inheritor should have a bigger say. If they want to buy a watch or put something into a pension, fine. It also depends where you are in life - my DH inherited something (not a lot) when we were quite young and it basically meant we could find a deposit and buy a house. Wouldn't have thought about anything else, but at that time we were both desperate to get on the ladder and were struggling. That's totally different to where we are now.

LovelaceBiggWither · 25/12/2023 00:31

We're older and mortgage-free. DH inherited a small amount that just went into the joint account. He inherited a larger amount which is in the joint account but he is mostly spending on projects which I wouldn't be happy funding.

I stand to inherit substantial money and that will be ringfenced as my parents don't want a cent of it to go to his adult child who they have met twice (live in different countries). DH knows this and is fine with it.

14Q · 25/12/2023 00:36

I really think it depends but generally it's should be joint money.

Mumsnet does often suggest if it's a women who has the inheritance it's hers but if it's a male who gets the money it's shared.

My husband and I would share.

saraclara · 25/12/2023 00:46

It depends

On the amount
On the length of the relationship
On the quality of the relationship
Whether there are children
How finances are handled in general
... And loads more. For instance the pp who mentioned her husband putting it into his (otherwise poor) retirement fund. That seems really sensible to me.

I have to say it's a bit hard to read some of these posts about multiple inheritances. My parents', in-laws' and grandparents' savings and houses all went on their care. Nothing left at all.
I'm okay, but it would have made a massive difference to my children for me to have passed inheritance money down. We live in an expensive party of the country for housing, and they struggle.

FiveShelties · 25/12/2023 00:47

I have just inherited from my Mum who died in May. The money is family money, we share all income, we are a team.

We cannot decide what to do with it as it does not feel as though it is ours - weird I know.

Wingingitbestican · 25/12/2023 00:49

I got 50k early inheritance- paid a chunk off our mortgage- so definitely see it as family money. DH would do the same. No his and hers in this household, all joint and shared

saraclara · 25/12/2023 00:58

This is largely a thread for boasting about the quality of ones marriage, isn't it?

I clearly have an evil side, because smugness leads me into dark thoughts! Grin

FiveShelties · 25/12/2023 01:16

saraclara · 25/12/2023 00:58

This is largely a thread for boasting about the quality of ones marriage, isn't it?

I clearly have an evil side, because smugness leads me into dark thoughts! Grin

Is that your smugness, or what you consider to be other people's 😏 that leads you to dark thoughts?

Twiglets1 · 25/12/2023 06:05

saraclara · 25/12/2023 00:58

This is largely a thread for boasting about the quality of ones marriage, isn't it?

I clearly have an evil side, because smugness leads me into dark thoughts! Grin

No, I think people are just being honest.

I inherited quite a large chunk of money and although we have always had just a joint account, I surprised myself by choosing to open a high interest savings account in my name only. My husband was absolutely ok with that as he knows I don’t have much of a pension.

However I did use some to buy a new car which although I benefit from it too, was really something he wanted. He chose the make & model, we call it his car and it’s registered in his name. We both drive it though.

I will also pay off our small mortgage when our current fixed rate deal comes to an end in 2024 so that will benefit us equally.