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Original poster

Week of Exchange and seen better property….!

74 replies

EdgarAllenRaven · 20/11/2023 00:41

We’ve been in a chain for 5 months, having viewed our property several times and the Vendors have been so unbelievably kind… even when our buyer fell through, we got another buyer at a lesser price and they offered a discount to cover the gap!

But now, the week of our exchange, we have seen a better property, Bigger space, extended, bigger garden, bigger bedrooms, closer to station.
If we could get it, it would be a forever home.
whereas the original one needs a lot of work and has a smaller footprint and garden in general.

I would feel so awful pulling out… but I just know in my gut that I have to put an offer in tomorrow.

what should I do? Is it mad to risk everything for a new house?
And if we were to pull out, what reason could I possibly give…?! I can’t believe I’m about to be this wanker that ruins people’s lives!

FWIW they have already moved into their onward so would not lose that, at least. But I know they’ve been needing the money all this time. And I’ve developed a good rapport with their agent who also wants to be paid… feeling guilty.
(We would still sell and go into rental so other parties not affected)

OP posts:
OutOfSyncWithReality · 20/11/2023 00:50

You have to go for it. It's a shit system but it is what it is. Put your future first.

Pinkpinkpink15 · 20/11/2023 00:59

Sitting on the fence.

your vendors have been good to you, really good. Yes they've moved but without this sale you could be putting them in a position where they are fucked financially. They might have bridging finance.

OTOH it's a huge financial commitment for you and if you've found something better...

outside of this moral dilemma, how would you feel if you if pull out of the sale you're in already but don't get 'the new house' ?

thebraispink · 20/11/2023 01:08

Thing is why were you still looking?

That's always what I'd ask myself, you clearly weren't 100%. When we offered and accepted back last year I can't say I even glanced, my focus was on getting our new house, so I wonder if somewhere you were questioning your decision.

Growlybear83 · 20/11/2023 01:16

I suppose I would have to think whether I would be able to sleep tomorrow night knowing what I'd done to the other couple if you put in an offer on the new house which is accepted, and then pull out of your current purchase. But if you can live with your conscience and don't worry about karma, then go for it.

FlipsSakeMum · 20/11/2023 01:27

We have the system we have and that means you can drop out for any reason before exchange. I think I would if I were you. I'd feel bad but I'd put myself and my family first.

You haven't messed anyone around on purpose and you haven't been deceitful.

You want to be really, really sure about the other house though and you want to be really sure that your offer is accepted etc.

I'd also worry that the agent from the new house doesn't hear about you backing out of the old house.

FlipsSakeMum · 20/11/2023 01:28

Karma is bollox so that wouldn't bother me

HeddaGarbled · 20/11/2023 01:29

I can’t believe I’m about to be this wanker that ruins people’s lives

So don’t.

CremeBrunette · 20/11/2023 01:55

We sold our house earlier this year and we had multiple offers, which if this house is much better than anything else on the market at the minute it will probably have the same. Our buyers pulled out of a previous sale because they saw ours and so we initially didn’t accept their offer and went with another offer. We only accepted their offer because the other offer pulled out straight away. We weren’t comfortable though, knowing our buyers had already pulled out one sale after it been going on for months, we never trusted them. So there isn’t a guarantee that you will get the new house and even if you do, the vendors probably won’t trust you. It could still go through without them trusting you, ours did, but they will probably have a very low tolerance for reducing the price if something comes to light on the survey, if you want to reduce the price due to market conditions. Also what if they aren’t serious about their onward purchase and you end up stuck renting, waiting for an equally perfect house.

Twiglets1 · 20/11/2023 04:41

This is such a hard moral dilemma and I think sometimes you don’t know how you would react unless you are in the same position.

We have been in your shoes and we did withdraw a few days before Exchange and yes, bought the other property. The original property we were buying, I had doubts throughout the process but it was the best thing on the market at the time and we had impatient people buying our house so we were under pressure to find somewhere. But with the new house, I had no doubts.

It’s very hard to pull out of a house purchase so late if you are someone with a conscience who normally treats people nicely. But it sounds like you already know you are going to have to do it. Assuming you can actually get the new house at an acceptable price, you probably do need to make the hard decision. As bad as it may make you feel, you can’t spend hundreds of thousands of pounds on buying the wrong house.

Roselilly36 · 20/11/2023 05:08

Legally you can pull out without financial consequence, it will cause considerable upset to others, but you already know that.

Check out rentals in your area, not many available and very high cost, due to demand/lack of supply.

You will effectively be starting the new purchase again, so more solicitor fees, survey/valuation, searches etc. also two lots of removal fees to move into rental and then the onward purchase, rent so factor that all in.

You need to do what’s right for you OP, we have only ever pulled out of one investment purchase, due to adverse survey, solicitor was understanding, EA were much less understanding shall we say. So expect a similar response when you call them.

Friedtofuandbeans · 20/11/2023 05:28

I couldn’t do it unless I was already having doubts about house number 1. I’d be worried house number 2 wasn’t the right one and karma would come back and bite me. I’d pretend I’d not seen it. Also, you don’t know you’ll get it anyway? Other bids could be coming in already.

BCBird · 20/11/2023 05:30

I was wondering why you were still looking too?

GreatGateauxsby · 20/11/2023 05:33

Have you viewed the second house???
If you are pulling out you are pulling out. It’s your prerogative… I’ve done it myself. My vendors were rude and awful so less remorse but still. Buying a house is a practical financial decision not a #bekind exercise

I think the thing to consider is what if you don’t get either? Would you be okay with it knowing you shot for the moon and unfortunately missed or would you be gutted because you needed to move to x location by X date.

FlatWhiteExtraHot · 20/11/2023 05:38

It’s funny because a thread a couple of weeks ago where the vendor was saying this happened to them, everyone was calling the buyer who pulled out not fit to burn.

This thread will go in entirely the opposite direction.

Barleycat · 20/11/2023 05:42

Don't do it, what's to say you won't get this house and see another you want more and on and on it goes. Do you really want to fuck these people over so close to Christmas?

WaitingfortheTardis · 20/11/2023 05:47

I would stick with the one you are buying, think of all the reasons you chose it. It's likely to be a case of ' the grass is always greener'. Would your buyers wait while you go through the whole process again? Maybe unlikely, especially as you will have proven yourselves unreliable. I also wouldn't accept an offer from you if I was the seller as I'd be concerned you'd cost me money and do the same again.

PersephonePomegranate23 · 20/11/2023 05:55

I couldn't be such a cunt, personally.

Yes, it's a huge financial decision, but you thought the house was good enough to endure five months of wrangling over.

honeyandfizz · 20/11/2023 06:15

As horrible as it is you have to go for the other one. It is a shit system in England but there it is, you simply cannot spend ££££ because you feel bad.

sep135 · 20/11/2023 06:25

I changed my buyer a week before exchange. Old buyers were a total PITA and all goodwill had been lost very early on. A family came forward to say they'd submitted a much higher offer that hadn't been passed on to us.

I felt really bad but the difference was £50k and it was too much to turn down. Our original buyer's mother had a heart attack and died on the completion day which I still feel bad about 15 years later.

I think I'd offer on the other house but put £2k or so towards your vendor's legal fees. That way I'd feel marginally less guilty.

floofbag · 20/11/2023 06:26

I don't think anyone else would save your feelings if it was them and a house is such a big purchase that you are stuck with .

Do what is right for your family .

Lougle · 20/11/2023 06:32

I think a house is too big of a purchase to settle. If it genuinely is better in every way, you need to at least look at it.

Hairyfairy01 · 20/11/2023 06:34

Are you sure rental property is easy to come by in your area OP? The competition for rentals is high here, so many families going after the same property.
Have you actually viewed this new house? What if the survey came back with all kinds of issues / the venders pulled out / the venders can't find a house they want to buy for several months / the venders get involved in a long chain that breaks down? Are you willing to potentially miss out on both houses? If the new house is that great maybe they may have lots of offers, yours may not be accepted especially as you are a risky buyer now.
I'm not sure I could to be honest, too many risks, plus the upheaval of finding and moving into a rental.

Twiglets1 · 20/11/2023 06:45

FlatWhiteExtraHot · 20/11/2023 05:38

It’s funny because a thread a couple of weeks ago where the vendor was saying this happened to them, everyone was calling the buyer who pulled out not fit to burn.

This thread will go in entirely the opposite direction.

It won’t- this thread is already very mixed in the reactions with some people saying yes you must pull out if you can buy a better house, it’s a big financial decision, etc and others talking about bad karma and how they couldn’t possibly do it themselves and OP shouldn’t have been even keeping an eye on Rightmove after they offered on the other house.

Without any doubt it’s a dick move to pull out just before Exchange. @EdgarAllenRaven already acknowledged that and I owned it too when I did it. It’s a horrible thing to do but sometimes in life you do have to be selfish and do what’s best for you and your family even if it’s to the detriment of someone else.

itsallnewnow · 20/11/2023 06:49

Go see it before you make a decision! We thought this happened to us and guiltily went to visit the new one.

On paper it was perfect, in reality not so much!! I was tearing myself up over what we would do if we wanted to make an offer but turns out there was nothing to worry about it

Mooshroo · 20/11/2023 06:50

Don’t worry about it. Pull out if you have an offer accepted on the other property. Tell your seller it’s just a “change in circumstances”