Week of Exchange and seen better property….!

[EdgarAllenRaven]

We’ve been in a chain for 5 months, having viewed our property several times and the Vendors have been so unbelievably kind… even when our buyer fell through, we got another buyer at a lesser price and they offered a discount to cover the gap!

But now, the week of our exchange, we have seen a better property, Bigger space, extended, bigger garden, bigger bedrooms, closer to station.
If we could get it, it would be a forever home.
whereas the original one needs a lot of work and has a smaller footprint and garden in general.

I would feel so awful pulling out… but I just know in my gut that I have to put an offer in tomorrow.

what should I do? Is it mad to risk everything for a new house?
And if we were to pull out, what reason could I possibly give…?! I can’t believe I’m about to be this wanker that ruins people’s lives!

FWIW they have already moved into their onward so would not lose that, at least. But I know they’ve been needing the money all this time. And I’ve developed a good rapport with their agent who also wants to be paid… feeling guilty.
(We would still sell and go into rental so other parties not affected)

@SuddenlyOld eh? Are you sure that’s right?

Do you actually know that much about this other house? You've not viewed it, or surveyed it- there might be major issues.
If it really is that amazing, the vendor might get loads of offers and take better offer than you can afford, and then you'll end up with nothing.
I agree the system is terrible, unfortunately there's no security for anyone involved until you exchange and the vendors know this, and you can't buy the wrong house just to be kind.
However, I would be very cautious. It's such a volatile market. Also some houses look amazing on Rightmove and then there are serious issues in reality. It sounds a bit too good to be true from what you say - which makes me wonder whether it's either got some hidden issue or is likely to go for well over the asking price (if it really is that good)
I think the bigger issue is you seem unsure about the current house. Can you move back the exchange date to give yourself more time?

Just because something is legal doesn’t make it right. Just because something ‘is best for you and your family’ doesn’t make it right. Just because other people would make a specific choice doesn’t make that choice right. Just because an action causes harm to a person you don’t know or you will never see the impact of that harm doesn’t make an action right.

Your real choice is to do the right thing (or not) and as you have posted this here I suspect you know what the right thing to do is. If you do the wrong thing you will find a way to justify it in your head (using the legal, family, ‘out of sight out of mind’ or ‘other people’ justifications, ) but you will always know what you did was wrong. Whether that bothers you or not will give you an insight into what sort of person you are.

Looks better on paper

Much bigger , bigger plot and better location

Certainly around here price drops over the last 5 months have not been significant enough to bring a notably better class of house down a price bracket

Sounds too good to be true - suspect it's a cheap Reno that looks good when fresh or will end up with lots of survey issues

Yes

https://www.mygov.scot/buying-a-home

Oh you mean once the missives are concluded?

Missives tend to be concluded very early in the process as the home buyers report is done once by a solicitor engaged by the vendor and you can see it before you even view a home

The evidence is in the data - a chain in England is at least twice as likely to collapse as a chain in Scotland

I can't begin to imagine getting as far as exchange and then being willing to start all over again. I was desperate to move by the time we exchanged in July this year. The house wasn't perfect when we put in the offer but by the time we got to exchange I'd fallen head over heels for it.

Ethically, I think it would be awful if you pulled out but legally there's nothing to stop you. I was holding my breath until exchange was confirmed for that very reason.

Yes I totally understand, no disputing it’s a better process here.

Years ago,we had a buyer pull out AFTER exchange of contracts, worse still,they didn't even tell us! Developers were demolishing a former bakery, buying our property to house the tenants. We had exchanged contracts,packed,had a moving date. THEN I read in our local paper, the developer had pulled out. I rang the tenant who was abusive, then our solicitor,who eventually confirmed. This was a big building company,we couldn't afford to sue for breach of contract. I lost a stone in a week,and had a nervous breakdown. I would never do that to anyone.

Well we have actually viewed the 2nd house and it looks well taken care of.

But Update: estate agent has advised that it's had a lot of interest and will probably go for a higher offer than ours... so that makes the decision for us. Quite a relief actually!

We have decided to revert to Plan A, do up the doer-upper, and my conscience is all the better for it.

Thank you for all the advice Mumsnetters.

We also lost a lot of money in aborted legal fees.

When I questioned what the PP was saying it was just when they said about making an offer. I was thinking about the initial offer that means seller takes house off market rather than the missives. That’s what confused me!

Oh that’s good OP. You can try and put it out of your mind.

Bear in mind you might not get this property. What if your offer is accepted and then the sale falls through? What if the vendor of the nicer property doesn't give you a straight answer, or it goes to sealed bids and you lose out. You'd have nowhere to move to.

What if the sale is agreed but there is a long delay on the move (DS rec ently bought a flat - no chain - and it still took eight months to complete due to slow paperwork from vendors solicitors.) Your buyers might get pissed off at this new delay and pull out. Then you have no buyers and the vendors might pull out. All that time and money.

It's a very risky decision because your chain could collapse as a result.

Cruel as it is to pull out, I don't think anyone should spend hundreds of thousands of pounds and live in a place they don't love just to avoid upsetting someone they don't know. It's too big a life decision. But if you do go ahead, as a goodwill gesture, as PP said, I would offer some financial compensation for legal fees to the seller.

Ah well, that's good OP, you can use the elements you liked about house 2 as your renovation inspo!

The house we bought was also very popular and we were buying in a much stronger market than this one.

Nevertheless, the EA of house 2 liked us as buyers because we were already close to Exchange on our own house and there were no issues with the survey or anything else. They could see how passionate we were about the new house because we didn't even try to play it cool and told them the whole story about how we were close to Exchange on another house but this one was perfect for us. Also, we said we would do everything within our power to complete within 2 months including not having a survey done. This was music to their ears & the Sellers as they wanted a quick sale.

Every case is different. I agree that if 2 buyers were identical they would choose a potential flaky buyer over a known flaky one, but buyers never are exactly the same.

Crossed posts with you, OP. Glad you are happy with your decision.

Just seen the update - it's good that you viewed it at least @EdgarAllenRaven and know the whole situation so you can feel better about your choice.

Hope everything works out ok for you.

It looks like the other house was underpriced and you'd have ended up overbid and losing both- if it hadn't been, I'd have suspected there was a problem with it if it was so much better and not a lot more money.
I think you've done the right thing all round, OP. Doing up your own is tough, I know it, but you do know everything has been done right. And you have nothing to reproach yourself with, either- nobody has been hurt.

That would have been such a dick move. I bet the estate agents just said that to put you off.

I don't blame you btw. Just it's not a decent think to do.

Glad to hear that you are reverting to Plan A. Pulling out at this stage would have been an awful thing to do, and the fact that you asked the question means that you are probably not the kind of person who could do it and sleep soundly afterwards.

@ClematisBlue49 you are right, it would have haunted me for years! I pride myself on being quite an honest and moral person who acts with integrity, so this dilemma had me thrown… let’s call it a mad half hour! Makes sense that we couldn’t probably in truth afford the bigger and better house… I’ll prob be forever wondering if we would have got it!

It would have been a truly awful thing to do to the seller OP, but I understand why you felt so torn. What a horrible dilemma to have been in, but it seems as if it's actually all worked out for the best for everyone.

There's an old saying that I like which is "what's for you won't go by you" - and I believe wholeheartedly in the sentiment. You weren't meant to have this bigger house, at least not at this moment.

You might surprise yourself and really fall in love with your new house once you've moved in. We moved into a fixer-upper and there's something rather lovely in being able to make it your own.

At least you know you enquired, and were told that it was out of your financial comfort zone so no need to brood on it. Good luck with your purchase!