Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Property/DIY

Join our Property forum for renovation, DIY, and house selling advice.

Original poster

Refusing permanent council housing

163 replies

UFK · 30/06/2023 00:52

I am staying in a temporary accommodation for 2 years given by the council and have just been offered a permanent flat by council on the 2nd floor.

I am a single mother of 3 daughters, all under the age of 7 and i do not have any family in UK. My ex partner is not giving me consent to take my girls abroad to visit my family, especially my elderly parents. My girls have never met my parents. I had made a court application to be allowed to take them for a visit without his consent but it was dismissed by the judge.

Now my elderly parents, both in their 70s and 80s have applied and received a 5 year visa to visit me and my girls in UK as we cannot visit them.

Both of them are incapable of walking up a flight of stairs and have to stay with me during their visits because of their advanced age and inability to speak English.

They will not be able visit me if I live on a 2nd floor. My girls and me will be isolated with no family in uk, no means to travel to them and for them not able to visit us either. I have on these grounds refused the 2nd floor property and requested for one with a lift or a ground floor one.

I have been warned that this is not a valid reason to refuse and the council could discharge me of the housing duty and I may get evicted.

What is the best way to deal with this if the council does indeed discharge me and I am evicted??

OP posts:
Mrsjayy · 30/06/2023 00:56

You might need to.privately rent a house they can't just add on your parents to your housing application.

Danikm151 · 30/06/2023 00:58

They’re right. They can’t consider guests when it comes to housing you.

LadyWiddiothethird · 30/06/2023 00:59

Take the flat or be homeless.Your parents are not relevant to your housing situation.Private rentals are in short supply and expensive.

Trez1510 · 30/06/2023 01:06

I agree. Their legal responsibility is to identify and offer you accommodation for your current circumstances not what they might be should your parents (or anyone else) visit you.

Doggydarling · 30/06/2023 01:12

Wow, you're actually considering rejecting a home for you and your children because it's not suitable for prospective guests?? I'm absolutely stunned at the entitlement of some people.

AlfietheSchnauzer · 30/06/2023 01:14

Yeah you don't seem to realise how little housing there is compared with how many are in need of it! You absolutely cannot turn down a 2nd floor property without a medical reason relating to you or your children. Guests absolutely do not count, we do not have enough properties for that kind of luxury!

After living there a year, you could always list on the home exchange groups on Facebook? See if someone else in a council or housing association property, would like to swap with you? You have to live in your property for one year first but after that you could move across the country if you wish! Some people need to be in a certain area and won’t care if it's 2nd floor. You may even end up with something really nice!

AndTheSurveySays · 30/06/2023 01:14

You want the council to take people that are not even in this country into consideration when housing you? Absolutely crazy.

You need to accept the accommodation. Why can't your parents pay for their own accommodation when visiting? It's not normal to expect for another country to pay for your accommodation.

wildfirewonder · 30/06/2023 01:15

You have to take the flat, they can't consider your parents.

wildfirewonder · 30/06/2023 01:17

AndTheSurveySays · 30/06/2023 01:14

You want the council to take people that are not even in this country into consideration when housing you? Absolutely crazy.

You need to accept the accommodation. Why can't your parents pay for their own accommodation when visiting? It's not normal to expect for another country to pay for your accommodation.

Calm down and stay polite.

The parents would stay in op's home.

AndTheSurveySays · 30/06/2023 01:19

I was perfectly polite Confused

The op is expecting her local council to consider visitors when housing her. She expect the council to effectively house her parents.

wildfirewonder · 30/06/2023 01:23

AndTheSurveySays · 30/06/2023 01:19

I was perfectly polite Confused

The op is expecting her local council to consider visitors when housing her. She expect the council to effectively house her parents.

If you read the op, the back story is difficult and upsetting. Just a little sensitivity rather than 'absolutely crazy' wouldn't kill you.

If the op had been offered a ground floor flat the relatives would stay.

The issue is the op needs to accept the flat for herself & her kids.

Dontfuckingsaycheese · 30/06/2023 01:30

Are you saying they’re coming to stay with you for 5 years op? Would they be able to go halfsies with you on a private rental that’s likely to be twice the rent you’d be paying on your council flat?

SD1978 · 30/06/2023 01:32

I'm afraid it's not that simple- as you can tell, after 2 years in temporary accomodation there aren't that many permanent houses. And to refuse you need a good reason, that affects you personally. I don't fancy because my parents are visiting probably won't be something they consider- which could possibly mean that the responsibility is yours to find private accomodation- I don't think you have the right of refusal that often with no real reason, before they leave you to get on with it on your own

AndTheSurveySays · 30/06/2023 01:36

If the op had been offered a ground floor flat the relatives would stay

Exactly. The op and her parents are expecting the council to house them during their visit. It is crazy to expect that. The op needs to know it's completely unrealistic.

Reugny · 30/06/2023 02:04

Accept the flat otherwise you will have to find your own private rental. With 3 children under 7 and the cost of private rentals this would be extremely difficult.

The council don't have a duty to house your parents because they live permanently overseas and when they visit you they are guests.

If your parents did live in the UK and were eligible for council housing they would be housed separately from you anyway in housing that only those who are over 60+ can live in.

Changethetoner · 30/06/2023 02:32

Could your parents stay in a hotel nearby? Having them stay with you would be overcrowded, unless you manage to find (and afford) a larger place.

Trez1510 · 30/06/2023 02:37

If you are in receipt of housing benefit/UC, I'd also seek advice from CAB regarding any impact having long-term visitors may have on your eligibility. It may be your parents would be expected to contribute after a certain period. I would imagine at some point they would be considered members of the household rather than temporary visitors. Best to check.

misssunshine4040 · 30/06/2023 02:56

Have you seen the state of the housing situation in the UK?
You are in temp accommodation and have been offered permanent housing.
You should be grabbing it with both hands and be grateful that you have a permanent home for your girls.
It's not the councils responsibility to consider your family who don't live in the country.

I'm sorry you feel isolated and your ex is being awful but your seriously cannot expect the council to consider this when there is so little housing available.

Throwncrumbs · 30/06/2023 03:11

Two people coming to the uk to visit you are NOT going to be considered in your housing application. This is why this country is such a mess. The entitlement of some people is astounding!

TheLadyofShalott1 · 30/06/2023 03:22

@UFK The council will not be allowed to make your children homeless and to live on the street, but they will do that to you if you turn down the property they offer for no valid reason, and wanting your parents to stay with you is not a valid reason in todays climate. Social Services will have to take your children into care if you voluntarily make them homeless like that.

Please go to a Citizens Advice Bureau (CAB) for advice - not because I think they will be able to give you any other advice, but because I think that you probably need to hear it in person, from a definitely non biased person, that you do trust.

EmmaGrundyForPM · 30/06/2023 03:27

As others have said, you need to take the permanent housing offer. The only alternative is a private rental which might be impossible to find and would not give stability. You might find yourself having to move regularly if you rent privately.

I'm really sorry you can't visit your parents abroad. If they want to visit you then find a hotel or Air B&B near the new flat and you can see them lots.

dancinginthesky · 30/06/2023 03:35

Sadly as everyone is saying, your reason for refusing would bump you off the list and there isn't choice for people with property from the council

Does it have a lift?

Private renting is the only way to manage housing parents and girls on ground floor- ground floor property goes to disabled these days mostly - you get the odd few who get lucky but disabled people can't climb stairs as easily or exit in emergencies as fast so it's sensible for councils to place medical priorities on the ground floor and everyone else higher up

What you can do is accept the property and see how it goes- 2nd floor isn't impossible for me, not ideal but at a push I can visit people on a 2nd floor from time to time (I'm disabled but not a full time wheelchair user yet) - and should your parents become permanent members of your household, you put them on the tenancy providing they don't own any property and voila - overcrowded and elderly people to move to ground and a larger property- it would probably take years but that's the only way to house you all together elsewhere eventually

I live on the top floor and I'm finally having to consider I'm going to need rehousing lower down to manage however there is a lift but I'm becoming a fire risk to the building in an emergency, I could get in peoples way being slower - as a medical priority I'm probably looking at 3-5 years before they find me somewhere

Don't give up a council tenancy - accept it, even if later you decide to private rent. At least save some money on the rent initially to have deposit, removal costs etc as private you gotta be ready to move if a landlord decides to end a tenancy.

Nicecow · 30/06/2023 03:40

Throwncrumbs · 30/06/2023 03:11

Two people coming to the uk to visit you are NOT going to be considered in your housing application. This is why this country is such a mess. The entitlement of some people is astounding!

I agree with this, I find this attitude shocking

dancinginthesky · 30/06/2023 03:52

What you might consider OP is finding a static caravan for your parents - it may be cheaper than other accommodation or even a motor home and pitch - an older one can be found on a budget and renovated very comfortably- and lovely space for older people and grandchildren to hang out usually

Igmum · 30/06/2023 04:03

Take the flat and try to swap. I agree it's a dreadful situation but you really don't have a choice here. I like the idea of a caravan nearby

Swipe left for the next trending thread