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Original poster

Refusing permanent council housing

163 replies

UFK · 30/06/2023 00:52

I am staying in a temporary accommodation for 2 years given by the council and have just been offered a permanent flat by council on the 2nd floor.

I am a single mother of 3 daughters, all under the age of 7 and i do not have any family in UK. My ex partner is not giving me consent to take my girls abroad to visit my family, especially my elderly parents. My girls have never met my parents. I had made a court application to be allowed to take them for a visit without his consent but it was dismissed by the judge.

Now my elderly parents, both in their 70s and 80s have applied and received a 5 year visa to visit me and my girls in UK as we cannot visit them.

Both of them are incapable of walking up a flight of stairs and have to stay with me during their visits because of their advanced age and inability to speak English.

They will not be able visit me if I live on a 2nd floor. My girls and me will be isolated with no family in uk, no means to travel to them and for them not able to visit us either. I have on these grounds refused the 2nd floor property and requested for one with a lift or a ground floor one.

I have been warned that this is not a valid reason to refuse and the council could discharge me of the housing duty and I may get evicted.

What is the best way to deal with this if the council does indeed discharge me and I am evicted??

OP posts:
AngelAurora · 30/06/2023 04:09

The entitlement from you is outrageous. You are legally allowed to go on holiday for 28 days without obtaining consent from the other parent. So that's that sorted.

Your parents are not the councils concern. How bloody ungrateful are you? We have people living on the streets who are homeless who would be grateful just to have a roof over their heads. Accept the flat or be homeless.Confused

MrsTerryPratchett · 30/06/2023 04:16

AndTheSurveySays · 30/06/2023 01:36

If the op had been offered a ground floor flat the relatives would stay

Exactly. The op and her parents are expecting the council to house them during their visit. It is crazy to expect that. The op needs to know it's completely unrealistic.

No, she will be renting the Council flat. She will be having her parent to stay and help her like any other renter could. The Council aren't putting her parents up any more than your landlord is when your parents stay or your bank is if you have a mortgage.

OP, practically speaking, if it will affect you, you have to take it. Stupid as that is. Save and AirBnB for them?

almostoverthehill · 30/06/2023 05:19

AngelAurora · 30/06/2023 04:09

The entitlement from you is outrageous. You are legally allowed to go on holiday for 28 days without obtaining consent from the other parent. So that's that sorted.

Your parents are not the councils concern. How bloody ungrateful are you? We have people living on the streets who are homeless who would be grateful just to have a roof over their heads. Accept the flat or be homeless.Confused

Couldn’t have put it better myself!

mickandrorty · 30/06/2023 06:17

If you want to pick and choose where you live you will need to rent privately. You should have taken it and worked around any issues later on, because there is a good chance you've now lost your chance at affordable, secure housing because you were being fussy, you might not see it as being fussy but they have long
lists of people who are desperate for housing and will take whatever they are offered. If you are removed from the list there is no way to deal with it the council have fulfilled their obligation, i believe they will probably say you have made yourself intentionally homeless. I would suggest you speak to shelter and see what they say.

ItsBarbieBitchhhh · 30/06/2023 06:29

I can understand that this is a tricky situation for you as you have no help. When you say your parents have a 5 year Visa, do you mean that they’ll be staying with you for 5 years straight or will go back and forth between here and their own country?

Regardless, you have to take this property. You’ve been in temporary accommodation for two years and you need to get settled in permanent housing. I say this as someone who was in temporary accommodation and was placed in a private property (whilst still bidding). You don’t want to go through the faff of private renting. I’m assuming that you can’t afford to private rent as you wouldn’t have been in temporary accommodation for so long.

The council can only take things into consideration when it’s to do with your health or your children’s. Even then it’s a struggle! I know because I had to fill in medical report after medical report for us to get priority on specific flats due to my son’s genetic disorder. Unfortunately, the council don’t care about your parents. They have a right to house you and your family but anyone else isn’t involved.

Your best option is accepting the flat and somehow making it work with your parents. Hotel, AirBnB, getting them to contribute towards their accommodation? Anything! Good luck

veryfluffyfluff · 30/06/2023 06:34

What is the best way to deal with this if the council does indeed discharge me and I am evicted??

I think then you'll have to rent somewhere privately

FiveShelties · 30/06/2023 06:34

Not another one post OP surely. A cynic may think it is a wind up.

forgotmyusername1 · 30/06/2023 06:39

Phone the council this morning and accept the flat and pray they havent offered it elsewhere

If they take you off the housing list you will either need to privately rent or be homeless. Neither option are good

Makemyday99 · 30/06/2023 06:39

Surely this isn’t a genuine post? If it is then wow. Get a job, stop scrounging & whining & rent or buy your own house for your own needs. Otherwise you don’t get a choice, put up & shut up

110APiccadilly · 30/06/2023 06:40

How long are your parents coming to visit for? Could you get a (ground floor) AirBnB for when they're here?

tanyaturneristhegoat · 30/06/2023 06:42

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

TerfIngOnTheBeach · 30/06/2023 06:43

Might be missing the point, but my elderly parents long stopped being able to get on and off a plane safely and travel long distances before they stopped being able to get up and down stairs, albeit slowly.

MossCow · 30/06/2023 06:57

TerfIngOnTheBeach · 30/06/2023 06:43

Might be missing the point, but my elderly parents long stopped being able to get on and off a plane safely and travel long distances before they stopped being able to get up and down stairs, albeit slowly.

You can get assistance to get on and off planes. This isn't an issue in the slightest.

Of course you should take a flat offered to you after living in temporary accommodation for two years. Housing your children should be your first priority. Not them seeing grandparents.

I've emigrated. I know what it's like to bring your children up with no extended family to help and nobody in their lives who loves them except you.

But raising them in temporary accommodation isn't going to improve their lives is it?

If your parents can't afford to pay for their own accommodation to stay in for a visit then they can't come.

People who can't afford things can't do them. That's the way it is.

ChardonnaysBeastlyCat · 30/06/2023 06:59

Whalen you say they have visas for five years do you mean they have settled status here to join you?

They won’t be entitled to council accommodation if they own their home in their country. Do they own their home there?

QuillBill · 30/06/2023 07:03

The first time I read your OP I didn't realise that you had actually rejected the offer already. I didn't take that in until I read the answers. I can't believe it.

If I were you, I'd go back to the council immediately and see if you can reverse the decision and accept the flat.

If you can't then I don't know what you should to to be completely honest. What did they actually say when they said they could discharge you? Are they going to throw you out of the temporary accommodation?

MossCow · 30/06/2023 07:06

What is the best way to deal with this if the council does indeed discharge me and I am evicted??

You will have to house yourself. Find a private rental.

Do you work? If. If not then get a job as soon as possible. How old are your children under seven?

EmeraldFox · 30/06/2023 07:07

TerfIngOnTheBeach · 30/06/2023 06:43

Might be missing the point, but my elderly parents long stopped being able to get on and off a plane safely and travel long distances before they stopped being able to get up and down stairs, albeit slowly.

Same with my grandmother, guessing they use wheelchairs or walkers? Though my dgm uses a walker and two flights of stairs would be a struggle but one doable if she has someone walking next to her.

Weal · 30/06/2023 07:07

Oh op this is a tough situation. Must be incredibly hard not being able to visit your family at home.

However I think you need to prioritise the children in this situation and accept the flat. Having a council property will be much more stable and affordable for you and the children then if the council take you off their list and you have to go private.

Are there any air B and Bs near by? How long will you parents be visiting you? Can you move in the flat and then look to do a home swop I appreciate that might take too long).

WilkinsonM · 30/06/2023 07:08

TAKE THE FLAT

No question, take the flat. Do NOT turn down council housing.

QuillBill · 30/06/2023 07:11

WilkinsonM · 30/06/2023 07:08

TAKE THE FLAT

No question, take the flat. Do NOT turn down council housing.

Too late, she's turned it down. Shock

Peanutlatte · 30/06/2023 07:12

AngelAurora · 30/06/2023 04:09

The entitlement from you is outrageous. You are legally allowed to go on holiday for 28 days without obtaining consent from the other parent. So that's that sorted.

Your parents are not the councils concern. How bloody ungrateful are you? We have people living on the streets who are homeless who would be grateful just to have a roof over their heads. Accept the flat or be homeless.Confused

That's not true, you are legally able to travel without permission IF you have a lives with order.

berksandbeyond · 30/06/2023 07:12

Have you never ever the expression ‘beggars can’t be choosers?’

Overthebow · 30/06/2023 07:13

Take the flat or go private and pay for what you want. We don’t have enough social housing for you to be picky. Why would the government take into account people who don’t even live in this country?

TicTac80 · 30/06/2023 07:14

Take the flat. Get yourself and your kids housed and sorted. After a year, you can apply to swap homes or go on the transfer list. But your main priority should be to get yourself and kids housed. Can your parents afford to pay out for an Air BnB? I get that their English might not be great (my family is from overseas too), but you must prioritise getting yourself and your kids sorted first.

CottagePieLaLaLa · 30/06/2023 07:14

Doggydarling · 30/06/2023 01:12

Wow, you're actually considering rejecting a home for you and your children because it's not suitable for prospective guests?? I'm absolutely stunned at the entitlement of some people.

Me too.