Bizarre request… What would you do?

[good96]

We’ve lived in our current home since 1991 when we first brought it. I’ve had a letter come through my door this week from the previous owner’s son asking if he could pop around and see the property. He mentions in his letter that his mother had recently died in the last 6 months and would ‘love’ the opportunity to see the home that was in their family for over 40 years until they had to sell…
I’m inclined to say yes but I am a bit sceptical of letting a stranger into my house. What would you do?

DH and I once stopped and loitered outside his childhood home when we were in the area on holiday. The owner came out wondering what we were doing, and DH explained that his parents had restored the house in the 1970s. The owner recognised their name from the deeds and invited us in allowing us to wander around to our heart's content (I'm not sure I'd ever be that trusting!). It was a very kind gesture and much appreciated.

What movie is that?

What can go wrong? lol

I would be ok with it, I am quite a trusting person though.

I’d say yes but I would make sure I wasn’t home alone when he came.

How similar is the house? If you've put in a loft conversation, knocked through the kitchen wall etc. I'd say no, because it's very changed from how he'd remember it.

The current owner of our old family farm was kind enough to show the family round recently after my grandfather’s funeral. It meant so much to my dad, and the rest of us, to be able to visit and reminisce about the wonderful times growing up.

I and the rest of the family will be forever grateful to her for being so welcoming- and I think she enjoyed learning about the history of the farm (it is hundreds of years old) and learning explanations for some of the quirks she’d found.

Our family sold up in 1991 and haven’t seen it since, so this seems amazingly similar. It would be so, so kind of you to allow it and I can speak from experience that it would mean so much to them.

For those suggesting only if there haven’t been big changes- I disagree. There have been enormous changes to “our” farm- it’s no longer a farm, for a start! But it was so lovely to see what a beautiful home they’ve turned it into and how it’s evolved.

I probably wouldn't, tbh.

Not sure about a movie but there was a scene in "The Night Agent" where this happens. Said visitors turned out to be paid assassins and it definitely did not end well 😶

I know the chances of the letter writer being a paid assassin are very slim but still...

@good96 I had a foreign sounding gentleman call and offer to service my gas boiler this morning, he knew my name and everything.

I once asked to visit a childhood home a couple of years after my parents sold it.
The new owners were very kind and gave me a glass of juice and more importantly gave me an opportunity to say goodbye to the house that I hadn't had during the sale, as I had been abroad that year.

So I don't think it's a bizarre request, and clearly those new owners didn't find it bizarre either.

🤣🤣🤣

On holiday a few years ago we had an older couple peeping through the top of the stable door (not in a cheeky way, just curious) and when dh asked if he could help it turned out they had lived in the house years before and had owned the restaurant next door. We invited them in and let them look around. They were lovely and really happy to see the improvements that had been made to the property and told us some nice stories of the happy times they’d spent there raising their dcs. No harm done!

I guess it’s just individual choice whether it’s something that makes you uncomfortable or not - I would want to speak to him first to see if he seemed genuine.

I wouldn't but I would possibly send him a couple of photos. (Surely you mean you bought the house? Not brought as you can't bring houses anywhere!)

It is an odd letter, if I was to agree it would be for a time slot with an end time. Lots of opportunities for it to turn odd and maybe change how you feel about the house. He might not have many boundaries about his expectations/ respect your ownership worst case scenario

It’s a yes from me subject to verifying him beforehand via a phone call and internet search. I still drive past the home I grew up in and show my son. If he’s genuine, he’s holding on to a connection to his mother.

Letter is less threatening than knocking on your door. It gives you time to consider his request than being put on the spot.

I watched an interesting documentary on psychedelics and depression, and there was a moving scene of a man who went to his old home and it helped him to process his past.

I just asked my husband for his opinion out of curiosity. It's a hard no from both of us.

We've done this from both sides. Relatives of the previous family to live in our house for many years knocked one day and had a reminisce. Another time we went on a tour of my husband's childhood area and were standing outside his old home when the owner asked what we were doing (clearly we looked suspicious) and he invited us in and showed us around.

I think I’d say yes, providing there were others present. I remember years ago when I was a student an elderly man was coming along the road behind me and followed me into the stairwell. I didn’t think anything of it until I was aware that he was still behind me a few steps up so turned to confront him. He explained he had grown up in the flat (ours!) many years ago and was back in Edinburgh for the first time since the family had moved abroad. My flat mate was in so we agreed to show him around - it was fascinating hearing about the flat and the street as they were many decades ago. He was a lovely man and quite emotional revisiting his childhood home. We also survived to tell the tale!

I'd have a chat with him first and then say yes, with others present.

Can't believe how many miserable sods there are on this thread 😀

That would be a no from me... 🌹

How does not wanting a random stranger coming into your home make one a "miserable sod?" I'd love to know.

Can't believe how many miserable sods there are on this thread 😀
This thread is a brilliant example of positive, welcoming folk versus suspicious, negative characters. So interesting to know what makes us one way or t'other.

I'm actually autistic so would find it invasive. My home is my space and nobody comes here. The idea of making small talk with a stranger terrifies me. I'm also hyper vigilant due to complex PTSD.

I'm not any of the things people are suggesting because I would not welcome a stranger into my home. In fact I'm actually very positive, very misunderstood and generally quite a nice person.