Bizarre request… What would you do?

[good96]

We’ve lived in our current home since 1991 when we first brought it. I’ve had a letter come through my door this week from the previous owner’s son asking if he could pop around and see the property. He mentions in his letter that his mother had recently died in the last 6 months and would ‘love’ the opportunity to see the home that was in their family for over 40 years until they had to sell…
I’m inclined to say yes but I am a bit sceptical of letting a stranger into my house. What would you do?

I'd say no. I would find it creepy.

I would say no mainly because if someone is so keen to see a home which they havent lived in for 30+ years they may get upset about changes.

My DB got very upset and cross about changes the new owner of the home we grew up in had made (house for sale on Rightmove). Described them as a 'desecration'. He had mentally preserved the house in aspic.

As his mother has recently died it would be nice for him to close the door on that chapter, as long as he's genuine.

It depends on you too. I love listening to old stories but it's not everyone's cup of tea. Just make sure you're not alone and check him out first.

My mum was contacted by a family in America about 15 years ago now, their grandfather had lived there before emigrating to the USA. The family were flying over to visit the city he was born in and they asked my mum if they could visit and see the house. (My grandad had bought the house in 1965), my mum said yes and four of them arrived, my mum had made sandwiches and a little buffet for them. They stayed for about three hours chatting and it was lovely.
The house is now mine, although my dad lives in it, and if I'm contacted down the line by the family ill certainly let them in

Oh my Dad has form for this. Insisted on knocking of door of house I was born in to say hello for a tour 😳🤣. I'd let them/him in.

I'd be very curious what the former resident had to say about the building's history.

I would say yes. People get attached to homes and he's feeling nostalgic because his mother just died. I actually went to view my old house when it came up for sale just because I wanted to go inside it again.

Tell him that you feel like you're coming down with a touch of the plague, but that if he'd still like to come around... to look for the house with the painted black cross on the door.

I hovered around the outside of my grandmother’s old house once, trying to take sneaky pictures of the outside of it, when the current owner came out and asked me what I thought I was doing (rightly so!). I explained the history and as was able to give a timeline, and she very kindly invited me in to have a look around and I was extremely grateful to her. I think if you can get some validation in terms of timescales, names etc, and there are at least two adults at home, I’d let them have a quick look around. Maybe make a point of videoing their visit so they know they’re on camera.

I'd definitely say yes as long as he's not strange in any way and you can have a friend or family round. It's a lovely gesture.

I've been considering doing this.

My mum died when I was 10, 10 months after we moved house, and then my dad died 2 years after her.

I do have an urge to go back and be in our last home, where I saw my mum enjoying her new life.

Oh I absolutely would! As long as you’re not in the house alone with him I can’t see a problem.

Years ago we saw a man staring at my childhood home. My mum went out to speak to him and he told us he lived there as a child during the War. My mum invited him in and he told us loads of stories, including one about the day the garden gate was hit by a bullet from a German Messerschmitt. He said the house had changed a bit over the years, but still brought back many memories for him. Being there seemed important and he stayed for about ten minutes. After that there were no further visits, but every year for about 10 years we received a beautifully handwritten Christmas card from him in the post.

I’ve a similar dilemma. My very with-it 90 year old mother has told us she left building society savings books at her old house….tucked under the loft insulation inside the loft hatch.

We can’t go and check.
I have sent a letter with address labels to “the occupier” asking kindly for any mail to be forwarded to us…..but with no success. We don’t know which building societies, she had many, apparently.

Will have to try My Lost Account…..

I have just finished watching a drama on Netflix and the serial killers used this tactic to get into someone’s home so……

Seriously though I would say ok for him to see the outside and when he comes if you get a good vibe then maybe invite him in. Maybe have someone with you just in case (and don’t watch The Night Agent before he comes over)

Miranda Lambert sings the most beautiful song called the house that built me. I think pretty much like the situation this man is in, the chorus is 🎶if I could just touch this place or feel it, the brokenness inside me might start healing🎶. In fact I'm going to post the lyrics. If you can listen to it, it's beautiful.

I know they say you can't go home again
I just had to come back one last time
Ma'am, I know you don't know me from Adam
But these hand prints on the front steps are mine
Up those stairs in that little back bedroom
Is where I did my homework and I learned to play guitar
And I bet you didn't know under that live oak
My favourite dog is buried in the yard
I thought if I could touch this place or feel it
This brokenness inside me might start healing
Out here, it's like I'm someone else
I thought that maybe I could find myself
If I could just come in, I swear I'll leave
Won't take nothin' but a memory
From the house that built me

I don't think this is weird at all. Previous occupants of our family home knocked and had a look round. It was interesting.

I def would but as pp say get some sort of evidence like a childhood photo or something, just to be sure they're not casing the joint! It would be obvious I think if they are genuine.

The grandson of the man who lived in my mum's housebefore we moved in came for a look around, we moved in 50 years ago & I met him on a school reunion night & he asked if my mum would mind him coming for a look. It was lovely as when we moved in, the majority of the garden was planted with vegetables. I was only 7 & had never seen vegetables planted in a garden as we had moved from a terraced house with a postage stamp piece of grass in the yard of four houses.

I wouldn't want to see my childhood home again. I want my memory of it to remain as it was, and seeing what it's like now would destroy it for me.

I don't think it is bizarre, and have heard of several people who have done this - and have always been welcomed to the house. If you are concerned you could have someone in the house with you, but of course it is up to you what you do.

I would chat to him on the phone and see how he sounds, and then ask him to bring ID or send it in advance. The fact he wrote a letter rather than showing up with no warning makes me think he is a nicer person

I don't think that's weird. He's probably local ish or in the area for now, and knew it would put pressure on the owner if he just showed up unannounced

My mum doesn’t bother with letters. She just knocks on the doors of where she used to live and basically walks in. We are northern though. Also, she’s endearingly crackers.

I would say yes! Why not - you don't have to be alone with him if you're worried. It would be quite a reach for someone to invent such a spurious reason to enter your home to attack/rob you. Plus I would love to talk to someone about their memories of my house and street from before I lived there.

We had someone ask us this about the student house we lived in. There was a few of us in the house so we let him in, became quite obvious he was very drunk and started having a lie down in the garden complaining about the shed. We couldn’t get rid of him! We thought it was funny but looking back I don’t know why we were so blasé about letting him in 😆