Apologies for the long and priviledged moan.
I bought a home a year ago with my DP, a home we didn't like and discounted straight away when we viewed it. However we felt trapped with needing to move soon, were naive first time buyers and ended up buying this house (a 30s three bed terraced). This is entirely our fault but I need to figure out what do from here as we're both very unhappy.
It hasn't really been updated since the 60s and the room layout is very bizarre. There is a toilet downstairs and a shower room upstairs with only enough room for a shower and a sink. The kitchen has a sink, oven and room for only two counters. Nothing we can do about this, but to fully paint the picture there is a student HMO next door and the house and garden are very poorly maintained and it is noisy and messy.
We got a survey but didn't fully understand the reality of getting work done - eg we got a rewire but I didn't realise how much this would damage walls and floors. There were things the surveyors couldn't see such as bad black mould behind wallpaper and woodworm underneath laminate flooring. There are large internal cracks hidden behind wallpaper/cabinets. So there is a massive amount of work to be done.
We have already spent over 10k on the house doing the rewire, new boiler and 'fixing' the roof. The roofer unfortunately scammed us by doing a bodge job instead of what we asked for and was very aggressive about still getting full payment which has left me shaken up about getting tradespeople in. He lives down the road and was recommended by multiple neighbours, so I don't know what a reliable avenue is to get tradespeople in the future that won't leave us vulnerable to this happening again.
I am in the very, very fortunate position of recently getting a decent inheritance (plus my own savings). I hope to use this to do some travelling, which I've never experienced, but the work that needs to be done on the house feels like a burden I can't just leave my DP with and swan off travelling.
The problem is I have no clue where to start with it and am utterly overwhelmed and in over my head. I work three jobs (about to end one) and every spare moment is doing DIY on the house. My friendships have been completely neglected and my output at work is rubbish. I work from home so am in the house environment daily so I can't get away from it. There is so much to do it feels like a physical weight on me and both me and my partner feel trapped and have huge regrets.
Urgent things are wood floors need to be restored/new carpets, walls and mouldy ceiling replastered and decorated and a solution for bad damp/mould worked out (it is in the plaster, underneath paint), all windows and back door replaced. Skeelings are very badly cracked and we've been advised we need someone to reinforce roof beams and possibly rebuild these. I've realised the kitchen and bathroom will both need to be extended as no one else would buy a 3 bed house with these being so tiny. Then there's other stuff like loft insulation, garden, shed, garden walls, whole external re-rendering, fireplace sorted out where back boiler was removed, popcorn and polystyrene tile ceilings, channel dug behind house to stop water ingress, repointing. All the little things are very old and badly maintained and something breaks/deteriorates every day - this morning the very old plastic curtain hooks snapped off and are jammed in the rail. Everything's scuffed and there are grubby marks I can't get rid of.
We are in a five year fixed mortgage, bought at the top of the market and overpaid anyway. A similar house on our street has been on the market for months at £15k less.
Finally, I have tried to get multiple builders around to quote for work and they are all booked up. I don't know if I should get a large building company or individuals. I don't know how to progress about some of the issues - like what is causing the cracking, mould etc. I don't know whether to consider moving, but even if we did work would need to be done to get it sellable. I've accepted we will lose money overall, but don't know how much work to do or how long we should stay. We can't decorate or have much furniture because of all these things needing to be sorted out.
I understand because I have the money to theoretically get stuff done, typed out this doesn't seem like a big problem. However, every room in this house feels disgusting and unliveable and I'm really struggling to find anyone to even quote for work or get any advice about what needs to get done first. I havent been able to relax or enjoy life for a year. I'm very aware I could easily waste the entire inheritance on things like 'damp treatments' that might not even work or something that doesn't add value. I just don't want to live like this anymore.