Residential home for troubled teens opening across the road

[Foxglove21]

Today we found out that a house directly across the road from us is being converted into a residential home for teenagers in care who have severe behavioural issues and are thus unsuitable for fostering.

We are absolutely devastated. We have only lived in our home one year; it was a big move for us as it was at the very top of our budget, which we have worked really hard to save for. It is in a quiet, small rural village which has 2 Ofsted outstanding schools and we have paid a premium for this. We have a toddler and another baby on the way, and sought a quiet village to move to, and were so excited and felt so lucky to have purchased our forever home to raise our family. In the past year we have spent thousands redecorating to make it our own.

The house across the street that is becoming the residential home was a regular 4-bed family home that has just been sold. We had no way of knowing this would happen when purchasing our house (we would never have bought it had it been there already). The new owners/the company who will run the home have not had to request planning permission for this change to the dwelling and so we were not consulted at all- we've just found out now via word-of-mouth from a contractor who has started to convert it.

We're extra concerned as this house is next door to an old and unused village police station which will inevitably also go up for sale soon. This would obviously now be a very unattractive purchase for a family and thus would no doubt become a second purchase to extend the residential home (and increasing the number of residents).

It seems a very unusual choice of location for such a home; as I mentioned it's a very small and quiet village with absolutely nothing recreational nearby to offer young people in their teens; there's one pub and one little shop. The house itself wasn't exactly cheap- £500k for a 4 bed house which requires conversion (we live up North, so that's definitely on the pricier end)- so it seems a very strange investment for them really. Our house has a large playing field and small playground for toddlers directly behind it and again I'm worried this will inevitably become the hangout for the residents as there is nowhere else for them to go.

Anyway, I guess I just partly wanted to rant as I've been in tears today about this as I feel our life savings/all our hard work are about to go down the drain and we're in for a miserable time.

But I also wondered if this has happened to anyone else, and if so what the reality was. We're expecting there to be a lot of anti-social behaviour and for all the surrounding house prices to plummet, but maybe we're overreacting?

From a quick google other peoples' experiences seem to rely largely on 1) the type of home it is/who will be living there, and 2) the reputation of the company running it... so it's not looking good for us :( We have 2 friends who coincidentally work in these types of homes and they have also suggested it could very likely cause us problems from their experiences.

We have a residential home for young adults opposite from us in our small market town, you wouldn’t even know they were there.

These children will be runaways, traumatised, and a lot will have Sen. You don't think they deserve a good place to live?

For a start if it's a 4 bed house it's not a 4 bed unit. I reckon it's a 2 bed unit with a staff bedroom and an office type set up.

You're devastated? Oh get over yourself.

This home is an opportunity for these vulnerable children to get support and help. They dont need the neighbours sucking lemons at them.

I live in a 'naice' area. My neighbours are still disruptive because they are selfish and dont consider how their power tools, constant lawnmowing, slamming taxi doors, taxi horns, guests talking loudly as they leave at 2pm impacts on us.

TBH, your posts are half drama-llama and half dreadful snobbery. Have a word with yourself.

Speaking from experience.
The house next to me has been a residential home for 3 years. Problems caused for me -zero.
We aren't even a village just a small group of rural houses. Care companies like these as the opportunity to run are severely limited .
The house is a 4 bed licensed for 3 occupants, the other room being for staff.
90% of the time there has only been 1 teen there.
The first teen caused a lot of problems for the staff but none for me and other neighbours.
The next 2 we barely saw.
The current one I wave to. He has a lot of problems and the staffing ratio is 3:1.
My view is that if there are any problems or damage I'm dealing with a company not a parent who could be defensive and problematic.
My only concern was that we might have problems with the sort of men who target LAC. We haven't. And we are are a quiet area where someone of ill intent hanging about would be spotted. We'd probably ask them if they were lost.
Several of the not as close neighbours were up in arms when the change of use went in. But not now as zero problems.

It sounds like this will be quite a small unit and there may not even be 4 children if it only has 4 bedrooms. You're panicking unnecessarily I'm sure and remember the children there will be attending school, college etc in the same way as any other young person.

I just want to say how lovely it is to see so many people on this thread sticking up for kids in care.

These kids have a really rough start in life, and a good placement can make such a huge difference.

I would have zero issues with a house like this near me. With staff on site there's no loud parties, no serious anti-social behaviour - and any issues at all, you know exactly who to contact to get things sorted out. Compare this to an annoying neighbour who's bought their own home who's loud, obnoxious or just a bit of an arsehole - not much you can do about that.

Hopefully OP you can maybe think about this in a different light, especially once the home is up and running, and you can see that you've perhaps been a wee bit judgemental.

And the watchtower.

Our last village had/has a group home like this @Foxglove21. It hasn’t made any significant impact on crime statistics or value of houses.
The major problem/issue has been parking - by that I mean the house has enough parking for two/three cars (if small) but of course there are many more staff with cars , plus soacial workers/nhs staff/maintenance people… so lots of cars for one house in a very small cul de sac = parking wars. But this can happen in any street these days as more and more families become multiple car owners.

We had this happen where we used to live. I'll admit we had some concerns but actually it was totally fine. I won't lie the police were there from time to time but I have no idea why as the kids never caused any trouble in the village and actually upon talking to the kids (and staff) frequently they were all lovely. I appreciate obviously they had their issues as they wouldn't have been there otherwise but I never found them to be anything but polite and helpful.

I can also say that the staff in the home organised loads of events for the community and certainly made the village a better place.

For us it was nothing but a positive experience.

Oh and when we sold our house it sold exceptionally quickly for full market value.

Gotta admit I agree with this, despite having full sympathy for the poor kids.

I always take these threads with a pinch of salt like the one where everyone was swearing blind that they'd happily marry a binman and the one where they were saying they'd have no issue living on a council estate.

I mean, where are all the posh women who married binmen then? Where are all the wealthy people living on council estates? Methinks it's mostly hot air.

A 4 bed house?

You're not exactly going to be inundated! Calm down.

Anyone who has actually worked with/ knows anything about children and young people in care will know that there are a huge number of misconceptions about them.

As an above poster said, a 4 bed house will likely home two young people, three at the most.

This is no different to a family having a teenager or two who might be going through a difficult time. In fact, probably easier than that because they have professional support around the clock.

I would not be concerned if this was happening near my house and I think OP is seriously overreacting to having two troubled young people live in their vicinity in a fully supported accommodation.

The worry about the police station is unfounded, it's not even for sales yet and youth services are on their knees. The chances of a service having the money to buy another building are extremely slim (IF it even goes up for sale). It would also have to be assessed to be appropriate and would take potentially years to go through.

I grew up near a large children home and now live near a similar house to the one you describe. It’s absolutely fine, they are less trouble than the teenagers that behave like entitled brats due to their over indulging parents letting them act with no consideration for others. I’ve got neighbours that swan off on holiday frequently and leave their offspring blaring music and holding parties. Better to have teens who are being supervised.

The idea is to create as stable and supportive environment as possible, as close to a home setting as is feasible - hence buying a house.
Nice areas, village and rural areas with good schools are favoured, if at all possible - which it isn't - it is levelling up not levelling down.

You're more likely to have trouble in the park from unsupervised local bored teenagers than the residents of the house across the road.

They are not going to deposit 4 or 5 teens together and leave them to it. There will be round-the-clock social workers and carers.
It isn't Lord of the Flies.

Maybe a guard dog too.

You might see emergency services a little more frequently- that is most likely to be when kids have gone missing and are being bought home or self harm that needs urgent medical attention

But you're unlikely to have them bothering you personally, especially if you treat them as you would any other neighbours children and if you do have any problems you're likely to get staff who are quick to respond rather than parents who take offence and call you a karen if you ask them to do anything about antisocial behaviour their kids cause.

Most of these kids aggression will be taken out on themselves, staff and other residents or their family members- random neighbours are fairly low on their list of people to bother in any way

Source: lived in one once, worked in several

I fully get where you're coming from, op. I'd be fed up and concerned, too. There's no way I'd knowingly buy a home next to one. However, my parents live in a small village and a similar home was opened there. I don't believe the children had much impact, a bit of criminal damage on the green and a few police visits, but it was minimal really and I don't remember the locals finding it that much of a problem, if at all, actually. It closed down after a few years and is now back to being a private home.

I'm sorry that you're so upset but I'd just wait and see what the actual situation is. Things usually work our better than you fear.

Check out the company running it. A lot of people are piling into market as a way to earn mega bucks out of the council while doing nothing whatsoever for the children in their care (as that would obviously cost them money - and how else can they afford their holidays and cars). If it's a reputable company then the children should be cared for and you wouldn't see major issues. If it isn't reputable, or is new, then I would worry for those children. You may witness a lot of neglect.

I'm surprised they haven't needed council permission of some kind. Near us this is happening a lot and ends up in the papers precisely because permission is refused. What are children's services saying about their confidence in the company?

If it was me, I might move. You sound upset by it and there are plenty of other villages to choose from. I don't think it will turn out as you fear, but you need to feel happy where you live.

Children do not go in to care because they are naughty, they go into care due to family circumstances / the adults around them.

They are the victims and their behaviour is a consequence of that.

Every child deserves a home, ideally with loving parents, some children have terrible parents or their parents die, go to prison or have drug / alcohol problems.

Imagine you are 12 years old, your alcoholic step father has raped you and your mother has decided she will stay with your rapist and you go into care.

I think you might just play up a bit. Or not want to be with foster parents because parents don't keep you safe.

And someone who has never met you is complaining that you are going to live on their street.

OP

One day your children will be teens, do you think they will be little angels all the time?

Having worked with this type of facility it would be unusal for them to cause problems to the immediate neighbours. The kids won't hang around directly outside. They'll either be inside, or absconded and causing problems elsewhere.

Tomato I hope that where you grew up was a nice home with nice neighbours.

OP I have some family and friends who grew up in care. They’re all functional adults. They didn’t terrorise anyone let alone a whole community. Their survival seems like a miracle the more I learn about trauma, but certainly they have had a hard enough time without being stigmatised for a situation that they have had zero control over. Both the traumatic reasons for their placement and the situation of that placement.

OP You and your kids will be absolutely fine.
I really hope that the same is true for the looked-after children placed resident in your street. Maybe you could try turning up with a card when they move in addressed to staff and residents saying welcome. Get your kids to make it even. Imagine that small gesture.

I'm not sure about this tbh. The house is only going to be home to 3 or 4 kids absolute maximum - it's not as if they're opening up a huge institution with 60 kids screeching out of the windows.

I've had some really shitty luck with neighbours over the years - including two who used to regularly beat their female partners. We used to hear the screaming and crying through the walls. (Yes, we called the police out - multiple times).

In my very lovely and quiet cul de sac, we had a drug dealer move in three doors down. Regular police raids, users rocking up day and night. He's gone now, and a lovely family moved in.

The previous next door neighbours were nice enough, but used to hold loud BBQs in the garden during the summer. They built a bar in their garden and invited all their friends over. I fucking hate noise, and for hours and hours I used to have to listen to them yelling up and down the garden, cackling with their mates and playing their annoying music. Our houses are quite small and very close together (think starter home type set-up). I'm well aware that I was being unreasonable, but when they held their BBQs, the noise absolutely did my head in (I'm autistic). Oh yes, and I forgot - sometimes in the winter she'd get drunk and just scream at him for hours and hours on a Saturday night. They are a young, middle-class, professional couple by the way.

All of the above in very "naice" areas as MN would say.

Honestly, a family home with a couple of teens who were in care and likely to be under close supervision from live-in workers would have been no problem at all. Way preferable actually. With regular neighbours it's a real lottery.

(But if it helps for balance, I grew up on a council estate where people used to set each other's motor bikes on fire and chase each other through the alleys with guns - I'd not be keen to move back to one!)