Residential home for troubled teens opening across the road

[Foxglove21]

Today we found out that a house directly across the road from us is being converted into a residential home for teenagers in care who have severe behavioural issues and are thus unsuitable for fostering.

We are absolutely devastated. We have only lived in our home one year; it was a big move for us as it was at the very top of our budget, which we have worked really hard to save for. It is in a quiet, small rural village which has 2 Ofsted outstanding schools and we have paid a premium for this. We have a toddler and another baby on the way, and sought a quiet village to move to, and were so excited and felt so lucky to have purchased our forever home to raise our family. In the past year we have spent thousands redecorating to make it our own.

The house across the street that is becoming the residential home was a regular 4-bed family home that has just been sold. We had no way of knowing this would happen when purchasing our house (we would never have bought it had it been there already). The new owners/the company who will run the home have not had to request planning permission for this change to the dwelling and so we were not consulted at all- we've just found out now via word-of-mouth from a contractor who has started to convert it.

We're extra concerned as this house is next door to an old and unused village police station which will inevitably also go up for sale soon. This would obviously now be a very unattractive purchase for a family and thus would no doubt become a second purchase to extend the residential home (and increasing the number of residents).

It seems a very unusual choice of location for such a home; as I mentioned it's a very small and quiet village with absolutely nothing recreational nearby to offer young people in their teens; there's one pub and one little shop. The house itself wasn't exactly cheap- £500k for a 4 bed house which requires conversion (we live up North, so that's definitely on the pricier end)- so it seems a very strange investment for them really. Our house has a large playing field and small playground for toddlers directly behind it and again I'm worried this will inevitably become the hangout for the residents as there is nowhere else for them to go.

Anyway, I guess I just partly wanted to rant as I've been in tears today about this as I feel our life savings/all our hard work are about to go down the drain and we're in for a miserable time.

But I also wondered if this has happened to anyone else, and if so what the reality was. We're expecting there to be a lot of anti-social behaviour and for all the surrounding house prices to plummet, but maybe we're overreacting?

From a quick google other peoples' experiences seem to rely largely on 1) the type of home it is/who will be living there, and 2) the reputation of the company running it... so it's not looking good for us :( We have 2 friends who coincidentally work in these types of homes and they have also suggested it could very likely cause us problems from their experiences.

There are 3 of these local to us, run by a trust. The only thing I'd really note is the increased Police presence (usually when one hasn't come home), and that there is an increase in vehicles due to care staff - a lot of them are 1 to 1. Trouble wise, they don't really affect locals at all and there tends to be very little noise/antisocial behaviour. In fact I'd say the care staff are worse for noise...and it's the hanging round outside smoking/talking at all hours that could be an issue.

How on earth do you know what social class everyone is? Wild. And how is marrying a bin man the same as living opposite a residential care setting?

I'd rather marry a bin man than shag a landlord...

You do realise you can't control who your neighbours are wherever you live don't you?
One of our neighbours has just been found guilty of child pornography offences dating back to 2018. Our street is full of children playing out on their own. If he'd been your neighbour you'd have been non the wiser until now either. He could have been happily lurking in the local park (he has DCs) so wouldn't have been out of place there. At least you know who'll be living near you and that they will most likely be supervised - and if they 'escape' they're hardly going to hang around outside.

I grew up in a lovely little village without a residential home for troubled teenagers. What it did have was "untroubled" teenagers. We hung round the playing field, were far too loud, drank underage and generally made a nuisance of ourselves. Teenagers being antisocial isn't something that is confined to kids that had a rough start in life.

I used to live near a sheltered accommodation and one of the lovely residents used to love kicking the wingmirrors off cars when he was walking home drunk. Did it three times while I lived there.

Cost me £300 to replace the whole mirror assembly and had to get the scratches polished out from where it had hit my door. Little fucker did it again a couple months later but I was thankfully at my partner's that night.

It's very unlikely they will expand next door. 4 young people plus a bedroom for a sleep in carer is the most likely set up. The downstairs conversation is probably so they have an accessible room (kids in wheelchairs sometimes need care too). The educational unit my dd was suggested to attend was for behavioural and psychological issues similar and she's as quiet as a mouse! (We managed to get 1:1 in mainstream school and health support at home)

I'd rather marry a bin man than shag a landlord...

Sure you would.

I wonder if people will suddenly start objecting to living next door to me.

I’m an adoptive parent, my son is 18 and off to uni so I have room for one more. I am approved foster carer for teenagers waiting for a placement in the next few weeks. The young person who will come to live with me will otherwise remain in a residential unit.
So we will be a ratio of 1 -1 - like most of these homes, just a small version.

Who now would view me as the problem house in the street?

I've no idea if I would have married a bin man. I guess I might have done if I had fallen in love with one, but I can't say that I've ever met one. We probably move in fairly different social circles. What I can say is that I married someone with significantly less education and less earning potential than myself, and that didn't bother me in the slightest. He has other qualities that I value more highly and I earn more than enough to provide for what I need myself.

You can make yourself feel better by persuading yourself that others are lying about how they would feel about living next to a residential facility in order to make themselves look virtuous, if you need to do that to feel good about yourself. I can see why suggesting that others are merely virtue-signalling might enable you to avoid confronting the idea that other people might actually be more open-minded/less selfish than you are. That's all in your head though, and it doesn't reflect the reality of how many of us actually feel. But do carry on convincing yourself if you need to.

Being troubled does not mean they will be troublesome. As an ex SW i placed a number of children in such residential placements. They were almost never children who caused bother in the community. They just needed security and care. The one i can think of who sometimes caused issues did it far away from the care setting!

Hi OP. I used to work in a residential homes for teenagers. They can display difficult behaviours but this does not necessarily mean anti-social behaviours that would impact on neighbours. It is more likely that any difficulties will take place behind closed doors. In addition, it's not always 'loud' and noticeable issues: a lot of these kids make poor decisions around their wellbeing, safety, education, relationships etc... none of which would spill out on to the streets.

Many of these kids do not enjoy the stigma and judgement that comes with living in a 'home' and often try not to bring more attention to it.

It may also be worth considering that some of these kids might be a welcome addition to the street. We had one young person who cut the grass of a couple of elderly neighbours. Another who would run errands to the shops for others etc... as staff, we would set up games in a grass space beside our unit and local kids often wanted to join in.

I understand your concerns but it's not likely to be as doom and gloom as you expect. I hope this might help alleviate some of your concerns.

Ps, it's a 4 bed house. Bare in mind that they will need to create a staff office. There will also likely be 2 sitting rooms (so one can be used for meetings / visits). Potentially will also create a utility area. So, the conversion doesn't necessarily mean more kids.

My husband used to be a Binman, now he's a lorry driver. We live on a council estate. Did you know that non posh women and non wealthy people are also literate enough to interact on mumsnet?

NIMBY.

@Somebodiesmother stop LYING!

@RotundBeagle ah, but you make it so easy... Tell you what, to compromise, on the next bin day, I'll send my butler out to ask the binman what he's doing later. Perhaps he'd like to join me for a swim around my basement full of gold coins, like Scrooge McDuck. After he's been hosed down in the orangery. Watch this space.

So OP, which ghetto do you consider would be suitably rough enough to accommodate these young people without bringing down the house prices?

Big overreaction. I'd be surprised if you heard a peep from them. And the poor kids have probably had extremely crap lives up to this point, and it could be life-changing for them to live in a peaceful, pleasant place.

Try living by an Airbnb – now that damages your neighborhood... noise, rats etc

Only if they have the same respect for it . I think OP has every right to be concerned , anti-social behaviour is a scourge and let's hope she is proved wrong .

Have you stopped to really consider the lives of those children, and what they may have been like ? Most children are removed because they are not cared for well enough not because of their behaviour.

Some children don't cope well in Foster care as they find it distressing being jn a family environment but are better in residential care.

How would you feel if someone like you had those views about your children ( but for the grace of god !(this could be anyone's family.)

And I do know I worked in one for several years.

My daughter was in one for a while, it's practically next door to me and no trouble at all
She was there because she's autistic and there were behaviour issues at home and I couldn't cope as I have a chronic illness/disability.
None of the kids in there were bad kids at all, I knew them all as I spent time there and they'd often come here.

I never said that they weren't. However, this website is primarily a MC demographic and I just don't believe all these women saying they'd happily date/marry a binman. I mean, ffs have you not seen all the threads about 'shock horror, a builder asked to use my toilet'. I've never seen anybody complaining that their accountant asked to use the toilet.

And FYI I spent 2.5 years as a driver for Biffa. Actually sitting in a cab with binmen for 10 hours a day.

My DH works in a residential home (2 actually) as an counsellor for the children and the kids are often ASD/ADHD/Depression etc “troubled” or have been seriously and significantly abused or neglected of both. From all kinds of backgrounds.
The kids go to school and regular activities just like the precious little angels whose parents purchased houses in the village.
And some of them are 10 years old.
It’s not a crime spot.
Kids who have been abused deserve their own bedroom in a safe place as much as yours OP

This is precisely what I came to say. I live opposite a park in a very naice area, and despite no residential home for teens here, there consistently a group of about 8 of them that sit on the swings and smoke. Houses cost a fortune here so their parents are probably the sort of people OP would love to live next to. Imagine thinking you have to live by a residential home to be impacted by teens with nowhere to go/nothing to do 😂

I've read some middle class first world problems on mumsnet before but this really is the worst.

I live in an HA flat and I'm on benefits.
I love MN, been here for 16 years but jeez it can be up it's own arse at times.