Residential home for troubled teens opening across the road

[Foxglove21]

Today we found out that a house directly across the road from us is being converted into a residential home for teenagers in care who have severe behavioural issues and are thus unsuitable for fostering.

We are absolutely devastated. We have only lived in our home one year; it was a big move for us as it was at the very top of our budget, which we have worked really hard to save for. It is in a quiet, small rural village which has 2 Ofsted outstanding schools and we have paid a premium for this. We have a toddler and another baby on the way, and sought a quiet village to move to, and were so excited and felt so lucky to have purchased our forever home to raise our family. In the past year we have spent thousands redecorating to make it our own.

The house across the street that is becoming the residential home was a regular 4-bed family home that has just been sold. We had no way of knowing this would happen when purchasing our house (we would never have bought it had it been there already). The new owners/the company who will run the home have not had to request planning permission for this change to the dwelling and so we were not consulted at all- we've just found out now via word-of-mouth from a contractor who has started to convert it.

We're extra concerned as this house is next door to an old and unused village police station which will inevitably also go up for sale soon. This would obviously now be a very unattractive purchase for a family and thus would no doubt become a second purchase to extend the residential home (and increasing the number of residents).

It seems a very unusual choice of location for such a home; as I mentioned it's a very small and quiet village with absolutely nothing recreational nearby to offer young people in their teens; there's one pub and one little shop. The house itself wasn't exactly cheap- £500k for a 4 bed house which requires conversion (we live up North, so that's definitely on the pricier end)- so it seems a very strange investment for them really. Our house has a large playing field and small playground for toddlers directly behind it and again I'm worried this will inevitably become the hangout for the residents as there is nowhere else for them to go.

Anyway, I guess I just partly wanted to rant as I've been in tears today about this as I feel our life savings/all our hard work are about to go down the drain and we're in for a miserable time.

But I also wondered if this has happened to anyone else, and if so what the reality was. We're expecting there to be a lot of anti-social behaviour and for all the surrounding house prices to plummet, but maybe we're overreacting?

From a quick google other peoples' experiences seem to rely largely on 1) the type of home it is/who will be living there, and 2) the reputation of the company running it... so it's not looking good for us :( We have 2 friends who coincidentally work in these types of homes and they have also suggested it could very likely cause us problems from their experiences.

*rarely ever empty

We have a hostel ( mixed sex ) young teens. 18 plus to around 40 at the end of our street waiting to be rehoused .
the management are excellent rarely get a problem and when there is it’s normally noise and shouting

we always stop say hello and have got to know the long term residents and they are well known in the community as well

many have drugs alcohol & mental health issues but they are generally pretty polite and friendly if you take the time to talk to them

we both park our cars outside there regularly with no issues one time the boot was open and one of the residents knocked out door and told us they had shut it

i could think of many worse neighbors to have

Bloody hell...please tell me you are a troll?? I don't want to live in this reality if someone is complaining about housing for children with additional needs.

Sounds like this is absolutely karma for selecting an area where you thought you wouldn't have to deal with the "undesirables" of the world..

Bloody hell OP, talk about NIMBY, these disadvantaged children/young adults need a home, why shouldn’t it be opposite you? What do you think they’re going to do, blow up the neighbourhood? You sound very small minded and self absorbed

That's what I thought 🤣 growing up bored in this naice village where there's nothing to do, rebelling against their snobby parents

I'd have no problem at all with it.not everyone is as selfish, narrow minded, and judgemental as you.

Thoughts and prayers

When I was a teen, a large house on our estate was converted for the same purpose, you’d never have known it. There was never any trouble and no one was hanging around outside, this was a very nice area so naturally all the NIMBYs were up in arms, but their pearl clutching came to nowt. Where would you prefer vulnerable children needing extra care and attention to be housed?

“I guess if you're looking for specific examples I'm picturing teenagers attempting to run away/a significant police presence at all hours, bad language and behaviour on the streets, potentially damage to public spaces... just general things that I wouldn't like my young children exposed to.”

You’re worried your children might see police? But bought a house across from a police station and what? some teenagers possibly swearing and seeing a broken slide or something might scar them for life?

You do realise middle class teenagers from naice areas swear and trash parks too?

I lived opposite one of these for a few years. The most noise we heard from them was when they'd Clap for Carers each week.

I mean this gently, do you have issues with anxiety and catastrophising generally? Has it got worse in pregnancy? There's a lot of 'inevitably' in your posts, but not one thing you've put is actually inevitable. You can't predict the future.

We live opposite something similar although the residents are young adults. I honestly didn't know until I was told. There's been no trouble at all 🙂

I was one of those kids - placed in a care home because of problems at home that were only identified when I was a teen. It is almost impossible to place teens in family settings, thus group homes. I was (am) a bookish introvert who just wanted some space to be left alone. They only disruption I caused was from the smoking habit I picked up in group homes (where smokers get extra privileges- have since quit). I am now a high earner and home owner and mostly indistinguishable from ‘normals’ - these kids aren’t a separate species, just normal kids with inauspicious starts.

Most of the kids with me were just trying to find a way through really challenging circumstances- they would be exceptionally polite towards anyone who showed them understanding, kindness or respect but could also be quick to defend / be rude towards those that they viewed as rude or judgmental towards them. They understandably have really strong defensive mechanisms, but most of them desperately want to be liked/ feel approval from adults, so you get what you give.

I think you're getting a very hard time here, OP. If you've no experience of this sort of situation, it's natural to fear the worst when you hear that the house opposite will be used to house teens with severe behavioural problems. You have young children and it's understandable that you want to protect them from a potential threat.

For what it's worth, I grew up living next to a large Victorian house that had been converted into a "home for naughty boys" (as I was told). We didn't have any problems at all - I must have passed them on their way to school etc, but they were no more obviously "naughty" than any of the other local children.

I now live less than 1km from a rehab unit for sex offenders, and we never hear anything from them either (except for the alarm being tested every Tuesday morning).

I can imagine this must be very hard for you OP to have to deal with these sort of riff raff on your expensive street. I sincerely hope the stench of snobbery isn't too off putting for your new neighbours.

On a positive note you won’t be stuck for the odd babysitter……….

🙂

That's not true. I work for a children's residential home and we have just bought the house next door.

I'm truly appalled by the Op. Our children have never been a nuisance to any neighbours and all have SEMH. As other posters have stated, any problems will be inside the home and managed by teams of staff 24 hours a day.

Hang your head in shame Op.

We actually had this happen on our estate.

We were initially supportive but then came the endless police call outs, criminal damage, younger kids being abused in the park etc.

Our frustration was at the care home provider who had initially said the home was to be for younger children with learning difficulties, whereas the reality was older teens with behavioural problems. It wasn’t the right setting for them (poor transport links, nothing to do, no shops nearby and the like) and the carers seemed totally inept.

The care company eventually sold the house on and it had been converted in to Fort Knox - not quite the home from home they said it would be for the children. Think industrial padlocks, iron doors instead of back gates 😬

It did impact on our property prices whilst the home was open - and our insurances - as the number of police call outs shop up a couple hundred %.

It would seem from this thread that our experience was perhaps a rare one 🤷🏼‍♀️

I work in somewhere similar and no I wouldn't mind living near one owing to my experiences and knowledge of working somewhere you are so judgemental about.

You can't control who lives next to you. You can't control what changes in the village/town where you choose to live. Aside from these facts, which makes your belief that you had found the 'perfect' place to live 'forever' (how I hate the phrase 'forever home') rather naive in the first place, why on earth do you think having three children in residential care living opposite you is going to affect your quality of life or the price of your house? What an absurd idea.

These children aren't violent criminals ffs. They've had a difficult start in life. They will have issues - understandably - but they're hardly going to be roaming the streets causing locals to need to cower in their homes. They're children who have experienced a lot of trauma already in their lives and are being given the opportunity to start again somewhere new. Being treated with derision, suspicion and unkindness by their new neighbours is only going to cement the belief they will probably already have that they are unloveable and worthless. As a mother, I would hope you would have a bit more compassion for these kids. You have no idea what they've been through or why they have ended up in this position. Whatever they have been through certainly won't be their fault. Treating them like social pariahs is truly shameful and you need to take a good long look at yourself in the mirror for saying such things as you have in your post.

I will also say, you have no idea what's going on behind closed doors anywhere in your village. A residential home might be the least of your problems. My sister lives in an affluent sleepy village where half the teenagers are on hard drugs, go on benders at weekends in the public park, and the resulting anti social behaviour is a serious problem. But they all live in million pound houses with middle class parents, so funnily enough it doesn't seem to affect the house values...

"We're expecting there to be a lot of anti-social behaviour and for all the surrounding house prices to plummet, but maybe we're overreacting?"

You're overreacting.

I have worked for years in exactly this type of setting. Firstly- is a 4 bedroom home which is much smaller than your average unit meaning it will have a high ratio of staff to young people. Secondly the aim of places like this is to mirror as close to a normal home environment as possible because children in care deserve that at the very least. Thirdly you would not believe the number of times the police have rocked up to the building when I've been on shift with neighbours ringing complaining about noise. And every one of the young people has been tucked up in bed for the night because they had tech/ school/ work the next morning. The next door neighbours were having a great time, as we're the people walking home from the pub at night. But of course they assumed it must be our building because young people are rowdy right? They're care experienced so they must be anti social right?

Few of your concerns- police presence will generally be because kids have gone missing and police are coming to check they're OK. Or it means something is happening in the building (much rarer because you'll have highly trained specialist staff there who can deal with most things themselves) who are all over it and who will call police before things get out of hand. Your insurance rates will only go up IF things happen in the area and the general crime rate goes up. I can honestly say I've never once had a young person in one of our units damage neighbouring property or cars (if they're REALLY struggling they might target a specific worker who's upset them but they are not completely unreasonable- they won't have a problem with you for no reason and even then I've only seen that happen once in my time in one unit). I've seen it happen with your average student in a student house though. You might find groups of young people gathering outside the building- staff will move them on because they know neighbours don't like that. Also bad language on the street- sure you probably will find that. Also my next door neighbours swear like pirates- they're adults in full time employment who own their home in a nice area. Or there was my previous neighbour at my old house (a wee cottage in the countryside) who used to look in my windows call me a c*nt and put nails in my tyres. - he was a pensioner and a home owner. You are never guaranteed good neighbours.

You are forming a whole whack of judgements based on your own stereotypes and I'm really shocked your friends who work in these types of places aren't correcting you- they should be. Sounds like they are in places with poor culture or they are ill equipped to do their jobs to be very honest. Or they don't work as directly in this type of environment as you think they do.

I would have zero problem if this opened next to me I'd probably have less issues than I do with my current neighbours. Make a point of getting to know the staff and managers when it opens and if you have concerns talk to them about it. They will want to be teaching the young people how to be good neighbours so if you have particular boundaries or concerns they'll be mindful of that within reason.

I will also say that if the kids support needs are as high as you say then 5/6 is probably as high as they'll want to go in terms of residents. Or they'll extend but their support needs might not be as high as you are assuming. They won't extend past what they can staff and manage effectively and what will work for the young people. Large homes do not work well for extremely high risk young people so there's a few flaws in the theory of what you're envisioning.

Also, our care system is really on its knees at the minute and it's increasingly hard to find ANY placements for young people in care. So you might find the young people are not what you're expecting- they might be unaccompanied minors for example. Young people are generally allocated by a panel depending on who will fit in the mix of the house they aren't just thrown in together randomly there's a lot of forethought goes into it to help them settle.

I wouldn't worry about it OP.

The only time you will see these kids is when they are getting picked up by the adults that are exploiting them. They really won't sh!t on their own doorstep. The police will turn up but they're pretty discreet and they need to do this because they realise that these kids are highly vulnerable.

I wouldn't worry about your DC or the other kids in your village. Sounds like you have it all sorted for them within your privileged family unit. Your stable circumstances will mean it's highly unlikely they will get caught up in any exploitation (criminal/sexual) ...they will probably share the same values as yourself.

I knew the “troublesome” kids in my very small town. The funny thing was, I never saw them cause any trouble - that’s just what they were called: ”the bad kids.”

They were 1000% nicer than the mean girls.

I’d think about that, @Foxglove21

You’ve got it in your head that they’re “bad,” before they’ve even arrived. How in the world is that not judgmental and just a little bit mean?

I work in one. 6 beds.

Very little trouble for the neighbours in all the years I've been there.

Our neighbours are lovely and we take part in the roads yearly street parties.

All neighbours have our number and email addresses and come to us with any concerns.

I understand your concerns.

What I don't understand is all these people on the thread trying to pretend that they wouldn't feel exactly the same way.

You're absolutely entitled to feel how you do, especially since you have only just found out and it has come as such a shock to you. In time perhaps you will feel a little better about it taking into account some of the views that have already been shared with you I knows pretending that they wouldn't feel the same way as you currently do. I don't envy you and I'm really sorry that you're so sad about it, but the reality is that it probably won't be anywhere near as bad as you think. It's similar to living near a prison in that any crimes that may happen will either happen on the premises or far away; there's very little chance of anything happening to you or your property.

Wishing you all the strength you need to make peace with this situation.