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Original poster

Received unmarked cash envelope for exact amount for our roof repair

91 replies

Vernatts123 · 02/02/2023 17:23

We are a young couple with a 1 year old on a relatively good income but little savings due to maternity leave and buying our first house the other year which needed repairs.

Recently our roof needed fixing and we had several other issues with the house come up at once. A few friends and family asked how much it was going to cost for the roof repair (we thought because they needed similar work on theirs or general interest).

Today we received an anonymous envelope with exact amount in cash for the roof repair. No sign who it is from but doesn’t have a stamp so must have been in driving distance.

My thoughts are it is our neighbours who we are friends with through Church and have been guides through difficult times recently.

My personal view is that we can afford the roof (I paid them today) and this money is an extra blessing that we should keep to give out to others as needed. Alternatively we put it in savings for our daughters future.

What would you do?

TLDR; someone unknown put a cash envelope through our door for the exact amount our roof repair has costed. Unsure on what to do next.

OP posts:
TangledWebOfDeception · 02/02/2023 17:26

I’d take it as an extra blessing and do a bit of both - put some (anywhere between 20 and 50%, whatever feels right to you) into a fund for helping others. Then the rest into savings for your daughter.

Orangetapemeasure · 02/02/2023 17:29

I would pass it on. If you go to church they are always collecting for something.

what I’m really interested is how it made you feel? I would like to give a friend some money for house renovations (essential work, but it’s going to be expensive). Around £10k. I posted on MN about it (diff user name) specifically how to give the money. The general consensus was if I offered her the money she’d be embarrassed and it would ruin the friendship and if I dropped £10k through her door in cash she’d freak out. No one could make a good suggestion. So, how do you feel having been given an anonymous amount of money?

Twawmyarse2 · 02/02/2023 17:30

That’s so lovely. I’d bet it’s from your church-going friends too.

Do whatever you want with it, but I’d be sure to tell the people who know about your roof about the amazingly kind gesture someone has performed which has meant you could finally have the roof fixed - that’s what they’ve given it for so let them think that’s what you’ve spent it on.

Reugny · 02/02/2023 17:33

Pass it on this includes saving some for your daughter.

You don't have to pass it on to strangers immediately as there may not be a good cause that needs it yet.

Littlemountainhum · 02/02/2023 17:34

@Orangetapemeasure interesting question and know it was directed to the OP, but my thought would be that it’s very personal as people have different abilities to receive - emotionally, financially. What feels normal/nice to one person will feel uncomfortable to another based on our conditioning/early childhood experiences.

lmnabc · 02/02/2023 17:36

Donate it

DontTouchMePlease · 02/02/2023 17:38

I think whoever gave it you might feel a bit miffed to hear you’ve passed it on elsewhere.

Keep hold of it and, if you find out who gave it, offer it back.

Skulldrudgery · 02/02/2023 17:38

What would you have done with the money you spent on the roof, if the roof hadn’t needed fixing?
Do that

Original poster
Vernatts123 · 02/02/2023 17:39

Orangetapemeasure · 02/02/2023 17:29

I would pass it on. If you go to church they are always collecting for something.

what I’m really interested is how it made you feel? I would like to give a friend some money for house renovations (essential work, but it’s going to be expensive). Around £10k. I posted on MN about it (diff user name) specifically how to give the money. The general consensus was if I offered her the money she’d be embarrassed and it would ruin the friendship and if I dropped £10k through her door in cash she’d freak out. No one could make a good suggestion. So, how do you feel having been given an anonymous amount of money?

Thanks lovely to hear you are considering this. My thoughts went a bit like this:

  1. Shock
  2. Guilt - because I don’t think we need charity and there’s less fortunate people than us.
  3. Love - for whomever it was that gifted us the money.

Personally I think cash envelope is quite effective but put a note (typed) to say what it is for. Likely there are others in their life who could have given the money and so makes more anonymous.

OP posts:
TangledWebOfDeception · 02/02/2023 17:40

I would’t give all of it away, and this is my reasoning:

It was given in kindness and love to you, therefore I personally think it’s arrogant to deny/reject the gift. Let God/them bless you with it. Savings for your child(ren) is passing on that gift in a positive way. However passing some of it on to others in need shows gratitude and generosity with the gifts given to you. To my mind that helps everyone - the giver, you, your child(ren) and others in need.

Original poster
Vernatts123 · 02/02/2023 17:41

Skulldrudgery · 02/02/2023 17:38

What would you have done with the money you spent on the roof, if the roof hadn’t needed fixing?
Do that

Started putting away £100 a month for my daughter!

OP posts:
Teafor1please · 02/02/2023 17:42

I don't think you should give it away. Someone has chosen to give it to you for the roof and I think you should honour that gift. Don't offer it back. Take it, use it, and enjoy how that person has made you feel..how kind.

Teafor1please · 02/02/2023 17:43

Vernatts123 · 02/02/2023 17:41

Started putting away £100 a month for my daughter!

Show quote history

Do that then!

strawberriesarenot · 02/02/2023 17:43

I would be so embarrassed if it were me. I don't know how I'd face those friends again.

silverclock222 · 02/02/2023 17:43

It's clearly meant to be used for your roof repairs so that's exactly what you should use it for.

FRIDAYNIGHTSS · 02/02/2023 17:44

Honestly, I think this is a bit odd. Why wouldn’t the person let you know they made the gesture? Maybe I’m just sceptical but nothing in life really comes for free and an anonymous cash donation sounds too good to be true.

Original poster
Vernatts123 · 02/02/2023 17:46

FRIDAYNIGHTSS · 02/02/2023 17:44

Honestly, I think this is a bit odd. Why wouldn’t the person let you know they made the gesture? Maybe I’m just sceptical but nothing in life really comes for free and an anonymous cash donation sounds too good to be true.

If the gifter is who I think it is, then they may be including this amount in the 10% disposable income the church encourages us to give to charity or support local community. Very much doubt anterior motives.

OP posts:
Twawmyarse2 · 02/02/2023 17:46

FRIDAYNIGHTSS · 02/02/2023 17:44

Honestly, I think this is a bit odd. Why wouldn’t the person let you know they made the gesture? Maybe I’m just sceptical but nothing in life really comes for free and an anonymous cash donation sounds too good to be true.

I would do this if I thought the person I wanted to help wouldn’t accept it. People are proud. Maybe the amount given isn’t a big deal for the people who’ve given it and they just want to do something nice for a friend or family member?

I think the fact it’s been done anonymously does mean that they don’t require anything in return, including gratitude.

MrsCarson · 02/02/2023 17:47

I wouldn't give it away.
I'd be really annoyed if a family member I gave money to gave it to someone else as they had already paid for the roof I was donating to.
I'd make sure to thank the family in general for the donation to the roof and maybe they will contact you on the quiet. They should help decide what to do with it. Or use it for other issues with the house as needed.

jtaeapa · 02/02/2023 17:47

Keep it. It was meant for your family. IMO it would be strange to give it away or to try to give it back. Someone did something nice for you, don't chuck it back in their face or give it away.

You have a 1yo and will incur some astronomical costs over the next couple of decades! There will be no shortage of things to spend it on. Get it in the bank and feel grateful that people care for you.

Activelyannoyed · 02/02/2023 17:49

jtaeapa · 02/02/2023 17:47

Keep it. It was meant for your family. IMO it would be strange to give it away or to try to give it back. Someone did something nice for you, don't chuck it back in their face or give it away.

You have a 1yo and will incur some astronomical costs over the next couple of decades! There will be no shortage of things to spend it on. Get it in the bank and feel grateful that people care for you.

It was meant for the roof. Someone clearly thinks they can’t afford it. I’d ask everyone and tell them we could afford it.

TangledWebOfDeception · 02/02/2023 17:53

It doesn’t necessarily mean they think OP can’t afford it. It simply means they would like to help with that expense.

Springisspringingagain · 02/02/2023 18:02

I don’t think you need to be sceptical. I have been in many churches where a culture of blessing sharing and generosity is perfectly normal but Christians are often encouraged to give secretly so it is about generosity not ego and wanting gratitude in return. In that context it is a great blessing and you should use the money for the roof OP and use the money you would have paid for the roof for good. Who knows you might be inspired in the future to pay it forward again, but for now save it?

Idontgiveagriffindamn · 02/02/2023 18:03

I think you should keep it. It has been gifted to you by someone - if they wanted it to be donated to a church or some other good cause then they would have done that.
Perhaps remember this and when you’re in a more secure financial position you can pay it forward to someone else.

FRIDAYNIGHTSS · 02/02/2023 18:09

I think I’d rather someone offered, so I had the chance to decline if I wanted to. My family is reasonably well off where they could cover expenses like this if they wanted. I think my family would hire & pay the builders or send a bank transfer.

I don’t think I’d like someone leaving an anonymous letter with cash like this, as it’s almost assuming I can’t afford it by not discussing it with me first? So I would find out who sent it before earmarking it.