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Original poster

How to ask neighbour to stop whistling?

93 replies

lollyloo88 · 12/12/2022 12:10

DN is late 70's - he whistles all day long and very loudly too. He is very active and walks up and down the side of the house multiple times a day whistling tunes.

We are due baby 2 soon and I just know come the summer months when they're sleeping regularly in the day time still, the whistling will drive me crazy when I'm trying to get her off to sleep. Her room is next to the walkway..
Not only that but it's frigging annoying for us anyway, I feel like we would be considerate enough not to make noise that neighbours can hear constantly, even if it is a more 'pleasant' noise (unfortunately it's not pleasant to me anymore).

How can I drop it into convo without sounding harsh? Also he clearly has a habit of doing it and it'll be hard for him to stop, but I feel it needs to stop because it's so annoying!

OP posts:
JesusMaryAndJosephAndTheWeeDon · 12/12/2022 23:08

I would like to recommend that you read your child a book called Fred the Whistling Postman

Then you will understand why you must never stop your neighbour from whistling

UnicornRidge · 13/12/2022 03:35

Have you tried using a white noise machine?
We live in an OT with tree fogs croaking all night. It does not bother me, but it does some people's heads in. The whistling will disappear in the background with a white noise machine.

Whatifthegrassisblue · 13/12/2022 03:44

I think if he does it all the time, the baby will get used to it so I wouldn't worry about that yet

Sindonym · 13/12/2022 04:09

The baby won’t wake because of whistling.

i think asking him to stop whistling could be the start of neighbour wars. I doubt he even realises he’s whistling, so you’ll get cross that he hasn’t stopped and it will spiral. That’s if he even takes you seriously in the first place. By drawing attention to him whistling you run the risk of them getting arsey about crying babies or noisy kids.

I like children & had an incredibly noisy family (was always grateful for understanding neighbours) but now the kids are grown up would far rather live next to a whistler than baby/young children.

I think this comes under the ‘if you can’t cope with other people’s noise then move to the middle of nowhere’ heading. It might irritate you but whistling in your own home is as acceptable as letting kids play in the garden. If he stands outside your window whistling at 3am you may have cause for complaint, but otherwise no.

echt · 13/12/2022 04:14

While I, as do all right -thinking people, regard whistling as the work of the Devil, it only applies indoors.

YABU and your baby won't notice.

Suzi888 · 13/12/2022 04:23

rippleraspberry · 12/12/2022 16:52

Very surprised by the replies on here. Of course you can ask him to stop whistling! 😂 The world isn't going to fall apart if you have a slight confrontation with someone.

Just tell him it's disturbing you and please could he try to be quieter.

If he's reasonable he'll try to stop, if he's not he won't but at least you've tried.

Some people are so cripplingly conflict averse, I wonder how they manage their day to day lives. This is a tiny thing!

You do realise OP is having a baby, they aren’t silent… neither are children.

As for the whistling alpha male 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 best thread in ages.

If you want silence (apart from your own screaming kids) find a nice remote cottage. He probably doesn’t realise he does it.

IncompleteSenten · 13/12/2022 07:25

It really is a 'man thing' isn't it?
I have never come across a woman going about her day loudly whistling. Day in, day out.
It's clearly just habit but I wonder why it appears to be a mostly male habit.

rippleraspberry · 13/12/2022 07:31

You do realise OP is having a baby, they aren’t silent… neither are children.

@Suzi888 ... And that means she can't ask him to stop whistling - why exactly?

She can ask whatever she wants. He might not agree but OP needn't be so meek not to say if something is bothering her.

PorridgewithQuark · 13/12/2022 07:41

I can't stand whistling - it has the same impact on me as fingernails down a blackboard have on a lot of people. Anything in that sound range is the same. I turn the radio off or change the channel if a song with whistling starts up, before the whistling kicks in iff I know it's coming.

I wouldn't be able to tolerate that but on the other hand it's an infuriating type of perfectly legal antisocial behaviour which people are within their rights to inflict on anyone at any time unless silence is mandated in a special situation. So I don't know what you can do.

It's an excellent reason to rent instead of buy so you can just move!

I don't know why people are insisting your baby will cry at all hours though. I have three children and none cried for more than a minute or so at the outside because I always attended to them immediately, carried them in slings during the day unless DH was home and parked on the sofa, in which case he had them, and attended to them at night and if all else failed a comfort breastfeed always soothed them. Some babies have colic and can be inconsolable of course but most don't - there is absolutely no reason to assume that by default a baby will cry enough to disturb a neighbour, especially as you don't know yet whether this specific baby will get colic.

Sympathy and ear defenders to you 🫖🎧

littlenutcracker · 13/12/2022 07:44

Your baby will bring a lot more pain to one's ears than anyone's whistling. I definitely keep quiet. You're setting yourself up for problems otherwise.

thewayround · 13/12/2022 07:45

It doesn't help that I don't really like him

and there we have it 😂

littlenutcracker · 13/12/2022 07:46

@PorridgewithQuark a lot of baby's cry regardless of you seeing to them. Colic being one example. The OP simply doesn't know if her baby will cry or for example ky baby had severe reflux. I attended to baby immediately but comforting her through her pain took time to stop her screaming ! You can't predict these things so safer to assume baby will be noisier than someone whistling than stir things up with a neighbour who might not react well.

Setyoufree · 13/12/2022 07:47

To be honest, if anyone's noise is going to be disturbing anyone, it'll be your baby. And then it'll be the toddler it becomes, and the child it becomes, etc etc. Don't start a fight with your neighbour. It won't wake the baby, they can sleep anywhere. If you need a nap, use earplugs. You'd be absolutely insane to raise this. And 'in a joking not joking haha' way is the absolute worst.

thewayround · 13/12/2022 07:48

check out the OP’s history.

dozens of threads complaining about various people in her life. From a friend who always wants to see her to another thread about her DH’s annoying bowel movements!! 😂

winterbride23 · 13/12/2022 07:49

SirChenjins · 12/12/2022 12:16

You can't! Unless he's whistling at unsociable hours or whistling beyond the legal noise limits - and it sounds like he isn't.

Whistling above the legal noise limits made me laugh so much Grin

Fairy22 · 13/12/2022 07:50

Get a big dog and train it to go to him every time he whistles

TwoRockSalmonAndAHaporthOfChips · 13/12/2022 07:51

lollyloo88 · 12/12/2022 20:10

I assumed the AIBU thread invited the trolls but clear Property does too, now I know😂

Thanks PP but I'm thick skinned on here, you treat the rude ones like turds on the pavement, keep walking and don't look back 😂

I'm going to mention it to him, I'll say were very excited about baby 2 and everything a baby brings but worried DNs whistling is going to keep her awake in the day.. not much they can say to that!

Yes, I agree that the automatic response to that would be silence. Stunned silence.

LadyPenelope68 · 13/12/2022 07:55

wavingcats · 12/12/2022 12:17

This really is peak Mumsnet 😁

Absolutely agree, it deserves a whole pack of Biscuit not just one! 🤣

loislovesstewie · 13/12/2022 08:15

Perhaps the fact that you don't really like him is the real issue. If he was doing something else would you be as cross?There are all sorts of minor irritations that others do, if we like the person we tend to be a bit more understanding, if we don't it irritates more.

Sparklfairy · 13/12/2022 08:22

VaulterTech · 12/12/2022 16:47

I feel your pain op! Whistling goes right through me, and it’s always bloody men inflicting it in people. I guess it’s tricky here as you’ve got a baby on the way who will likely be noisy. I would start playing white noise / music as he whistles, but I’m petty (and loathe whistling).

I live in a city centre which is obviously noisy, but in lockdown it was eerie silence. One man took great delight walking down my street at 6am whistling every single morning. It went right through me Grin It was so bloody jaunty and I'm convinced he just felt a need to come crashing through the silence.

ferneytorro · 13/12/2022 08:39

My dad was a whistler, as he got older not really a tune just the whistle equivalent of “do do dee do”. He definitely wasn’t an alpha male manspreader though. I just got used to it and in fact sometimes in the house I find myself whistling. I’m quite good at it but not bird sounds, that’s just inhumane although in the 70’s it was on the tv! Google Percy edwards with Morecambe and wise.

ShutUpBaggyTits · 13/12/2022 09:14

Think yourself lucky you only live next door to a whistler. I live with one!

My DH is always whistling 😬

JesusInTheCabbageVan · 13/12/2022 09:16

thewayround · 13/12/2022 07:48

check out the OP’s history.

dozens of threads complaining about various people in her life. From a friend who always wants to see her to another thread about her DH’s annoying bowel movements!! 😂

Personally finding the OP more and more relatable Grin.

MissPiggysPinkDress · 13/12/2022 09:32

I used to have a whistler on my street, and it was awful. He would be out there at 5:30-6am bloody well doing it! Luckily he split with his and they both moved away

Unsureofitall · 13/12/2022 09:47

Funny enough. I can see how this would drive me up the wall. Unfortunately, I don't think there's much you can do about it. Especially when you're going to have two small children who will also make a decent amount of noise. Maybe you'll get used to it. I'm sure the baby will Grin