Please help me fix a location mistake......

[fancyfence]

My husband and I moved out of London during Covid to a part of East Anglia near to where I grew up. I was pregnant at the time and we were really worried about the effect of Covid/lockdown on me and the baby and wanted to be near my family. First we rented, then we bought.

It's been over 2 years and I just haven't adapted to our new life. We now have 2 adorable kids, one of which goes to a great nursery, our local dr's are excellent and we have a great house. I know we have so much to be grateful for, but this life just isn't me. We have to drive for everything and commuting to London for me to go back to work just won't be possible (even 2/3 days a week) as its far too far. I feel like I've lost access to my career, my social life and that my kids will grow up in a bit of a bubble when I want them to see a bit of the world, and understand people of all backgrounds and ethnicities.

I also find the countryside around us a bit depressing, everything is so flat and often quite industrial. We live in a "nothing village" as in there is nothing here, just a post office. We can't even walk to have a coffee - there is literally nowhere to go to when I leave the house with the kids in the pushchair. While DH would stay put rather than move, he accepts that I am not happy and we should move before the kids start school.

I don't think that going back to London would be right for us now, although I think maybe when the kids leave home, DH and I will go back! We love the South Downs and what we have seen of the Kent Downs. I love Brighton and Hove but they are far too liberal for DH. Friends have recommended Tunbridge Wells and East Grinstead but I don't know them at all.

I'd love recommendations for places south of London, approx an hour to the coast, in a town or largeish village location with things going on, and pretty or at least accessible to pretty countryside - and no more than an hour into London on the train. I've got one chance to fix this mistake and the stakes are really high...

Thanks. It's good to know others are facing this. The post covid world does seem to have made things more complicated. I know people who have made big moves to the country only for their employers to demand they are back in the office. I also feel very disloyal to London as I was so happy there for so long and really thought we would have kids there. Things just feel different now though.

@fancyfence just before covid we explored moving to st Neots / Huntingdon / Cambridge area but decided against the commute.

I do remember saying to DH when everyone was leaving 'what happens when WFH ends?'.

Ah, okay, so you want more personal outside space than London can provide?

In my experience kids only use the garden until they’re teens. Then you’re left with a space that you need to maintain yourself or pay someone else to maintain. But you don’t want London so it’s moot.

Horsham ticks all your boxes (and while it is getting better on the diversity front, it will never be accused of being too liberal 😂)

45 minutes shenfield to London bridge, train every five minutes at peak. Door to door commute of an hour isn't going to take you anywhere with village life

I understand how you feel, we moved from London to Northumberland in 1999 and twenty odd years later and widowed I still feel I'm on another planet. The good thing is my kids have moved away for their careers, as well as their friends, they are all over the world.

I live in your commute timeline. If I could live anywhere I would move to Lewes, I wish we had moved there when we could.

Although if either of your kids has Sen don't move to East Sussex, I wouldn't live in Kent though because of the school system.

Battle.
Good primary and non selective Secondary. One hour to London Bridge.
It ain't multicultural though!

Warlingham, Woldingham, Oxted are on the East Grinstead/London Bridge line and when its working well it will get you to London Bridge in half an hour.

I live in a remote, rural area . A lot of people moved here during lockdown. Many of them are now finding it hard. Having to drive everywhere, school catchments are huge so children can make friends but they might be an hour and a half away, nothing to do in the Winter unless you like walking in the rain etc etc. So you certainly aren’t alone OP.
Someone I knew (no longer alive), moved here many decades ago and stayed, but he was actually never happy and would have had much more fun staying in London, so don’t waste your one precious life somewhere you aren’t happy OP.
With your budget I would go back to London, why not ? London is a wonderful city and you have enough money to get a nice house with a garden.
I like rural life overall, I am back in my home place and I am staying here, but there are huge downsides and it really doesn’t suit everyone. I lived in London for a few years for work and there are things I miss. I find people here are much more competitive and gossipy than in London where there is a bigger pool of people. I hate having to drive everywhere. Winters can be tough when it rains non-stop , I miss city Winters, with leaves on pavements and lit up shops. My younger daughter gets bored and stir crazy and want things to do but going anywhere means a long drive. I am a lot fatter and less fit as I walked everywhere in London but here the distances are too great. The nearest hospital is many miles away, which in an emergency can be terrifying.

Kent has some fantastic schools, some of the best grammar school and outstanding school

That's your opinion. Personally I don't agree with selective education and the reason why we chose to live in East Sussex not Kent.

staplehurst and around there.

Tunbridge Wells seems to be catching up with Sevenoaks price wise, though there is far more housing stock. You'd something decent for 1.2 million.

I'd always choose TW over Sevenoaks - mainly because of the "nightlife' Very limited in the latter

You could try Bromley/Beckenham area - lots of cafes, restaurants, parks.
In zone 4, 20-25min into London Bridge, Victoria, Charing X. State, private and grammar school options

Also theatre, cinemas, high streets (some villagey and another not-so)

You Londoners are a persuasive bunch! It's so tempting!

Thanks. What do you mean by nightlife? As in late night bars and clubs, or restaurants? (Just so I'm clear)

Haselmere?

Lol - come back, come back .... (also Beckenham area is fabulous)

What’s “too liberal”?

I was wondering this too.

As an East Anglian who made the escape 20 years ago I'm not remotely surprised by this. It can be pretty grim!

Haslemere 🙂

It just seems quixotic to me to be unhappy after leaving London and then to buy in another non London location - if you miss London, come back!

For your budget, you can get a nice house with a garden near good schools and you'll save a lot on commute as well

Guildford is a great place and close to London. On the a3 so not too far to the south coast beaches and New Forest area. Chichester is another place that will fit the bill for you. With your budget plenty of choice. Major point is if you are not happy where you live that won’t change. My mother moved to Boston and whenever I went through the flat lands to see her I thought no way could I live here! We try to damp down our feelings about places and situations hopeing they will change. In my experience they don’t.