Do downsizers ever downsize?

[NewbieOnHolidays]

We’ve seen so many detached family houses with husband and wife in their 50-60s (kids grew up and left), so now just 2 people living on 200+ sq.m. They all say they want to downsize, put house on the market at an astronomical price and fail to get offers anywhere close to asking and then just take it off the market. So once again a house came up, after 3 weeks they managed to get about 10 people who wanted to view, did an open day, we put an offer below asking, were now told there were 5 offers with 3 above asking, so they rejected our offer. We’ve been in this boat so many times and it always end up same way: we compete against non existent buyers who are very keen, offer way above asking, then we see the house keeps staying on the market or just disappears without sstc. Same street couple of months ago after 3 rounds of best an final competing against “many interested couples” and upping our offer every time we just got fed up and walked away, in few weeks sellers took it off the market. Do downsizers ever downsize?

I always wonder about this when I watch programmes like "Escape to the Country". They regularly get retired couple who claim that they want to downsize, but who regularly reject what they're shown because it's "too small". And they always seem to want at least four bedrooms for the family to stay in, even when the reality is that the family live very close so won't be staying overnight, or they live some way away and will only stay over around once a year and could easily be put up in a local B&B. I always want to ask them why they want all those extra rooms which they will have to keep clean only to stand empty most of the year.

My mum did downsize but only at the point when she needed to be near better facilities and she no longer thought her grandchildren might stay over.

My husband and I don't have kids but we ended up in a family sized house purely because it was what we could afford/ what was on the market in the location we wanted to be in which had parking.

We had wanted to find a two bed bungalow or ground floor flat when we bought to future proof and make it easier for my mum to stay, but the ones we could afford only had defacto parking for one car, and we work in opposite directions.

Even now bungalows are more expensive unless we completely relocate to a different part of the country. There is only one lot of ground floor flats in our town and they rarely come up for sale. We will relocate when I retire and downsize then.

Lots of people put in offers that if accepted they want it off Rightmove immediately so you never would see it saying sstc.

They are building new apartments in my area, clearly aimed at downsizers but they cost more than than my 4 bed house

I have alot of sympathy with those who don't want to move actually.
When I retire, I want to do all sorts of things, including craft and sewing. I want a study/sewing room and dh will need a study too. He woudl like a workroom.

I think that retired people actually need more space, not less. Added to which, if your kids regualry come to stay with grandkids, or your friends come to stay, you use the rooms.

I know that is not a popular view, they are all supposed to downsize, but if you have a large house and like using it, why shoudl you?

My parents did down size, sort of. They moved form a large rambbling farmhouse ina small village with lots of garden to a more modern more compact easy to maintain home with a small garden, in a town, so within walking distance of GP, shops etc. But it is still a large house with enough bedrooms for family to use. It is same size as my house and I have 3 kids.

We're in the process of buying a new property. Large victorian detached. Vendor is widow in her 70s.

The vendor owns the small lodge next door on the other side of the garden. Her and her late husband have been refurbishing & extending it. Late husband passed away in December; apparently this was quite unexpected.

She told us she just wants to move and she wants to move quickly; turned down other offers because they couldn't move until later in the year. She messages me every so often and we keep each other updated with the conveyancing process.

So in our case, yes, people do downsize.

I think this is a thing, but that it's not specific to downsizers or generational. Basically, you never really want to be in a property transaction where the other party is moving because they'd like to rather than because they need to. With no deadline or imperative to concentrate the mind people are much more likely to hold out for unrealistic prices or just to never actually complete because they can't find anywhere that meets their standards.

DH and I live in a 5 bed 3 reception room house. We love our neighbours and its very convenient for the shops and train station plus we have friends and family right nearby. In theory we could downsize but I worry about going back to some of the bad situations we've lived in previously with lots of neighbour noise, poor walkability, etc. Why leave when we're finally living somewhere that makes us happy? It would be nice to free up a bit of cash but so much would be eaten up by stamp duty and moving costs it just wouldn't be worth it. Plus we like having a piano room, a music room, space for friends to stay, etc.

So instead we intend to make the most of the space we've got. Right now we have a lovely Ukrainian family of 3 staying with is and we're really enjoying their company. In future when they go we'll probably take in a carefully selected lodger or two at a low rent. I kind of think cohousing solutions are the way forward - a kindhearted young person gets deeply discounted rent in exchange for keeping an eye out for their elderly housemates, taking the heavy bins out, that sort of thing. Could be mutually beneficial.

Interesting thread, my DPs did downsize, but not until their 80s. Thinking about where DH and I live now , a small development of 4-5 bed homes and only one of them is occupied by a family . DH and I (early 60s) live in a 5 bed house, our DS is at Uni so rarely here & will hopefully live elsewhere when he graduates. In theory we could downsize but we like it here, are fortunate to be able to manage the bills etc ... huge hassle to move and no real desire to leave the area. . All our neighbours, a number of them single after being widowed, probably feel exactly the same.

I don’t really get the argument that old people need family sized houses for their family to come and stay. Why don’t they go and stay with their adult children who are in family sized houses due to having a family? Especially with young grandchildren it’s easier for them to stay in their own house with all their stuff/toys.

Because family houses are usually full of family and where would you squeeze in grandparents?

And because grandparents often hold out hope for family to visit them and many (not all) will do what they can to try to make it happen?

there are lots of interesting reasons given here which I can understand, but I have to admit I am shocked that so many simply don’t want to pay stamp duty, when the housing market has very likely been kind to them and accumulated several hundrend thousand on the value of their house. For example £7,500 on a £350,000 downsized house, from the sale of a £500,000 house (which is likely to be a large proportion mortgage free, if not owned outright) does not seem excessive to me.

Spare bedroom or sofa bed in living room? If 4 & 5 bedroom houses weren’t full of couples like on this thread then there would be more of them for families of four to have a spare room!

I was warned by the local estate agent of this when relocating. Lots put house on market. Sell Immediately. Then find that what they want doesn't exist, or costs the same as what they are selling for, by the time you have paid stamp duty and fees.

Where I live two bedroom bungalows sell for as much as four bed detached houses, such is the demand for them. I think the reason they're so in demand is all the reasons people have listed here which makes them perfect homes for downsizers: big mature gardens, often on quiet roads, with generous sized rooms, decent storage, and parking for a couple of cars. There's just not enough suitable housing stock available for people that want to downsize but keep some of the creature comforts of their current homes. There's a reason why bungalows are under offer in a matter of days but McCarthy Stone type retirement apartments are languishing on the market for months- the type of housing being built for downsizers/retirees doesn't actually suit their needs or wants.

I also think our stamp duty system incentivises home owners to stay put rather than move to a smaller home. If stamp duty was abolished as a lump sum up front at the time of purchase, and charged as an annual tax dependant on the size of your house instead then perhaps people would be more motivated to downsize. However, the demographic most likely to turn out at general elections would also be the demographic with the most to lose from a policy like this- it would be like turkeys voting for Christmas! But I feel your pain OP, what a frustrating situation to be in.

There was a thread similar to this recently. I don’t get this notion that there is some sort of moral obligation on people to downsize and make way for families. The OP says she lives with three kids in a small flat - she chose this and it is not imperative on others to accommodate her choices. I don’t look at older people in large houses and think they shouldn’t enjoy them and have a right to them. There is a huge culture of entitlement and a sense of “my rights” in society and this is coupled with a depressing and unpleasant anti-older people sentiment that if directed at any other group would be discriminatory and frowned upon. It is overpopulation and people choosing to have more than their “replacements” in terms of children that will put pressure on the housing market now and in the future, it is not just older people not downsizing quick enough to please others.

We're in the middle of buying a house from a downsizer - we viewed six properties, all of them either probate or downsizing. What was noticeable, was that all the properties were in quite a state - lack of maintenance to roofs and gutters, very tired decor, disintegrating kitchens and bathrooms, adaptations such as stairlifts, step in bath tubs, handrails. These weren't people downsizing whilst still relatively fit, these were people who'd hung on as long as possible (and probably longer than they should!) in the house.

All of them had back-to-back viewings booked, lots of competition and went to offers over. There has been nothing else on the market in a similar size/location category.

Our seller has been a bit of a nightmare - changing mind about moving into rented, didn't seem to have much idea about the sales process (he'd been in the house several decades), delayed exchange several times as he 'wasn't ready' yet, even though all the paperwork was done.

It looks like, for whatever reason, people aren't downsizing until they really have to - ie going into a care home or a retirement flat. Our seller is moving to a retirement flat and we've had to agree to take all the appliances, which we don't need, to get things to actually move forward.

My Mum has downsized twice - she's now in a 3 bed/3 reception room detached bungalow with gardens and a garage near a bus route. What was noticeable was that she only did it because she had to (original downsize was to a village with rare public transport and no amenities) and she was still insistent on needing a bedroom to use as a 'study' because she didn't want her computer and bank statement files in the living room and somewhere for visitors to stay. She lives hours away from me and DB and couldn't get her head round asking us to stay in a B&B.

We are trying to move from 5 bed, 2bath to a new area.

3bed 2 bath with good bus routes.

Difficult to find.
To explain. serious health issues much easier with another b'room. Space for sewing.

@WorriedWoking

Oh sweet summer child, how old are you?

But for both of you, that's just MOVING not downsizing!

We thought about having a sofa bed in living room for guests but most of our (small!) family would already not be able to use one - the one remaining grandparent would struggle to sleep on one as mid-70s,
very bad back and already had a knee replacement. She wants a nice proper firm bed, with a table next to it for her glasses, a lamp and book.

We also noticed she wouldn't consider moving to a leasehold property after owning a freehold as thought they were too expensive and risky. And she was very wary about retirement complexes in case she didn't like the neighbours(!), felt obliged to get involved in social events and liked the flexibility of being able to have family to stay whenever instead of having to book the guest room some of these places offered.

Changes to working lives too mean downsizing is later. Many people now have to work to mid/late 60s and so may need somewhere to WFH. A lot of people have kids later now so are in their 50s or 60s with children/teens still at home.

We're 40s and 60s with primary age DC and upsizing to a 6 bed at the moment as we need to the space for WFH!

I think too that people forget that to those of an older generation houses weren’t seen as investments and a scramble to move up the housing ladder. Houses are far more than that, they contain memories and comfort. My 72 year old dad still lives alone in my four bed childhood home (a bigger home than mine), many years after mum died but he is happy there and it contains so much of his life. It goes beyond bricks and mortar and is in the realms of emotional ties and comforts.
Also in terms of the points made about poor maintenance and more likely dated rooms and fixtures, again it has to be remembered that older generations were more frugal generally and culturally there wasn’t the endless purchasing and upgrading we see now. Home fashions came around much slower and people used things for much longer. A house was all about being a home. There is far more of a culture of showhoming now, the need to have everything up to date and ready to display to others.

See I view it the other way - that older people are entitled for wanting to live in large family homes that they don’t need. It’s this kind of thing that leads to village primary schools closing down because there aren’t any kids left in the village. The birth rate is declining and has been below replacement rate since 1973 btw.