Ex husband risking sale of the house

Rainbowdropz · 2021-08-21T06:34:43+00:00

Good morning all, I told my husband I wanted s divorce in Feb 2020, I started the process in court and online. We have been living together throughout the whole process (which has been acrimonious and we do not speak) and we've been legally divorced since April this year. We have a final hearing to sort out the finances next year. In the meantime we both agreed to sell the house. We've found a buyer, but we cant agree on where the funds should go. My solicitor has offered to hold the funds but as he is a narcissist, he has disagreed. My ex wanted his solicitor to hold the funds, but his solicitor is unprofessional and had to be shown how to upload documents by my solicitor- so I have no confidence in his solicitor. My ex has suggested that he take half the funds and I take half. I've rejected this solution, as he could easily dissipate the funds and it would be harder to get the funds back following the final hearing if I am to be awarded more. The conveyancing solicitors have stated that they cannot hold funds after the completion date. We had a joint account that we no longer use, I spoke to the bank and they said they could block withdrawals from the account and we would both need to come in to make withdrawls. I made this suggestion to my ex and he rejected it. Yesterday, I found out that he has somehow managed to go to the bank and close our joint account so now that option is no longer available. What other options are available that won't be costly, as the only thing I can see us doing is pulling out of the sale of the house until the hearing is done. If anyone has any suggestions, I'd be grateful. Thanks in advance!

SaltySheepdog · 21/08/2021 07:38

Split the cash so you’ve 60% and he’s 40%

Bluntness100 · 21/08/2021 07:40

It’s up to you, if you don’t wish to settle for half in the off chance you get more then you will need to let the sale fall through and sell when you’ve been through court.

Araisaris · 21/08/2021 07:57

There must be somewhere that the funds can be held in escrow. could someone recommend an escrow agent?

OneRingToRuleThemAll · 21/08/2021 08:05

I wouldn't worry about all that. As soon as the buyer gets wind that it's a sale due to split and there's animosity and game playing they will pull out themselves. I offered on one of these houses a few months ago and ran by about 2 weeks into the transaction.

thirstyformore · 21/08/2021 08:14

The money will be safe with either solicitor. I would just let his solicitor hold it in their client account. He or she can give an undertaking to hold it to your account and they will be liable to you in the event of any breach.

Annoying that he won't use your solicitor but as a step towards getting rid I would see this as an easy and worthwhile compromise.

spotcheck · 21/08/2021 08:15

Surely your solicitor has ideas? Even if his solicitor has trouble uploading files, that doesn't mean that they will embezzle the cash for your ex. Having shaky IT skills is hardly illegal. Surely your solicitor will ensure you sign the right agreements to make sure the is allocated properly after the hearing.

SW1amp · 21/08/2021 08:17

What’s the worst that could happen if it’s with his solicitor?
They might be a bit technically incompetent but they aren’t suddenly going to transfer all the cash to him when there is a paper trail of explicit instructions saying they need to hold it in escrow until after the financial settlement, and then split it according to the courts instructions

And even if they did, you would have legal recourse

Fireflygal · 21/08/2021 08:20

When is the court date? As next year does seem like a really long time to have to hold funds. You mention final hearing, what happened at FDR? Was any provision made for house sale in the interim, where would you live post sale?

Are their children involved? It must be horrendous to live with. If your Ex is a narcisstic then he will fight to win and use any tactic I had a very, very difficult divorce from a narcissist and did walk away with less than I should have received because I couldn't face the conflict any longer.

Can you risk assess what would happen if his solicitor held the funds? I don't know if there is a genuine risk. That might be the question to ask.

If you really can't let his solicitor hold the funds then I think you have to pull out if the sale.

Original poster

Rainbowdropz · 21/08/2021 08:39

@SaltySheepdog

Split the cash so you’ve 60% and he’s 40%

@SaltySheepdog he wouldn't agree to that. He has been explicit in stating that it should be split 50/50.

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DifficultBloodyWoman · 21/08/2021 08:43

Sounds like a monumental PITA.

Could you engage a third solicitor to hold the funds? You (or he) could supply a list of three and then he (or you) choose one?

What about agreeing to put it in a term deposit account that can only be accessed after your court date?

Or opening a new account together?

Original poster

Rainbowdropz · 21/08/2021 08:44

@Bluntness100

It’s up to you, if you don’t wish to settle for half in the off chance you get more then you will need to let the sale fall through and sell when you’ve been through court.

@Bluntness100 we had a financial dispute resolution hearing and the judge said I should be awarded more, should it go to a final hearing. So he is purposely being obstructive by offering 50/50. He also tried to persuade me to not go to a final hearing and settle at 50/50 hence why I am hesitant.

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Original poster

Rainbowdropz · 21/08/2021 08:45

@Araisaris

There must be somewhere that the funds can be held in escrow. could someone recommend an escrow agent?

@Araisaris I've been trying to loon for them online but it seems they're mostly used by businesses. I would feel more confident if I had recommendations.

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Original poster

Rainbowdropz · 21/08/2021 08:47

@OneRingToRuleThemAll

I wouldn't worry about all that. As soon as the buyer gets wind that it's a sale due to split and there's animosity and game playing they will pull out themselves. I offered on one of these houses a few months ago and ran by about 2 weeks into the transaction.

@oneRingToRuleThemAll I know this could be a likely outcome. I'm hoping it doesn't come to this, hence why I'm trying to find a solution.

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Original poster

Rainbowdropz · 21/08/2021 08:50

@thirstyformore

The money will be safe with either solicitor. I would just let his solicitor hold it in their client account. He or she can give an undertaking to hold it to your account and they will be liable to you in the event of any breach.

Annoying that he won't use your solicitor but as a step towards getting rid I would see this as an easy and worthwhile compromise.

@thirstyformore his solicitor doesn't specialise in Family Law and took on the case, as I think he was dealing with my ex husband's immigration issues. His solicitor specialises in immigration law and hasn't been acting in a way that would instill confidence that he would not give his client all the funds. It's all very messy.

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Original poster

Rainbowdropz · 21/08/2021 08:53

@spotcheck

Surely your solicitor has ideas? Even if his solicitor has trouble uploading files, that doesn't mean that they will embezzle the cash for your ex. Having shaky IT skills is hardly illegal. Surely your solicitor will ensure you sign the right agreements to make sure the is allocated properly after the hearing.

@spotcheck his solicitor has been very dodgy throughout the process and my solicitor has also advised against him having the funds due to this. The shaky IT skills isn't the issue so much but just his solicitor hasn't followed processes properly throughout the court proceedings etc. I wouldn't have confidence in him at all, that's my issue.

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Original poster

Rainbowdropz · 21/08/2021 08:55

@SW1amp

What’s the worst that could happen if it’s with his solicitor? They might be a bit technically incompetent but they aren’t suddenly going to transfer all the cash to him when there is a paper trail of explicit instructions saying they need to hold it in escrow until after the financial settlement, and then split it according to the courts instructions

And even if they did, you would have legal recourse

@SW1amp his solicitor hasn't been following processes to the book and is very dodgy. Even their online Google reviews aren't great either, to put it lightly. The issue is, in the event his solicitor tried something dodgy, I don't have the energy or the time to fight it. It's been a bad year and a half as it is.

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Capricornandproud · 21/08/2021 08:56

Do not let it go to his solicitor. Fight it and enlist a new third party.

Original poster

Rainbowdropz · 21/08/2021 09:02

@Fireflygal

When is the court date? As next year does seem like a really long time to have to hold funds. You mention final hearing, what happened at FDR? Was any provision made for house sale in the interim, where would you live post sale?

Are their children involved? It must be horrendous to live with. If your Ex is a narcisstic then he will fight to win and use any tactic I had a very, very difficult divorce from a narcissist and did walk away with less than I should have received because I couldn't face the conflict any longer.

Can you risk assess what would happen if his solicitor held the funds? I don't know if there is a genuine risk. That might be the question to ask.

If you really can't let his solicitor hold the funds then I think you have to pull out if the sale.

@Fireflygal the court date is set for the middle of January next year.

At FDR the judge advised that if it were to go to final hearing I would get a majority of the equity. Our hearing was on a Friday and the judge gave us until Wednesday to come to an agreement. The judge stated that if we didn't settle he would attach a penal notice to the order to get him to disclose his business accounts, as he hadn't disclosed this. We tried negotiations and he originally agreed to settle, then after the weekend he changed his mind and offered me half again. So I rejected his offer and now we're heading to a final hearing in January.

We have a 6 year old child together and he's purposely been arguing in front of our child etc. The school has been involved, the police and social services. I've been advised to move out to safe guard my child, but I don't have the funds to do so. It's been stressful to put it lightly. My ex originally stated that he would leave the FMH but then he changed his mind, so we've been in the same house since.

The risk is quite high if his solicitor were to hold the funds.

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Original poster

Rainbowdropz · 21/08/2021 09:06

@DifficultBloodyWoman

Sounds like a monumental PITA.

Could you engage a third solicitor to hold the funds? You (or he) could supply a list of three and then he (or you) choose one?

What about agreeing to put it in a term deposit account that can only be accessed after your court date?

Or opening a new account together?

@DifficultBloodyWoman originally he told me that I should foot the whole bill for everything, even though its a shared issue. I do not have the funds to do everything myself. This divorce has already been so costly.

I will look into a term deposit as I'm not aware of what that entails. He definitely would not agree to opening a new shared account, as he told me that he doesn't trust me when I mentioned the shared account we did have and then he closed it.

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Original poster

Rainbowdropz · 21/08/2021 09:07

@Capricornandproud

Do not let it go to his solicitor. Fight it and enlist a new third party.

@Capricornandproud it definitely needs to be with someone impartial, hence why I tried to use the bank. He's made everything difficult.

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Goodtimesx · 21/08/2021 09:11

I sold the family home after a messy divorce and it was hard (obstructive ex) but we had sorted the finances in court.

My solicitor did not want to hold the funds after sale for more than a day or two. She said they don’t like to do it but not sure why sorry.

Spickle · 21/08/2021 09:32

Did either of you have a matrimonial solicitor instructed for your divorce? If so, they can hold the funds pending the consent order. Alternatively, if you and your ex can agree without going to court on the split of funds, you would both need to sign letters confirming your agreement to the percentages and providing account numbers for the funds to be credited, after the deductions for the estate agent and/or lender have been paid.

Conveyancing solicitors are not allowed to hold funds after completion, so that would not be possible. They would be able to liaise with the matrimonial solicitors however and would agree to forward the sales proceeds to them, upon your/ex's written authority.

Original poster

Rainbowdropz · 21/08/2021 09:38

@Goodtimesx

I sold the family home after a messy divorce and it was hard (obstructive ex) but we had sorted the finances in court.

My solicitor did not want to hold the funds after sale for more than a day or two. She said they don’t like to do it but not sure why sorry.

@Goodtimesx I'm glad to hear that your ordeal is over, gives me hope that there's light at the end of the tunnel.

I spoke to our conveyancing solicitor and they have stated that they will not hold the funds past the day of completion, hence why I asked my solicitor. My ex husband is a narcissist and everything needs to be his way. It makes it all the more difficult.

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Bluntness100 · 21/08/2021 09:41

Honestly if he’s not going to agree and you’re not going to agree rhen you need to take it off the market, wait for the hearing then go to market after that op.

Original poster

Rainbowdropz · 21/08/2021 09:42

@Spickle

Did either of you have a matrimonial solicitor instructed for your divorce? If so, they can hold the funds pending the consent order. Alternatively, if you and your ex can agree without going to court on the split of funds, you would both need to sign letters confirming your agreement to the percentages and providing account numbers for the funds to be credited, after the deductions for the estate agent and/or lender have been paid.

Conveyancing solicitors are not allowed to hold funds after completion, so that would not be possible. They would be able to liaise with the matrimonial solicitors however and would agree to forward the sales proceeds to them, upon your/ex's written authority.

@Spickle we both have matrimonial solicitors, but we both don't want the other parties solicitor to hold the funds. The issue is we cannot agree on how the funds should be split, hence why we are heading to a final hearing. He wants us to split everything 50/50, but at FDR the judge indicated that I should get the majority of the equity. So he is trying to impose the 50/50 split based on the sale funds. He also tried to convince me to agree to a 50/50 split, which I declined.

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