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Original poster

Ex husband risking sale of the house

84 replies

Rainbowdropz · 21/08/2021 07:34

Good morning all,

I told my husband I wanted s divorce in Feb 2020, I started the process in court and online. We have been living together throughout the whole process (which has been acrimonious and we do not speak) and we've been legally divorced since April this year. We have a final hearing to sort out the finances next year.

In the meantime we both agreed to sell the house. We've found a buyer, but we cant agree on where the funds should go. My solicitor has offered to hold the funds but as he is a narcissist, he has disagreed. My ex wanted his solicitor to hold the funds, but his solicitor is unprofessional and had to be shown how to upload documents by my solicitor- so I have no confidence in his solicitor. My ex has suggested that he take half the funds and I take half. I've rejected this solution, as he could easily dissipate the funds and it would be harder to get the funds back following the final hearing if I am to be awarded more. The conveyancing solicitors have stated that they cannot hold funds after the completion date. We had a joint account that we no longer use, I spoke to the bank and they said they could block withdrawals from the account and we would both need to come in to make withdrawls. I made this suggestion to my ex and he rejected it. Yesterday, I found out that he has somehow managed to go to the bank and close our joint account so now that option is no longer available.

What other options are available that won't be costly, as the only thing I can see us doing is pulling out of the sale of the house until the hearing is done.

If anyone has any suggestions, I'd be grateful.
Thanks in advance!

OP posts:

Disfordarkchocolate · 21/08/2021 09:42

Would a separate solicitor do this for you, or would he block finding a new one?

thenewduchessofhastings · 21/08/2021 09:47

If the school,SS and are involved and you've sold the house;aren't you moving anyway?

Spickle · 21/08/2021 09:49

Reading your response to my post, I would suggest you do as Bluntness100 has suggested. Once you have the consent order, re-market the house and get the monies transferred as per the consent order at completion. You are both stringing your buyer along at the moment and neither of you are in a position to proceed.

January is not that far away, though I am sure it cannot be easy sharing the house. Don't move out though! It's as much your house as his.

Bluntness100 · 21/08/2021 10:09

Agree, you’re not in a position to proceed and should never have went to market, it’s totally unfair on your buyers. You’re in an acrimonious divorce and have not agreed the fund split. Of course he’s not going to give you more before the hearing and you’re not going to accept fifty percent.

Original poster

Rainbowdropz · 21/08/2021 11:01

@thenewduchessofhastings

If the school,SS and are involved and you've sold the house;aren't you moving anyway?

@thenewduchessofhastings I haven't been able to move due to finances and the council can't help either. I was having to pay for both the child arrangements case and the finances up until recently. In a couple months, I'll be in a better position to rent. Currently, I can just about afford my legal fees.

OP posts:

Original poster

Rainbowdropz · 21/08/2021 11:06

@Spickle

January is not that far away, though I am sure it cannot be easy sharing the house. Don't move out though! It's as much your house as his.

@Spickle my ex has refused to move out and I have no choice but to. SS have told me that in responsible to ensure my son is safeguarded, otherwise if they receive another report from the school or police, they'll have to intervene and make an assessment.

There is a clause as part of the child arrangement order, that we cannot live with each other 6 months after the order has been made or it will invalidate the arrangement and we'd have to go back to court again. So as the order was made in June, we need to live apart by December. My ex husband is a narcissist and has refused to move. So even though he's financially in a better position, I know he won't move out. I cannot risk going back to court again - as I don't have the willpower nor funds.

OP posts:

Original poster

Rainbowdropz · 21/08/2021 11:10

@Bluntness100

@Bluntness100 originally I had rejected putting the house on the market until the final hearing, as I thought we'd be given a final hearing date before the end of the year. When I was informed the final hearing would be in 2022, I decided to put the house up for sale - as I knew I had to be out by December anyway due to the clause in the child arrangements order that prevents us from living together 6 months after the order was made. I had assumed that the funds could be held and we later learned that this was not the case. I've spoken to the estate agents and they're trying to find an in house solicitor who can hold the funds. If not, we'll have to wait until 2022 to sell the house.

OP posts:

Twiglets1 · 21/08/2021 11:36

Oh just use his solicitor, this is so obvious

readytosell · 21/08/2021 11:59

@Twiglets1

Oh just use his solicitor, this is so obvious

Agreed.

I get it that you don't trust the solicitor or whatever, but quite frankly assuming he's regulated and the firm will be holding the funds it's a very unlikely situation he is just going to run off with the funds.

As my boss says , you're finding problems not solutions.

SecretOfChange · 21/08/2021 12:21

I would consider 50/50 a reasonable option at this stage and it will allow you to move forwards which is important and to a degree, priceless.

titchy · 21/08/2021 12:57

Is his solicitor part of a firm or a sole trader? Properly regulated? If so can you suggest 50/50 in each solicitor's client account with some sort of legal undertaking from them not to distribute until after the final hearing in January?

It's not ideal I agree, but I'd be concerned about you leaving the house and relisting in the new year as it could be very easy for him to then scupper any future sale.

titchy · 21/08/2021 12:58

How much equity is involved?

thecognoscenti · 21/08/2021 13:11

Let his solicitor hold it. They'll be regulated. They can give your solicitor an undertaking not to release the funds without both your agreement.

Motherof3Dragons · 21/08/2021 13:12

I agree with the last posters - split the funds 50/50 for now, wait for the final hearing if you could possibly get more than that, but get the heck out of this toxic living arrangement asap and give yourself & your DS a bit of peace. Your priority should be the safeguarding of your child - no amount of extra money should be worth risking this! Currently you are both digging your heels in and your Ex couldn’t care less about what you/ your DS wants/ needs - he won’t change his stance at this stage. I would be horrified and stressed out with concern about my child first and foremost, not the financial matters.

Original poster

Rainbowdropz · 21/08/2021 13:44

@Twiglets1

Oh just use his solicitor, this is so obvious

@Twiglets1 & @readytosell the issue is that I'm not sure that he is regulated by the SRA. There's no mention of them on his website. And I do think that his solicitor is a sole trader, it doesn't appear to be part of a firm. I do think it we were to remove the house from the market, he would make it difficult to sell it once the judge gives us an outcome. He acts as if I'm the difficult person but he continues to drag his heels.

OP posts:

readytosell · 21/08/2021 14:10

You can check on the SRA website:

www.sra.org.uk/consumers/register/

Even if he's a sole trader, that's not necessarily a big issue if he is regulated. Unregulated that's a whole other thing...

titchy · 21/08/2021 14:35

Can you go back to court for a specific issue order?

Fireflygal · 21/08/2021 16:16

How much equity are you dealing with?

Just to warn you, the final hearing could have a different outcome so consider how much you are fighting over. A friend went to FH but ended up closer to settlement her Ex wanted. It's just down to the judge on the day.

I really know how awful it is and I walked away with less BUT a narcissist will not give up - consider how much peace in your life is worth?

condensationwindows · 21/08/2021 16:23

Who is doing the conveyancing work? It will be that solicitor who receives the purchase price from your buyer so that solicitor will hold the funds, pay off your mortgage if there is one, pay and outlays and then have the balance. It is against Law Society rules for a Solicitor to hold funds any longer than a few days after a house sale.

Are you saying the funds need to be held somewhere after the sale and up until the court hearing? If that is longer than a few days, it can’t be a solicitor as far as I am aware.

Starseeking · 21/08/2021 16:49

If his solicitor is legitimate, he will be regulated by The Law Society, and listed on their website.

If you check and his solicitor is listed there, I would allow him to hold the funds. This situation sounds so stressful for you, and particularly for your 6 year old DS. You need to try and help the whole thing draw to a conclusion.

BasiliskStare · 21/08/2021 18:11

Depending on the amount I would probably agree to 50 50 just to get it done and dusted & then you don't have to deal with him any more

BasiliskStare · 21/08/2021 18:22

As an example I sold a house with a partner I split up from and it was in negative equity - not any money to share. He refused to pay anythIng towards that - I paid it ( borrowed ) just to get him out of my hair. Worth every penny. But it depends on circumstances. Many years on I do not begrudge a penny of that. I would rather never see that man again than have some money in the bank. But as I say - circumstances

Best wishes but let not the good stay in way of the perfect ( or whatever the saying is )

iloverock · 21/08/2021 18:24

His solicitor will not be practicing without SRA authorisation. If he is part of an authorised firm then he has insurance.
If the solicitor gives an undertaking then he is bound by that.
If he failed then the insurance would pay out.

But why can't you ask the judge to make an order that your solicitor holds the funds. It can be an undertaking to court.

ShingleBeach · 21/08/2021 18:30

Can the conveyancing solicitor not put it in an escrow account?

ShingleBeach · 21/08/2021 18:32

Get your solicitor to advise you on any risks of his solicitors holding it?

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