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Original poster

Ex husband risking sale of the house

84 replies

Rainbowdropz · 21/08/2021 07:34

Good morning all,

I told my husband I wanted s divorce in Feb 2020, I started the process in court and online. We have been living together throughout the whole process (which has been acrimonious and we do not speak) and we've been legally divorced since April this year. We have a final hearing to sort out the finances next year.

In the meantime we both agreed to sell the house. We've found a buyer, but we cant agree on where the funds should go. My solicitor has offered to hold the funds but as he is a narcissist, he has disagreed. My ex wanted his solicitor to hold the funds, but his solicitor is unprofessional and had to be shown how to upload documents by my solicitor- so I have no confidence in his solicitor. My ex has suggested that he take half the funds and I take half. I've rejected this solution, as he could easily dissipate the funds and it would be harder to get the funds back following the final hearing if I am to be awarded more. The conveyancing solicitors have stated that they cannot hold funds after the completion date. We had a joint account that we no longer use, I spoke to the bank and they said they could block withdrawals from the account and we would both need to come in to make withdrawls. I made this suggestion to my ex and he rejected it. Yesterday, I found out that he has somehow managed to go to the bank and close our joint account so now that option is no longer available.

What other options are available that won't be costly, as the only thing I can see us doing is pulling out of the sale of the house until the hearing is done.

If anyone has any suggestions, I'd be grateful.
Thanks in advance!

OP posts:

Voicefancier · 21/08/2021 18:34

It seems a simple choice if neither of you can agree who can hold the funds. Either risk losing part of the funds but maintain your mental health; or keep your child in this toxic situation and take the house off the market and try and sell it again some time next year.

Voicefancier · 21/08/2021 18:39

@BasiliskStare
Don't let perfect be the enemy of good.

Original poster

Rainbowdropz · 21/08/2021 22:59

@readytosell

You can check on the SRA website:

www.sra.org.uk/consumers/register/

Even if he's a sole trader, that's not necessarily a big issue if he is regulated. Unregulated that's a whole other thing...

@readytosell hsi solicitor is listed on there but my solicitor has advised against using his solicitor, due to his unprofessional behaviour and his awareness of procedures. I would be going against legal advice.

OP posts:

Original poster

Rainbowdropz · 21/08/2021 23:07

@Motherof3Dragons

I agree with the last posters - split the funds 50/50 for now, wait for the final hearing if you could possibly get more than that, but get the heck out of this toxic living arrangement asap and give yourself & your DS a bit of peace. Your priority should be the safeguarding of your child - no amount of extra money should be worth risking this! Currently you are both digging your heels in and your Ex couldn’t care less about what you/ your DS wants/ needs - he won’t change his stance at this stage. I would be horrified and stressed out with concern about my child first and foremost, not the financial matters.

@Motherof3Dragons the issue isn't the funds from the house, as I know I won't have access to it till after the hearing. I currently cannot afford to move out. I've been told by the council I will get no help as I am a homeowner. I am worried about what this is doing to my child, I wish you understood how much. I live in an area where I have no support and I would have to drive over 2 hrs away for support. I cannot move my child to another school or back to my parents, due to the order. Until I can afford a deposit for private housing I'm stuck.

OP posts:

Rainbowqueeen · 21/08/2021 23:14

Op suggested using a third solicitor, giving your ex a list of 3 solicitors willing to holding the money and letting him choose. Just do that. They may charge you something so agree the cost will be split equally.

Rainbowqueeen · 21/08/2021 23:15

Pp not op!

Voicefancier · 21/08/2021 23:15

Would 50% of the house sale give you enough money for a deposit for a new house? If so, just take it, and fight for the rest later. If not, then selling the house isn't really improving your situation.

Embracelife · 21/08/2021 23:20

How much would you get in extra equity?
Just go 50 50
Have your money put where you want it
Move on

Delay for a few more £££ and is it worth it?
Or are you talking millions in equity?

Don't put anything in any joint account

Original poster

Rainbowdropz · 21/08/2021 23:24

@Rainbowqueeen

@Rainbowqueeen this is something I will suggest but I just know as I am suggesting it he'll more than likely reject it. That's the issue with who I'm dealing with. But I can only try.

OP posts:

Original poster

Rainbowdropz · 21/08/2021 23:26

@Voicefancier

@Voicefancier 50% wouldn't give me enough, hence why I'm waiting until the final hearing. My ex has hidden funds etc. So going to a final hearing is the only way I'll be able to get enough to reasonably house me and my child.

OP posts:

Voicefancier · 21/08/2021 23:29

Then even if you sell the house, you're stuck with nowhere to go. You can't split the finds without a court ruling and even if you agree in a solicitor to hold the money, you won't be accessing it. Where are you thinking of living if you sell the house?

Original poster

Rainbowdropz · 21/08/2021 23:31

@Embracelife

How much would you get in extra equity? Just go 50 50 Have your money put where you want it Move on

Delay for a few more £££ and is it worth it?
Or are you talking millions in equity?

Don't put anything in any joint account

@Embracelife I could be potentially losing 40-50k if I were to settle for 50/50. You're saying is it worth it, but after all the things that have happened, a final hearing is the only option I've been left with. Originally, I didn't want to go to court but he pretended he was going to give me a reasonable amount of equity then gave me a form to sign over the house to him for a couple thousand pounds, that wouldn't be able to help rehouse me.

OP posts:

Original poster

Rainbowdropz · 21/08/2021 23:33

@Voicefancier

@Voicefancier I'm going to have to rent until I can access the funds. But at present, I don't have enough for the deposit. Hence why I said October/November as it'll give me a chance to get my finances in a position where I'll be able to get a deposit and afford it.

OP posts:

Embracelife · 21/08/2021 23:33

How much is it costing in extra court solicitor fees?
I guess you need to weigh everything up

Original poster

Rainbowdropz · 21/08/2021 23:37

@Embracelife about £10k estimated.

OP posts:

Embracelife · 21/08/2021 23:46

If you have a buyer lined up
And 50 % about to go to you
I would take it
Move on

More months living in stress for you and dc is not worth it

Rainbowqueeen · 22/08/2021 00:00

@Embracelife. Maybe get the solicitor to suggest the idea not you.

Motherof3Dragons · 22/08/2021 07:44

@Rainbowqueen Maybe the OP should ask her solicitor then, not here? It seems that most of the suggestions that were made here, are not suitable for the OP anyway.

Why2why · 22/08/2021 08:03

This is how lawyers end up doing well out of divorces. Do not cut your nose to spite your face. Weight up how much money will be wasted on lawyers versus 50:50 split. How much would the extra 10% really be? If it would get eaten up by lawyers fees, then think carefully about whether it is okay to just let his lawyer hold it.

You said the divorce is acrimonious and it sounds like it. You are both thinking the worse of each other and are blocking progress at every stage to score points. In the end the lawyers will be the ones richer for it.

Why2why · 22/08/2021 08:07

Is that right? 10% would be £40-50k? If 10% is that amount then 50% would be £250k so the equity is around £500k?

Why2why · 22/08/2021 08:10

And you said 50% would not give you enough for a deposit. Your figures simply don’t match up. 50% would £250k (if as you say you stand to lose 50k if you lose 10%) and by most standards that’s more than enough for a deposit.

Embracelife · 22/08/2021 10:33

[quote Rainbowqueeen]@Embracelife. Maybe get the solicitor to suggest the idea not you.[/quote]
Solicitors don't do emotional advice.
Therapists and counsellor help client weigh up decisions
Solicitors follow client instructions
May look at it more from client should get xxx amount, quite rightly

But Which may mean longer more drawn out case
More ££££ inevitable in court and Solicitors fees

But there is emotional /stress cost
Client has to weigh up

titchy · 22/08/2021 10:45

The simplest thing seems to be to split the proceeds 50/50 and let each party's solicitor hold their 50% until the January hearing.

It means you don't lose your buyer, but given that neither party can access it it's no admission that 50/50 is what you'll settle for.

His solicitor may be an incompetent arrogant dick, but surely he wouldn't risk his registration by doing something a court has ordered him not to do.

Original poster

Rainbowdropz · 22/08/2021 11:57

@Why2why

Is that right? 10% would be £40-50k? If 10% is that amount then 50% would be £250k so the equity is around £500k?

@Why2why the equity isn't that high. I need just over £100k to reasonably house my child and I. The issue is, he has hidden funds abroad and disapated approx. 140k from our joint account. I don't know what will come from the disapated funds, so I'm assuming if the judge doesn't do add back, the bulk of my settlement will be from the equity.

OP posts:

Original poster

Rainbowdropz · 22/08/2021 12:01

@Motherof3Dragons @titchy I'm going to speak to my solicitor tomorrow to find out what else she can suggest and also to look into what type of agreement can be made if both solicitors were to hold 50% of the sale each. I also will be speaking to the estate agent, as they are tying to see if another one of their in house conveyancers can help hold funds etc. Thank you for all of your help and suggestions.

OP posts:

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