Does this place exist?

[duchessa]

We're looking to relocate to the UK after many years overseas. We have previously lived in London (pre-kids) but don't want to move back there, for a number of reasons.

We've looked into a number of 'commuter towns' but without wanting to offend anyone who lives in some of these places, we've found most of them to be fairly uninspiring. We currently live in a city and we're used to having amenities/activities/nature on our doorstep.

We're looking for somewhere with some kind of 'buzz' to it. Somewhere with easy access to the countryside/coast. Somewhere with a lovely town centre, interesting, historic buildings, and a low-ish crime rate. Basically Edinburgh or Bath, I suppose, but we can't move to either (Edinburgh too far from family, Bath too long of a commute). Our eldest DC is a tween and youngest is 4 so we need good primary and secondary schools, and enough activities to keep the kids occupied through reception-teenage years.

We've spent some time in St Albans (quite liked it but the central areas are not in the good school catchment zones), still considering Winchester but there are no private day school options for boys, and we're going to look at Tunbridge Wells (it ticks some boxes but we've heard mixed things about living there). Brighton is out. We like Windsor but DH is very noise sensitive so anywhere with that much flight noise won't work. We might have a look at Cambridge, too.

We're leaving somewhere with a perfect climate and lots of activities and to make the repatriation successful we need to find somewhere where we will all be happy. I know it sounds as though we're super fussy but the last thing I want is to move and then, after the trauma of a major international move, have to uproot them again because we chose the 'wrong' place.

We're here for a few more days and this will be our last chance to recce before the repatriation in a few months' time. Is there anywhere else we should consider?

I agree with @WatteauYouTalkingAbout it doesn't exist if you also want a relatively easy commute into London.

We spent about 3 years debating the same and spending weekends in various towns and cities commutable to London and not one ticked all the boxes.

Cambridge came close but the prices in the city centre were pretty much the same as London plus we were then the "wrong" side of London for family in the West Country. The commute would be quite long and expensive too.

Sevenoaks was a close second, good commute and near enough to countryside but there was just no love there for either of us - we didn't want to move somewhere purely for the ease of getting out of the place, we also want things on our doorstep. Plus Kent and the Grammar system....

In the end we stayed in London but moved out slightly to zone 3 to get a bigger house and garden. Commute is 15 mins to London Bridge.

I think if we were to leave London in the future we would move clear of the London orbit completely and perhaps keep a small flat in London if one/ both of us continues to work there. Possibly Wiltshire/ Somerset.

Betterfly - are you the me of the future?! I could have written your post, even down to the family in the West Country, only we haven’t yet decided where to go. I expect it will be a greener bit of London - can I ask where you have ended up?

Haslemere, Farnham, Cranleigh, Godalming.

Haslemere, Farnham, Cranleigh, Godalming.
😂😂😂 Pretty sure the OP wants more buzz than the annual plastic duck race or the craft fair at the Maltings. Plus you only have to read the Herald to know crime is off the chain – lawnmowers stolen from unlocked sheds, the Surrey puma roaming wild, heavy petting in Gostrey Meadows.

heavy petting in Gostrey Meadows.

Snort! I think I might make this the title of my memoirs....

OP, if what you want is something on an architectural par with Bath or Edinburgh, within daily commuting distance of London (and you didn't specify this), then Oxford or Cambridge probably ticks those boxes. Choice of schools (if you are able to go private as well as state) probably fine, need to check on co-ed though. Music/art/sporting opportunities for young 'uns will be plentiful in both e.g. The Royal Drawing School's Young Artists programme runs out of both Oxford and Cambridge museums nowadays, not just London venues. Very international communities in both, which you might find welcome.

Between the student populations and the tourists, you might find yourselves struggling for space on the pavements and sights in that 'buzzy' centre. Will that annoy you?

Cambridge more beautiful and closer to better country and coasts (IMO) .

This is another one of those really irritating threads where the OP never comes back to give any more information.

Worse, AS shows that they've made a load of other posts over the last year asking pretty much exactly the same thing! So I doubt any of us giving suggestions on this thread will make any difference.

Thanks so much for all the responses! I should have clarified, family are all in the SE and my mum doesn't drive so we don't want to be too far, and we will need an occasional commute into London.

We visited Tunbridge Wells today and it was lovely, but I've read very mixed reports about living in the place, though (some say it's very regressive and 'inwards looking' and is also bordered by some rougher places).

Edinburgh would be my dream but the distance from family (plus the challenge of the once or twice a week commute to London) rule it out. I also think, coming from a land of eternal blue skies and sunshine, that the weather might prove to be too much of a challenge that far north!

Some friends have recommended Horsham and Petersfield, we might check them out. Would love any more suggestions, we're trying to see as many places as possible before we head back to our adopted homeland x

Tightwad, I think we should give Oxford and Cambridge a look, too. DH says they're too far from London but the international community element is definitely appealing (as is proximity to the Cotswolds/coast!)

@betterfly that's funny, we spent time in Sevenoaks today and as much as it ticks many boxes on paper, we just didn't get the 'feel'. It doesn't have the character we're looking for, and definitely had a commuter belt feel to it.

@Heronwatcher I think you're right, it probably doesn't exist. As a PP said London sucks the life out of most neighboring towns and cities : (

Have you considered Winchester? I know nothing about the schools but it does remind me of St Albans (where I live) - plenty of history, lots going on, some beautiful buildings, easy access to stunning countryside and fast routes to London.

100% Oxford. Cambridge is a small town (lovely, but small), Oxford is a city. Expensive, as a PP has said, but it's the closest thing to what you're looking for. Commute is no worse on a fast train than parts of the Surrey commuter belt, and it's got a lot more going for it than somewhere like Guildford (which again is great in its own way but not what you're looking for).

Manchester. Head to the posh south bits (Didsbury) and crime is very low, excellent schools both private and state and loads in the line of theatres, restaurants etc. Great trains to London and good metro. Welcome

@burritofan - heavy petting in Gostrey Meadows? sets Rightmove alert

Is Bristol too far from your family OP?

Brighton?

No idea about schools in either.

It does exist- you've literally described Canterbury!

I live in Petersfield and don't think it is what you are describing! It's lovely, but it is a rural market town with a direct train link into London Waterloo.

You sound better suited to Winchester but I don't know enough about the private school that you require. Alternatively, I really would give
Tunbridge Wells a second look as it ticks a lot of your boxes as well. But you want Tunbridge Wells and not Tonbridge.

Oxford
Winchester
Henley (lovely but might be too small)

Chichester.

@duchessa it is disappointing, isn't it? On paper it should have been perfect for us but it just wasn't- we really tried to like it.

@WatteauYouTalkingAbout we ended up in Greenwich/ Blackheath. Great primary schools but secondary not so much unless you go down the private route.

Cambridge has private schools & v good state schools
It has numerous theatres & Mill Road has loads of ethnic restaurants & grocers, It has the Botanic Gardens & 2 Railway routes to London & Stansted Airport is on route

Colchester? Plenty going on, good schools, straight commute to London. The town centre is old style, castle, nice park with things for children, cinema, theatre, restaurants.

Dorking, Epsom, Farnham, Godalming, Chichester?

Thanks @Betterfly- both of those places are on our list so good to know you’re happy with the area!
@duchessa - if you’re only doing an occasional commute to London hopefully that opens more places up to you and you’re not limited to the commuter belt which I don’t think has what you want. Good luck with the move.

Marlow? As someone who lived there when it was very dull, it seems very buzzy these days.