Getting the ‘feel’ about the right house - am I the only one who gets this?

[Finallybroody]

I’m in the process of house hunting. We’ve only viewed 3 houses, all within our price range but none of them did I get the right ‘feel’ about, although DP liked 2 out of the 3.

I can’t quite explain what I mean about the ‘feel’. I’ve had it twice before when finding previous houses, and pounced on those.

I like it to feel clean and cared for, with neutral decor and lots of natural light.

DP is getting frustrated with me because I can’t articulate what I don’t like about the houses exactly. I am willing to overlook old boilers, tired bathrooms/kitchens… but it has to feel right.

Am I alone in this? Properties in our budget are so hard to come by right now and I’m stressing I won’t view one which gives me that feeling that says I belong there.

Totally normal and if the property shows on tv are anything to go by, very common. I’ve loved a house on paper but when I’ve viewed it, it just didn’t sing to me. Maybe the light wasn’t right, or the layout didn’t flow.

Nope you are not on your own. When I was house hunting there was one house in particular where I actually refused to go through the door. I can't tell you what it was, but there was no way I even wanted to see it. It felt like the house physically didn't want me there.
The house I did buy gave me the warm fuzzies, it felt like home as soon as I stepped inside and like it wanted to keep me safe.
I know it's weird, but there is no way I would buy a house that didn't feel right

Totally normal.

I guess it must be normal cos that's what they say a lot on the property programmes too
I do look for the feel about lots of things in life but not a house. I look at a house very practically

Totally normal, when you know, you know.

I’ve bought a flat and a house, then rented a bungalow and bought land to build on. Every single time I knew. Even when the land was just a rectangle on a website!!

You're not alone. The right feel is unquantifiable, but absolutely real.

I guess it depends how you feel about houses. I've always viewed them as projects with potential.

Our first house was £70k 8years ago and we had to do everything to it. Our current house was more expensive but has 4 beds,
and a huge garden. It still needs lots of work to be what we want both inside and out. But we couldn't afford "what we want" outright. We nearly doubled our money on house 1 and would probably do the same here except I think we're in this one long term

Meh. I knew which house I wanted when we bought this house and our last one but it's easy to describe why. Period features, layout, room sizes, location. I suspect this is a personality thing, those that break things up logically into their component factors and those that can't and describe things as feelings.

those that break things up logically into their component factors and those that can't and describe things as feelings.
Not really. Sometimes even broken down it defies all logic

I tend to put the practicality into deciding which houses to view in the first place though we went off one - great location, great layout, ticked all the boxes in the listing - when we saw the massive staircase down to the garden. Someone did buy it - and sold it a year later. The next people stayed less than 2 years before putting it on the market. Glad we listened to our head on that one, though that was helped by viewing the house we bought, immediately after.

We viewed another couple of houses that were also ideal on paper. One had a hideous hothouse conservatory and needed a lot of work to make the kitchen work for us, and install a downstairs loo. Location was OK, upstairs was scruffy but perfect. Head and heart worked together, though as I realised we could spend a lot on it but never really love it.

Another one was great on paper, despite a little less outdoor space than we would want. Yes, it could have worked for us but the windows were so small that it was just plain dark and gloomy, inside, despite it being a lovely bright evening. I was worried that dh preferred it because it was at the cheaper end of the houses we had viewed but I found the thought of living there quite depressing.

That's what my DH was like when we were house hunting, it drove me bonkers. We viewed so many houses and he would veto perfectly good ones because he just didn't like them/they didn't feel right but couldn't say why. We didn't exactly have a big budget and needed to be in a very specific area so couldn't afford to be that fussy. Took forever to find somewhere we both agreed on.
Personally, I either like a house, or I don't, but it's for logical reasons. Decor can be changed easily and cheaply whereas boilers are expensive, so wanting neutral decor but willing to overlook an old boiler doesn't make sense to me.

I get it OP! I kept looking at my current house on Rightmove for months on end when it was way out of my price range and just kept thinking that it looked like 'my house'. It went off the market and came back on vastly reduced and suddenly affordable. We've been here nearly 4 years and it's felt like home since day 1!

I'm a very logical person but for me a house has to give me a good feeling as well as ticking the boxes.

Had that with my flat and had that the house I just bought.

I tried really hard to get the feel for far more practical houses that needed far less work but once I saw the impractical wreck I'm now in that was it - got the feels! My Head says I'm a fool but it has felt like home since day one!

I bought a house without getting the feeling due to lack of options and dh’s pushing. It was a mistake, it’s never felt right. Got to have ‘the feeling’.

For me, it is definitely a 'feel' and not unrecognized logic.

The house I have now, I arranged to view after seeing a tiny private sale ad in the local paper that just said '2 bed cottage, X village, price'.

When I pulled up outside, I realised it was a house I had already dismissed at the estate agents months earlier because it only had one reception room and I was moving to gsin an extra room (literally the main reasin for moving). But I was there so I knocked on the door.

I got 'the feel' the second I stepped over the threshold and spent the tour trying to argue why none of the non-negotiable criteria I had for my new home (apart from location) were not really that important after all!

I bought it, and have never regretted it. As a PP said, it welcomed me in.

We’ve just had an offer accepted on a house and I’ve got all the feels for it. It needs loads of work doing to it but felt like home.

If it doesn’t feel right, how could you live happily there?

For those saying it is all about the logical thinking, I think the 'short list' comes from the logical thinking. You don't go and look at houses that won't work for you. 'The feeling' is about choosing from the shortlist.

I’m the exact same, OP.

It sounds weird but I’ll be flicking through on online listing and will realise that I can picture my Christmas tree in the house, and then I just know.

I’ve fallen into the trap of having expectations that are higher than my budget so I’m scared I’ll never get the feels

@PaleGreenAndBrightOrange

I’ve fallen into the trap of having expectations that are higher than my budget so I’m scared I’ll never get the feels

Nah the feels don't care about expectations. You can ge the feels for houses that don't match any of your criteria or wish list!

OP - we had the feels for both houses we've ended up buying. Looked round lots of others that met criteria and just didn't fall for them. Stepped through the door of our first house and now our second and known before we've even gone upstairs or finished the house tour.
Keep going!

Definitely not weird. The house we’ve had an offer accepted on we only went to see for a bit of a laugh, it looked so wrong online even though it did tick a lot of boxes. But I think we both new the moment we walked through the door that we could just see us living there, in a way we couldn’t with other houses we looked at.

Impossible to explain to other people now who just see a really random house on Rightmove that doesn’t seem to make sense at all from the photos!

See, I don’t think what you’re describing is ‘the feeling’ at all, OP — liking a potential house to look clean and cared for and to be neutrally decorated etc are purely surface things. You could easily clean it, take care of it and decorate it neutrally yourself, after all. The ‘feeling’ is much more irrational.

The house we bought last year was featured in a local paper’s property supplement, photographed very flatteringly, and I dismissed it as ugly. When we actually viewed it, it was evident that the photos were old, that it was grubby and neglected, and had been operating for years as a party house courtesy of the adult sons of the vendor, and the decor was a gruesome mismatch of ‘gap year souvenirs’ and leftover 80s kitchen. And it was going to need 200000 to 300000 spent on it.

It still felt right. It has lovely bones. Even as it is — and we’ve done nothing internally yet — I sigh with pleasure each time I walk into the living room, which has grubby bare floorboards (after we ripped up the disgusting carpet) and revolting mushroom-coloured paint, but beautiful height and light.

Echoing previous posters:

• the feel is real! But I do think of you can look past decor etc it helps! For me the feel comes from layout, room sizes, light etc,& I can imagine my own taste overlaid on a house
• my parents bought a house that my mum loved but dad didn’t. If you can find one that you both like all the better