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Original poster

Getting the ‘feel’ about the right house - am I the only one who gets this?

63 replies

Finallybroody · 26/06/2021 19:21

I’m in the process of house hunting. We’ve only viewed 3 houses, all within our price range but none of them did I get the right ‘feel’ about, although DP liked 2 out of the 3.

I can’t quite explain what I mean about the ‘feel’. I’ve had it twice before when finding previous houses, and pounced on those.

I like it to feel clean and cared for, with neutral decor and lots of natural light.

DP is getting frustrated with me because I can’t articulate what I don’t like about the houses exactly. I am willing to overlook old boilers, tired bathrooms/kitchens… but it has to feel right.

Am I alone in this? Properties in our budget are so hard to come by right now and I’m stressing I won’t view one which gives me that feeling that says I belong there.

OP posts:
Original poster
Finallybroody · 27/06/2021 10:41

Yeah I can look past decor to be honest, as it’s easily and cheaply changed. When I got my current house it had a bright red bedroom Shock I think if the house itself feels airy and light, it gives me the feels. I have to feel relaxed.

OP posts:
Popcornbetty · 27/06/2021 10:47

Completely agree with you op; a house has to feel right. I've viewed perfectly nice houses that just haven't felt right and no logical reason for that! The house i live in just felt like the one despite not being perfect i knew i could comfortably live in it! I always have a can i do Christmas in this house rule too and envision where tree etc would go and the feel; dh thinks i'm bonkers but it works!

Verbena87 · 27/06/2021 10:53

Definitely has to feel like the house wants you there/as if people have been happy in it. Which is nothing to do with decor but might be layout and light.

Ours is an ugly doer upper at the moment but will be lovely in the end and like a pp said, it has lovely bones.

KateF · 27/06/2021 10:59

I know exactly what you mean. When I viewed my house it was in a dreadful state having belonged to a very elderly man who basically lived in one room. There was no kitchen, the garden was a jungle but I knew straight away that it was 'my' house. I've been here 18 years and still working on it but it's definitely the right house for me.

Branleuse · 27/06/2021 11:10

I get it, but also if you have a budget, you have to sometimes compromise on good enough, and then work your way up to your forever home thats got the special feeling.
The other side of that is that some houses just feel wrong, and its more important to not move somewhere you dont like at all, than move somewhere that gives you butterflies.

Themostwonderfultimeoftheyear · 27/06/2021 11:15

We are in the process of buying a house which needs kitchen and bathroom replacing after I said that the one thing I really wanted was nicely done kitchen and bathroom. It also only had 1 loo and three bedrooms when ideally we would have 2 loos and 4 bedrooms. However it gave us the feel and we fell in love.

readytosell · 27/06/2021 13:48

I get it completely.

I have offered accepted on a place, got a good feel for the area and then the house itself too. Unfortunately sellers are struggling to buy onwards like many others so I'm looking at other options.

Went to see one place the other day and just... can't even explain it. Nothing wrong with it, been done up nicely, nice enough area. But I just couldn't shake off that feeling I didn't like it. Shame as it was chain free and well priced for the property.

listsandbudgets · 27/06/2021 18:41

You're not alone. I've mentally rejected houses before I've even left the entrance hall just because they felt wrong. Its not even about them being clean and well cared for, in face our last house needed 4 months work before we could move in.

Its nothing tangible but it's important to me DP has learnt that just because a house may tick all his practical boxes.. if it does not tick my "feeling" box he can forget it.Grin

CatkinToadflax · 27/06/2021 19:11

Totally agree. The house we’re in now was the 26th we’d looked at and we were starting to doubt that we’d find our perfect house remotely within our budget. Nothing else ‘felt’ right, plus they all had tangible issues as well, e.g. not enough parking or a tiny garden. With this house, it was too small but has a big garden and had loads of potential to extend. We knew instantly that it was the right house, and put in an offer after just one viewing, which we never thought we’d do for any house (just as well that we did, as they got 3 offers all on the same day!). We’ve been here 7 years now and did a loft conversion two years ago. The builders start tomorrow on our kitchen diner extension. Once that’s done, it’ll be perfect. Smile

Didicat · 27/06/2021 19:16

Yep, not going to buy a house without the warm welcoming feeling some houses give you. Both house bought have belonged to older people and have needed work, cleaning properly and cluttered and old fashioned.

But if you get the feeling you know somewhere deep inside that this is home to made.....

I too have had houses that have been really love turn key but they gave me the willies for no apparent reason and definitely would not buy even if better priced and less work!

MangoBiscuit · 27/06/2021 19:20

DP and I have already had this discussion, and we're not planning on house hunting for a least a couple of years yet! He has been warned that I will have to like the feel of the place, or I just can't move.

I grew to hate my old house with ExH (although ex certainly influenced that too). It was a good deal when we bought it, but it needed so much work doing, and it felt like a constant battle.

I viewed my current house because it ticked all the practical boxes. I bought it because when I walked in, I felt at home, I felt safe, and I felt like there had been a lot of love here. Daft as that sounds, it really swayed it for me. This house also has a lot of work to do, but it doesn't feel like a battle, and I don't begrudge any of it. We're going to have our work cut out to find one that has a vibe as good as this one.

Justlovedogs · 27/06/2021 19:26

I'm the same, OP. It's not logical, but just a feeling. I've also had the opposite when I walked in the front door and it felt wrong. I didn't even bother looking beyond the front room.
Good luck with your search. I'm sure the right place will turn up. Flowers

DaphneduM · 27/06/2021 21:14

I think you know the moment you set foot in the hall, I had the right feeling for both our houses over the last twenty five years. One 17th century cottage and the other only twenty years old but both felt 'right'.

Subbaxeo · 28/06/2021 07:30

We’ve just bought a house which was smaller than what we wanted, had other compromises compared to others but we loved it because it ‘felt right’. You’re not alone!

TooTiredForToday · 28/06/2021 07:35

DH and I are the same. You have to be able to picture yourself there and it has to feel like it could be home.

A house can be a bit of a wildcard in terms of the checklist but have the right feel, or it can seem right on paper but just not feel like home.

DH did buy a flat once that I didn't like and didn't get the feel about. In the end it was fine and we were happy enough there but it never gave me the feels.

I understand OP - there is nothing coming onto the market that is suitable for us at all and our next baby is on the way. It is frustrating.

Roselilly36 · 28/06/2021 07:36

I absolutely agree, totally has to feel right for me, DH is a lot less fussy, while I am quite uncompromising when it comes to where I want to live, I have got to love it. We moved in Feb and both knew the property we brought was the one! We are really happy here.

EversoDelighted · 28/06/2021 07:44

We're only on our second but I've had the feel both times. I knew as soon as I drove past and saw the For Sale sign on this one that it was the one for me despite it being neglected, a bit too close to the main road, having hideous decor etc. Very happy here many years later, I still get a feeling of contentment when I turn into the street and see it.

OTOH we put in an offer on one a few years ago which ticked just about every practical and location box going. But it was completely characterless and I was very grateful the offer was turned down.

MarmaladeTeepee · 28/06/2021 07:50

@OffRampHilton

I’m the exact same, OP.

It sounds weird but I’ll be flicking through on online listing and will realise that I can picture my Christmas tree in the house, and then I just know.

Imagining the Christmas tree was what swung it for me on the house we've recently bought. Needs quite a bit doing to it to get it to where we want it (but mainly cosmetic and only a couple of small building jobs) but I knew as soon as the advert appeared on rightmove. I think it felt like a heart move but actually as other have said it was rooted in a lot of practicality - we'd already seen 2 houses in the area which we really liked but both had issues with parking, so we knew we wanted to be in that area. It ticked most of the boxes (and the ones it didn't, we could carry out minor building work to achieve - taking some of the garage to create a utility room, knocking down an internal wall to create a kitchen/diner/living space etc). But it was that gorgeous bay window at the front which really did it for me!
BeautifulandWilfulandDead · 28/06/2021 07:51

It has nothing to do with decor or cleanliness. I've bought a filthy house that needed ripping back to brick, an immaculate one that needed nothing doing to it, and one on between. They have all given me 'the feeling' the second I walked in the door.

StillCalmX · 28/06/2021 08:00

I didnt have the luxury of the feel as i had to buy the cheapest 3 bed. But i still know what you mean.
Some things you would overliok in one house but not in another.
I wouldnt rule out a housr somebody died in but all of the living space has to be on one floor for me. Making a cup of tea to take upstairs to the sitting room would be a no from me!

StillCalmX · 28/06/2021 08:02

Although i can assure you i had no feeling when i bought my house but now it feels like home. I just need money to do a few things but it is home 🏠

Juststopasking · 28/06/2021 08:03

Depends how fussy you can afford to be and whether you've got time to wait for a house to sing to you.

BarkingUpTheWrongRoseBush · 28/06/2021 08:20

My DH is head over heart in house viewing. Location, how much work needs done, room size - what can and can't be changed and how much it would cost.

Me...I just wanted a garden.

We looked at a lot of houses with lovely garden and they all got vetoed.

This one we both walked in and said yes immediately. That it just felt like home. It was unfurnished, v badly decorated and needed a lot of work to make it work for us.

In hindsight...should we have bought a different house that didn't quite give us the same feeling - probably yes. But it's ours now and still feels like home!

Bonedry · 28/06/2021 08:28

@Juststopasking

Depends how fussy you can afford to be and whether you've got time to wait for a house to sing to you.
Well, yes, but that’s why some of us mention buying filthy, battered fixer-uppers and being prepared to work on them slowly, as we can afford to, for years. The idea of buying something in turnkey condition is alien to me, as I’m used to having to look past surface horrors and solve significant issues, because otherwise I couldn’t afford it.
Bells3032 · 28/06/2021 08:33

Totally get this. When we were looking we'd looked at 10-15 houses. it was Dh's first purchase and he was neutral about everything and saw the "potential" in it. he couldn't understand why i got so upset and stressed when he suggested we put in an offer. it just didn't feel right to me.

Then we walked into this house. he turned to me and said "ok i get what you mean now" it just felt right and we both felt it.