Builder has gone AWOL

[PurplePansy05]

Hi All. A bit of an odd situation.

Our builder was due to start renovating our recently purchased house this afternoon. We've been in regular contact for months, he's been in the property several times, we have all the designs, quotes and timescales agreed in writing.

For completeness, we know him well because he's completed renovation of our previous house which was excellent. We are on friendly terms with him and know he's an honest man.

We are currently living and wfh squished in two rooms because we've stripped the rest of the house bare as agreed, ready for him to start this afternoon. I am also 22 weeks pregnant, due in August.

We last had contact with him on Good Friday and all was well.

Since then, we rang, emailed and texted and absolute silence. This is completely not like him, he is normally very responsive and on busy days would revert at say 7am or 10pm when he isn't working. This has never been an issue.

We know he has had some health problems and was due to attend hospital appointments, but at no point was there any talk about him not doing the work.

I am now getting seriously concerned, I am worried about him and also worried about our renovation, I don't understand what is going on and as you can imagine, we need to get this done before DS arrives. The house is old and has not been renovated for 40 years so there is a lot to do.

Any thoughts, please? I can't believe I am even writing this and having to ask for advice. xx

Not to harp on about DIY but with some of their kitchens I thought you could choose any F&B colour pretty much? Obviously not if you're going for a gloss one though!

Re game face - I always feel a bit more able to face a tricky day with some slap on in any case. It's a mind over matter thing.

Also - could you look into getting some of your furniture into deep storage to release space in those crammed rooms? We did this and really it was cheap as chips. Don't go for one of those big yellow places - they charge a fortune because you pay a premium for needing easy access and having your own padlock etc. We found a place out of town where we had to give a weeks notice of accessing our stuff, could only access it once a month or pay an extra fee (which wasn't actually that much) and it was v v v reasonable. This was Essex so no use for you but I bet there will be an equivalent in S Wales.

Thanks @DoubleTweenQueen, we will check this out and also ask those chaps coming in today if they can do it the kitchen the same price. It's fully designed and itemised already.

I am not sure what to say to these people tbh. We have a fixed budget based on previous quotes. Do I tell them that, wait for their quotes or what do I do now? Like I said, it won't stretch and things have already been cut out. Really don't know how to play this and fear they'll give us much higher quotes cause they don't even know us.

I don't even want to think what my OG builder is going through, several health problems came to a head at once and on top of these they're testing him now. He had stuff removed from his colon as part of emergency surgery this week and it was benign, but they discovered something else which they are now testing. All delayed due to lockdowns, he hasn't been looker after properly. So I don't even want to ring or bother him with anything now, honestly it's bad. He sort of said that maybe in a month he will be better, but of course we have to be realistic here. From what he was saying it will be at least a month in hospital, then recovery, then he will need physio for another issue he now has. And that's assuming that his tests even come back ok, I dread to think. He doesn't want to leave us in the shit but realistically he won't be able to do it now or any time soon and we can't live in these conditions with a young baby.

@PurplePansy05

How do people renovate on mat leave though? Surely babies can't sleep through it and they shouldn't be breathing in all the dust etc?

You could get some thick plastic sheet to tape over your "good" rooms to keep the dust out, have shoes outside the room so you don't walk any muck in. Also the baby will get used to the noise.

It's awful but not insurmountable. Do you know exactly what needs doing?

Oh OP I really feel for you.

Out of interest what colour kitchen did you want? Is it essential it’s that colour? It’s worth looking around for some
Local companies who might be able to help. I’m over the river on the Bristol side and we’ve been doing work
On our house since I was pregnant was DS2 (he’s now 2.5) and have been surprised how many great people you can find! I emergency called an electrician in desperation at 38 weeks pregnant with dd (she’s now 17 months) because our smoke alarm battery was gone and it was so high up I couldn’t get to it change it. He came straight out as I was pregnant despite being in a job and since then has fitted our dishwasher & tumble dryer, completed renovated our bathroom (it’s gorgeous), is going to install my beautiful new lights and replacement ceiling roses and will eventually do the kitchen (when I’ve saved back up) it’s amazing who you can find! I know it seems very gloomy now but it’s worth having a look around. You might find someone who can help you and still get things within your budget

As a lay person, I do know what needs doing, yes, we also have itemised quotes from the OG builder which sound far more pro that I could ever explain, but it seemed when he talked it through in plain English with me before that we were on the same wavelenght so I can only hope they include everything.

It is navy. DIY do navy but it's different to what we need, it would have to be resprayed which will end up costing the same as Howdens does in the right shade.

I know this sounds like a first world problem in a grand scheme of things, but it's not a cheap thing to buy and we want to get this right.

I didn't have a kitchen until my bottle fed eldest was 6 months old.

We had a stainless steel sink and drainer propped up on posts, an an ancient electric cooler. Everything else was outside covered in plastic sheets.

We had to have the floor damp proofed and floor levelled. We were broke and had to DIY that, the bathroom all of it really.

I think be open and honest and ask if they can do it for the quoted price. Did you have a contingency budget at all?

Can you get onto something like mybuilder.com and put in a request for what you need stating you are only interested in people who can do this NOW. I get a lot of trades using this site and found excellent people I'd definitely use again.

Have you posted the job on my builder? It’s a website where you post what you need doing and then tradespeople contact you with prices and availability, you can read reviews from previous work too.

I would imagine a big job at last minute stepping in for someone else will carry a hefty price tag though, good luck

I have posted on MyBuilder, in fact that's how I found our OG builder too. One acceptance so far, waiting for a chap to call me.

Re contingency budget - there was one, but the costs have gone up by so much because of the increased costs of materials primarily (mix of pandemic, Brexit and crazy amount of DIYers) that was was initially our contingency budget had to become the main budget, after reducing scope of work anyway.

Op do you know what is wrong with him?

If the biopsy is clear - does that mean he will be available?

I suppose I’m asking - is it possible that he will be ok and able to do the job? Whilst on immediately, at some point soon?

@PurplePansy05

How do people renovate on mat leave though? Surely babies can't sleep through it and they shouldn't be breathing in all the dust etc?

We started our extension last feb when my LO was 4 months old. It took until November and we lived without a kitchen for 3 months of that. Honestly it was fine with the baby, he slept through all the noise with the help of some white noise and loved seeing all the builders at a time when socialising was otherwise limited.

I just wanted to say good luck OP, and also to say how many lovely supportive responses you have had here.

You will get there.

We had a big renovation done when I was 36 weeks pregnant. And we've been living in two rooms for about the last 5 years due to the general renovation taking so long. I know it is stressful - although actually when you accept the situation for what it is, I didn't stress so much.

Finger crossed that today's contractor is decent but if not, you've still got time.

I would also say, renovating on maternity leave is a lot easier than when you're back at work. We've just finished our last round of renovating and with covid and not being able to go anywhere, renovating around a 2 year old and two full time jobs has been hard.

I have had many lovely responses, thank you all

I know I probably sound like I'm catastrophising, I just never expected to be in this position and am shocked. I usually have everything planned well in advance when it comes to big things like that and rely on trusted people. You just don't think you will be that unlucky I suppose, it's not something anyone could predict.

Re our builder, there's a multitude of things that are wrong not only with his colon, but also kidneys, he has some sort of an infection on top and also a recurring back problem which has got much worse now as he can't move. Plus on top of that he's had that emergency surgery now and who knows what the biopsy will show. He explained that even if what they found is benign, he will need 2 more surgeries, but no one knows the timeframe. So I suppose the answer is that if all goes well he will be able to do it at some point, but whether we are talking 3 months, a year or 3 years, no one knows. The alternative is he may be on chemo soon.

I am really in two minds whether to tell these other chaps coming in today whst our budget is. I have no benchmark, if yhe hear it and say mate, forget about it, we'd charge 20k more and won't even bother working for you then we're screwed. At least I need the bedrooms done to live in, I can't risk frightening anyone interested off now 😔

@kirinm

We had a big renovation done when I was 36 weeks pregnant. And we've been living in two rooms for about the last 5 years due to the general renovation taking so long. I know it is stressful - although actually when you accept the situation for what it is, I didn't stress so much.

Finger crossed that today's contractor is decent but if not, you've still got time.

5 years of your life living in 2 rooms whilst renovations going on

Why do those to yourself and family? Genuine question. Why buy or embark on a renovation project that is going to put you in such an uncomfortable position for years and years?

@PurplePansy05

I have had many lovely responses, thank you all

I know I probably sound like I'm catastrophising, I just never expected to be in this position and am shocked. I usually have everything planned well in advance when it comes to big things like that and rely on trusted people. You just don't think you will be that unlucky I suppose, it's not something anyone could predict.

Re our builder, there's a multitude of things that are wrong not only with his colon, but also kidneys, he has some sort of an infection on top and also a recurring back problem which has got much worse now as he can't move. Plus on top of that he's had that emergency surgery now and who knows what the biopsy will show. He explained that even if what they found is benign, he will need 2 more surgeries, but no one knows the timeframe. So I suppose the answer is that if all goes well he will be able to do it at some point, but whether we are talking 3 months, a year or 3 years, no one knows. The alternative is he may be on chemo soon.

I am really in two minds whether to tell these other chaps coming in today whst our budget is. I have no benchmark, if yhe hear it and say mate, forget about it, we'd charge 20k more and won't even bother working for you then we're screwed. At least I need the bedrooms done to live in, I can't risk frightening anyone interested off now 😔

Can you ask your old builders professional view of the quotes? Or will be too ill for that?

@Lassy1945 What's uncomfortable to some is bearable to others and they can put up with it to achieve something that otherwise perhaps would have been out of reach. I do understand that and don't judge because it's hard for many people, especially with kids, to get on the ladder or higher up. Often a fixer upper is the way to do it.

My own example now shows I might have to sacrifice a lot even though it wasn't supposed to go this way. I am not fooling myself this is going to be easy but I don't think clinging on to how awful it is will help either tbh. It's crap but sometimes life goes this way or leaves you with no other choice.

@Lassy1945 I think he could look at the quotes, yes. We could compare them to a large extent ourselves, his are quite detailed already. (Unless of course we can't reconcile them). This might give us some help, you're right. xx

@PurplePansy05 little healthy babies actually aren’t that much trouble. On my mat leave, I managed to get two to three hours exercise in daily on top of doing all the house stuff. It’s when they started to become mobile that you will need to keep an eye on them all the time.
Maybe I am only saying this since I have had two, the first time around I was less relaxed but they can be quite content and give you time to get on with things in the first 6 months of their lives. A lot of day time naps.
My brother in law just did a renovation with no main builder and got all trades in. He is definitely not a Diy person and a FTB with no experience. If there is no structural work, I think you will be fine.

We are finishing up a builders shell now, and was surprised how much a trade can do. Our underfloor heating guy also reconnected fireplace and gas hob and adjusted boiler pipes. A pair of joiners are doing the kitchen, the flooring, build in furniture and garden decking.

DIY kitchen has an online planner which will produce a shopping list for you too. My joiner is very impressed with the quality. Particularly the hardware, if you decide to go down that route.
You will be able to do it. Loads have managed.