Want to avoid nastiness

[helenna05]

Hi!
Looking to relocate from north to the south/south east or west.
However I'm really worried that over time the seeming awfulness of London gangs/deprivation and scally behaviour is going to spread out and rot away at the areas around there.
I don't want my baby to grow up around deprivation, gangs and what I see as the nastiest type of human behaviour.
Where can we move in the south that will as much as possible avoid the grossness? I just don't want to be exposed to that kind of stuff, it bleaks me out. I want my son to grow up in a safe place.
Please don't use this message to make a point about me being stuck up or whatever, only genuine advice please.

It will depend on how much money you have to spend. You can always buy yourself into a posh area or gated community.

What price range are you looking at?

Woah!
Are you actually serious? You sound really stuck up to say the very least.

@Onmyleft

It will depend on how much money you have to spend. You can always buy yourself into a posh area or gated community.

What price range are you looking at?

I'm not gated community type wealthy, just normal, house budget 375,000 probably. I don't want to live in London. Just looking for advice about areas, considered Bath/Bristol or maybe Home Counties or Cambridge or Norfolk way. Open minded but worried about the future. Ideally would live Home Counties as family there, but see London stuff creeping out, Luton and Bedford already pretty grim.

@Aswad

Woah! Are you actually serious? You sound really stuck up to say the very least.

It's not stuck up to want my son to live in a safe place. Have you even seen the news this week? How many stabbings have there been in south London? You want your son growing up around that?

If the South is so bad why do you want to relocate there?
Most nice areas will be well out of your budget

You want your son growing up around that?
Why are you moving then?

I do think that you are being a tad melodramatic. There are nice bits in the South and not-so-nice bits in the north. There are all sorts of folks in all areas.

@Hoppinggreen

If the South is so bad why do you want to relocate there? Most nice areas will be well out of your budget

I'm not saying it's so bad, I want to move there! I just want to avoid being stuck somewhere that's on a downward spiral, as many places seem to be. I was born in Luton, and it's so bleak now. I just want to give my son the best chance. Why that's so awful I have no idea.

@senua

You want your son growing up around that? Why are you moving then?

I do think that you are being a tad melodramatic. There are nice bits in the South and not-so-nice bits in the north. There are all sorts of folks in all areas.

To be closer to family. Why do you need to be so defensive? I'm just asking for recommendations of good areas for families.

Where in the north do you live op? I live in a northern city and there are guns/knife crime, gangs and stuff, as there are in all cities. It’s not caused by proximity to london, it’s caused by a lot of different factors. We get people from the south moving up here and making snotty fb group posts about normal low level anti social type stuff and being like ‘oh is this NORMAL for round here’ and it’s not a good look, i have to say. There is good and bad in all areas. My ex from uni was from a very rural place with hardly any gun/knife/drugs/burglary type anti social behaviour, but there was very much a culture of young people driving carelessly on the country roads, and fatal or life changing accidents were very common.

@helenna05 you are being unrealistic in yourself fears. Gangs, stabbings and crimes are not unique to London neither is deprivation. The news focus heavily on London but don’t be fooled. Many travel from outside of London to recruit and grow their territories - across county lines as they say.

As long as there are human beings living in any area, the risk will exist. You’ll need to find an area where there’s only inanimate objects.

Buy in a well-to-do area, raise you son with strong values and pray for the best. Your son may not get into gangs but may go out with nice folks from nice areas and do ‘nice, respectable’ things like cocaine, ecstasy, etc.

@helenna05

Hi! Looking to relocate from north to the south/south east or west. However I'm really worried that over time the seeming awfulness of London gangs/deprivation and scally behaviour is going to spread out and rot away at the areas around there. I don't want my baby to grow up around deprivation, gangs and what I see as the nastiest type of human behaviour. Where can we move in the south that will as much as possible avoid the grossness? I just don't want to be exposed to that kind of stuff, it bleaks me out. I want my son to grow up in a safe place. Please don't use this message to make a point about me being stuck up or whatever, only genuine advice please.

My advice is to be less clumsily transparent when trying to stir up a load of goady shite.

[quote Onmyleft]@helenna05 you are being unrealistic in yourself fears. Gangs, stabbings and crimes are not unique to London neither is deprivation. The news focus heavily on London but don’t be fooled. Many travel from outside of London to recruit and grow their territories - across county lines as they say.

As long as there are human beings living in any area, the risk will exist. You’ll need to find an area where there’s only inanimate objects.

Buy in a well-to-do area, raise you son with strong values and pray for the best. Your son may not get into gangs but may go out with nice folks from nice areas and do ‘nice, respectable’ things like cocaine, ecstasy, etc.[/quote]
I know it's not unique to London.
But where you grow up really does effect your life chances. For example Hull, a tiny percentage of boys growing up there manage to make it to uni and have careers, the unemployment rate and teen pregnant rate is appalling and the city has been on a downward spiral into terrible poverty for years now.
Saying that there are nice areas and bad areas of everywhere so therefore it doesn't matter is deluded. It matters.

I'm not trying to stir up anything!
I'm trying to get recommendations of safe places to look at moving in the south of the country. People choosing to take this personally is totally unnecessary. I'm asking for advice.

My advice is to be less clumsily transparent when trying to stir up a load of goady shite.
Hey Voodoo that's unfair. OP "wants to avoid nastiness". It's everyone else that is the problem. Apparently.

@senua

My advice is to be less clumsily transparent when trying to stir up a load of goady shite. Hey Voodoo that's unfair. OP "wants to avoid nastiness". It's everyone else that is the problem. Apparently.

Why is wanting to avoid bad areas a bad thing?

Well having recently moved from one of the affluent cities you mentioned, you will not get anything decent for your budget. If you want to avoid gangs you're probably best going somewhere more rural in east Anglia, like Norfolk and Suffolk, but they have their own pockets of deprivation, like everywhere in the country!

@Alienchannell21

Well having recently moved from one of the affluent cities you mentioned, you will not get anything decent for your budget. If you want to avoid gangs you're probably best going somewhere more rural in east Anglia, like Norfolk and Suffolk, but they have their own pockets of deprivation, like everywhere in the country!

Sure I understand that. I live in Leeds! I just struggle to get a good read of areas because of Covid and trying to get some advice about good areas for families. So many people taking exception to that is ridiculous.

Norfolk / Suffolk is lovely! I've lived here my whole life and am so happy to be bringing my kids up here. You can get an amazing house for your budget in this area too.

@beckyyl

Norfolk / Suffolk is lovely! I've lived here my whole life and am so happy to be bringing my kids up here. You can get an amazing house for your budget in this area too.

Thank you for this Are there any areas which you would recommend considering? Schools, transport links etc are factors :-)

Assuming yours is a serious question not as nuts as it first appears.... You need to first work out where in the south works for your family, budget and work. Then look at crime rates and local issues. I think your budget isn’t going to get you far in large chunks of ‘the south’

You might want to work on your sweeping generalisations and attitude as you are doing your research.

South coast here, is that too far? Pretty much no violence/ gangs here atm. Seems to still be at a similar level to when I was at school.

Really depends how close you want to be to the city or if you want to be a bit more rural.

Where I live I'm in a town, with plenty of schools and transport links etc. Norwich city is around 40 mins away. The seaside is 15 mins up the road. And if you go 10 minutes the other direction your in the middle of no where surrounded by fields! Our area is very much classed as 'the country side' really.

You can get transport links very easily, trains busses etc.

@Twickerhun

Assuming yours is a serious question not as nuts as it first appears.... You need to first work out where in the south works for your family, budget and work. Then look at crime rates and local issues. I think your budget isn’t going to get you far in large chunks of ‘the south’

You might want to work on your sweeping generalisations and attitude as you are doing your research.

I'm from there, I have a fairly good understanding of it. I'm just asking for recommendations for areas. It's general because it's a wide area we're considering. As for whether what I'm saying is sweeping or judgemental, would you want to live in somewhere like Bradford or Hull? I'm guessing probably not. Because these issues exist and it's good to move somewhere that isn't falling apart.

Well you could try looking up crime rates for the areas you are interested in moving to. However, all areas have crime and even nice areas have issues with drugs and violent offences. There have been many articles recently about drug dealers in rural areas coercing teenagers to work for them. I don't think it's realistic to think you can get away from crime completely because the issues are widespread, they are not confined to the cities.

@Dodododahdahdah

South coast here, is that too far? Pretty much no violence/ gangs here atm. Seems to still be at a similar level to when I was at school.

Thank you! That's the kind of answer I was hoping for. What kind of places would constitute the south coast? Do you mean Brighton sort of way? Unfamiliar with places around there :-)