Things my mother has said to me about my house hunt, a list.

[TheIris]

I feel like I could explode, so I am going to type this on here to prevent me from sending her a grumpy message!

For context, I am a FTB. She bought a house by herself, once, in 1982. She sold it in 1986 when she met my dad. They haven't moved since. I am one of three siblings and the first one to be in a position to buy my own house, so the first one to go through this!

1. I am "stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid" to think that it would be very tight to meet the stamp duty deadline, even if I put in an offer tomorrow. Apparently searches don't take long now at all "because it's all online" and so right now I can "exchange and complete in a month."

I said I had been monitoring the news and market and actually solicitors have a massive backlog right now and they were issuing warnings back in Nov/Dec to say that people might not make the deadline even if they had offers accepted then. "Oh you've read the news so you're an expert? You've never bought a house before, I have!"

2. I won't actually have saved my full deposit until end of April so I can't actually go house hunting just yet. "You don't know that. If you ring the estate agent and tell them about your circumstances it'll be fine. You can put an offer in and by the time it goes through you will have saved the money."

I tried to explain that in order to apply for a mortgage the bank would need to see the full deposit so I can't put an offer in now, but apparently I am wrong. You can offer on a house without having your deposit ready! (I mean, considering she thinks it'll complete in a month then I'm not sure how she thinks I'll have a deposit by that time but oh well.)

3. Estate agents are apparently fine with speculative viewings "just out of interest." Maybe they are in usual times (I don't know?) but surely now, they are only offering viewing to serious buyers who are in a position to move? Right? Funnily enough I am wrong.

4. The only people who use mortgage brokers are those with dodgy employment and poor credit. Apparently all brokers will fleece me. Yes, even the free ones. All I have to do is go to my bank and they will offer me the best deal.

5. I am a fool for looking for a house with extension potential. If I need an extra bedroom in a few years' time then I will just be able to buy a bigger house. Silly me!

6. I gently tried to suggest that things have changed in the 40 years since she bought a house. It did not go down well. Apparently I think I have all the answers.

She then said that she needed to hang up now because I was upsetting her so much. Er, ok? You rang me and the first words out of your mouth were that I was "stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid."

Anyone else have a mother who refuses to accept the world has moved on since 1982?

I wish people would stop peddling the idea that instructing and completing by the end of the SDLT holiday is doable. It really really isn’t.

Fist bump OP! Also a FTB with an over-involved mother who hasn't bought a house since the mid 90s. Mine has spammed me so much with Rightmove links that I've redirected her emails into a special folder that I only look at when I think my blood pressure can take it!
I have told her, only half joking, that I'll share my new address when I've actually moved.

@GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER

Re mortgages, my FTB dd was pressured to use the EA’s in-house mortgage advisor, who found her the ‘best’ deal. She then found exactly the same deal online for a couple of hundred £ less in fees. Told the MA and he straightaway said he’d match it.

The EA in-house ones are notoriously dodgy - the fact that they're in-house means they have no reputation to maintain, so nothing to lose by trying stunts like that. Independent brokers like L&C are very different.

I work for an independent broker- the opinions some people have are quite frightening!

We are whole of market, don't charge a fee and independent- same as L&C but without the advertising budget unfortunately so i would say go for a local recommended broker, ring a couple and talk to them- dont pay a fee!!

With regards your mother? Do. Not. Engage.

1 - There is a huge backlog at conveyancing solicitors - I work for the ministry of housing and my senior colleagues are really very concerned at the flack we're going to get re the numbers of people who are going to miss the deadline.

4 - I used a broker (L&C). They got me a really good deal with Nationwide - it would have taken me weeks to research it. I also got £250 cash back.

@SweatyBetty20

1 - There is a huge backlog at conveyancing solicitors - I work for the ministry of housing and my senior colleagues are really very concerned at the flack we're going to get re the numbers of people who are going to miss the deadline. 4 - I used a broker (L&C). They got me a really good deal with Nationwide - it would have taken me weeks to research it. I also got £250 cash back.

That’s interesting, I’ve been reading that there’s a chance it might be extended, do you think this is a possibility?

I've bought and sold 4 houses in the last 40 years and its definitely got more complicated, some of the questions solicitors ask these days! I've had a good broker that have used for remortgages, they didn't used to charge but now do. Banks can be good, never use the in house broker and be very suspicious of the in house solicitor as well! Hope that the other side has a good solicitor as well, my last purchase the vendors solicitor worked to geological timescales, soooo frustrating!

1 Searches,mortgage offers etc all taking longer than normal due to sheer volume. I doubt any offer excepted now would meet stamp duty deadline.
2 you will not get best mortgage deal just going to your bank as they can only sell you their products a Brooker can look at whole market.
You need proof of full deposit for an Agent to put offer forward or a bank to proceed
A decent agent at the moment will only allow viewings if you are in a position to buy the property
Up to you if what sort of property you buy.
Basically you are right ignore your mum.

@TheIris - at the minute we're hearing not.

Yikes OP, hope you can keep the conversation away from your move. Her attitude reminds me of that saying of how we see in others our own flaws...

When we had an offer accepted in the beginning of December, all the solicitors near me had in bold (ours had in bold and red) not expect to be able to finish before the current stamp duty deadline, that the 'increase in demand' meant they couldn't take on clients expecting to finish before then, and similar warning labels. It depends on location (my council is notoriously slow at this) more than the internet.

All the estate agents near me wanted full details on our 'position' before they'd take any viewing bookings -- we didn't need an AIP, but they asked about deposit and things and our offer was only accepted once we could prove we were in a 'proceedable position' which involved our broker passing on the AIP.

I used a local broker found through VouchedFor - was absolutely brilliant when the house we wanted to put an offer on turned out to be non-standard construction (old Wates PRC, so also previously listed as defective...). He gave us great advice and was able to chase them up on the paperwork we needed to make sure the house was safe and be able move forward with the mortgage application (that we're still in the process of doing, having had the valuation over a month ago). I definitely like having someone else to handle some of these hoops.

FTN are exempt from stamp duty on properties under £500k anyway, aren't they??

1. 100% agree with your mum on brokers. Go direct to the banks/building societies first. Go to a broker when you are refused by a bank/building society

What utter bollocks. Very few banks are leaders in this area of financial services, those that are will often offer via brokers as this saves them having their own costly call centres. Yes some have this - First Direct, HSBC, but depending on what part of the market you are in, they may or may not be suitable for you. Brokers help you access the whole of the market, you can search the rest yourself. Don’t assume this is cheaper as some providers pay brokers instead of employing their own people.

@Pineapplemonkey
Your post re your mother advising you on internet dating was hilarious.

Brokers save you money ... mine saved us £1800 over 2 years versus the best deal I could find online and with my own building society.

Erm I’ll take the £££ thanks

Good luck finding a place OP

I sympathise OP. My parent are sellling my grandma's house

I did warn them it'd take a while. I've bought & sold twice in last 20 years. They last moved in 1984. I told them with Covid it was going to be extra crap, and to get things done you have to make yourself a bit of a nuisance to solicitors. Ring, pester, check, double check.

They sold it in July and it's still not completed. Last week, they realised you have to be onto solicitor/EA constantly.....

I mean, I know nothing 🙄

@Walkacrossthesand Think FTB pay SD on properties over £300k.

@MinnieMountain

I wish people would stop peddling the idea that instructing and completing by the end of the SDLT holiday is doable. It really really isn’t.

Short of a miracle or time machine, no it isn’t.

Someone I know bought in a very slow market. House was a probate sale, they didn’t need a mortgage and were moving from a rental. The process took 12 weeks. It’s nine weeks until the end of March and solicitors are frantic.

Indeed @VinylDetective. I’m lucky that I no longer have my own files but colleagues are completely snowed under.

I'm in the process of buying a place. It's a short chain - ftb is buying our flat and our sellers have no onward chain. We accepted ftb's offer at the beginning of October and had our offer accepted in mid-October.

We are hoping to complete by end of February.

When we bought our flat in 2011 there was no chain at all and the process still took 3 months.

Your mother is wrong - you won't make the stamp duty holiday deadline. And as for PP saying you can do it if you skip the searches - firstly, why would anyone be stupid enough to do that, and secondly that's not what OP'S mother was claiming. She was saying that the searches should only take a week.

EAs are being extra cautious during COVID and certainly don't want speculative viewers. We had to show we were proceedable before we even got a viewing and then the checks ramped up before the EA would pass on our offer.

The EA who we're buying through cross-checked with the EA we're selling through to ensure that we were being honest about the offer we had received on our own flat, etc.

I use a local mortgage broker. Find him v helpful, he has access to deals not available more widely and has been an extra source of advice and assistance during the process.

So yes, you are right and your mother is wrong.

USE A BROKER!!! More specifically, use a whole market broker. You don't need a specialist broker, but a full market broker is worth it. There are banks you're probably not aware of that have favourable rates, and some are only accessible to brokers. There's also some with special terms and conditions you might not have noticed (especially if you chose a new build). It would take you hours, if not days to navigate it all and compare. Banks don't have special rates that are oh so much better than published ones for existing customers, hidden away. All rates are on their websites. Then, if you want to snoop at what your broker sees, there are site for each bank for intermediaries (I much prefer their calculators). Your broker will give you a list of every mortgage and rate they find. You can compare with your own research. You only pay them (if they have a fee) if they secure you a mortgage offer.

Also, I can't 100% get from your OP if you're a FTB or not. If you are you don't need to panic as much about the SDLT holiday as you still have the 300k allowance as a FTB. Though I'd predict a lot of chains will collapse when the holiday ends and the non ftb that are only moving because of SDLT holiday can't afford to.

Ugh, feeling for you OP. Buying your first house is a nail biting experience but also so exciting! Shame that instead of sharing all those emotional experiences with your Mum, who should be proud of her daughter trying to stand on her feet, you're getting lectured and ridiculed I agree with most of your points, so toughen up and soldier on

There's already lots of very good advice from PPs, but for what it's worth here's my two-penneth on some of your points from personal experience:

1. It's a very tight deadline, even in pre-covid times the average time to completion was about three months;
2. It's not usual to proceed without a deposit, if an EA does so it's actually considered bad practice - for example have a look at this thread where buyers lied about having a deposit;
3. There are mixed views about mortgage brokers but I don't think advisers are for naive losers. I agree with PPs who say that banks don't value loyalty anymore and won't necessarily offer you the best deal. As @SecretDoor suggested, have a read on Money Saving Expert, they usually offer sound and educational advice.

My mum wants to relocate near to me. Great right? Except she can't get her head around the idea that she has to at the very least get her house on the market before she can come up here and view properties. Apparently if I just pop down the estate agents and tell them my mum will promise to sell her house very quickly, they'll happily let me sort viewings for her.

@NotQuiteUsual

My mum wants to relocate near to me. Great right? Except she can't get her head around the idea that she has to at the very least get her house on the market before she can come up here and view properties. Apparently if I just pop down the estate agents and tell them my mum will promise to sell her house very quickly, they'll happily let me sort viewings for her.

Can you tell her that you've checked with X, Y and Z agents in your area and they've said otherwise? She doesn't need to know that by "checking with", you mean confirming their policy via their website...

For heaven's sake, when you finally go out looking, don't tell your mother and just DON'T take her out with you to view properties!

Leaving aside the actual issues with the house market at the moment (although FTR, I think you're right), anyone who rings you up to tell you you are "stupid, stupid, stupid" is someone I think you should be very wary of and preferably as emotionally distant from as possible. But that may be another thread, in a different topic area.