Buying a house that is too big

[Hels20]

Wouldn’t mind getting people’s thoughts.

We live in a nice 4 bed terraced house in SW London. We have a small garden. Pre Christmas, we were looking at building a basement which would give us another 800 sq ft - including an office, gym and extra reception room for kids. Our kids are 5 and 9.

We like the area we live in and finally, feel as though we have a community - although our neighbours on one side are a nightmare and horrible (constant verbal abuse directed at our children). I feel as though I am always telling my children to “hush” because I fear the abuse. The basement would create sound proofing and would give our children privacy as they became teens.

I was on Rightmove and came across a house that is almost double the size and has a large garden. It is a mile away from where we live - not such a nice location but ok. It is detached!! However, whilst downstairs and first floor is perfect - we would never use the second floor unless we had guests...and I think as soon as children flew the nest we would rattle around. But our kids could run around without being told to hush.

However - building basement would not require us to extend our mortgage (which is roughly 2x my salary (I earn more than DH). New house would mean doubling our mortgage and it might become a money pit...I am mid 40s...so not sure this is sensible.

Realise this is slightly hypothetical as haven’t even put our house on market and would not to touch up in a couple of places - but what would you do? Anyone else been in this position? (Realise we are very fortunate).

Yep - the only detached house in our area is on at over £6.5m (there is another one on at over £15m). So there aren’t detached houses where we live. Semis where we live are also out of price range. There are a handful of smaller detached houses (ie smaller than the 5,000 sq ft house) in the less desirable area but a fair way from public transport. There really isn’t much choice in this part of SW London. Doubling mortgage in our area may get us about an extra 200 sq ft. Realise this is a first world problem and we are lucky. Real issue is neighbours - and yes - would be 4 to 5 months of excavation work and then 4 to 5 months of fit out noise. But then I think their abuse would reduce because they wouldn’t hear us. I would definitely add some sound proofing to existing property.

Our relations with neighbours are so bad - 5 year old playing knights and running round mid afternoon for 10 mins and being told to shut the fuck up you fucking arsehole - that’s the sort of abuse we get. Bordering on criminal intimidation. (5 year old also has SEN).

Wow, 5000 square feet is enormous. How big is your current house? I've just upsized to a bit under 3000 square feet in Greater London, which feels big to us. I suspect our budget was a lot less than yours though.

The building work will be hell and put a lot of strain on your relationship. Can you withstand this.

Have you phoned the police about the neighbour. We have similar and do every time and it is logged - i know this makes it reportable when you sell but you need to weigh it up against the fact it might stop them swearing at the children and make things a bit better. We've not had an incident in a long while now.

Will you really use the new space- when our dc were yours ages we did an extension which included a playroom/ teen den room. Now they are teens the don't use it. They spend time with us but nothing is as appealing as their own bedroom. It is difficult to plan ahead. Most basements seem to work when they are used to make large kitchens that open on to patios.

I think you have a bit of an unsolvable problem! I guess you are in a very expensive area where basements are the norm. Perhaps go for it then. It seems your DS won’t be able to play outside whatever you do though. You cannot soundproof a Garden. That’s going to be very hard for him growing up.

Do you definitely want/need your area? Moving out of London would get you everything with bells and whistles too I expect!

I’m also in agreement that separate rooms for dc don’t work. When dc had friends over they liked to chat! Not be separate from us. A kitchen and diner with garden access would be better as dc cannot be contained in a basement.

@Rockpooler - did you actually involve the police then?

My solution would be for them to move!! But not sure they will before our kids grow up (it is amazing how they seem to forget how noisy they were when their kids were small...we never said a word).

@PresentingPercy - yep - we have considered moving out of London but kids are both adopted and v worried about how unsettling that would be...but it is a possibility.

Thanks all for your thoughts and words - given me lots to think about.

If detached are 6.5m then you are in real prime territory therefore you can move to a less prime but still extremely desirable area close by where you can get everything you need. Basements are very rarely super successful spaces IME and good for things like cinema rooms, gyms but not really areas to spend prolonged amounts of time. The upheaval will be horrific. The neighbour problem sounds insurmountable to be honest and it will only get worse. They could make your lives a lot worse if you go ahead with a basement, they could try and force all sorts of delays and limitations. Like you they will have deep pockets and may not hold back when trying to cause trouble. If you give us a hint as to where you are we may be able to come up with some other solutions that you haven’t thought of. You will of course get the odd poster who will be of the opinion that because you are well off you can’t have any problems but there are enough of us on here that know SW London well and may be able to suggest an area or approach that you haven’t thought of.

Move.

Anywhere.

Horrendous for your adopted children to hear that abuse.

If you could afford the bigger house, I would go for it. There's nothing to say that you have to have a house that's only got enough rooms for you. My aunty has a 6 bed detached in Liverpool (probably worth a fraction of what you're looking at paying in London haha) and she's been on her own for decades now - but won't move, as she says she loves the house and it's her home. So why should she!

You could use the other rooms for something, maybe a cinema room, gym, gaming room for the kids? Plus they'll be able to come and visit with their own children when they're grown up!

If I liked a house, and the location, and could afford it, I would happily live in a 'too big' house, as I love having different spaces to do different things. There's only me, DP and DSS in this house at the moment, and it gets to me that the only place I can 'be' is the living room.

I fear your neighbours would be even worse if you put them through a basement excavation.

I’ve read too many articles about houses falling down mid basement works too 😱 not the point of the thread

Move!!
I feel as though everyone is saying that's the best option here. But you keep coming back to doing the basement.
I can't understand it! It seems a no brainer. The neighbours sound awful, and they would object and be 20 times as bad having to go through the building works. They shout and swear at your 5 year old with SEN. Surely it's a no brainer! More space for your kids only a mile away, and you can afford it.
Move!

Ha as they get older they take up more room with all their friends. Not less. Which will be more valuable when done? Go for that one. You can always downsize abd release the cash in the future.

The basement is cheaper and feel a bit nervous about taking on more debt at my age. If I could move and get an extra 700 to 1000
Sq Ft for the same cost as doing a basement I would but stamp duty and EA fees and fact area has very few bigger houses which would be within price range would mean we would be taking on huge debt. Then - the bigger house I would worry would be a money pit! And we would have to move as would be rattling around (but a PP mentioned that actually with a SEN kid) they may well be living with us for a long time...which I hadn’t factored in.

Thanks everyone.

Definitely move. Your neighbour situation is untenable and the basement is risky is so many ways.

I like PP's idea of keeping the flat(s) in the big house and renting them out to help cover the mortgage.

Plus DC could live in them when they're older if they're so inclined.

Your neighbour problem isn't going to get any better even if you did the basement

And speaking of someone who lives in a terrace and had a new neighbour gut their house out and renovate it for 4 months and still going the noise is horrendous 😑 travels right through and I'm 3 doors down! Its made working from home hell! No escape

Really think people need to consider this somewhat some people aren't allowed back into offices and forced to work from home and then have to live through noise day in day out and thank to lockdown csnf even go work in a coffee shop

I wouldnt do a basement its going to cost far more than you realise. Move to another area you can afford.

When I bought in my area it was an okay one but now more desirable because as peolle cannot afford zone 1 2 or 3, zone 4 now is and its been raising prices up every year

The moment I can afford a detached house I'm moving, my neighbours creak so loud they wake me up when he gets up, I can hear him coughing, scrappingnhis dinner plates and god I cannot wait to never hear that again

Without a doubt I would move as with those neighbours you're never going to be relaxed and happy. When you move you have to note if you've had disputes with the neighbours and it's likely a basement extension would make matters worse.

We converted a cellar to full ceiling height basement years ago. It was horrendously disruptive and awful for our neighbours. The sandblasting somehow got into next door and the mess was unbelievable - like a bomb had gone off. I would never contemplate doing it again.

I really want to see the big house!

We are in the midst of making our home significantly bigger. I get what you mean about rattling around when the kids leave but I'm hoping we will be the central place for all my kids and their families and host all of them over weekends and holidays for family meals...

1m is quite a difference in London & you said it wasn't a great area.

I grew up in a 6000sq ft house in London & it never felt too big, big yes but not so much. My parents are downsizing soon (late 60s) as it's too big for them & the maintenance is getting them down.

I hate to live through a basement or a neighbours one.

How big is the current house? will a basement really make a lot of difference? Personally i've found I much prefer wider houses rather than the taller, 4 stories types.

If you have a 3million budget you really have a lot of choices, why live near horrible neighbours.

I would definitely move. If the house became too big later, you could move again and you would make a decent amount downsizing in an expensive area.