Buying a house that is too big

[Hels20]

Wouldn’t mind getting people’s thoughts.

We live in a nice 4 bed terraced house in SW London. We have a small garden. Pre Christmas, we were looking at building a basement which would give us another 800 sq ft - including an office, gym and extra reception room for kids. Our kids are 5 and 9.

We like the area we live in and finally, feel as though we have a community - although our neighbours on one side are a nightmare and horrible (constant verbal abuse directed at our children). I feel as though I am always telling my children to “hush” because I fear the abuse. The basement would create sound proofing and would give our children privacy as they became teens.

I was on Rightmove and came across a house that is almost double the size and has a large garden. It is a mile away from where we live - not such a nice location but ok. It is detached!! However, whilst downstairs and first floor is perfect - we would never use the second floor unless we had guests...and I think as soon as children flew the nest we would rattle around. But our kids could run around without being told to hush.

However - building basement would not require us to extend our mortgage (which is roughly 2x my salary (I earn more than DH). New house would mean doubling our mortgage and it might become a money pit...I am mid 40s...so not sure this is sensible.

Realise this is slightly hypothetical as haven’t even put our house on market and would not to touch up in a couple of places - but what would you do? Anyone else been in this position? (Realise we are very fortunate).

I don't believe there's such a thing as a house that's too big if you have kids.

We extended our house when our dcs were around the same age as yours. House seemed massive ... for a while. You could probably do with an extra room just to house all the equipment teens seem to have - sports kits, musical instruments etc.

And as for leaving home ..... if you live in London you may well find they move back after uni. Two of mine did. And it's great to have plenty space for family gatherings. And then, as others have said, there are grandchildren!

Very similar position here (including neighbour) except we want to stay in this area so by going detached we would lose space...

I wouldn’t hesitate for a moment in putting the house on the market if I was you! The new house sounds like a dream. My kids are 18 and 14, and DD14 would kill for a 3 storey house where she had lots of room, she’d happily have a whole floor to herself! We’re currently considering an extension.

You have plenty of years to enjoy the bigger house. Then later on, you’ll have plenty of space for your kids to come back and stay with hopefully their own families.

Plus you’d get away from your horrible neighbours. And a top floor is nicer than a basement.

I live in 'too big' a house through change of circumstances. Yes there is more expense on maintenance, council tax etc and I am rattling around a bit with my dog. However I look at the mortgage payments as an investment in a way...if I was in smaller house with a smaller mortgage I guess I'd have extra cash that I could save, but realistically I don't see any good, reliable returns on savings or investments at the moment. There's nowhere good to put it at the moment. So that cash might as well go on a house that will hopefully improve its value in the long term and give me options if I want to downsize in the future.

Can you afford the mortgage? Without it affecting your lifestyle? If so I'd move.
It'll be years before the kids move, you could consider adopting the house as they get older or renting rooms out if you could get a seperate entrance or you could downside in 20 years to the country

Thanks all - the house is 5,000 sq ft - would need some work and looks like a couple of parts of it have been made into flats - I don’t think it would be too difficult to put back into house.

The house is one stop further on the tube line. Kids would remain at schools. Slightly nervous about doubling size of mortgage at our ages but I think interest rates will remain low.

Ps - even if we spent an extra million (yes - I know...) we wouldn’t get anything extra in our area (maybe a slightly bigger garden, maybe a slightly quieter street). But if we spent an extra £1m on this house - there is a massive difference...

Before you convert back, if you don't need the space maybe leave them and air b and b then if you're somewhere useful perhaps? He'll with the mortgage

Nothing could convince me to put in a basement floor ,after reading about the case where the house collapsed in London

I don't think your neighbour can object to the basement? Our neighbours did one and it was horrific but we couldn't do anything about it as all the other ones on the street had been approved..
Adding a basement would add value to your home... to be honest I would stay in the area and do the basement. We live in SW too and everyone is doing basements. When we get the extra cash we are going for it.

Bad neighbours would definitely want to make me move. Did you see the house which collapsed in London when they tried to extend the basement? That would put me off having that sort of work done but I hate basements anyway. You can't beat having a detached house with a decent private garden..

5000sqft is absolutely enormous and from what you say it will need some work especially if some of it is currently flats for example. Do not underestimate the costs of doing work on a really big place. Everything costs a lot more and it really adds up. We did I something similar and ended up downsizing because the running and maintenance costs just really seemed like throwing money away in the end!

So, you were planning on a basement. Seeing that house on Rightmove got you thinking of alternatives. That house doesn't tick all the boxes.

I would start looking to move to a bigger house, just not that one. Look for one closer.

Personally I would not be planning a basement if I had a nightmare neighbour - major building works are stressful enough without that. I'd be sitting down and working out what I wanted now, 5 years from now, 10, 15 etc. and getting a spec of My Ideal House straight in my head; then go looking for it.

"I feel as though I am always telling my children to “hush” because I fear the abuse. The basement would create sound proofing and would give our children privacy as they became teens."
Stop telling them to hush. And when the abuse comes, tell them to bugger off. Pandering to this type just encourages them to push further. Push back.

hmm, so many considererations, I speak as an 'older person' here, dh and I downsized 3 years ago after living in a 'too big' house - It was lovely to have the space we had, including the garden etc but my god the mortgage was huge, it affected our lifestyle for many years, our expenditure on anything was always considered against our monthly outgoings on mortgage/insurance what have you - we were very lucky, still had a modest holiday every year (gite/self-catering)

looking back though, I do wonder if having such a large house was the best thing we could have done, the sheer relief of having a home we owe nothing on is so very liberating, I'm guessing OP that whatever you decide you have a few years of mortgage ahead of you, however you decide though, my advice is to not tie up all your money to the detriment of having and enjoying 'experiences' with your young children, be it the freedom to have dinner out together, short breaks, more travel etc. I hope that doesnt sound to woolly.

Usual I would say it depends on the area but in this case I think I'd be desperate to get away from the neighbors

I think there needs to be a rethink of basements in terraced properties. So many cause difficulties for their neighbours for negligible improvement and indeed often cause structural issues to the entire block.

If your relationship is strained already with your neighbours, it will be much worse when you start digging out the basement.

If you need or want extra space, then yes you'd be better off moving.

If you can afford it, I'd move to the detached house. Perhaps even leave the flat or 2 flats intact on the top floor and rent them out for a few years to pay towards the mortgage?

@boysonthesofa

We used to live sw London and every street was being dug up. Neighbours did it and they've had YEARS of issues - water leaks, flooding, electrics... subsidence problems. I think you open yourself up to expensive problems. Easier to move.

Indeed.. Bro lives in Richmond and every other house is being dug up for underground swimming pool and cinema.

Noise and vibration was horrendous.

Kid noise really travels through walls.. the high pitched noise and stamping about that kids do.
But old, deaf people with booming TV and yappy dogs is hell too.
Detached is bliss.

Op you are very good to ask your DC to shush..
Many parents don’t.

Houses where you are sell for a fair bit.. I had a bro who lived in Putney.. and you could buy a detached outside the area without increasing mortgage?

Re basements and terraces..
A house collapsed in Chelsea recently, taking neighbours with it. Images online.

Houses were not designed for such serious excavation.

I feel you are presenting a binary situation here. Either stay and improve or double your mortgage .....it doesn’t have to be like this. There are other houses...ones that might not require you to double your mortgage but might give you a bit more space.
I’d certainly move though. The basement option will be very noisy to develop and I think your neighbours abuse will only worsen, so I’d definitely up sticks and try elsewhere.

Interesting all comments on basements...I would feel hugely guilty for doing it but we wouldn’t have to increase mortgage to do it - and we would be that much closer to paying off mortgage. I would also get an interior designer in to help make it look really special (I don’t trust my own style) which I couldn’t afford in big house.

For those that have lived through basement being built by their neighbour - or had one built themselves - was it just awful? I understand it would be 4 months of digging and the drill would only be intermittent when they broke through concrete...

I'd be off to the bigger house! about 10 years ago we were in your situation. Had a 3 bed semi, moved to a 6 bed detached with an acre. Stretched our budget, moved rurally (cheaper).
Its been amazing - both Dc have their own bedroom, a games room to share and we both have our own offices to work from home. You wont rattle around, I'm sure of it!

@BaronessBomburst

I'd go for the detached house with the bigger garden. Space and privacy are everything.

Completely agree.

I think worrying about the house being too big when the DC have moved out is thinking too far ahead seeing as your youngest is only 5. The larger house sounds ideal in terms of space.

I wouldn’t do either of your options, I would put house on the market and look at other alternatives. Your neighbours sound like a nightmare but the other house sounds like too much of a financial stretch. Look at other options, don’t stay living next to people who are abusive to your children.