Would you buy a house where someone had recently died?

[NotSureICan]

Bit of a trigger warning - suicide.

Title slightly misleading, of course lots of people have died in houses especially old ones. But how would you feel about a very recent death?

We've had our offer accepted on a house which ticks all the boxes. We like the house and it has a nice feel. We've also got a buyer for ours and now trying to take advantage of the stamp duty holiday if we can, so wanting to move quickly! However after some googling today, I've discovered that unfortunately the previous occupant committed suicide in the house a few months ago. I don't have any further details (other than cause of death but I won't mention here), so not sure where in the house it happened or if it was in one of the 2 outbuildings. I also believe the person lived alone, so without being too grisly, I'm not sure how long they were there for before discovery

I phoned the agent to check what has happened and they have outright lied to me. Said the house was owned by an elderly gentleman who has since died in care. When we first viewed the house, the agent said the sale was due to a death and I asked if this was in the house and they said they didn't know. Agent today says definitely not. I'm wondering if perhaps the vendor hasn't been honest with them. It looks as though the owners relative was living there after the owner went into care.

I'm not sure what to do now. Am I being a bit silly by feeling a bit weird about it? The house actually had a nice feel when we looked around and the second viewing we were in there on our own and it didn't feel spooky or unhappy! However I feel quite annoyed that they've lied to us, and especially as the vendor really pushed us up on the price (the house needs a lot of work doing to it so the price reflects that, but we've probably offered £5k more than we wanted to).

I think you take your happiness with you.

It wouldn’t put me off if I loved the house. If the house is 100 or so years old, they may have been other deaths there over the years that you would not have known about. Death is a part of life, whether natural causes or otherwise. I can understand why the agent wouldn’t want to discuss it, and agents do not have a great rep in being honesty. It’s for you to decide, whether you still want to purchase the property given you now know the history. It doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks or whether they would proceed or not, you will living there.

We have friends whose vendor committed suicide in the house while they were in the process of buying it. They pulled out, but I think it had as much to do with the potential legal complexities as anything else.

Wouldn’t bother me. My mum died in our old family home and I sleep in the room my dad died in - I inherited his house. Everyone has to die somewhere, and houses are generally more full of good memories than bad. My house was built in 1860 and I do sometimes think of all the Christmases, birthdays and happy occasions that must have been celebrated here, but never the deaths , those are just a fact of life, and I’d much rather die at home than elsewhere.

A dd bought a house where a former owner had died. However the house had a lovely warm atmosphere (I don’t mean the temperature) as soon as you walked in. It felt as if it had been a happy family home.

Lately dd has been wondering whether the person ever departed altogether, though, since baby 3 has been doing what baby one used to do - smiling and ‘talking’ to someone who isn’t there!

The house has never felt in the least spooky though - I’ve slept there many times.

The only thing that would concern me (heartlessly) is if there were issues with the property that had added to the poor owners MH problems. I know that sounds unkind! eg. if the neighbours were awful, or structural issues or whatever.

I understand why you might feel uncomfortable but I honestly don’t believe ghosts can interact with the living in the way horror films suggest. So no, it wouldn’t put me off buying.

I’m almost certain the previous owner of this house died in my bedroom, he was elderly and was nursed at home. My next door neighbour recently died in their bedroom. People die, sometimes it happens at home. I get that death not of natural causes is more shocking, but I don’t think it should affect your living in the house.

The estate agent does appear to have lied though, that would annoy me.

There is a beautiful cottage on my road, the family that lived there had a daughter who died from SIDS. The dad then hung himself in the daughters bedroom.

A new family moved in, I have no idea if they knew at the time of purchase, but they have their own family in that house and it is so nice to see life there again.

I live in an 1800s house, who knows how many people have died here.

If it's an Edwardian house there will have been quite a few people who died in it.

Whilst the circumstances surrounding the sale are tragic, death is part of life and very much part of all older houses.

My husband died in our back room. My piano sits in the same place now. I'd be upset if someone didn't buy the house because of this and it's really none of your business and the estate agent shouldn't be divulging private information.

I do believe in spirits and that houses can have feelings about them.

I don't think I'd be put off a house due to suicide if it had felt happy in the house though.

I have previously been suicidal and while I (obviously) didn't go through with it I'm sure that if I had it wouldn't have left any sadness in the house. I had happy times there too and would never have wanted to put off people moving in. Even if I was hanging around I would have most wanted someone lovely to move in and fill the house with happiness.

I've been in a psychiatric hospital a couple of times and have to say that other suicidal people have been the most lovely people I've met. One of them mentioned this to their psychiatrist and he said "Yes...well nice people who've got mental health problems tend to take it out on themselves, people who aren't nice take it out on other people".

So what I guess I'm trying to say is that even as someone who is totally 'woo' and with experience of being in a very suicidal state of mind - if the house feels good then you are welcome there.

I most definitely wouldn't have wanted you to dwell on the unhappiness of my last days!

People who have been suicidal (even when they carried through with it) are so much more than that period of illness. We have laughed and lived and loved and felt joy. So perhaps hold onto that rather than the final act that came from illness?

In a way it's no different to a natural drawn out death. Many people taken before they feel ready by cancer will also have extremely sad deaths and many have depression due to their circumstances (understandably). Mental health issues are just another illness.

I think PP's suggestions of lighting a candle with some flowers in memory is a lovely one.

@Comps83

I'd be more bothered that someone is lying

This!

My house is over 100 years old. I'm sure someone has died here (pretty sure the previous owner did actually). Doesn't bother me in the slightest.

If it was the scene of multiple horrific crimes like Fred and Rose West's house (assuming that was still up) I'd probably not buy it, but otherwise it's just a building.

TableFlowerss

^Chasingsquirrels
Pretty sure it wouldn't bother me.
I continue to live in the house my late-DH died in.^

With all due respect- I don’t think that’s the same

Oh I totally agree, I think living through the death of a loved one in your home and continuing to live in the same home is totally different to learning that a random stranger to whom you have no connection died in a house.

And I personally don't think that the 2nd would even occur to me to be concerned about.

If you like the house go for it! Get someone in to cleanse the house first (a priest, or with sage) before you move in and do any work if that would make you feel better.

I would not be bothered by a natural death, even if the person had not been found for a while...provided there was zero evidence of this when the property was sold. Historic murders or suicides, again, I don't think I could be too bothered about (unless very notorious).

However, a recent suicide (in the main house) would have me thinking twice. If something had occurred in an outbuilding I would be less bothered. I think because I wouldn't want to be day to day living in the same physical space where someone had been so low. I guess for a historic suicide or murder it seems very detached from the present day. It is a bizarre way of thinking I know!

From a very very selfish outlook, I would also worry about ease of resale. With the internet and google, it is so easy to find out if there has ever been something reported about the house in local press etc. I've always googled the address of houses I have bought.

It wouldn't put me off. I found out after I bought my most favourite house that the previous owner died there admittedly of old age. He loved and cared for that house in the same way I did (kept on top of it). It is sad that someone committed suicide but it was their choice. My DGM used to say that the dead will not hurt you it's the living you've got to watch out for. If you've got the right vibe from it and it feels happy I would go for it

Wouldn't remotely bother me. People die everywhere.

I've recently had the chance of buying the flat where a friend of mine committed suicide in the hallway. I've visited her place a few times, it's a nice place. So this thread is very interesting to me.

I immediately hesitated and am still unsure. I think I would be even if the owner hadn't been a friend of mine. However the place would be tenanted, I wouldn't live there so that makes a difference. Part of me wants to take care of her home, she was a lovely person.

I'm one of those who always asks the EA if the previous owner died in a house I am viewing. If they did, it does put me off. Probably illogical but there you go.

People do far more off-putting things in their houses than die, in my opinion!

@NotSureICan what did you end up doing?