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Would you buy a house where someone had recently died?

145 replies

NotSureICan · 26/11/2020 20:18

Bit of a trigger warning - suicide.

Title slightly misleading, of course lots of people have died in houses especially old ones. But how would you feel about a very recent death?

We've had our offer accepted on a house which ticks all the boxes. We like the house and it has a nice feel. We've also got a buyer for ours and now trying to take advantage of the stamp duty holiday if we can, so wanting to move quickly! However after some googling today, I've discovered that unfortunately the previous occupant committed suicide in the house a few months ago. I don't have any further details (other than cause of death but I won't mention here), so not sure where in the house it happened or if it was in one of the 2 outbuildings. I also believe the person lived alone, so without being too grisly, I'm not sure how long they were there for before discovery Sad

I phoned the agent to check what has happened and they have outright lied to me. Said the house was owned by an elderly gentleman who has since died in care. When we first viewed the house, the agent said the sale was due to a death and I asked if this was in the house and they said they didn't know. Agent today says definitely not. I'm wondering if perhaps the vendor hasn't been honest with them. It looks as though the owners relative was living there after the owner went into care.

I'm not sure what to do now. Am I being a bit silly by feeling a bit weird about it? The house actually had a nice feel when we looked around and the second viewing we were in there on our own and it didn't feel spooky or unhappy! However I feel quite annoyed that they've lied to us, and especially as the vendor really pushed us up on the price (the house needs a lot of work doing to it so the price reflects that, but we've probably offered £5k more than we wanted to).

OP posts:
BlueThistles · 26/11/2020 21:34

Obviously I think the same thing should happen to them as every other house? I feel like you're missing the point a bit there.

what point am I missing ?

waffodil · 26/11/2020 21:36

There's a big difference in a house in which someone has died in natural circumstances and a house where someone committed suicide. I couldn't do it.

NotSureICan · 26/11/2020 21:37

@palavah I do feel that it is my business though when I have asked them and they have lied, and I am buying the house to live in. It seems a lot of people on this thread feel that way too so I don't think its unusual. An estate agent upthread even said that people ask all the time! Crikey.

OP posts:
Poppyolive90 · 26/11/2020 21:39

Will you be fully refurbishing? If yes I’d buy it, if no, I wouldn’t. Can’t really say why just my gut that I would want it ‘refreshed’ beyond just a clean.

PeterPomegranate · 26/11/2020 21:41

I think I would.

You could maybe do a little ‘cleansing’ ceremony that’s meaningful to you if that’s helpful.

ParkheadParadise · 26/11/2020 21:41

It's absolutely none of your business how that poor person died, and under no circumstances should you try to get their family to divulge that information.

Well Said @Palavah

NotSureICan · 26/11/2020 21:42

@parkheadparadise I'm very sorry for what happened to your daughter.

OP posts:
Coolerthanapolarbearstoenails · 26/11/2020 21:43

I've just sold my house. I'm selling it because my partner hung himself in the living room and I can't live there anymore.

My buyers don't know this (as far as I know)

The estate agent knows my partner died via suicide but I haven't spelt out where/how.

The house hasn't changed at all. It's still a cosy, loving family home, and should have the chance to continue being that. It's just a shame I can't continue living there.

I would not pull out of this is your only worry. I would live in a house someone else committed suicide in, just not my partner. The estate agents might not be lying either.

Coolerthanapolarbearstoenails · 26/11/2020 21:45

Also, in regards to my house - it's 200 years old so I would assume my partner was not the first to die there. I know for sure babies were born which is quite nice 😊

JumpingJamboree · 26/11/2020 21:45

I'm pretty sure they have to declare it down the line when selling. When we sold our old house m, we had to sign something that said something along the lines of 'to the best of your knowledge, the house has never been flooded, fire damaged or been subject to a murder or suicide.'

I would be annoyed about them lying but they are probably worried it will put people off.
I agree that living in a home where someone has passed peacefully is a bit different to where someone met a tragic or grizzly end. I wouldn't want to live in a house where someone was murdered or committed suicide, no matter how nice or cheap the house was.

PeterPomegranate · 26/11/2020 21:45

I’m sorry for your loss @Coolerthanapolarbearstoenails xx

Pacif1cDogwood · 26/11/2020 21:47

Oh, Cooler, so sad, I am so sorry. Hope you are coping as well as can be expected Thanks

A death or even a suicide while obviously sad and upsetting would not put me off being a house I loved.
I would consider me moving in with my family as adding a positive and healthy dimension to a place that might help move past the previous sad events.

Admittedly, I have quite well-developed denial skills and would be v able to not dwell on any details too much - I appreciate not everybody will feel like that.

TreacleHart · 26/11/2020 21:48

Whenever we move into a house , I thank the previous owners ( not the ones we've purchased from 😂 ) out loud as a just in case scenario .

MedusasBadHairDay · 26/11/2020 21:52

I guess my question is, what are you expecting to happen if you move there?

Fwiw, my current house the previous occupant died here, and aside from the neighbour constantly saying, "oh he wouldn't have liked what you've done to the garden" it's never been an issue.

NotSureICan · 26/11/2020 21:52

@Coolerthanapolarbearstoenails I'm so sorry Flowers thank you for your lovely reply.

OP posts:
Palavah · 26/11/2020 21:53

[quote NotSureICan]@palavah I do feel that it is my business though when I have asked them and they have lied, and I am buying the house to live in. It seems a lot of people on this thread feel that way too so I don't think its unusual. An estate agent upthread even said that people ask all the time! Crikey.[/quote]
Noone else has said they think you should be entitled to know which room they died in and how. What would you do with that information anyway?

Either you're superstitious about it and it's going to bother you, in which case move on and let the vendors find a serious buyer, or get over it.

I think you're enjoying the drama.

33goingon64 · 26/11/2020 21:54

I rented a house for 6 months. We knew the husband of the woman who owned it had died but that eas it. Next door neighbours were gossips and told us he'd committed suicide in the house. Made me feel funny for about half an hour, then I got over it. All part of life's rich tapestry.

PlanDeRaccordement · 26/11/2020 21:55

No, the fact someone died in a house would not put me off. But the feeling of a house does matter because ghosts are real and set the atmosphere or feeling of a house. I would not buy a house built over on an old burial ground though.

NotSureICan · 26/11/2020 21:55

@MedusasBadHairDay I think I'm worried we'll move in and then I'll keep thinking about it, especially when I'm alone in the house. I'm aware of how ridiculous that sounds! I need some of @Pacif1cDogwood 's denial skills.

OP posts:
AbbeyRoadNW8 · 26/11/2020 21:57

If you are not sure don't buy it. If it is your dream home then it may be different.

Diversion · 26/11/2020 21:57

People die in houses all of the time. Unless these are significant deaths which are reported locally or nationally you would never know. In the cases of properties where significant deaths have taken place the houses are normally demolished anyway.

NotSureICan · 26/11/2020 21:59

@palavah I don't usually start threads on mumsnet but I wanted to get a general feel of what other people would do in my situation. I'm replying to messages and answering questions - not sure what 'drama' you're referring to tbh? Confused

OP posts:
HermioneWeasley · 26/11/2020 22:00

Wouldn’t bother me in the slightest. Surprised so many are saying it would. What do you think will happen?

NotSureICan · 26/11/2020 22:00

@abbeyroadnw8 thanks, I'm not sure it is the dream house so perhaps that is tainting my view a little.

OP posts:
BlueThistles · 26/11/2020 22:01

I think it's madness to pull out of a sale of a beautiful home because someone died in it...

my house was built in 1888.. there must have been several deaths in it.. it's still my home and it's wonderful....

Go with your initial first feeling... buy the home OP Flowers