Mixed race family want to leave London.. :(

[Clebaby]

Hey! Please help if you can (but also please do not comment if you do not support anti-racism. Thank you!) We want to leave the rat race by buying a more rural/village/town outskirts house where mortgage repayments are way less so we can work less and be with our 2 young kids more. But outside of London we are so worried about racist attitudes. We’ve worked out a few areas that may be more diverse than others - like Leamington Spa - or places that may be white but more liberal and welcoming - like Stroud and Malvern. We have (white) family in the middle of these 3 places. Are we accurate in our assumptions? Is there anywhere else in midlands/cotswolds or even wales that would either be diverse or open minded and less racist? I spend so long looking up racist attacks on twitter every time we find a good place that I end up back at square one: London is the only safe ish place. But we don’t want to work 24/7 and never see our kids for the privilege. Over it. Maybe we have no choice but cities? :(

Leamington is nice. I think it’s a good place for a family as it’s not too big but has everything you need. Pretty quick and frequent train to London. There is a large Sikh community there. It is mostly white though, but that’s what the UK is for the most part.

JLR is a big influence in Leamington, and Warwick University, Game developers all mean there has been an influx of young well paid Europeans also commuters to Birmingham and Coventry. It is a central transport hub with a nearby airport (if we keep flying) and motorways. a few big companies have their headquarters there. since 1980s pretty consistent upward prices for housing. Lots of young families, green space and a good choice of housing types. Good or bad thing, loads of new housing estate being built not so near to town and what it has to offer. I would go for the more traditional.

Yeah if we are walking distance to Leamington centre it’s quite a small house and garden but that’s ok to be near so much lovely stuff. If we are in a village nearby we can get more space but need to get into driving again. Win some lose some

Honestly
Look at Birmingham
So many good areas, good schools and lots of development.
Sutton Coldfield, Solihull, Harborne, Moseley, Kings Heath, Edgbaston to name well known areas.

There are also lots of up and coming areas. I was in Birmingham enjoying Korean barbecue in China town which now resembles in some ways the south Laines of Brighton with lots of restaurants having seating outdoors, everyone chirpy. Unfortunately it’s gone into temporary lockdown but hey Covid times...

We experienced more racism in London than in outskirts, mostly from non-white people (We are far East asian). We now live on the southern coast, and it's been amazing.

www.zoopla.co.uk/for-sale/details/55997054?search_identifier=e8633c498adc1b6975c4ce417e0092dd

www.zoopla.co.uk/for-sale/details/55976061?search_identifier=e8633c498adc1b6975c4ce417e0092dd

www.zoopla.co.uk/for-sale/details/55961249?search_identifier=e8633c498adc1b6975c4ce417e0092dd

You can spend a lot but will get value for money as in a large house. However there are also much cheaper options like the first which I know (as I have a house there) this road is practically Sutton Coldfield and lovely.

Reading for sure. Very diverse. Nice town centre, lots of smaller towns nearby which are posh but fairly liberal.

In a weird plot twist the people in the small town I come from would fall over themselves to have you as their friend as proof they’re not racist .

@tara66

My son, who is not entirely white, says he will not go outside M25 (which is not true as he just went to Scotland for a week). He says the people there (the other side of M25) are ''different'' - prejudiced, inward looking, racist etc . He has multiple degrees, is very well travelled and has a very well paid job - in London.

Oh come on. What about Leicester, Bradford, Bolton, Manchester, Birmingham?

Sounds like Londonitis to me. Stereotyping of the North as backwards, racist and culture free.

We’re a mixed race family; we live in mid wales, we absolutely love it. DH works at the university and I work in the hospital. The DC go to a school were diversity is celebrated and there are lots of cultural events. DH and the DC say they have never experienced any racism.

Looking more towards the midlands might be better, maybe places in the outskirts of Birmingham and Dudley. I don’t personally know these areas but they have much more multiculturalism.

I'm in Wolverhampton, I love that this place is mixed. I spent my teens in Northern towns which are basically segregated, or were then.

Versaki is usually celebrated in West Park and has people of various backgrounds attending although the procession itself is Sikh, the rest of us just eat good food and go on the fairground rides.

There are shops that mostly care for one group but you are as likely to hear Polish in the sweet centre as you are Punjabi.

For places of worship (just to give an idea of the diversity) there are Mosques and Gurdwaras and a couple of Hindu centres, if you want to go to church you can pick not only a church but a language from Italian Pentecostal to Welsh Chapel via Polish RC and Asian Church.

@FurierTransform LOL. You'd hate where I live, but that's fine because we wouldn't want someone so snobby there anyway

OP - some good suggestions here. I think you're probably looking for somewhere a bit more upmarket than my area, but I second the recommendations for Leicester and Birmingham (although my recommendation would be around Sutton Coldfield or Sandwell Valley rather than Solihull). Moseley is nice but I don't think it's all that diverse tbh unless you head towards Balsall Heath. A left field suggestion is Handsworth Wood - nice houses but often dismissed because of proximity to Handsworth - depends on your tolerance for people thinking you live in the ends.

I'm BAME and live in Leamington, OP. Having moved from a big city myself I don't find it hugely diverse but it's certainly a lot more diverse than many other areas in the Midlands. There is a long-established Sikh community and lots of workers from other countries who work at JLR or the university. The north side of town is very 'naice' and predominantly white and affluent whereas the south side tends to have a lot of students and migrant workers from India. Leamington does have a fairly liberal bent (it's the only area in the county to have a Labour MP, but only by a very slim majority) and has a good food scene.

Overall it's a great place to live with a strong community spirit. Houses are pricey for this part of the world but on a London budget you should be fine. Happy to chat more over PM if you have any questions

Endless it's interesting to hear you talk about Leamington - I have family there but was reluctant to talk about it as I'm white (my DD is BAME) and I would be concerned that it's more two-culture (Sikh and White) rather than diverse - it's good to hear you speak positively of it.

We're a mixed race family and live in Bristol. Really enjoy living here (I'm originally from East London but my DH is from Bristol), as it's diverse and I find it so much more chilled out than London.

Properties can be expensive depending on where you want to live, especially if you want to get kids into a particular catchment school, but I personally feel that I have a much happier set up settling in Bristol than staying in London.

Racism is everywhere but I guess you can try to minimize it

Leamington Spa nice but a huge divide in house prices. North Leamington very pricey unless you look at Cubbington and Lillington but the schools aren't great. South of the river, Whitnash a lot more for your money but obv not as nice as the North

The Cotswolds is stunning, some of the tiny little villages are incredible. No surprise many celebs live there

Bournemouth is getting a lot more diverse and has lots of BAME people. I'm a rather mixed heritage myself (English and Turkish) and really enjoy some of the multicultural areas of the town. Most people here are from other parts of the country/world because we have two universities.
Have you considered the South Coast in general
? Southampton is very diverse and relatively cheap, Chichester is expensive but not in the same league as London and is on the "main" train line for getting back into the city.

@MiddleClassProblem

I found Reading suburbs and surrounding villages racist. It was the first time I had felt so self conscious and isolated after living in London. It’s not aggressive racism, it’s the kind where they just don’t talk to you and expect people of their own race to socialise with their own race. When you are mixed it’s a bit fucked. There were some lovely people there but we moved because it was so uncomfortable for me as a mixed race woman. The surrounding villages are quite Tory and will accept you in the “your one of us” way but you will still hear them stereotype and throw comments around even about your own race, when you are present.

However, my parents live in Devon, their village is surprisingly diverse. Although the nearby town isn’t as such, it is very welcoming of other cultures and anyone who isn’t white becomes on first name terms due to being easily recognisable. Myself and my family have never had any issues there other than standard ignorant, well meaning comments.

I think you need to know what you and your family are comfortable with in the racism scale.

Just because white people haven’t noticed anything racist happen in their area, doesn’t mean it’s not happening. But I don’t think there are many places that are solely racist.

We're in the area near the University and it's very diverse so I feel more safe and accepted. But you're right, the villages around Reading are much more white in my experience.

But conversely ask the loud racist comments I and my kids have received in recent months have all happened in and around the town centre... so yes, racists also travel regardless of where you live.

But overall I would recommend Reading, we're on the East side with access to Wokingham secondary schools which are fairly ethnically diverse. The grammar schools have had a disproportionately high (compared to national percentages) percentage of non-white children, but that may be evening out in recent years due to changes in the 11+.

OP I wish you (and I) didn't have to do this kind of research, good luck in your hunt for a new home.

My family actually experienced more racism in London than we do in Liverpool. My husband and my children are mixed race, I am white.

@EdithHope you sound very close to where I was. I was in Woodley. I found it really difficult and isolating. I’m a very friendly person but would be frequently ignored, side eyed etc, made some friends through NCT. I didn’t know what the problem was because I never experienced that kind of racism and it took a local medical professional to tell me what it was. That’s when it all clicked into place. I join a local sports club and they kept calling me by an Asian name, my name is not that, and no one would partner with me when doing drills. A two different shops I had issues, one I asked questions and was ignored so my white husband asked and they answered, another would answer my questions but direct them to my husband.
No aggressive racism, but very unwelcoming and, although there were some lovely people there, there was too many people who were the other way for us to want to continue living there. Also the Brexit vote happened when we were there, so maybe that was part of why it was happening a lot.

My own boundaries, I can take someone shouting a racist slur once a year (clearly in the minority) over a few times a week feeling like I’m not a human being by being ignored.

I have since spoken to a couple of other friends who had similar experiences around the Reading area.

I lived in Ingatestone Essex which has 35 min direct train to liverpool street london. The school Anglo european school is amazing and you can be accepted there from local areas if you are bilingual or lived in a different country for over a year. You are in the minority if you are white british and the school promotes such inclusion and acceptance of cultures and religions so if you are thinking outskirts of london definitely worth looking into

When I imagine my family in the future I feel safest thinking about them living in an area that voted remain and that is quite liberal and creative -because that will be a generally friendlier place, IMO.. as well as more welcoming to us. And more fun! The Leave people I know are so angry and moany.
No wonder this country is so divided at the moment

Because of all the stereotyping that happens right OP?

@CatsFantastic finding a place to live is very much like finding a partner- its better to find a place which fits you the best rather than trying to fit into a place. It makes life a lot easier.

For example, I wouldn't want to be married to a Brexiter (if I was still looking and on the dating market).There are no doubt some Brexiters out there who make excellent husbands. There may even be a Brexiter out there that would be a great match. But I would rather not experiment and would rather cut out all the drama. Its similar with finding a place to live. OP should look for a place which she feels fits her ethos and has a mix of people she is more likely to get along with.

I grew up not far from Malvern and it was considered inbred and unwelcoming if you weren't at least the 10th generation. They might have changed a bit, but I can't imagine you'd be particularly welcome simply for being an outsider.

There are some really nice semi-urban dormitory bits around Birmingham. They used to be pretty white, but the upper middle classes in Birmingham are seriously diverse (lots of hospitals and universities and engineering jobs) so they might be a lot less white than they used to be. E.g. somewhere like Cofton Hackett or pretty much anywhere east of the M42. Getting out towards Kidderminster/Stafford/Telford gets much more white and deprived (probably optimal breeding ground for racists).

I've got friends in and around Derby and that seems a really nice place to live. Cheap, much less deprived than most of the East Midlands, a nice town centre and the Peak District up the road. It doesn't seem to have slums in the same way Nottingham and Leicester do, so you might be saved from some of the resentment and racism.

I’m not sure what your point is hoping?

I was just pointing out the OPs comment about the country being so divided at the moment was rather ironic considering how narrow her own views are.