Mixed race family want to leave London.. :(

[Clebaby]

Hey! Please help if you can (but also please do not comment if you do not support anti-racism. Thank you!) We want to leave the rat race by buying a more rural/village/town outskirts house where mortgage repayments are way less so we can work less and be with our 2 young kids more. But outside of London we are so worried about racist attitudes. We’ve worked out a few areas that may be more diverse than others - like Leamington Spa - or places that may be white but more liberal and welcoming - like Stroud and Malvern. We have (white) family in the middle of these 3 places. Are we accurate in our assumptions? Is there anywhere else in midlands/cotswolds or even wales that would either be diverse or open minded and less racist? I spend so long looking up racist attacks on twitter every time we find a good place that I end up back at square one: London is the only safe ish place. But we don’t want to work 24/7 and never see our kids for the privilege. Over it. Maybe we have no choice but cities? :(

Surprised no one has mentioned Bristol. Big Afro Carribbean and Somalian community, my son's school is very diverse. If you stick to East Bristol the house prices aren't too crazy.

@GoGoPowerScooter

Oxford is fab - v multicultural and diverse, particularly East Oxford. Rest of the county not so much 🙄

The towns close to oxford are pretty diverse because Oxford is so very expensive.

@DaphneduM - What makes you say that?
From a young age I was warned off going to the Forest of Dean and heard countless stories of racist incidents. I went for training in an NHS job a couple of years back (it was actually training on what to look out for in terms of terrorism). The trainer who had a police background said that this area is known to be a hotspot for racist / white supremacist groups. If you know different to this I would be interested to hear it. But don’t patronise me by telling the OP to ignore my points just because you are oblivious to the truth.
I have visited there many many times for work and I have never once seen another person of colour. There is certainly no multiculturalism there and I won’t be the only black person who is very wary and hyper vigilant every time I go there. I certainly would not recommend that a family of colour move there.

Oh those pesky racist provincials

I live in Stroud. I love it. I feel that Stroud welcomes everybody. Also the direct train to London only takes an hour and a half.

As someone previously said there's not a great deal of ethnic diversity but I think that does depend a bit on whereabouts in Stroud. I'm very central and my sons school is too and because of that we have a lot of families originally from out of the area (usually London!) at my sons school so it's probably more diverse than others.

I live in North Wiltshire on the London mainline. It's not that diverse (certainly not compared to where I grew up) but it's cheap, it's friendly, it's not snobby and it's a great place for kids with good schools We are moving but I'd recommend it if you want to be close to other family in this area. Avoid Swindon. And probably Cirencester and surrounding villages. (Lovely but a bit too villagey attitude)
Worth a look anyhow. I say not diverse but I grew up in inner city so I probably have different standards.
Good luck and you'll find somewhere that suits. (Other suggestion of Banbury good too!)

littlekipling could you narrow it down a bit - West Yorkshire is a big place and I'd be interested in looking on Rightmove but need something more specific.

We too are a mixed race family and I know exactly what you mean, OP, about being nervous to move in case you inadvertently arrive somewhere racist, particularly after Brexit.

Hi @Clebaby, do you need to travel to London on a regular basis for work or is location not really a relevant factor? I know that you mentioned the Cotswolds, Midlands and Wales in your opening post, but have you considered the South West? Before anyone jumps on me, yes, the South West is predominantly rural and more sparsely populated than many other regions of the UK, and may not be the first place that springs to mind as being culturally diverse, liberal or welcoming. However, we are in West Somerset, very rural, in the middle of a very agricultural area and I can honestly say that we have never experienced any form of racist behaviour, attitudes or comments. For reference, I am white and my partner, and her daughter, are black African.

Others may disagree and have had different experiences, but this is just our personal perspective.

North Wiltshire and North Hampshire could be good places to look?

Wherehavetheteletubbiesgone - I totally agree with your phrase that perhaps you "get along fine until someone...... tells us how to live our lives or cries we are racists because we don't have a halal butcher in the village or there isn't a mosque for 30 odd miles" but I don't like the section I've missed out where you write someone "from outside". I also don't like the obvious emphasis on cultural/religious customs relating to Islamic countries. Perhaps you could vary it a little and say that someone cries you're racist because your butcher doesn't stock horsemeat for human consumption, or there's no temple in the village. Anyway - I digress. Back to the point in hand.

You see, that's exactly it. "Outsiders". So it's ok if an "insider" says it, is it? And how do you tell an outsider from an insider? Do you check the electoral roll to see how long they've lived there? Make a judgement based on accent? How?

My son is mixed race at the boys college in Cheltenham high percentage of internationals but at his prep school outside Stroud he did get racism and the only black family moved to outside Oxford due to the lack of diversity. His dad is Indian and couldn’t stand being down there he felt it was racist and bigoted, I wouldn’t go to Gloucester very run down esp Inner city. I would go to outskirts of London or any large city which I expect my son will gravitate towards

Do you want to be near family or just have a lower mortgage? What sort of budget have you got in mind?

A lot of outer London is diverse and much cheaper than places closer in.

Most towns have a mix of different areas, some of which are more diverse than others. The suggestion that because we don’t live in London we’re all racist is really insulting tbh.

My experiences of Leamington and Malvern are not multi cultural at all - especially Malvern!
Leam maybe slightly more and has the student element which is changeable.
I would personally look at some of the more villagey areas around Solihull but they will vary by village somewhat.

I grew up near Malvern and currently live in Birmingham. I wouldn't say Malvern is particularly diverse. There isn't much going on really but Worcester is close for a bit of action. But again not diverse really.
I live in between Moseley & Kings Heath which is great! Very multicultural, lots going on, close to lots of lovely green areas but also close to the city! Moseley Park and Cannon Hill park are lush! We have an arts market once a month through the village too. Lots of nice pubs and cafes. Good transport links etc.

Leamington really isn't diverse, although it is surprisingly liberal.

Woah thanks so much for all your amazing comments I really appreciate it!

It’s something I’ve been thinking non stop about for years and researching intensely for months and going around in circles because there is no safe space in a society as divided as ours is currently.. but I have faith everywhere will slowly get better soon.

I didn’t specify race as don’t think it matters and allows for a wider range of responses I reckon, we are not religious and are not involved in our culture really, we just like being around a mix of people. Too much of the same of us would be boring! Where we are in south London is massively mixed and we were hoping to find a similar area in other towns.

Seems like near Birmingham could be good then. We had looked at Oxford but it was so expensive and Villages were too. I grew up near Bicester and Banbury and unfortunately the only proper racists I’ve known are from and live there, so def won’t move too close to there - though heard it’s getting better!

And yeah by better I mean not just no racist attacks but no low level backwards/inward looking racism that is repressed and trickles down and is just waiting to bully my kids in the classroom..

Thanks for all your ideas I have lots to research.

I was expecting more of the White privilege denying crew to be all handbags - so glad we can have grown up conversations at the moment.

Yeah nobody should have to consider this stuff before moving their families but it’s 2020 and here we are. :( Please consider yourself very lucky if you’ve never had to think about such things. And please keep making friends with people who don’t look like you - it will make the place you live so much lovelier :)

I should have said on this yesterday that, as a mixed-race family, we've had more problems with micro aggressions and overt ignorance and racism in London (return a lot for visits) than in Cardiff. That surprised me at first but solidified the decision to stay in Wales, when we could have moved back.

Well we all seem to get on fine out in the sticks. Those that integrate and accept they are moving to the rural British countryside do fine. What we do object to is new people coming in and claiming we are racist because we are so monoculture. Guess what England is 85% white and even more so in the countryside. Just accepted you are moving to a white area and if you were on my street you would still get invited to my BBQs. I live near some an American airbase in central England there are many minority personnel working there. There seems to be virtually no issues between the groups (driving standard aside but that applies to all American base personnel). So perhaps try an area like those.

Have you thought about Bedfordshire OP? Bedford is very multi-cultural for one. I grew up in a town not far from there and never had or saw any problems

Well we all seem to get on fine out in the sticks. Those that integrate and accept they are moving to the rural British countryside do fine. What we do object to is new people coming in and claiming we are racist because we are so monoculture

People don't claim racism just because an area is monoculture. It's often the little things that matter - people trying to touch your hair, or women instinctively clutching their handbags tighter when they see your DH coming past, or others assuming you're the nanny if your children are a different shade to you, or constantly mistaking the only two black kids in a school, or saying things like 'your son is really articulate' when you know full well he's bang on average but their expectations for him were obviously very low, or people saying 'where are you from?' and keeping on asking even when you've clearly said 'south London', so you feel the need to confirm that you really were born there and actually yes, your parents were too.

None of those examples are from people with any ill intent, it's just that stereotypes run really deep and it can be exhausting to try to combat them, unless you have tremendous energy for it, as a family it's generally easier to try not to be the first.

Leamington has a young population and has become a lot more hipsterish in the last few years. Lots of people who work in engineering and software. Student town. Possibly the biggest Sikh temple outside India. Has a Labour mp and voted remain. Also popular for commuting to London. In pre Covid days queues to get into coffee shops, although there are shedloads of them!

Another vote for Cardiff, multicultural and more relaxed than London, while still having a lot of amenities and activities. I’ve found the people really welcoming.