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Original poster

Flat vs house – settle a debate between DH and me

102 replies

butterbeanplant · 07/07/2019 17:55

Hi all,

I would really appreciate your advice as we’re kinda stuck!

So DH and I are wanting to buy a place in south London. We’re looking for a 2bed, 2bath place. Budget of £500k (so we stay under FTB stamp duty rate). We don’t have kids yet and don’t expect them for a few years (fingers crossed!!)

Problem is we have wildly different views on what to buy…

OP posts:
PlatoAteMySnozcumber · 07/07/2019 19:50

where do you think would be a good compromise?

There isn’t anywhere to be honest. What DH suggests is the compromise but it doesn’t work.

MN isn’t full of childless 20 something professionals so you will get the ‘house’ answer. 90 per cent of people I know lived cool London in 20’s with a move to sensible suburbia in their 30’s. Some went burbs straight away but weren’t the partying types and others didn’t move out but they bought early doors when you could still buy a big house for the price of a flat these days.

In my 30’s with two children and a big house in the suburbs (and very little opportunity and money to party) I look back on my 20’s with fondness and couldn’t imagine not having gone all in.

As an aside, as far as I know anecdotally since the Brexit vote, flats in the cooler places have nose dived and have been harder to shift while prices in the suburbs have gone up.

Original poster
butterbeanplant · 07/07/2019 19:53

@JoJoSM2 super helpful! I hear what youre saying about MN demographics. I kinda asked on here because I wanted to know the answer from people 'looking back'. @motherofcats81 asked how old we are, i'm 33, DH is 36, so not super into clubbing any more.

OP posts:
daisypond · 07/07/2019 19:57

A house doesn’t have to equate to suburbia though. I’m in a two bed house and I have shops, restaurants, bars, clubs, takeaways etc within a minute’s walk.

ilovewinterpansies · 07/07/2019 19:58

I was going to go against the grain and say flat (I am a real city animal) but now I know your ages I think house probably a best bet.

Kids can't be that far away surely? I think it's basically down to that.

If 25 years old and kids not for another 10 years.....buy the flat.

If early/mid 30s and presumably not going to wait 10 years for kids....buy the house.

Sunshinegirl82 · 07/07/2019 20:02

At 33 and 36 I can't imagine it will be more than 5 years before you would look to have DC? On that basis I'd go for the house.

It just isn't worth lumbering yourself with stamp duty and moving costs in 2-3 years time. We've just moved and stamp duty, moving costs, legal fees have swallowed at least £20k. We've got very little to show for it!

£20k would pay for an awful lot of taxis from the more buzzy places OP!

DaphneduM · 07/07/2019 20:06

Definitely a house - a much better investment all round. You will be freehold rather than leasehold. You also don't want to have to move again in a few years time - moving is so expensive.

BringMeThatHorizon · 07/07/2019 20:11

Definitely a house and a freehold. We bought a flat 5 years ago, now have an 8 month old and are desperate to move but it's taking ages and the fact that it's leasehold is making it even slower. For the moment we're stuck here and I hate it! Plus moving is costing us a fortune in stamp duty/solicitors/general moving costs. Wish we'd bought a bit further out in the first place.

dodgeballchamp · 07/07/2019 20:13

Do you definitely want to have children? Is one of you more into the idea than the other?

Original poster
butterbeanplant · 07/07/2019 20:25

@Sunshinegirl82 eeek, i bet you could hear my intake of breath!! 20k is a big wad of cash.

@dodgeballchamp yeah we're both into having kids so will happen within five years i reckon.

OP posts:
OrdinarySnowflake · 07/07/2019 20:25

I'm going to go against the grain and say 'flat'. You might find when you are ready to start a family, you don't feel staying in London is worth it. Having lowered your standard of living for those child-free years when you can make the most of London living seems pointless.

I would buy a flat, because that would suit the life you have now and want to have. The attitude of buying a property as an investment rather than a place to live is the wrong one.

Buy a flat in the area you want to live for the way you want to live. If in the future you want to start a family, you can sell then or rent it out and rent elsewhere.

Must say, if you are 33 and you still aren't really thinking about DCs in the next couple of years, perhaps you need to think about when you do plan to have them or if at all and plan accordingly.

PlatoAteMySnozcumber · 07/07/2019 20:25

Hmm, mid 30’s I would say maybe go for a house! Ask yourself how long before you want to have children, you want to be in your long term home by the time they start school. Look at how much additional moving costs and stamp duty you would pay in that time and ask yourself if it is worth it.

OrdinarySnowflake · 07/07/2019 20:27

oh X post, so 5 years before DCs? That's a long time in Catford.

Perhaps think about the rental value of any flat you buy in terms of possibly renting it out and renting somewhere else for you to live in.

I would also suggest you don't buy anything this side of Brexit. Prices in London may well fall, you'd be really pissed off to have bought something at the top of the market.

Original poster
butterbeanplant · 07/07/2019 20:32

@OrdinarySnowflake thanks. those were my thoughts too. if I had to summarise it I'd say DH is looking at buying a place like an investment...i'm looking at it like a home for now. I've been thinking maybe we'll leave London when we decide to have DC, in which case several years in an area we don't like is a lot. A big compromise. I can't tell if it's a compromise too far.

OP posts:
pilates · 07/07/2019 20:33

Definitely freehold and in an area good for schools so you haven’t got to move again

motherofcats81 · 07/07/2019 20:34

Oh I think you'd be fine in SE London then! I moved down here early 30s as did most people I know, there are families but also single professional types, and lots of nice pubs/bars/restaurants etc. And depending on where you are exactly you can get to places like Brixton quickly (I'm in Sydenham and it's 10 mins on the train to Brixton).

This is a really up and coming area and there's lots of new places opening all the time. Lots of people are moving in to Catford right now in particular.

Only you know if you'd really miss being a bit close to the centre but I really wouldn't say it is suburbia down here, it is a bit more chilled and with a community feel. I know a lot of people who have moved here in the last few years and everyone loves it, I don't know anyone who has any regrets!

Whenwilliseesleepagain · 07/07/2019 20:35

Don't ever buy leasehold. We are having so many problems selling our flat now all because of the lease and clauses in it.

RicStar · 07/07/2019 20:38

www.rightmove.co.uk/property-for-sale/property-72563812.html I would buy this house. You can get lots of buses from brixton is very close to railway station and you can probably convert attic in future.

Trills · 07/07/2019 20:41

The more connected area, for me.

Don't spend years in a place you like less, just because you think you might want to live there in 2027.

You don't want going places and doing things to feel like a hassle. You want to feel that it's easy. You don't want to find yourself turning down invitations or stopping suggesting fun things because you can't be bothered with the trip.

JW13 · 07/07/2019 20:42

We had a similar dilemma 6 years ago. We were choosing between a flat in Farringdon vs a house in Herne hill/Dulwich. I was early 30s and DH early 40s. Went with the house and definitely don't regret it. We had DS 18 months ago so we were in the house 4.5 years before he arrived. Now we're back in a flat while our new house is being renovated and I'm desperate to get back to a house and garden and away from noise from neighbours/stairs with a toddler!

Brixton is great and I spent a lot of time there on mat leave but I liked being able to get away from it as Herne hill/Dulwich are a bit quieter.

So I would vote for house but appreciate we were lucky enough to get a house in a more central area so less of a dilemma. I would say my going out has definitely decreased though so you might not want to be so in the thick of it in 2/3 years time.

OrdinarySnowflake · 07/07/2019 20:43

see, if you don't see yourself staying in London when you have DCs, definately don't buy a house in an area you don't want to live in that will compromise your lifestyle, for a property that isn't going to be more than a 5 year house anyway!

MrsGrindah · 07/07/2019 20:43

I don’t know why some posters think you are more likely to get troublesome neighbours in a flat! Surely it depends on location, quality of flat etc.
OP We bought a leasehold flat ten years ago and never regretted it although not in London. No problems with neighbours and management company are fab. Any problems outside the confines of our property the caretaker deals with it. It won’t be everybody’s experience I know but don’t think it’s fair to say a flat would automatically have more problems. We moved into a flat ti escape nightmare house and neighbours!

Malvinaa81 · 07/07/2019 21:29

If we just leave aside the inner city/suburb theme: freehold beats leasehold every time- no fellow leaseholders (do you even begin to understand the tedium of these cretins) and very important, no service charge.

But if you like a variety of neighbours, some tenants, some Airbnnb, some with absent landlords, and can face the intricacies and never ending expense of service charges, and all this enables an inner city lifestyle you seem to yearn for, then go for it.

And Catford well....no....

hadthesnip2 · 07/07/2019 21:38

I was going to say a flat in Brixton but then seeing your ages its got to be a house.

OrdinarySnowflake · 07/07/2019 22:09

Hadthesnip2 - I would agree, if they were thinking of buying a house that would be one they planned to live in for 10/15 years, or at least in an area that they planned to live in for the bulk of any child's childhood - but the OP doesn't want to live in Catford, nor raise DCs there. There is no point of buying there for the sake of having a house.

BlueSkiesLies · 07/07/2019 22:58

I was going to say a more central flat, but at 33 and 36 if you actually want kids, I’d save the moving costs and stamp duty (as you would have to pay on your next purchase) and go for a house now.

Check out forest hill and Sydenham, should be able to get a house for 500