Would you rather live in a nice, normal house or a big, expensive one?

[BoogleMcGroogle]

We are currently deciding whether to 'upgrade'. Our house is fine, it makes me happy being there, we have a tiny mortgage and can afford to save well, travel with the kids and generally do nice things. Our house will never be Country Living magazine, but it's sunny, spacious and feels like home. We can ( after years of dreaming) finally afford the smart, Farrow and Balled period doodah, and now ( having found one that's perfect on paper) I'm having a wobble. I'm now not sure it's worth sacrificing the financial freedom for a couple of character fireplaces and some big, potentially problematic trees. Any thoughts?

As a teenager I grew up in a big lovely house but it wasn’t as homely and warm (literally- heating bills) as my 3 bed I live in now with my family.
We have 5 kids but haven’t got a bigger house as I didn’t enjoy that as child myself x

Maintaining physically and financially a bigger house is a pita ime!!

Well are you feeling the wobble because you are not sure about the house and you will still move if you find another you prefer, or are you not sure about spending all the money you could put into life on a house? I know how you feel, but I am in the fab house but it has not been made farrow and ball perfect and we have to decide whether to live in a cool, chic, i.e. not perfect house and have a better lifestyle or whether we remortgage, extend and live in a nicer house - but with fewer holidays.

I think you and your DH and DC need to sit down and decide whether having lots of trips / days out / meals out - whatever you spend it on - is more important than moving. Also, if you really love your home but you are only moving to impress others, that's not going to make you happy.

I always look at how I will feel when I am about to die, will I regret X or Y - that helps me make the decision.

Your home sounds lovely.

Only you can decide, and it depends so much on your current house, your ambition, earning power, age. I personally don't think I'd extend the mortgage for character fireplaces and trees. However a 4th bedroom or extra reception room, being detached, ORP, location location location, possibly a bigger garden when the kids were smaller - all things I value. If you'd asked me 15 years ago I'd have said I'd like semi detached and a bigger 3rd bedroom.

Friends of ours built a huge house. It’s a disaster because their family gets lost in it. Houses can most definitely be too large to function.

Also, be wary of housework in a very large house.

BTW, I should add, you are happy in your current home, you like it, it is bright. You can afford to go on nice holidays - I would not move if it was me.

I used to want a Victorian or Georgian house, now I am glad we didn't buy one. I grew up in a period home - you never, ever stop spending money on them!

A nice, normal house. Having a large, older property does involve lots of maintenance and expense .. do you enjoy DIY etc? I used to drool over Period Homes magazines etc but then had a life changing experience and for various reasons ended up living in a small flat for a year. It really made me question my values and why
did I have so many sets of china, posh cutlery, etc etc. I thoroughly de-cluttered and we now have a very nice house but it is certainly nothing “spectacular’. I do find that some people who live in really special houses care more about the bricks and mortar than other aspects of their life.

If you love your house and have the space you need then stay there! My house is basically the perfect size for us and I still struggle to stay on top of the cleaning and maintenance. I'd prefer to have the holidays and good lifestyle than extra space! One of my friends has a very big house and doesn't use half of it!

feeling happy in a sunny spacious home sounds about perfect to me - I'd stay and enjoy the extras you can afford due to tiny mortgage. Period homes, while beautiful, can be quite exhausting to maintain, as can extra space (both inside and out) that's not wholly necessary...I'm in my second period house - this one with a massive garden - and I regularly dream of a nice spacious enough easier to stay on top of family home.

It's the maintenance and upkeep, gardening and grounds that can be a burden and whether you can make the house feel like a cosy home.

My DH and I could of afforded a much bigger house..we looked at a house with 9 bedrooms and a swimming pool at one point..We both loved it! It was beautiful!!
But we both sat down and worked out exactly what disposable income we would be left with yearly.

Thinking of the future, we both didn't want to make a sacrifice of less holidays, doing what ever we like with our children whenever we want.
To us making memories was far more important.

We decided to go for a smaller house. Which was the best decision we ever made!!
DH, our children and I absolutely love our home. It's still spacious, detached..just doesn't have a swimming pool and nine bedrooms 😂
It's our home, full of happy memories and love ❤️ the bigger house would of been filled with the same, but living in our smaller house we get to go on more holidays, showing our children the world.
We have more freedom!

You sound very happy already. Don't fix what isn't broken! Freedom to be able to do what you like with no worries, is everyone's dream 😊

I'd take a nice normal house with holidays and money to spare over a big house that stretches us any more.
I'd like one more move (two if you include downsizing for retirement) because I'd like an extra reception room and an extra bedroom, but it won't be until we can truly afford it without being stretched. If I had these two elements, I wouldn't move just for a bigger house. The upkeep and cleaning would also be a lifestyle change I wouldn't want to have to change!

I wouldn't trade financial security for a swankier home, no way.

We have a suitably sized (for us) family home. We had a similar choice recently but opted to stay in our house. We're 44 with two preteen DC. As of 6 weeks ago, we're mortgage free. It is soooooo liberating to know no matter what, no one can take our house away. We are now saving to have the amazing bathrooms and kitchens. Also having different holidays to normal this year. In all honesty though, for me the biggest reason not to go bigger was I already hate the housework, I didn't need more . Good luck with whatever you choose to do.

I grew up in a big lovely old house.
It was a labour of love for my parents.
It’s certainly put me off ever owning something as large myself.

I wouldn't. Make the most of your lives now and save what you can.

I would only have a big house if I had the income to afford it. If it was a struggle to pay for it, in any way, I wouldn't do it, unless my current house was hideously unsuitable.

Because you already have a nice home that suits you and you're comfortable in, and a nice lifestyle, I struggle to see why you would swap that, tbh. I don't think I would.

The problems could well extend beyond a couple of trees. You might have to start thinking about: draughts, heating costs, the cost of a new roof, rising damp, old windows, rotten floorboards, inefficient boiler, crumbling masonry, Victorian crumbling drains to name but a few of the issues we have dealt with over the last 14 years.

And yes to beware of a large garden, unless you absolutely love gardening.

I used to live in a 1970s smallish house and I never thought once about any home maintenance. I yearned to live in a rambling old pile.

Now I live in a rambling old pile and there is never money to do anything except pour it into the fabric of the house, and all my sunny weekends are spent gardening and the winters are spent decorating.

I am hoping to move certainly to something smaller, though perhaps still old, in the next couple of years.

Your freedom is worth more than any thing.

Having a very similar quandry. Our house is a very lovely house we've been very happy in. But the garden is very small (Victorian Terrace), on street parking is a pain and the kitchen where we spend most of our time is dark....

Do we spend money on making the kitchen less dark? Do we move?

We are mortgage free at 50 - we'd have to get a £150-£200K mortgage to get the house with garden and off road parking.

We can afford the mortgage - but would we rather be on holiday more....hmm?

Lifestyle far more important.

@PtarmiganBiscuit In your case I would move, as the move comes with benefits that would improve lifestyle - parking, nice kitchen and larger garden!

Lifestyle for me. The big house would be nice if easily affordable along with the maintenance and repairs. A friends parents bought a big Georgian house with acres, cottage, drive, pool and tennis courts when their children were little. They were both in well paid jobs. They are now retired and can't sell it. It's been on market for 3 years, lots of interest but no-one come up with the cash.

Their house doesn't have the big kitchen with island that is now in vogue, although the kitchen is still bigger than average, for the size of house it is small. Also the quiet road when they bought house 35 years ago is now a busy one. I think bigger houses have a smaller market and often not as easy to sell. Her parents would love to release some cash and reduce outgoings with smaller house.

Do you actually need more space? Bigger kitchen or more rooms?

If not, I'd stay put.